


If I Had Known I Wouldn't Have Gone On Like This

by tumblruserpailylove



Category: Glee, Pretty Little Liars
Genre: Banter, Best Friends, Blind Date, Broadway, Broadway Star Rachel Berry, Celebrations, Crossover, Denial of Feelings, Drunken Kissing, Drunken Shenanigans, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Gals being pals, Gossip, Karaoke, Lots of awkwardness, Matchmaking, Mutual Pining, Protective Santana, Romance, Roommates, Rumors, Self-Discovery, Set Ups, Sex, Snuggling, but in a cute way, double dates, honestly lots of cute roommate stuff, oh my god they were roommates, oh some other glee kids come into play, paige mccullers is fucking suave, santana is a gay mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-25 16:52:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 176,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15644952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tumblruserpailylove/pseuds/tumblruserpailylove
Summary: When Santana's cousin Emily points out how perfect Rachel would be for her she thinks she's crazy. But is she? Santana is sent into a sudden spiral of denial and self discovery about her true feelings and if the truth is worth risking her friendship over. Meanwhile Emily is swept up in an unexpected romance with Rachel's friend Paige. Crossover w/pezberry as main focus.





	1. No one knows you like family does

**Author's Note:**

> (Just moving my old works from ffnet to here)  
> (I have not re-read or edited any of my old works so sorry if they're horrible)

Santana let out a groan when Rachel walked into her room to check that she was ready. “Berry, seriously, will you give it a rest?” She turned around to face Rachel, standing in just her tight knee length black skirt and a matching bra. “I am trying to decide which shirt to wear and then I will be out, I promise.”

 

Rachel smiled softly, looking at her friend and shrugging a little “I was just going to say that I hope you have fun tonight.”

 

Santana rolled her eyes and turned back to her full length mirror “No you came to make sure I was getting ready.”

 

Rachel laughed very softly and took a few steps toward Santana now “I just wanted to see what you were wearing. Not that I have to worry, you have always had a great sense of fashion.” She shrugged and sat on the edge of the bed now. She watched her friend hold up different shirts in front of her, checking herself out in the mirror, before tossing them all aside and reaching for more. She smiled very gently and caught Santana’s eyes in the mirror “I just wanted to say thanks for doing this.”

 

“I had no choice” Santana mumbled before pulling on a red peasant top and fluffing it a little bit at the shoulders.

 

“Of course you had a choice” Rachel said with a roll of her eyes. “You could have said no. I just, you know, worry about you.”

 

“And if I would have said no you wouldn’t have let me be until I said yes so...” Santana turned now and looked at her friend with a little smirk. “I decided to cut the snake off at the head and just say yes the first time.”

 

“Sneaky” Rachel laughed and got off the bed now. She went over to her friend and fixed her hair. She pulled some of it forward, tucked some behind her ear, and fluffed the ends a little. “You are learning.”

 

“Learning?” Santana said with a laugh, waiting until Rachel was done preening her before turning and reaching for her deodorant. “Please, I’ve had you figured out for years. I just play dumb to get under your skin.”

 

“Oh, alright” Rachel nodded with a smirk. She didn’t believe a word she said. But she would play along for now. “Either way, I am grateful you are at least trying tonight.”

 

Santana let out a heavy sigh and looked back at her friend “Tell me again why it is that I have to go on a blind date and you get to stay home? It’s not like you’re hooking up on the regular, either.”

 

“At least I’ve been trying. I go to Callbacks. I go to coffee with classmates. You just go to work and home. You know how many times I’ve come home on Friday night to find you already asleep? That is not the Santana Lopez I know!”

 

Santana rolled her eyes and moved passed Rachel and out into the living room area now. She reached for her little clutch purse and tossed her phone in before looking back at her friend “I’m in a funk, okay? I haven’t met anyone I’ve liked like that since Dani.”

 

“I know” Rachel shrugged and gave her friend a soft smile “So I am just trying to help.”

 

Santana rolled her eyes and nodded. She checked the time then lifted her eyes to look at Rachel with a shrug “How did you meet her again?”

 

“We met when I was volunteering at the shelter. We were both assigned dog walkers. We got to talking, had a lot in common, and just kind of hit it off. I think you’ll like her. She is sweet and funny and really down to Earth. She is a little shy at first but once you get her talking she can light up a room.”

 

“Then why don’t you date her?” Santana huffed.

 

“Funny” Rachel folded her arms then looked at the clock. “She should be here any moment.”

 

As if on cue there was a knock at the door. Rachel lit up and moved to answer the door but stopped. She turned and looked at Santana “Actually, you should get it.” She beamed then moved to sit on the couch so she could act casual and not like she was jumping for joy about her two friends going on a date.

 

Santana rolled her eyes and went to the door. She slid it open and her jaw dropped instantly. She blinked softly and took a step back “Emily? What are you doing here?”

 

“Surprise!” Emily Fields smiled into the loft as her eyes fell on Santana. She took a few steps into the loft and shrugged a bit “I hope this isn’t a bad time?”

 

“No, not at all” Santana said with a soft, surprised laugh. “What are you doing here?”

 

“Who is this?” Rachel had stood from the couch and was looking at the new arrival. This was not her friend that she had set Santana up with!

 

“This is my cousin” Santana motioned to the girl and smiled.

 

“I saved up all year so I could come to New York for a visit. I know I should have called, or texted, or something, but I wanted to surprise you” Emily looked at her cousin then to Rachel, who looked a little confused, then back to Santana and frowned “Don’t worry, I found a hotel. I wasn’t going to just barge in here and assume I could stay.”

 

“Nonsense!” Santana said with a laugh and motioned to the couch “We have plenty of room.”

 

“Santana” Rachel perked an eyebrow and tried to smile politely as she motioned with her head that she wanted to talk to her in private. She waited until they stepped away toward Santana’s room and shook her head “Don’t you think we should talk about this? How long is she staying?”

 

“Rach” Santana smiled and put her hand on her shoulder “She’s family. We have a couch. I’m sure you won’t even notice she’s here.”

 

Rachel looked over Santana’s shoulder to the girl who was now standing there awkwardly. She let out a little sigh and nodded “Okay, you’re right. But just not too long, okay?”

 

“Deal” Santana pulled Rachel into a hug then turned to head back to her cousin. “Alright, kid, make yourself at home.”

 

“I’ve got to go tell my cab that I’m staying here” Emily nodded and pointed over her shoulder. “I’ll go grab my bag and be right back up.”

 

“Hurry” Santana said, giving her cousin a wave. Once she was gone, Santana grinned and looked at Rachel “This is so cool. I haven’t seen her in years! We are gonna have a blast.”

 

Emily was bouncing on her toes as she waited for the elevator to open. She couldn’t wait to spend some time with her favorite cousin in New York! As soon as the door gave a ding and opened, she rushed in. She was a little too excited and didn’t notice the girl stepping off. She ran right into her shoulder with a force that caused her to half turn and stumble backwards.

 

“Woah” Paige said with a laugh, reaching out to catch Emily by the arm before the girl completely fell. She held her tightly until she was sure she was steady then lifted her eyes to meet Emily’s face. Their eyes met and Paige’s breath caught in her throat. She bit at her bottom lip and gave her a soft, shy smile “Are you alright?”

 

Emily just nodded quickly. She was a little too caught up by Paige’s warm brown eyes to speak. She blushed very lightly and gently bit at her bottom lip. A hand came out to smooth over her shirt and finally she cleared her throat “Yeah. Sorry about that.”

 

“No problem” Paige said softly, still holding her little half smile as her hand slowly slid off of Emily’s arm. “Be careful next time.”

 

“Yeah” Emily whispered, tucking some hair behind her ear and returning the smile.

 

“Have a nice night” Paige nodded, licking her lips as she watched the girl in the elevator until the doors closed, taking her from view. Paige smirked and shook her head before slowly turning around and continuing to where she was going before she had been bumped into.

 

Emily was fighting a huge grin as she leaned into the wall of the elevator and waited to hit the ground floor. She had her arms wrapped around herself as she replayed what had just happened in the elevator. New York was so cool.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Santana let out a soft sigh and looked around. The restaurant they were sitting in was pretty busy which meant Santana had a lot of people to watch instead of actually paying attention to her date. Which made it super awkward because they were sitting there not talking.

 

Paige perked an eyebrow and tapped her fingers on her cup where she held it. She watched Santana look around and wondered what she was thinking. Things weren’t going that horribly, were they? It was normal first date jitters and awkwardness. She cleared her throat and offered a smile “So Rachel tells me you sing for work?”

 

Santana shook her head and looked across the table at Paige. “I work where part of the job description is singing. It’s not as glorified as she might have led on. I am a singing waitress.”

 

“That’s cool” Paige said with a smile. “I mean, I am sure it’s a real draw for people. I know I’ve never had my server perform a song for me.”

 

Santana let out a a soft laugh “You’d be surprised at how many people complain that they had to wait longer for their soup because we had to sing instead.”

 

“Well that’s just silly. They came to a place where singing staff is part of the allure. What makes them think they have the right to complain about that?” Paige smiled and took a little drink.

 

“They are just assholes who want it their way or no way at all” Santana shrugged and looked down at her drink. The water sat there untouched. The ice was starting to melt. She reached out and slid her finger over the condensation then looked back to Paige “So Rachel said you swim?”

 

Paige nodded quickly and lit up at the mention of it. “I do. I have been swimming since I was eight. I got a scholarship for a school here in New York and went for it, you know? It’s been such a crazy whirlwind compared to where I grew up.”

 

“Where was that?” Santana asked, finally reaching for her cup to take a drink.

 

“Rosewood. It’s a small town in Pennsylvania. There are like three stoplights” Paige laughed and glanced around “It was definitely a culture shock moving here.”

 

“I know what you mean” Santana smiled. Maybe this date wouldn’t be a complete bust. “Lima was pretty small too. I love it here. New York is just...” She shrugged and let out a happy sigh “my type of place.” She glanced at Paige and shrugged “How are you liking it?”

 

“It’s still pretty scary” Paige admitted with a nod. “I’ve been here just about a year now and I still can’t take the subway without having a panic attack about getting lost.” She laughed very softly and shrugged “But I am warming up to it.”

 

Santana nodded and took another drink “I’m sure you’ll get used to it soon.”

 

Paige offered her a sweet smile “At least I’m finally meeting nice people.”

 

Santana nodded and looked back at her drink. Nice people? She was going to be eaten alive if that’s what she was looking for. She hoped Paige didn’t think she was one of these nice people. She wasn’t. She was a hardened New Yorker, damn it!

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“I wonder if they are having fun” Rachel said softly, her eyes shifting from the tv to the door and back again. It was still early but if Santana had hated the girl she would have been home by now, right?

 

“I feel so bad crashing in on you two without warning. I almost ruined her date” Emily frowned then glanced at Rachel with a little smile. “I’m glad she still went.”

 

“Me too” Rachel said with a nod. She looked over at the girl slowly then set down the remote. “So you live in Lima?” An eyebrow perked on her head as she tried to casually get a peek into Santana’s past.

 

“No” Emily shook her head quickly. “Close, though. Santana was the closest female cousin I had growing up. We probably spent at least one weekend a month at each others house. Neither of us have siblings so it was kind of like having a sister.”

 

Rachel nodded a bit and turned on the couch now to face her a little better. “And you are younger?”

 

“Yeah” Emily nodded with a smile. “I just finished my first year of college.”

 

Rachel smiled softly and folded her hands into her lap. So she was two years younger than Santana. Not bad. “I’m sorry for the questions it’s just that...” She let out a laugh and shrugged “I had no idea Santana had a cousin she was so close to.”

 

“Well we grew apart when high school came around.” Emily frowned a little and looked at her hands. She shrugged and let out a sigh “She got busy and was too cool for her cousin who was still in middle school, you know? Then when I finally hit high school, she was a junior and a cheerleader and had lots of friends. So, you know, we didn’t spend the night at each others house anymore.” She looked up at Rachel and smiled “It’s okay. We still talked a lot but we just didn’t visit as often.”

 

Rachel nodded slowly and smiled. This was such a treat. It was like seeing who Santana was before they met in high school without risking being snapped at by Santana for asking questions about her past. A past which she talked around or changed the subject from when it was brought up. “Well I am glad you are here, then. Maybe I can get to know what Santana was like before the cheerleading and popularity.”

 

“Oh she’s always been popular” Emily said with a laugh. “She can befriend anyone, or at least make them think she wants to be friends. She used to sweet talk the boys at the mall and get them to buy us ice cream then say we had to leave and go home.” She bit her lip, smirking at the memory. “She got us a lot of free things.”

 

“I can only imagine” Rachel said with a laugh. She got up now and motioned to the kitchen “I am going to make some tea, would you like some?”

 

“Yes, please!” Emily turned and watched Rachel walk across the the kitchen.

 

“You know” Rachel spoke a little louder so Emily could hear her across the loft. “I am still surprised I’ve never heard about you. The way you speak about her I feel like Santana would have mentioned her sweet little cousin at least once through the years I’ve known her.”

 

“I’ve heard of you” Emily said with a little grin.

 

Rachel let out a laugh and filled the teapot. “I am sure you have” She nodded, moving the pot to the stove and turning on the burner to start heating it. “I am sure she has complained about me many a time.”

 

“Not really” Emily said with a little shrug.

 

“No?” Rachel was intrigued at that answer. She turned to look at Emily as her hip leaned against the counter “What has she told you, then?”

 

Emily shrugged and tried to fight the smirk she felt rising on her lips. She wasn’t sure what she should say. She was so interested in getting to know the girl that her cousin spoke so highly of but she also knew that the way Santana spoke of her wasn’t a way she spoke of anyone so she wasn’t sure telling Rachel would be right. “She just tells me how much fun she has with you.”

 

“Fun?” Rachel perked an eyebrow. “With me?”

 

Emily nodded quickly. Sure, that sounded believable, right? “She might not tell you but she really does like living with you.”

 

“Is that so?” Rachel turned when the pot started to whistle and lifted it off the heat. She thought about the new information that she had just received while she carefully poured the hot water into two cups. She gently picked up the cups and moved back across the loft, handing one to Emily before sitting back on the couch with her own. “Well then next time she complains about me being the worst roommate ever because I actually wake her up on time, I am going to tell her I know she appreciates it.”

 

Emily smiled and gave a little nod. “She will deny it” She said softly before looking at her tea to stir it. It was quiet for a moment while both girls worked to steep their tea bags in the hot water. When Emily looked up again she caught Rachel studying her tea and smiled softly. She definitely got what her cousin saw in her. “You’re very pretty” She said softly.

 

Rachel looked a little surprised at that. When she saw Emily’s eyes on her, she blushed and looked back down. She bit her lip and shrugged “That is very kind of you to say.”

 

Emily just smiled and blew on her tea. Rachel was the exact opposite of everything Santana had ever said she looked for in a girlfriend and yet every time she called Emily to talk, the only thing she would ever talk about was Rachel. Emily knew her cousin well enough to know when she had a crush. And now, being face to face with Rachel, she understood so clearly why her cousin adored her.

 

Noticing a bit of an awkward silence had fallen between them, Rachel cleared her throat and looked up. She gave the girl a smile and a nod “I am glad you came to visit. I will do my best to make sure you have the real New York experience. Have you ever been here before?”

 

“No” Emily shook her head quickly. “I have been saving up for a trip here ever since Santana moved here. She said I could visit anytime I wanted. I guess she didn’t think I would take her seriously.”

 

Rachel let out a soft laugh “Well I am glad you did. You are so sweet. Did you come straight from the airport? Did you get to experience anything yet?”

 

“Not yet” Emily said with a shrug “But when I was on my way back down to the cab to get my bag I ran into a really cute girl.”

 

Rachel perked an eyebrow and smiled “Oh?”

 

Emily blushed a little and nodded “The people here are all so beautiful. But this girl was...” She let out a breath of a laugh and nodded “Wow. Too bad there are so many people here. I will probably never see her again.”

 

“Well that’s okay” Rachel reached over and patted her hand lightly. “I will make sure you see all the cute girls you can handle, okay? You won’t leave New York until you get your fill.”

 

The loft door broke the peaceful conversation they had fallen into. It clanked open with a slam and Santana let out a sigh as she walked in, her heels echoing around the loft with each step she took.

 

“You’re back!” Rachel perked up and smiled at her friend as she set down her tea. “How was it?”

 

“Fine” Santana mumbled and dropped her clutch. She paused when she saw her friend and cousin facing each other on the couch and perked an eyebrow “Did I interrupt a moment?”

 

“Not at all” Rachel stood and let out a laugh “We were just talking. I was just asking Emily here what it was she wanted to do and see while she is here!”

 

“That cab driver was rude” Paige walked through the still open loft door, pointing over her shoulder. “I asked him to stay for like five minutes while I walked you up and he nearly tore my arm off driving away so fast.” Paige paused when she realized all the girls were staring at her. She had totally forgotten Rachel lived with Santana. She bit her lip and her eyes shifted from her friend to, wait, was that the girl from the elevator. “Oh” She breathed out softly “Um, hey.”

 

“Paige!” Rachel bounced over to her friend and gave her a tight hug. “I am so glad you came up! Now I don’t have to wait until tomorrow to hear about your date. How was it?”

 

“Fine” Paige echoed Santana’s sentiments as her eyes lingered on Emily. She offered the girl a soft smile which made Emily quickly drop her head and look away. She bit her lip and finally blinked and looked to her friend “I was totally just gonna walk her up here, no funny business, I promise.”

 

“Oh it would be okay if there was funny business” Rachel said with a hopeful grin.

 

“No” Santana, who had disappeared into her room to change, now reappeared in sweats and a hoodie. She looked at Paige, who looked a little offended she was out of her date clothes so fast, and shrugged “Sorry, but no funny business.”

 

“Because your cousin is here?” Rachel asked softly and glanced at Emily.

 

“Because” Santana looked at her cousin, then to Paige, then to Rachel, and rolled her eyes. She didn’t want to say it was because there was no chemistry between her and Paige, that was a little too rude. So she just nodded and sighed “Yeah, because Em is here. I’d like to just call it a night and hang out with my cousin.”

 

“That’s totally fine” Paige said with a quick nod. She hadn’t wanted any funny business either. Santana was hot, sure, but that was about it. At least for her. She was sure she was a great person but they just didn’t have that spark. So she was glad to hear nothing more was expected from her.

 

Emily smiled at Paige after getting the courage to look back up at her. She bit at her lip and cleared her throat “You don’t have to go right away, do you? You should stay. I want to hear about the date.”

 

Santana groaned, pulled her hood over her head, and sunk down into the couch as if she was trying to slide between the cushions and disappear forever.

 

Paige met Emily’s eyes and smiled very softly. She held her gaze and shrugged “I think maybe tomorrow might be better.”

 

Rachel nodded quickly “I agree.” She could see that Santana was done. Santana was fighting being rude so Rachel decided it was best for everyone to just call it a day. “How about” She turned to Paige and grinned “You and I get lunch tomorrow. I will bring Emily since she has never been to the city. You can tell us both about the date, since Santana doesn’t ever kiss and tell.”

 

“There was no kissing” Santana rolled her head back on the couch with a grunt.

 

“And then we can show Emily around. You were new here very recently, I think you showing her all your favorite things to discover could be fun!” Rachel continued, ignoring Santana’s unsubtle groans of discontent. “Santana works in the morning anyway so we would just be sitting around the house waiting for her to get home. Why not take a little tour of the city and make a new friend?”

 

“Sounds good” Paige said quickly, her eyes still on Emily.

 

Emily blushed and looked down but gave a quick nod too. “I’d like that.”

 

“Great!” Rachel said with a giggle and gave Paige a quick hug. “I will call you in the morning, okay!”

 

“Sure” Paige returned the hug then looked back at Emily. She offered her a soft half smile then looked down at her feet for a moment “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then, Emily.”

 

“See you” Emily lifted her hand and gave a shy wave.

 

Paige nodded and took a few steps backwards, eyes still on Emily, until she reached the loft door and finally turned around. She stepped through it then gave it a pull to slide it closed. A smirk came to her lips and her head shook as she made her way to the elevator. What were the chances that elevator girl would be her blind date’s cousin. For being such a huge city, New York sure felt like a small world.

 

Rachel turned and frowned at Santana now that Paige was gone. “Did you have to be so rude!?”

 

“I didn’t say anything!” Santana threw her hands up and looked over at Rachel. “I didn’t ask her to follow me up! I didn’t know she would be out here after I changed.”

 

Rachel huffed and went over to her friend. She grabbed the strings on her hoodie and pulled them until they closed the material of the hood around Santana’s face tightly. “You could have at least pretended you had a good time while she was standing here!”

 

“Why?” Santana swatted blindly at Rachel and sat up. She grunted as she tugged at the hood and ripped it off her head. She scowled at her friend and rolled her eyes “We both knew the date was a bust. The only thing I said was there was no kissing. I didn’t want you to get the wrong idea.”

 

Rachel just rolled her eyes and dropped to the couch between Santana and Emily with a huff. She picked up her tea again and took a sip. “You are impossible. No girl will ever live up to your standards. You are going to be alone forever.”

 

“Fine by me” Santana mumbled and grabbed the remote off the table. She flipped through a few channels before her eyes looked over at her cousin. She perked an eyebrow and shook her head “You’re quiet over there, kid.”

 

“Just watching” Emily said with a smile. Truthfully she had been thinking about Paige. She couldn’t believe that the beautiful girl she had run into on the elevator had been her cousin’s blind date. She felt bad that she was glad their date had been awful. But Santana didn’t seem too torn up about it so maybe it was okay to be glad.

 

“Watching what?” Santana looked to the tv now with a shrug. Nothing particularly interesting was on.

 

“You two” Emily said with a smirk, pointing between her cousin and Rachel.

 

Both girls looked at each other, then to Emily, and perked an eyebrow in unison.

 

Emily smirked and rolled her eyes “It was just funny. I’ve never seen anyone get away with scolding you like that, San.”

 

“She didn’t scold me” Santana folded her arms with a huff.

 

Rachel smirked and looked at Santana with a nod “I kind of did.”

 

“Shut up!” Santana rolled her eyes and hit her with a nearby throw pillow.

 

Rachel squeaked and tried to block the pillow. “Rude!”

 

Emily laughed and nodded her head “This is exactly what I was watching.”

 

“Shut up” Santana tossed the pillow at her cousin with a laugh.

 

The girls all kind of laughed then slowly settled back onto the couch. Santana flipped through the channels, Rachel dictated which channels she wanted to watch, and Emily just watched the girls. Paige was the last thing on her mind as she watched her cousin with Rachel. There was no denying their chemistry. Now she just had to find a way to make them both realize it, too. But how?

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Rachel and Emily were walking briskly down the sidewalk the next day. The sun was out, people were pushing and shoving all around, and Emily’s eyes were flickering here and there. She couldn’t believe she was actually walking around New York. It was so exciting. She wished she could be spending the day with Santana, but she understood she had to work. Plus she had promised it would be just the two of them that night so that was something to look forward to.

 

“Right here” Rachel said with a smile, reaching out to grab Emily to stop her from walking past their stop. She reached for a door and pulled it open, motioning for the girl to go inside before following behind her.

 

Paige was already waiting at a table and gave them a wave when they walked in. Rachel squeaked and went right over. Emily bit her lip and tried to fight the smile coming to her face. Paige was even cuter in the daylight.

 

“Okay, so” Rachel plopped into the booth across from her friend, wasting no time at all. “Apparently there’s not a lot to tell, but still. I wanna hear it all.”

 

“Hello to you too, Rachel” Paige said with a soft laugh. Her eyes then shifted to fall on Emily and her smile softened. She bit her lip and looked the girl over “Hey, Em.”

 

“Hi” Emily said shyly and grabbed for her menu.

 

Paige smirked which was hidden by her menu but her eyes were still on the girl. That was until Rachel demanded her attention.

 

“Paige” Rachel snapped her fingers and looked at her friend. When she finally looked over, Rachel grinned “Hi, hello. Are you gonna spill or what?”

 

“This is awkward” Paige said with a roll of her eyes before looking at her menu.

 

“Why is it awkward?” Rachel shrugged and looked down to the menu as well.

 

Paige wanted to say it was awkward because she was talking about a date with another girl when there was a girl sitting across from her that had caught her attention. She wanted to say it made it super awkward that the girl sitting across from her was the cousin of the girl she had been on a date with the night before. But instead she sighed “Because she is your best friend. I don’t want you taking sides.”

 

“Please” Rachel laughed softly “There are no sides. Santana knows no matter how many bad dates I set her up on I still love her. She just never talks to me about them. I have the rare luxury of hearing how it went from the other side!”

 

Paige shook her head and glanced at Emily. Emily had been staring at Paige but quickly looked away when Paige looked over. Paige smiled at this then looked back at her menu. “Fine, okay. As long as it’s not gonna be awkward at home for you.”

 

“Never” Rachel beamed. “Now spill.”

 

The server dropped off some waters and took the girl’s order before disappearing again. This had given Paige time to think of how she wanted to word what she was going to say. Once everyone was settled back again, and Rachel was staring at Paige in anticipation, Paige let out a sigh and picked at her nail polish as she spoke “We didn’t really have a lot to talk about. Anytime I tried, she kinda of got a snotty attitude about stuff and just treated everything like a joke. She was clearly not even interested in trying.”

 

Rachel rolled her eyes and took a drink from her water. “Typical” She mumbled then looked at Emily with a shake of her head “Don’t ever become her. I know you two are close but you gotta be the good sister, alright?”

 

Paige almost choked on her drink. She sputtered and coughed and when both girls looked at her in surprise, she shook her head and wiped her mouth before clearing her throat “Sisters? I thought you were cousins?”

 

“We are” Emily said quickly. “I told Rachel last night that we used to be like sisters when we were younger. We aren’t, though. Just cousins” She gave a wide smile, maybe a little too wide, and nodded.

 

“Oh” Paige let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding and laughed softly. She sure felt stupid. “I misunderstood” She mumbled shyly and looked down at her nail polish again.

 

Emily smiled very softly. For some reason she had a feeling Paige didn’t like the idea of them being sisters because of, well, the fact that you don’t date an ex’s sister. Not like Santana and Paige technically dated. It was one date. Wait, it wasn’t like Paige was thinking about dating her. Emily shook her head to herself and looked at her water. She had to stop thinking things like that.

 

“Well I am sorry” Rachel finally said with a shrug. “I have been trying to get her to get out and meet new people but it’s impossible. She is content to just sit at home on a Friday night. It makes her grumpy. Every time I come home late she chews me out and makes a snarky comment about me being a lady of the night or something much more colorful.”

 

Paige frowned. That sounded awful. “Why are you friends with her?”

 

“She’s a good person. She means well.” Rachel looked up at Paige and gave her a sincere smile. “She has a good heart. But when she cares, she yells. She’s not very good at conveying her emotions. I think she just worries about me. I am kind of tiny and not at all a physical threat.”

 

Emily smiled to herself. She was almost positive that the reason Santana chewed her out when she got home was because she was jealous of whoever she had been with and not because she thought Rachel was at risk of being mugged.

 

Paige just nodded. She glanced over at Emily and saw the girl smiling. This made her smile too and she took a moment to just look at the girl. She could definitely see the resemblance to Santana. There was no doubt they were family. But if she was being honest, Emily was way more stunning than Santana.

 

Paige was interrupted when the food came. It was passed out and all the girls settled in for their meal. There was light chit chat the rest of the meal but they avoided the subject of Santana. There was nothing left to talk about, at least as far as Rachel and Paige saw it. Emily, on the other hand, couldn’t wait to see her cousin that night. She was going to get the truth out of her. But first, a day with Paige. That’s where she was focusing now.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“And this is Central Park” Paige said with a grin as she motioned around where the three of them stood. After lunch they had embarked on a tour of the city with Paige as the tour guide. Rachel had lived there three years but Paige was still fresh so Rachel let her lead the way figuring Paige could show Emily all the exciting things she discovered recently and not be bored.

 

“This place is so cool” Emily said with a nod as she looked around. “I mean I’ve been to a big city before but nothing like this. There really is an energy here unlike anywhere else. I can see why Santana loves it here.”

 

Rachel was about to chime in when she felt her pocket vibrate. She pulled out her phone and let out a laugh “Speak of the devil” She motioned to the phone and shook her head “She is probably calling to make sure we haven’t killed you yet. I’ll be right back.”

 

“Take your time” Paige said with a laugh before looking at Emily with a nod “We are going to take in the scenery.”

 

Rachel nodded and stepped away from the girls before putting the phone to her ear and rolling her eyes “Santana, really?”

 

“I had some free time” Santana said with a roll of her eyes that was audible in her tone. “How are things going?”

 

“Fine” Rachel laughed softly. “You remember when you moved here and I showed you around?”

 

“Of course I do. That’s why I’m worried she will get so bored she will run back home to Ohio crying her eyes out.”

 

“Funny” Rachel shook her head. “She’s having a great time.”

 

“How do you know?” Santana wasn’t really too worried but she did want to make sure she was having a good time.

 

Rachel let out a laugh and turned around to where she had left the girls. She bit her lip as she watched Paige lean in and touch at Emily’s face lightly.

 

“Hold on, hold on” Paige whispered, smiling as she cupped Emily’s face with one hand as the other reached out to touch her other cheek. She touched gently then laughed as she pulled back her finger and held up the tiny eyelash. “Make a wish and blow it away.”

 

Emily had blushed brightly when Paige had touched her and now she was trying to focus on the eyelash and not the fact that their faces were way too close. She bit her lip and her eyes flickered to meet Paige’s before she nodded and drew in a deep breath. She licked her lips, her eyes flickering to Paige’s lips for a moment, before she looked back at the eyelash and let out a breath to blow it away.

 

“Rachel” Santana hissed sharply into her ear. “Berry? Did I lose you?”

 

“No” Rachel said with a smile on her lips. She had watched the entire exchange and couldn’t stop smiling. “Sorry I got distracted.”

 

Santana let out a heavy sigh “I don’t have time. I just want to make sure Em is having a good time.”

 

Emily and Paige were laughing now about something. Paige’s hand was on Emily’s back and they were leaning into each other a bit. Rachel let out a soft laugh and nodded into the phone “She is having a blast, San. I promise. We will see you tonight, okay?”

 

“Yeah, whatever” Santana let out another sigh “I gotta go.”

 

“Have a good rest of the day” Rachel nodded and pulled the phone away from her ear. She tucked it back in her pocket then folded her arms as she watched the two girls together. That’s when it all started to boil in her mind. Maybe Santana was the wrong cousin for Paige. She nodded at the decision she had just made and grinned. She was going to see just how well these two got along.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“Alright kid, you ready for this?” Santana glanced back at Emily with a smile before looking back to what she was doing. She was hunched over a small fire pit that Rachel and herself had invested in a year earlier. They were on the roof of their building and the sun was just starting to set over the city.

 

“Ready for what exactly?” Emily asked with a laugh from where she sat watching Santana.

 

“Smores and girl talk, obviously” Santana laughed and lit some of the paper in hopes of getting the flames roaring.

 

Emily couldn’t fight the bright smile that came to her lips at the mention of what Santana had planned. They used to camp outside during the summers together and do the exact same thing. She couldn’t believe Santana remembered. It had been years. “We aren’t sleeping out here, are we?”

 

“Oh god no” Santana said with a laugh, standing up and brushing off her hands as she watched the tiny flames start to burn. “I mean I love the view from up here but there is no way in Hell I trust we won’t get mugged even on top of a building like this.”

 

“Really?” Emily frowned and looked around suspiciously now.

 

Santana shrugged and moved over to where Emily was sitting. She gave her a smile and sat on the other lawn chair that Rachel and herself had brought up to sit on. “I don’t know. I don’t wanna risk it.” She reached into the bag she had brought up and started pulling out everything they needed to make smores. “So” She looked at her cousin and smiled “Did you have fun today?”

 

“I had such a blast” Emily nodded quickly, starting to unwrap the chocolate that Santana had pulled out. “This city is so amazing. Everything is so busy. There is always a buzz around and Central Park was so beautiful!”

 

Santana nodded and handed Emily one of the pokers to cook marshmallows on. “I love Central Park. Did Rachel take you through it all?”

 

Emily nodded, sliding a marshmallow on to her stick “Between her and Paige I think I saw all of the secret spots there are to see here.”

 

Santana let out a laugh and moved to the edge of her chair, stretching her stick out over the flames. “You weren’t too bored with those two?”

 

“Not at all” Emily glanced at her cousin with a little smirk before looking at the fire and holding her stick out as well. “Rachel is something else. She’s nice and funny and very sweet. She loves this place you can tell by the way she talks about it.”

 

Santana nodded and gave half a shrug “She talks a lot, doesn’t she?”

 

Emily let out a soft laugh “I didn’t mind. She had a lot of interesting information.”

 

Santana pulled her stick back and blew out the flame that had engulfed her marshmallow. She glanced to Emily with a knowing smile “She has interesting information about everything. That’s why she talks so much.”

 

“Does it bug you?” Emily asked carefully, wanting to broach the subject but in a way that wouldn’t annoy Santana.

 

Santana just shrugged. She was too busy focusing on building her smore and didn’t notice the way Emily glanced at her. “I’m used to it. I’m pretty good at blocking it out by now.”

 

Emily nodded and looked back to the fire. She pulled her stick out and inspected her marshmallow before deciding it needed more time. When she turned to look at Santana she saw her cousin had dug into her smore and had marshmallow on her chin. She let out a soft laugh and offered her a napkin “Good to see you’re still as big of a pig as you were when you were younger.”

 

“I’m not a pig” Santana huffed and snatched the napkin from her. “I’m a slob, there is a difference” She opened her mouth and showed off the chewed food before laughing and wiping at her chin.

 

“Charming” Emily said with a roll of her eyes “No wonder you’re single.”

 

“Rude” Santana crumbled up the napkin and tossed it at Emily with a laugh. “For your information I choose to be single.”

 

“Mhm” Emily pulled her marshmallow out and decided it was done now. She turned and reached for the other ingredients she needed, glancing at Santana as she pushed a little further. “Maybe you think you are choosing to be single when really you’re just afraid to go after what you really want?”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Santana arched an eyebrow and looked at her cousin curiously.

 

Emily just shrugged and shook her head “Forget it.”

 

“No, hold up” Santana scooted to the side of her chair and nudged Emily’s knees with her own “What do you mean by what you just said?”

 

“Nothing” Emily breathed out in a sigh. She concentrated on putting the pieces together for her smore. When she looked up she saw Santana staring at her and rolled her eyes slightly “Maybe I’m out of line but have you ever thought that maybe you don’t wanna find someone new because you’ve already found someone?”

 

Santana let out a huff of a laugh and shook her head “Oh yeah? And who would that be? I hope you’re not talking about Brittany or Dani because I have moved on from both of them.”

 

“Not them” Emily said with a shrug as she bit into her smore. She licked over her lips and reached for a napkin. She deliberately chewed slowly in hopes that her silence would get Santana to decide to change the subject but when that didn’t happen, she let out a sigh. “Have you ever considered Rachel?”

 

“What about Rachel?” Santana reached for a marshmallow and stuffed it in her mouth without toasting it.

 

Emily rolled her eyes and shook her head “Nevermind, it’s stupid.”

 

“Wait” Santana held up her hand and perked an eyebrow at her cousin. She let out a soft laugh and pointed over her shoulder to the door that lead into their building “Are you saying that I don’t date anyone because of Rachel? Like I have some secret crush on her and I’m waiting for the day she realizes it?”

 

“No” Emily shook her head quickly. When Santana stared at her with her intense unbelieving eyes, Emily let out a sigh and nodded “Yeah, fine. That’s exactly what I was saying.”

 

“You’re crazy” Santana let out a laugh. She shook her head and looked down at the bag of marshmallows. She thought about it for a moment then let out another laugh, this one a bit more hearty than the first. She looked up at her cousin and grinned ear to ear, her head shaking again before she was completely consumed by laughter.

 

Emily frowned and looked down feeling completely ridiculous now. Maybe she had been wrong. Maybe the way Santana spoke about Rachel and the way they acted with each other was just a coincidence. Maybe they really were just that close of friends.

 

Santana chuckled for a good minute or two before lifting a hand to her eye to wipe at a tear. She drew in a few slow breaths as her laughter died down and her eyes focused on Emily again “Oh my god I needed that laugh, thank you.”

 

“Sure” Emily shrugged and let out a sigh. She stood now from her chair and wrapped her arms around herself “Is it alright if I call it a night? I think all the excitement of the day is catching up with me.”

 

“Sure” Santana waved her off and looked at the fire. “I will put this out and be right in. Make yourself at home.”

 

Emily nodded and turned to leave as soon as she could. Now it was just going to be awkward being around Santana. Why did she have to open her big mouth?

 

Santana watched her leave before shaking her head and looking back at the fire. She let out a soft breath of a laugh and smirked to herself “Rachel” she whispered, an amused grin spreading over her lips. She got up and started to put out the fire, giggling to herself every now and then. Emily was nuts. Rachel Berry was the last person she would ever consider dating. She let out a happy sigh and smiled to herself as the flames died down. Then as she turned to leave she stopped and her brow creased in thought. Emily was crazy, right? Suddenly Santana got warm and her gut twisted. There was no way she had a crush on Rachel, right? That was just insane! Santana shook off the thought and headed inside. She just had to keep telling herself that Emily was crazy. There was no way she liked Rachel Berry.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	2. Not a date but a happy coincidence

“Santana” A soft voice broke into Santana’s dream somewhere in the distance. It seemed familiar but she wasn’t sure just where it was coming from. She couldn’t pin down exactly who was speaking to her.

 

“Santana” The voice got a little louder and Santana groaned now when she realized the voice was pulling her from sleep. She let out a sigh and rolled over in bed now as the sleep faded and real life surrounded her. Her arm reached out and she pulled the pillow over her head “Go away.”

 

“Santana” The voice hit her ears more clearly now but still in a very soft whisper. As sleep faded from Santana’s body she remembered now that Emily had come to visit and had crashed with her in bed that night. She let out a yawn then moved the pillow off her head “Em, what do you want? I’m sleeping.”

 

Rachel rolled her eyes at that and let out a laugh. She slipped up under the blankets next to Santana and laid on her side facing her sleeping friend “San, it’s Rachel.”

 

Santana’s eyes snapped open and her head turned toward the girl next to her in bed. She blinked a few times until her eyes adjusted before letting out a yawn then mumbling to her “What the Hell are you doing in bed with me?”

 

Rachel shrugged and pulled the blanket over her shoulder “I needed to talk to you so I thought I’d come lay with you. It’s a safer bet then trying to just wake you up and get a full conversation out of you before you’re fully awake.”

 

Santana rolled to her back now and glanced over at Rachel. The words from Emily echoed in her head at that moment and she suddenly felt really uncomfortable in her own bed. She did not want Rachel laying with her right now. “Well how about you just go make some coffee and let me wake up and get out of bed? I’m kind of...” She pulled the covers around herself tightly even though she was wearing shorts and a tank top “exposed.”

 

“Oh please” Rachel waved her off before sitting up in bed now and reaching for the bedside table. “I have seen you in a towel more times than I can count” She smiled and turned back toward Santana, holding out the coffee she had brought into the bedroom with her.

 

Santana eyed Rachel carefully. Part of her wanted to just sit up, take the coffee, and talk to her friend. The other part of her felt really awkward. Damn it, why did Emily have to go and say that about Rachel? Now she had no idea how to act! She didn’t want Rachel to suddenly start thinking Santana wanted her too because they were a little too friendly.

 

Rachel perked an eyebrow and motioned with the coffee again “You alright?”

 

Santana blinked and shook her head a bit. She pushed the thoughts out of her mind and sat up. Just act natural. “Sorry, still half asleep” She mumbled before taking the coffee and lifting it to her mouth.

 

Rachel nodded slowly but kept her eyes on her friend in search of anything that might hint at what had just been going on in her friend’s mind. “Anyway” She said with a smile and grabbed her tea that she had brought into the room too and settled her back against the pillows that she had propped herself up against. “So, I was thinking about Emily and I really think that her and Paige would make a cute couple...”

 

Santana groaned into her cup and shook her head as she swallowed the coffee in her mouth “Rachel, no.”

 

“Why not?” Rachel said with a shrug before blowing on her tea.

 

“Because” Santana waved her hand to the side and shook her head again. “That’s weird. I went on a date with Paige. She doesn’t want my sloppy seconds.”

 

“Okay first of all that’s a gross term” Rachel held up her finger to stop Santana from continuing. “Secondly, you hardly went on a date. You barely talked, barely ate, and came home before ten. You didn’t kiss so none of the so called seconds would be sloppy” She shuddered at the term and shook her head. “Besides, I think Emily really likes her.”

 

Santana rolled her eyes and blew on her coffee again “What’s with everyone thinking they know who people like all of the sudden?”

 

“What?” Rachel arched an eyebrow at her friend.

 

Santana felt her stomach twist. Oops, she shouldn’t have said that. She just played it off with another wave of her hand “Rachel, I don’t think it’s a good idea. Besides, Emily isn’t staying long. She has to go back to Ohio, go back to college, and Paige has her swimming stuff here. Are you trying to tell me that there is going to be some grand proclamation of love between them and one of them is going to pick up their life to be with the other?”

 

“No” Rachel frowned and looked into her tea where it was resting between her hands on her lap. “I just thought that they could go out, get to know each other, and maybe have a little fun. I mean you want Emily to enjoy her time here, right? You and I are both pretty busy people. At least if she was hanging out with Paige she would have one more person to occupy her time so she didn’t have to sit around here bored.”

 

Santana let out a sigh and finally looked over at her friend next to her in bed. That was still weird. Rachel had crawled into bed with her before, and she with Rachel for that matter, but now Santana was way too hyper sensitive about her own actions and how weird it was to be in bed with Rachel. Damn it, Emily! 

 

“San?” Rachel noticed her friend just kind of staring at her and reached out to touch her shoulder “Are you alright? You keep like, I don’t know, going somewhere else. What’s on your mind?”

 

“Nothing” Santana said a little too quickly. She cleared her throat and looked back at her coffee. “I don’t care if they hang out. But I don’t want you setting them up on a date. What if it doesn’t work and Emily has a horrible time and it ruins her vacation?”

 

“I doubt it” Rachel rolled her eyes. “She’s sweet, unlike you. She’s polite, unlike you. And yesterday when we were taking her on a tour, Paige and Emily were like two peas in a pod, giggling the entire time.”

 

“Thanks” Santana motioned her cup in a cheers motion. “Good to know you think so highly of me.”

 

“San” Rachel cooed softly and leaned over to lay her head on her friend’s shoulder “You know I am just teasing. I adore you. If I didn’t, you wouldn’t have lasted a week as my roommate.”

 

Santana shivered at the feel of Rachel’s head on her shoulder. Goosebumps rose on her skin and she had to shut her eyes. Stupid, stupid Emily. Now she had no idea what she was really feeling and what was being made up because of the accusation Emily had made. She forced herself to open her eyes and glance at her friend “Yeah, whatever” she managed with a little smile.

 

Rachel grinned and sat upright now. She sipped at her tea before she slid out of Santana’s bed “Okay, well, then I am just going to keep inviting Paige over every time we are hanging out with Emily.” She gave a giddy little shrug of her shoulders and smirked as she headed out of the room.

 

“Rachel” Santana said quickly, staring at the girl’s back before she turned around. When their eyes met, Santana’s stomach twisted into a knot. Damn it, Emily. She quickly shook the thought off and offered her friend a smile “Where is Emily, anyway? You were not the girl I was sharing my bed with last night.”

 

Rachel let out a soft laugh at the way Santana worded that. For some reason it almost brought a blush to her cheeks. Almost. But she managed to just smile over it and give another shrug “She went for a run.” She finished her tea then pulled the sheet door open and looked back and Santana again “I’m going to go make some breakfast so don’t hide in here all day, okay?”

 

“Alright” Santana offered her a soft smile. She watched Rachel’s form disappear through the sheet before she shook her head and looked back at her coffee. She let out a long, heavy sigh and slowly turned to put her feet on the ground. She set her coffee aside then pushed her hand through her hair. “Damn it” She whispered to herself before looking up and catching herself in the mirror across her room. She shook her head and pointed at herself “Don’t even start. Emily is crazy. You don’t have a thing for Rachel Berry.” Her reflection gave her a look that told her she didn’t believe it for a second. Damn it. Why did Emily have to open her big mouth?

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“So I was thinking” Rachel said with a glance over her shoulder toward the bathroom where Santana was in the shower. Once she was sure she really was in the shower she turned back to Emily sitting at the breakfast table and gave her a smile “We should totally go to the American Museum of Natural History today.”

 

“Really?” Emily perked up and smiled widely. “Because I really want to check that out but I was afraid Santana would think it was lame.”

 

“She would” Rachel said with a laugh as she sipped her cup of tea. “I dragged her to it once and she complained the entire time.” She waved her hand to the side and shrugged “So that is why I think we should wait until she goes to work and then we go together. How does that sound?”

 

“That sounds amazing” Emily was beaming now. She couldn’t say how excited she was. “You don’t work today?”

 

Rachel let out a little laugh and shook her head as she stood up from the table “I don’t have to be at the theater until later in the afternoon. If we go within the next hour we will have plenty of time to look around before I have to leave. That way you don’t have to sit around all day and wait for Santana to get off work to do something today.”

 

“I better go get ready” Emily said with a laugh as she stood up from the table and moved toward Santana’s room. It was a good thing she had showered after her run before Santana got in or they would have to wait longer to leave.

 

Rachel grinned as the girl ran off to get ready. She bit at her lower lip and took her phone out of her pocket. She sent a quick text then glanced to the bathroom where the shower had just shut off. She had promised not to set Emily and Paige up on a date but she never promised that she wouldn’t make sure they not-so-accidentally ran into each other while they were out and about. She smirked in satisfaction. Silly Santana, she should know that when Rachel Berry had something in her mind she didn’t quit until she followed it through.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“This place is huge” Emily whispered in awe as her eyes lifted up and around, taking everything in. They had just barely entered the museum and it was already the most amazing thing she had ever seen.

 

Rachel smiled, nodding her head as she looked around as well. She had been so many times that the entrance wasn’t as awe-inspiring as it used to be for her but it was still pretty amazing.

 

“So what do you want to see first?” Emily turned to look at Rachel and grinned before looking at the little guide she had been handed upon entrance.

 

“Whatever you want.” Rachel said with a shrug “This is your first time here. You get to pick!”

 

“Rach!” Paige walked over to the girls and let out a soft laugh, looking over at Em and biting her lip “Hey, Em. What a coincidence running into you two here.”

 

“I know, right” Rachel faked a shocked smile and glanced at Emily with a shrug. “What are the odds?”

 

Emily bit her lip and stared at Paige until the girl looked at her. She quickly looked down at the guide and shrugged a little “New York just keeps surprising me.”

 

“That it does” Paige said softly, her eyes on the younger girl. She drew in a deep breath then let it out slowly before eventually looking away and back to Rachel “When you said meet you-”

 

“So!” Rachel cut Paige off with a quick nod and looked at Emily “Em here was just about to pick what we are going to see first. Do you mind if Paige here tags along?”

 

“Not at all” Emily said quickly, maybe a little too quickly. Her eyes lifted and she caught Paige looking at her. When their eyes met her heart skipped a beat. She bit her lip and blushed softly before looking back to the guide. “Um, how about we look at the Oceans of the world?”

 

“I love water” Paige said with a laugh, her hands pushing into the pockets of her jean capris she wore that day.

 

“Excellent. Nice choice” Rachel motioned for the girls to lead the way. Emily looked up and around, found a sign to point her in the right direction, and started toward the exhibit she had picked.

 

Paige fell in step next to Emily, her hands still in her pockets, but her elbow kept brushing against Emily as they walked. She bit her lip very gently to fight back a smile each time it happened. She wasn’t sure how but this girl gave her butterflies just being near her.

 

The girls all walked together in relative silence until they found where they were going. They all stepped up to the first part of the exhibit and started to read some of the information on the wall. Rachel glanced over at the girls and noticed them stealing glances from the other. She bit her lip to fight a smile. This was so gonna work.

 

“So where’s your cousin?” Paige asked as casually as possible with a glance to Emily.

 

“She had to work. Rachel thought bringing me here while she was at work would be better than me sitting around and waiting for her to get off” Emily glanced up and gave the girl a smile “She was right.”

 

Rachel nodded to herself then pulled out her phone. The screen was blank but she put her acting skills to work “Oh” She blinked at the screen then looked at the girls “I have to take this, I am so sorry. Please, feel free to continue on. I will catch up.” With that Rachel gave one last smile, put her phone to her ear and pretended to answer the fake call as she walked away. Once she was out of sight, she smirked to herself, and headed toward the exit. 

 

Paige watched Rachel walk away before looking back to Emily with a smile. She nodded toward the rest of the exhibit and shrugged “Shall we?”

 

“Are you sure?” Emily glanced to where Rachel had disappeared then to Paige and bit her lip.

 

“She said she would catch up” Paige smiled then turned to walk along the walls, her hand reaching out to touch at Emily’s back to keep her close as they moved through the crowd of people.

 

The two girls walked in silence together for a few minutes. They would stop and read whatever new information was at the next stop along the exhibit but neither of them spoke. They stole glances here and there but neither of the girls saw the other looking at them. Finally Paige cleared her throat after a few minutes of silence and pointed at the sea life they were looking at “Is it weird that I like sharks?”

 

“No” Emily said with a shrug as she looked at the model of a shark tooth. “I mean if you had one for a pet that would be creepy. If you wanted to jump into a tank of them I might question your sanity. But to like them isn’t weird.”

 

Paige smiled and pushed her hands back into the pockets of her capri pants “What’s your favorite sea creature?”

 

Emily thought about it for a moment then looked up at Paige with a smile “I like swordfish.”

 

“Really?” Paige looked genuinely surprised at that. When Emily nodded, Paige let out a soft laugh and nodded too “And here I thought you’d say dolphin.”

 

“No way” Emily laughed and moved on with Paige behind her. “Dolphins are too typical. I like the swordfish. It looks intimidating, it can defend itself, and they are fast. Did you know the women are bigger than the men?”

 

“Really?” Paige gave an impressed shrug then looked at the next portion of the ocean display. “You really know a lot about them.”

 

“Well I just read the last part on that last plaque” Emily admitted with a laugh. When Paige looked at her with a smile, she blushed. She was glad the girl thought it was funny and wasn’t put off by her pretending to have known that. 

 

“Either way, I like your choice. It’s unexpected” Paige glanced at Emily with a little half smirk on her lips, her eyes looking the girl over “I like unexpected.”

 

Emily bit at her lip and looked at her feet. She was fighting a blush caused by the way Paige had just looked at her. It had given her a feeling in the pit of her stomach that she had never felt before. She was suddenly way too nervous about being alone with Paige. She fiddled with her hands where they held the guide and pretended to read the choices for what exhibit they should see next.

 

“So” Paige glanced at the girl with a little smile. She reached out her elbow and nudged her. “What’s next?”

 

Emily opened the guide and looked at a few choices. She bit her lip then looked up at Paige, offering the pages to her. When their eyes met, her heart leaped again. She bit her lip and handed it over “You choose.”

 

Paige nodded, her eyes on Emily as she took the guide from her hands. Their fingers brushed together and Paige drew in a deep breath. How did such a small touch cause such a tingle? She kept her eyes on the girl as long as she could before looking down at the paper map. She looked it over for a moment then shrugged “I’m a fan of dinosaurs.”

 

“We can do that” Emily said with a quick nod. She had been watching Paige looking at the paper and when she looked up, Emily quickly looked away as if trying to find which way to go. “Oh look, dinosaurs this way” She said with a point to the sign nearby.

 

Paige nodded, folded the guide up, stuffed it into her back pocket, then turned with Emily toward the dinosaurs. They fell quiet again as they moved but it wasn’t awkward. They were both concentrating on getting to the next exhibit and weaving through the crowd of people to do so. Once they finally reached the dinosaurs, Paige put her hand on Emily’s back and used it to get her attention. “Check that out” She whispered softly, pointing to the display of different sized eggs.

 

“Wow” Emily nodded, smiling softly at the display but only half paying attention to what any of it was. All she could really focus on was the fact that Paige’s hand was on her back. She bit her lip and took a deep breath. A shiver slid down her spine as she tried to focus on what was in front of her.

 

Paige frowned at the shiver and her hand moved off Emily’s back. She bit her lip nervously and put her hand into her pocket “You alright?”

 

“Yeah” Emily said quickly, turning around to face Paige now. She didn’t realize how close she was standing behind her and when they came nearly face to face Emily blushed brightly. She went to take a step back so she wasn’t invading Paige’s space but there was no where to step. Her foot kicked the lip of the cement that was at the base of the glass display and she stumbled. Her weight was all moving backwards in attempt to put space between herself and Paige and now she was falling into the glass.

 

Paige quickly scooped her arm around Emily’s waist. She had seen the girl stumble and just reacted. She managed to catch her before her entire body slammed backwards into the glass display and pulled until she was pinned into her body. She let out a soft laugh and shook her head as she looked at Emily in surprise “Are you okay?”

 

“Fine” Emily squeaked out. She was breathless from the shock of the stumble. Her mouth was dry from the sudden feel of Paige pressed against her. She nodded a little and her eyes met Paige’s as she tried to force a smile “Sorry I just..”

 

“It’s okay” Paige said quickly and offered her a soft smile. Her gaze was gentle as she looked at the girl she still held in her arms. “Are you always so clumsy?” She asked with a soft laugh hoping to lighten the mood.

 

Emily blushed and looked down. She shook her head as she straightened up and found her balance again. She put her hand on Paige’s shoulder once she was upright again and slowly lifted her eyes to meet the still gentle gaze. She gave a little push to indicate that Paige didn’t need to have her arm around her any longer then offered a little smile “I guess I am still getting my big city legs.”

 

Paige let out a soft laugh at the joke. She nodded and pulled her arm away from Emily now. “Good thing I’m here. If it was Rachel you might have been in trouble. That girl is tiny.”

 

“Yeah” Emily shyly pushed some hair behind her ear then looked away. She turned around and stepped to the side. She put her hands in her pockets then looked at the exhibit again. “Speaking of, where did she go?”

 

“I don’t know” Paige said with a frown. She felt like she had somehow offended Emily. She let out a sigh and put her hands into her pockets as well, walking a few steps behind Emily now as they moved on. “I don’t think she is coming back.”

 

“Why not?” Emily asked softly, glancing over her shoulder at Paige for just a moment before looking ahead again.

 

“Something tells me it was her plan to leave us alone all along.” Paige let out a laugh at that. When she had gotten a text to meet Rachel at the museum at a certain time she had thought they were going to hang out. Then, lo and behold, Emily was there and Rachel was suddenly gone. She knew Rachel well enough to know this was no accident.

 

“Why would she do that?” Emily whispered, not sure anyone else could hear it but herself. She bit at her lip and wondered if Rachel really had planned this.

 

“I have an idea” Paige said with a shrug, a soft smile forming on her lips. She watched Emily as they moved and once she stopped to look at something, Paige stepped up next to her. She looked over at her and after a moment, took a breath, and spoke softly “I think she thinks that you and I would be a good match and this was her way of setting us up on a date without actually setting us up.” She looked around their surroundings and laughed “Neutral ground, her suddenly having to leave, and here we are” She motioned to them standing next to each other. “We didn’t even know we were on a date.”

 

Emily was trying not to blush but she was failing. Her heart was thundering in her chest as Paige spoke. Her gut was twisting into a giant knot. She couldn’t believe she had been tricked to go on a date. Not that she was complaining. But she also was kind of offended. Why wouldn’t Rachel just ask her if she wanted to go out with Paige. She would have said yes. But she wouldn’t admit that to Paige. So she took a breath, shrugged, and tried to act indifferent “Well that was sneaky of her.”

 

Paige perked an eyebrow at the response. It didn’t sound negative. She didn’t seem upset but at the same time didn’t seem to like the idea. So how did she feel? Paige let out a sigh and nodded her head as she looked at the display “Sneaky indeed.”

 

This time when the silence fell upon them it was awkward. Neither girl really seemed to know how they felt about it, let alone how the other one felt. So where did they go from there. Paige rolled her eyes. She shouldn’t have said anything. She should have just let them live in their little naive bubble. She drew in a breath to apologize but Emily spoke first “So let’s get her back.”

 

“Wh-what?” Paige blinked and looked at the girl with an amused laugh. “Get her back for what?”

 

“Being sneaky” Emily said with a shrug, laughing softly.

 

“And how do you suppose we do that?” Paige was grinning now. This was definitely a better turn in events than she had expected. Emily kept surprising her. She really was unexpected.

 

“Let’s set her up on a date, too” Emily shrugged and glanced at Paige now with a smirk.

 

“With who? And how? You have been here like two days so who do you know?”

 

“Santana” Emily said with a firm nod.

 

“Your cousin? Her roommate?” Paige shook her head and laughed out softly. “You are insane!”

 

“Have you ever seen them together?” Emily turned now to face Paige, her face lit up with enjoyment at the idea. “Trust me, I have heard the way Santana talks about Rachel and in the short time I have been here I have seen the way they act around each other. I think Santana has a crush on Rachel but is too afraid to admit it, let alone act on it. So why not give them a sneaky little push?”

 

“Em” Paige said softly, still smiling, but her tone a little more serious “How do you know Rachel feels the same?” She shrugged slightly and shook her head.

 

“Well” Emily thought about it for a moment and shrugged too “I don’t know for sure. Rachel could just be super friendly to everyone. I haven’t heard her side of it like I have Santana’s but...” She just smirked and gave Paige a nod “It’s worth a shot to get her back for this, right?”

 

Paige looked at the girl for a moment. She thought it over and after a few beats she laughed and nodded her head “Okay, fine, I will go along with this only because it’s going to be hilarious when it’s awkward. Hopefully she will learn her lesson about setting people up without permission. When she complains to me about how weird it was being set up with Santana I will just tell her she got a taste of her own medicine.”

 

“Exactly” Emily let out a soft laugh.

 

“But” Paige lifted her hand to stop Emily. She caught her attention and shrugged before her face fell into that soft half smile she was known for “Just so you know? As sneaky as this was and as wrong as it was for her to do this, I’m not mad.” She reached out and gently brushed her fingers against Emily’s cheek.

 

Emily blushed brightly but didn’t look away. She nodded her head just slightly and smiled as her eyes met Paige’s “I’m not either.”

 

“Good” Paige nodded, licking her lips slowly. “In fact I am going to have to thank her.”

 

“For what?” Emily asked softly, her voice trembling just a little at the way Paige was looking at her.

 

“This” Paige whispered before leaning in to close the gap between them. She let her lips touch Emily’s very lightly, letting it linger just a moment before pulling back. When their eyes met again, she let out a soft laugh and her head dipped a little bit “That definitely deserves a thank you.”

 

Emily blushed brightly and licked over her lips to sweep the taste of Paige into her mouth. She bit her lip and took in a deep breath before nodding her head a little bit “Well that was unexpected.”

 

Paige grinned slightly and looked up at Emily now “I told you I like the unexpected.”

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

When Santana heard the loft door open she looked in the direction even though she couldn’t see the door through the sheet walls of her room. “Rachel? Emily?”

 

Emily bit her lip when she heard Santana’s voice. She didn’t think she would be off of work yet. She glanced behind her at Paige and motioned for her to come in before she slid the door closed “Yeah, San, it’s me.”

 

Santana stood up from where she had been folding her laundry and headed out of her room toward the living room. “I tried calling you but you didn’t answer. I got off early and thought-” She paused when her eyes fell on her cousin and Paige. She perked an eyebrow and motioned at the two of them “Where’s Rachel?”

 

“She got an important phone call and had to go in early. I think” Paige shrugged at the last part. She really had no idea if she had really even gotten a phone call. But she wasn’t about to say Rachel had purposely ditched them so they could be alone. So she would just go with that story for now.

 

Santana’s eyebrow held it’s arch as she looked between the two girls. Emily looked guilty and Paige looked a little uncomfortable. She let out a heavy grunt of a sigh and shook her head “Damn it, Berry!”

 

“Don’t get mad!” Emily said quickly and shook her head. “She didn’t ditch me. It’s not like she left me alone somewhere so I would get lost. Paige was there.”

 

“Coincidentally” Paige added quickly and gave a fast smile that faded when Santana didn’t seem to believe her. “I happened to be there and ran into them. When Rachel had to leave I thought it was cool because Em and I know each other. It’s not like she was with a stranger.”

 

“And it’s not like I’m a child” Emily added with a huff as she folded her arms across her chest and looked a lot like Santana when she did so.

 

“I’m not mad she left you” Santana rolled her eyes. “At least, not mad because Paige was there” She motioned at the girl then shook her head. “I told her very specifically to butt out.”

 

Emily perked an eyebrow at that and dropped her arms to her side “Butt out of what?”

 

Santana realized what she had said and her eyes shifted a little to the side. She shrugged and folded her arms loosely “Nothing. Anyway I told her not to mess around with you...” She motioned to Emily then looked at Paige. She knew there was no explaining this away so she finally let out a frustrated sigh. “She had this stupid idea that she should hook you two up and I said no because, well for one, Emily isn’t staying long at all!”

 

Paige smirked a little then dropped her head to look at her feet so Santana wouldn’t see the smirk.

 

Emily just rolled her eyes “You don’t have any say in who I see or don’t see no matter how long I am going to be somewhere.” She folded her arms again and made a ‘hmph’ sound.

 

“Em” Santana sighed and went over to her cousin. She put her hand on her shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze “I was just looking out for you. I want you to have the full New York experience and that does not include dating, no offense Paige.”

 

Paige lifted her hands and shook her head to indicate none had been taken.

 

“I also know that you are the type of girl who falls hard and cares completely and if you were to meet someone here...” Santana motioned to Paige again “And let yourself, you know, think that this was some magical romantic comedy type plot line, well I’m afraid you would only end up disappointed because...” She looked at Paige then back to Emily with a frown “look I just think coming here to visit and shacking up with someone right away is the wrong way to enjoy yourself here. And Rachel was being nosy. She has no business setting you up, she doesn’t even know you.”

 

“Look San I appreciate your concern” Emily frowned and unfolded her arms. “But I can take care of myself. I came here to visit you and I plan on spending as much time with you as possible. I also want to experience all the magic that is New York City and if part of that magic happens to come from meeting an awesome girl, then so be it. I’m not going to say no just because it’s the rational thing to do.”

 

“But Rachel has no business-”

 

“Maybe not” Emily cut Santana off quickly. “But her heart is in the right place and that’s all that matters. I’m not going to shut someone out because I’m afraid of what might be. I’m going to focus on the what actually is in that moment. That’s what matters to me.”

 

Santana let out a sigh and just shook her head for a moment. She wasn’t sure how her cousin had grown up so quickly but she had. Part of her was proud and the other part of her was sad. She missed the girl who used to hang on every word she said and looked up to her. But she couldn’t be upset that Emily had grown and was starting to be her own woman. Then something hit her and she frowned “Hey wait a minute what did you mean about shutting someone out because you’re afraid?”

 

Emily just smirked and shrugged her shoulders. She looked over at Paige and her smirk turned to a smile. “So did you wanna grab some dinner with Santana and I tonight? It’s my treat.”

 

Before Paige could answer, Santana stepped up and put her hand on Emily’s shoulder. She turned her to face her a bit more and shook her head “No, what did you mean by that?”

 

Emily just rolled her eyes but held her smile “San, come on.” She reached out and patted her cousin on the shoulder almost like she would to a small child who had just been consoled about something “You need to be honest with yourself.”

 

“Me?” Santana’s jaw dropped and she stepped back. She folded her arms and her eyes fixed into a glare at her cousin. “You can’t be serious right now. Are you seriously talking about Rachel again?”

 

Emily just shrugged as her smile turned to an amused smirk again.

 

“Oh, mi dios, no esta loco vuelve a hablar” Santana rolled her eyes and shook her head. She threw her hands in the air and turned away from her cousin. “You and Rachel, I swear to god. Not everything is about being in love or being coupled up. You can live a life alone and be happy.”

 

“But are you?” Emily said with a little shrug. Her voice was so soft she wasn’t even sure Santana had heard it. 

 

Santana paused and turned around slowly now to look at her cousin. She had heard it alright. She arched an eyebrow and stared so hard a hole might have bored through Emily had Santana possessed some super natural powers. “Not that it is any of your business but, yes, I am just fine with the life I am living right now and I would really appreciate both you and Rachel butting out and leaving me alone.”

 

Emily’s eyes shifted and she finally dropped her head to look away. She hadn’t seen Santana look at anyone like that in years. She knew not to push any further. She had crossed a line and whether she was right or wrong, it didn’t matter. Santana had heard enough. Santana was stubborn and even if the intentions were good she wouldn’t hear it. So Emily nodded and decided to let it go.

 

Santana rolled her eyes and tossed her sheet door open before storming into her bedroom. She had definitely had enough of people trying to tell her what she was thinking, feeling, and what would be best for her. If she was unhappy she would do something to change it. Until then everyone needed to leave her alone.

 

Paige bit her lip and glanced at Emily. She felt really bad about all of this. She had, after all, agreed to go on a blind date with Santana. Maybe it was her fault. None of this had been an issue before their date, right? Actually she didn’t know. All she knew now was she felt bad and wanted to try and help fix it. “Maybe” Paige whispered to Emily hoping Santana couldn’t hear it “Your idea about revenge is a bad one.”

 

Emily just nodded and waved her hand to the side. She definitely wouldn’t push it now. But she did still want to get Rachel back. Somehow. But for now she was more concerned about Santana. She held up a finger to Paige to silently ask for a moment before she turned and headed to Santana’s room. She stood outside the door and after a moment of not hearing anything inside she cleared her throat lightly “San? Look, I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you. I meant it when I was offering to take you to dinner tonight. It can be just you and I, though, if you’d like?”

 

Santana, who had laid back on her bed and was staring into the vast open space that was the loft ceiling, rolled her eyes and let out a sigh “I appreciate that but you don’t have to do that. Paige can come along. You seem to really like her for some reason.”

 

“I do” Emily glanced at Paige when she spoke the words and gave her a sweet smile. Paige dipped her head and looked away from Emily which caused her to smile even wider. She looked back to the sheet door and shrugged “How about we wait until Rachel is done and she can come too? You know, our first real dinner together in New York as a little family and friends unit thing, if that makes sense. I mean I am going to be spending most of my time with you three girls while I’m here. Let’s make it an official first night out type of a deal? No funny business, just friends, cousins, and roommates all going out for a night on the town.”

 

Santana laughed a little bit at her cousin trying desperately to have her proposal not sound like a double date. She knew what she meant but it was funny to hear the girl babble on in fear that Santana might reject it because it sounded like she was trying to set them up. She rolled her eyes at the thought. Emily was insane thinking Rachel and her could ever be more than friends. 

 

“San?” Emily spoke a little more loudly now, wondering if her cousin was mad at her idea since she hadn’t answered her right away.

 

“Sorry” Santana let out a laugh and sat up on her bed. She looked at her sheet door and could see Emily’s shadow silhouetted against it by the light from the living room. “I’ll go but on one condition.”

 

“Anything” Emily said quickly, nodding excitedly as a smile came to her lips.

 

“If I see one even slightly coupley thing out of you and Paige I am out of there.”

 

“What?” Emily scoffed and glanced at Paige. She was glad for the sheet so her cousin couldn’t see her blushing.

 

Paige bit back a laugh from where she stood still in the living room. She shook her head and tucked her hands into her pockets. They were so busted.

 

“Oh don’t act like I’m an idiot, Em” Santana got off her bed and walked over to her door. She flung it open and stepped out next to where her cousin was standing. She motioned between Emily and Paige with a point “Creatures on Mars could see there is something going on here. Look at you, you can’t stop blushing” She smirked and tapped her cousin’s cheek with her finger. “And that one there hasn’t stopped awkwardly standing there trying not to casually touch you or look at you since you two walked in.” She motioned to Paige with her head and rolled her eyes. “Don’t lie to me.”

 

Emily blushed harder. Paige bit her lip, dipped her head, and turned around as if she had suddenly become completely interested in the pictures hanging on the wall behind her. She walked over to them and leaned closer to look at them. Anything she could do to not look awkward but it failed and was a dead giveaway that Santana had been completely right.

 

Santana folded her arms with that triumphant little smirk she got when everyone in the room was uncomfortable because of what she had just said. She glanced back to Emily and gave her a nudge with her elbow “Hey, she’s pretty cute so I don’t blame you there. Just nothing cute tonight, okay? Just a girls’ night out, right? You and me. Berry and Awkward Longstockings over there. Four friends having a nice time. Deal?”

 

“Of course” Emily said softly, nodding quickly in hopes that it would somehow shake the blush out of her cheeks. “After dinner we can go to a club or something if you want?”

 

Santana let out a laugh and rolled her eyes at the thought “You have to be 21, Em.”

 

“Please” Emily rolled her eyes and smirked, looking more like Santana in that moment than she ever had in her life. “You think you’re the only one in the family who has had a fake ID since she was fifteen?”

 

Santana gave an impressed arch of an eyebrow and nodded her head slowly “Well well well it seems I taught you well.”

 

“Obviously” Emily laughed softly and slid her arm around her cousin for a weird sideways hug.

 

“Not to be a buzzkill” Paige had turned around now that the focus was off her. “ But I don’t have a fake ID.”

 

“Boo” Santana frowned then looked over at Emily with a shrug “You sure you like this geek?”

 

Emily blushed again but rolled her eyes and pushed away from her cousin. She went over to Paige now and offered her a sweet smile “That’s alright. We can find something fun for us all to do after dinner.”

 

Santana just shrugged and waved a hand to the side toward the girls “Figure it out. I’m going to go text Rachel the plan then get ready for dinner. She will be done in an hour or so.”

 

Emily watched her cousin disappear into the bedroom again before slowly turning to Paige and giving her a little smile. She reached out and took hold of one of her hands, giving it a squeeze “So it seems that we are not very subtle. But she took it easier than I thought she would.”

 

Paige let out a soft laugh as her hand turned around in Emily’s so their fingers could slide between Emily’s. “She’s right, you know?”

 

“About what?” Emily whispered. She hated that there weren’t any real walls in the loft, she felt like she couldn’t have a real conversation without it being heard by everyone.

 

“About what she said about your experience here. Dating someone shouldn’t be on that list. Not when you are going home in a few weeks.” Paige let out a sigh at the last of her words as her eyes dropped away from Emily.

 

“Hey” Emily shook her head and moved her free hand to lift Paige’s chin until her eyes lifted. She greeted her with a gentle smile “All I know is I am having a good time in New York already. Part of the reason for that is I met an awesome girl who I get along with, who makes me laugh, and I can hang out with without feeling like I’m missing out on something else. So I say we just enjoy that. I’m not naive. I know there are a lot of realities that exist that could dampen all of this but I’m not worried about those.”

 

“Maybe you should be” Paige frowned and her hand slid out of Emily’s. “I don’t want you getting hurt. I don’t really feel like being hurt either.”

 

“I know” Emily nodded “And you know. We know. We understand that. So look, let’s just enjoy each other and hang out and have a good time this summer, okay? I like you. I like being around you. That is enough for me for now. I’m not asking you to marry me or anything” She laughed very softly at that which got Paige to smile too. “I just want to have a good time and I want part of that good time to involve you.”

 

Paige took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. She still held a smile but it was small as she looked at the girl in front of her. Never in her life had she felt a connection to someone like this that she had just met. She didn’t want to lose that but she also didn’t want to miss out because she was over thinking what could be. She needed to focus on the what actually was and that included just enjoying the moment “I like you, too.”

 

“Good” Emily nodded and lifted her hand to take Paige’s again. “Then let’s enjoy that. Everything else will work itself out in the end.”

 

“You sure?” Paige perked a skeptical eyebrow.

 

“No” Emily said with a laugh and shook her head “But I’m willing to take the risk anyway.”

 

Paige nodded at that and gave Emily’s hand a soft squeeze. She wasn’t sure either of them would escape unscathed but she knew Emily was right about figuring it out later. She couldn’t imagine not spending time with this girl while she was in town. So she would take what she could get. “You keep surprising me, Emily Fields.”

 

Emily shrugged and gave her a coy little smile “Gotta stay unexpected. I know a girl who likes that sort of thing.”

 

Paige let out a soft breath of a laugh and her head dipped again. Sometimes Emily was just too cute and Paige felt that if she looked at her too long she might explode with happiness because of it.

 

“Now” Emily reached up to pat Paige’s shoulders and gave her a nod. “Go home and get ready for girls’ night out. I will text you the deets.”

 

Paige let out a laugh but decided not to comment on the word deets. She instead nodded and took a few steps backwards “I look forward to it” She said with a nod, her eyes on Emily as she moved toward the door. She didn’t look away until her back ran into the door. She bit her lip and turned now, grabbing the handle and sliding the door open. “See you later.”

 

“Bye” Emily bit back the smile that wanted to take over her face. She stood there watching Paige, giving her a little wave when she stepped through the door. They shared one last smile before Paige finally shut the door. Emily let out a happy sigh and looked down at her feet, still fighting a smile.

 

“Gross” Santana mumbled, having come out of her room to head to the bathroom right when the goodbyes had been exchanged. “That is the exact thing I mean. If I see any of that crap tonight I am out of there.”

 

Emily rolled her eyes and turned to her cousin. She gave her a shove and headed to the bedroom “I hate you.”

 

“I know” Santana smirked and let out her little happy cackle before heading across the loft to the bathroom. Part of her wanted to tease her cousin mercilessly all night so she would be too embarrassed to act cute toward Paige at all. Another part of her envied her. She seemed completely smitten. She kind of missed what that felt like. She let out a sigh as she pushed the bathroom door closed behind her. She would never admit how lonely she actually was because that would require admitting that Rachel and Emily were both right. She rolled her eyes and reached over to start the shower now. She would be just fine. She just needed to find a way out of this slump.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 


	3. What is this feeling?

“Oh no. Nope” Santana pointed to Emily and Paige sitting on the same side of the table and shook her head. “No way. One of you has to move.”

 

“Why?” Rachel asked as cluelessly as she could. Santana had gotten up to go find Rachel and lead her to their table once she had texted to say she had arrived for dinner. Now the two of them stood next to the booth as Santana demanded one of the other girls move.

 

“Don’t act like you don’t know” Santana rolled her eyes at Rachel then folded her arms at the other girls. When Emily sighed and slid out of the booth with a grumble, Santana grinned and moved to plop down next to her. Paige gave Rachel a smile as the girl slid into the spot that had been vacated when Emily moved.

 

“Happy?” Emily grumbled as she picked up her menu.

 

“Yes” Santana said cheerfully and looked at her own menu as well.

 

“What was that all about?” Rachel perked an eyebrow at the cousins then looked over to her friend next to her.

 

“Santana might have figured out that there might be a little something going on between Em and I and is very much against it.” Paige let out a soft laugh as her eyes scanned the options on the menu.

 

“I am not against it” Santana mumbled from behind her menu. “I just don’t want to see any of that shit tonight. We agreed. Girls’ night out with no funny business.”

 

Rachel’s face was lit up in complete joy and amusement. It seemed her plan for the museum date had gone perfectly! She bit back an excited squeak and looked at Paige “Might be something going on?”

 

Paige rolled her eyes and smiled a little “You aren’t as sneaky as you think you are. We figured out what you did.”

 

Rachel let out a fake gasp of shock and put a hand to her heart “I have no idea what you are implying.”

 

“Oh god” Santana rolled her eyes and set down her menu to look across the table at Rachel now. “You aren’t on stage anymore, toots, the gig is up. You’d better just admit it now.”

 

Rachel smirked to herself and just shrugged as her eyes fell to her menu finally “I stand by what I said. I got a very important phone call that pulled me away.”

 

“Mhm” Santana shook her head but cracked a little smile. Rachel was such a bad liar. “You’re lucky I’m not pissed you ditched my cousin in public.”

 

“I didn’t ditch her! Paige was there” Rachel motioned to her friend and shrugged.

 

“Because of you” Santana folded her hands and stared across the table at Rachel firmly “I’m a little annoyed you couldn’t butt out even though I told you it wasn’t a good idea. But, what did I expect? Rachel Berry is a stubborn mule.”

 

“Rude” Rachel tossed her napkin at her roommate but let out a laugh. “I swear it was all coincidence.”

 

“Whatever” Santana shook her head and looked at her cousin. “Did you decide what you wanted?”

 

Emily nodded and gave her a smile but didn’t say anything. Her eyes flickered across the table and when they met Paige’s she blushed. She was sure her cousin would throw a fit if she knew the two of them were tangled in a game of footsies under the table at the moment.

 

She didn’t have to come up with an excuse as to why she was so quiet though because the server came by at that moment to get their orders. Once everyone had taken a turn getting what they wanted and the server had left to fill orders, a comfortable quiet fell over the table. Emily and Paige stole glances and played with each others feet while Santana looked around them. The place was pretty busy. She wondered how long the food would take. She was starving.

 

“So how did the show go tonight?” Paige turned and looked at Rachel, breaking the quiet softly so as not to startle anyone.

 

“Good” Rachel grinned at her friend. “You really should come see it sometime. I think you would really like it.”

 

“Well maybe Em and I can catch it one night while she is here?”

 

Santana cleared her throat and arched an eyebrow.

 

Paige rolled her eyes and shook her head “I meant as friends, obviously. I am sure you’ve seen the show your fair amount of times, Santana. Friends go and support other friends. Nothing wrong with that.”

 

Santana rolled her eyes and nodded. She knew it wouldn’t be as just friends but she didn’t want to hear about any future dates. Too cute and coupley. She wanted none of that tonight. So she cleared her throat and looked at Emily. “Did you decide what you wanted to do after dinner?”

 

“Well since we can’t go to a club...” Emily pouted and looked at Paige before shrugging “I don’t know. Maybe a movie?”

 

“Lame” Santana shook her head and looked at Rachel. “What do you wanna do for girls’ night out?”

 

Rachel looked at the group of girls and smiled very softly. “I know you think it’s lame, Santana, but Callbacks is having a karaoke contest tonight that is open to anyone, not just NYADA students. There is a cash prize for whoever wins.”

 

“I don’t really sing” Emily said softly, glancing down at her hands.

 

“No?” Paige looked a little saddened by that. “Have you ever tried? It’s really fun.”

 

“Do you think that’s fair?” Santana looked at Rachel with a smirk. “I mean you’re on Broadway and I sing every day at work. Plus all my commercial work. I mean are there any guidelines to the competition?”

 

“Well usually anyone with professional training, schooling, or work all compete in one group and all the amateurs compete in the other.” Rachel shrugged and looked at Emily “You don’t have to sing. You can go and watch and cheer us on. You even get to vote. It really is fun and Callbacks is a club for anyone over eighteen so you two can get in.”

 

Santana shrugged and looked at Emily. She gave her a nudge and smiled softly “What do you say, kid?”

 

Emily looked up at Santana, then to Rachel, and finally at Paige. She saw the hopeful glint in Paige’s eyes and she couldn’t help but smile. It seemed like this was something that sounded really fun to Paige and it beat going to a movie since that was something she could do back home any time. Finally she nodded and looked back to Santana “Okay, sure. But if someone out sings you I am not voting for you just because you are family.”

 

“You damn well better or your ass is grass” Santana lifted her arm and pulled Emily close to her with a laugh. She playfully messed her hair up with her hand before letting her go and looking back to Rachel and Paige. “Sorry ladies, but I plan to take you both down tonight.”

 

“Well I’m totally amateur so...” Paige shrugged and gave her a smile.

 

“You wish” Rachel smirked, giving Santana a playful kick under the table. 

 

“Shit” Santana groaned and reached down to rub at her shin. She scowled at Rachel and shook her head “Just for that I’m not holding back. No mercy, Berry.”

 

“Bring it, Lopez” Rachel growled right back.

 

Emily smirked as she watched the two of them interact. Even in the heat of competition she could see they were both being playful. There was no hint of malice in either of their tone. She glanced at Paige and perked an eyebrow before motioning with her head to the two. When Paige just shrugged but seemed to nod, Emily grinned. She knew she wasn’t crazy. There was definitely something there and Emily would get to the bottom of it if it was the last thing she did.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

After dinner the girls had all walked the few blocks to Callbacks and were relieved to see it wasn’t too crowded yet. Rest assured, as Rachel kept reminding them, it would be a full house in no time. So after seeking out prime real estate, which was important for both judging karaoke and being part of the competition, she had gone to the bar to get drinks. She returned now with a couple sodas for Emily and Paige and two mixed drinks for Santana and herself. She slid into the half circle shaped booth next to Santana and smiled as she looked around the lounge then back to Santana “So, apparently, they are having a solo and duet competition tonight. Do you wanna duet with me?”

 

Santana nearly choked on her drink. She had heard what Rachel was talking about but the way it registered in her head was totally different than what Rachel had been saying. Instead of hearing the word duet she had heard “do it” and that tiny part inside her that might kind of believe Emily’s claims that she had a crush on Rachel leaped forward and freaked out for a second.

 

“You could just say no” Rachel frowned as she reached out to pat Santana’s back as she coughed over her drink. “I didn’t mean to nearly kill you. It was only a question.”

 

“No” Santana cleared her throat once the liquid that had gone down the wrong pipe was coughed out completely. She wiped her eye and looked up at Rachel as another cough escaped “I mean, I didn’t cough at your suggestion. Wrong pipe” She cleared her throat and pointed to her drink. “Just bad timing.” 

 

“So is that a yes?” Rachel perked up and grinned widely. She slid her arm through Santana’s and leaned into her, giving her a sweet smile and batting her eyes “Please?”

 

Santana let out a soft laugh and shook her head before looking away. Rachel was so annoying and a little cute when she wanted something. No. Not cute. Just annoying. She looked at Emily who was grinning ear to ear having watched the entire exchange. She glared at her cousin before rolling her eyes and looking back to Rachel “What song do you have in mind?”

 

“Yay!” Rachel sat up and clapped excitedly. She bounced in her seat before sliding out of the booth “I am going to go sign us up!”

 

“Wait!” Santana called after her but it was too late. She was gone. Santana rolled her eyes and looked back at her cousin. When she caught the goofy grin on her lips she pointed firmly at her “No. I know what you are thinking and stop it. We have good musical chemistry and this way I don’t have to hear her bitch when I beat her. So, no.”

 

Emily held up her hands in surrender and shrugged “I didn’t say anything! I am just happy I get to see you sing tonight. It’s been years!”

 

“Mhm” Santana rolled her eyes and took another drink before looking at Paige. “Are you gonna sing?”

 

Paige gave a nod of her head and smiled “I signed up on my way back from the bathroom.”

 

“Joy” Santana said sarcastically then turned away from her cousin and Paige. She couldn’t stand looking at Emily’s stupid grin. Stupid Emily thinking she had a crush on Rachel. She had to admit, though, she was having a good time. 

 

“Okay, so” Rachel came back and slid into the spot next to Santana with a grin on her lips. “We are signed up. The prize for duets is $500 and solos is only $150 so we made a good choice there.”

 

“What song?” Santana asked again, not too concerned with the money.

 

“You’ll see” Rachel chirped happily and reached for her drink.

 

Santana just shook her head and took another drink before she set it down and nudged Rachel’s hip “I gotta pee.”

 

Rachel rolled her eyes and slid out of the booth “You could have said excuse me.”

 

“I could have” Santana slid out and gave her a smirk when she stood up. “But then you wouldn’t get to lecture me and your life would be sad. So I’m really doing this for you.”

 

“So charming” Rachel mumbled and plopped back down onto the booth. 

 

Santana gave Rachel a playfully cocky wink then made her way through the thickening crowd toward the bathroom where there was surely already a line for her to wait in. She better not drink too much she didn’t want to have to stand in line all night or get a lecture from Rachel about how her performance could have been better if she had not be inebriated.

 

Emily waited about thirty seconds after Santana left to move from her side of the booth over to where Rachel was sitting. She grinned at her before giving a slight shrug of her shoulders “So is there anyone special in your life?”

 

“Woah” Paige let out a soft laugh and looked away from the girls. This just got really awkward.

 

“Well you certainly don’t beat around the bush. I can see that must be a genetic trait” Rachel let out a nervous laugh before looking at her drink.

 

“I’m just trying to get to know you better. Besides you helped Paige and I out by setting us up on a date we didn’t realize we were on for a while so, you know, I thought it only fair to return the favor if need be.”

 

“It’s not needed” Rachel smiled softly and looked at Emily with a genuine little nod “But thank you.”

 

“No?” Emily perked an eyebrow and looked a little disappointed. “So you do have someone special?”

 

“No I didn’t say that” Rachel shook her head and offered a soft smile. “I just said it wasn’t necessary. I am doing just fine on my own. I go out and meet people and between school and the play I have plenty of friends who introduce me to people all the time. I’m just very busy at the moment and getting into something serious is not on top of my list of priorities.”

 

Emily nodded slowly and glanced at Paige. Paige was sipping her drink and looking anywhere but at the two girls. This conversation was so not something she wanted to be a part of. She knew Rachel well enough to know that this subject was kind of an unspoken forbidden subject. Don’t talk about dating with Rachel.

 

“But I appreciate your concern” Rachel added when Emily seemed to be deep in thought. “I love my job, so much. I couldn’t even imagine giving any attention to something else and that includes a person. Dating is hard as it is. You have to get to know the person, assuming it’s someone you’ve only just met, and you sacrifice a lot of time to do that. Even if it’s someone you kind of know, dating changes things and you have to spend time re-learning about the person. It’s just not something I am willing to sacrifice my time for at the moment. I would hate to pull someone into my crazy life then be accused of being selfish when I couldn’t give them the time they needed because of my how busy I get. So I’m being selfish and saying my time is mine and no one else can have it.”

 

Emily smiled very softly at that. It made sense, it really did. She understood exactly where Rachel was coming from. Well not exactly because she definitely didn’t lead a crazy life like Rachel did, but she understood the reasoning. “Do you think maybe one day you might realize there is a person in your life that you are willing to sacrifice all that for?”

 

“Maybe” Rachel said softly. “But I’m not really looking so I don’t see that happening any time soon.”

 

“What if you didn’t have to look? What if that person was already around and then one day you realized they’d been around and they knew your life and they still fit perfectly into your life without taking any time away from your priorities?” Emily sounded hopeful, maybe a little too hopeful.

 

“What?” Rachel shook her head slowly. “There is no one in my life like that so to even say that is crazy talk.”

 

“What are we talking about?” Santana had come back and was standing behind where her cousin was sitting. It was her spot after all.

 

Emily jumped and turned around, grinning a little too widely as she stood up and shook her head “Just girl talk. Getting to know your roomie a little better.”

 

“Mhm” Santana hummed and plopped down next to Rachel once Emily had moved. She looked at her friend and perked an eyebrow slightly at the look on her face. She looked a little too deep in thought. “What’d she say?”

 

“Nothing” Rachel gave her a little smile. “Just girl talk.”

 

Thankfully the little awkward stare down that Santana and Rachel had engaged in was broken up by the host of the night’s events as he got a hold of the microphone and welcomed everyone. There was a round of applause, an introduction of what was going to happen that night, another round of applause, and finally the first act was brought onto the stage. As the applause died, music started, and the competition was underway.

 

They were alternating between duets and solo acts so that people wouldn’t get too bored and so that the awaiting contestants couldn’t get too comfortable in thinking they weren’t next. So far, as to be expected, the professional bracket was filled with pretty decent performers. The amateur side, though, was a different story. There were people who had pretty decent voices and there were people who should not be singing. But everyone was polite and each act got a round of applause after their song finished.

 

“Alright, rocking right along. We have our next competitor in the amateur bracket. Give it up for Paige McCullers!”

 

Paige smiled and looked around at the girls at the table before sliding out and heading to the stage. She grabbed one of the microphones, pushed a hand back through her long hair, then looked into the crowd “Hey everyone” She smirked and her eyes landed on Emily “Can you help me get my friend up here to sing along?” She pointed at Emily and a spotlight came out of nowhere to land on her.

 

Emily looked wide eyed and shook her head quickly. She put up her hands and shook them as she sank back into the booth a little. “No, no, I don’t sing.”

 

Paige smirked and looked around at everyone who was cheering her on. Her eyes landed back on Emily and gave a coy little shrug of one of her shoulders “Come on, Em. I need a partner and they love you already.”

 

Emily bit at her bottom lip and shook her head quickly “Paige, no” She whispered and looked down at her hands.

 

Another round of cheering lifted into the air and Paige grabbed the second microphone and held it out toward Emily “Come on, Em, let’s duet together.”

 

“Go, go, go go” Both Rachel and Santana were cheering and clapping along with the rest of the crowd. Rachel thought it was completely adorable and Santana had an amused smirk on her lips. She nodded quickly when her cousin looked to her for help then pointed to the stage “She’s waiting.”

 

Emily looked up at Paige who was swaying her hips and twirling the microphone on her hand. She let out a huge sigh and stood up, pointing at the girl as she approached her. She shook her head and snatched the microphone out of her hand with a growl“You so owe me.”

 

“Alright!” The host laughed into his microphone then started the music.

 

The first few chords of Roy Orbison’s “Oh Pretty Woman” started up and Emily looked at Paige with a laugh and a shake of her head, mouthing the word “No” at her.

 

Paige just smirked and when it was time for the lyrics she just looked at the screen, held the microphone to her lips, and started to sing. She was immediately into the words and putting on her best show. She kept stealing glances from Emily, smirking at how red the girl had turned in such a short time.

 

Emily was just watching Paige as she swayed and sang and kind of had a strut about her. She rolled her eyes and when she was being nudged for the hundredth time by Paige she finally let out a sigh and joined in on the chorus.

 

When she finally joined in the crowd went wild. Sure it wasn’t the best singing in the world but Paige was strutting around with a little smirk on her lips and Emily kind of looked like she wanted to turn into a puddle and sink through the cracks in the floor and the crowd was eating it up. It might not have been the best performance, vocally, but it sure had the crowd going wild by the time it ended.

 

As the last chord was struck, Paige was giving a heavy bow and sliding her arm around Emily. Emily hid her face against Paige with a giggle and both girls exited the stage as quickly as possible. Once they plopped back into the booth, Rachel let out a giggle and moved over to hug Paige tightly “Although your song choice was hopefully satirical in nature, it was quite an amazing performance!”

 

Paige let out a laugh and returned the hug from her friend before nodding and looking over at Emily “I couldn’t resist when I saw it on the list. I used to listen to it on an old cassette player over and over again when I was like, I don’t know, eight. I thought it was a pretty hilarious choice.”

 

“I gotta admit it was hysterical” Santana said with a little smirk. She hadn’t wanted to see them acting like a couple at all but seeing how her cousin’s face had burned in complete embarrassment the entire time had made it bearable.

 

“It was awful. I hate singing in front of people” Emily shook her head, her cheeks still pink from her blush. She glanced at Paige and rolled her eyes but managed a smile “I can’t believe I agreed to do that.”

 

Paige smiled warmly and put her arm around Emily lightly “I appreciate it more than you know.”

 

“Nope” Santana shook her head and started to slide from the booth. “I’m out of here.”

 

“Fine” Paige lifted her arm off Emily and rolled her eyes. “That wasn’t even on purpose! Take a chill pill, Lopez.”

 

“You agreed to the rules” Santana pointed at Paige firmly and bared her teeth a bit. 

 

“Doesn’t matter” Rachel pushed Santana out of the way so she could get out of the booth as well before wrapping her hand around Santana’s forearm. “Because we’re up and you agreed so you can’t back out now. Besides, doing a duet alone would be really embarrassing.”

 

“Oh don’t lie that would be like a dream come true for you” Santana said with a laugh, her annoyance at Paige fading as Rachel led her to the stage. She stepped up behind Rachel then took the microphone she was offered before looking at the screen where the lyrics would appear. “What did you pick for us anyway?”

 

“You’ll see” Rachel smirked then looked to the dj and nodded to let him know he could start their music.

 

As the title rolled across the screen, Santana groaned and looked at Rachel. “You didn’t.”

 

Rachel just smirked and as the first spoken part came up, she took a breath, smirked at Santana and started in on cue “Dearest darlingest Momsie and Popsicle...”

 

Santana rolled her eyes at Rachel and shook her head but didn’t miss her cue “My dear father...”

 

They fell into the back and forth banter type speaking parts at the beginning of “What Is This Feeling” from Wicked as if they had been practicing it for years. They kind of had been. Not directly for the purpose of ever performing it, at least not that Santana had been aware of, but whenever it came up on the shuffle when they were cleaning or doing other things around the loft they had both always chimed in and belted it out together. It was kind of embarrassing and Santana would never admit they ever actually did that but the secret was kind of out of the bag now as they belted it out in public.

 

“What is this feeling so sudden and new?” Rachel glanced at Santana as the singing part started now.

 

“I felt the moment I laid eyes on you” Santana rolled her eyes, playing the part of the annoyed roommate. But her gut twitched a little at the words too. Suddenly she felt really weird singing this song with Rachel.

 

“My pulse is rushing” Rachel patted her chest to the crowd.

 

“My head is reeling” Santana kind of mumbled as her eyes shifted away from Rachel. Stupid Emily! Her head really was reeling and it was all her cousin’s fault.

 

“My face is flushing” Rachel smiled shyly at Santana this time.

 

“What is this feeling?” The two of them sang together and suddenly Santana wanted to be anywhere but on stage. The song was about hating every little thing about the other person, which fit them to a tee, especially back when they were in high school. But right now? It felt like it meant something else. The lyrics highlighted how annoying the other was but the beginning? It hit home for Santana in a way she had never expected and she was now left asking herself: What IS this feeling?

 

Somehow Santana managed to get through the entire song without running off the stage and finding a rock to hide under. As soon as it was done, Rachel reached over and grabbed her hand so they could take a bow together. Santana’s entire arm went warm and she wasn’t sure it was still attached to her body. But she managed a bow, a smile, and then quickly made her way off the stage.

 

“That was awesome you guys” Emily clapped as her cousin and a beaming Rachel approached their booth. 

 

Santana took a deep breath, grabbed her drink, downed the rest of it, then picked up her purse. She looked at the three of them and shook her head “I suddenly don’t feel too good. I think I am going to call it a night.”

 

“What? No!” Rachel pouted her bottom lip out and grabbed Santana’s hand, which ignited all of Santana’s nerves again. “If we win we get to do an encore! And not to be cocky but did you see that performance? We are so going to win!”

 

“I’m sorry, Rach” Santana said softly and pulled her hand out of Rachel’s grip. “It’s just really hot in here and I need some air.”

 

“So let’s go outside” Rachel said softly, concern now painted on her features. “Let’s get some air and cool off and come back.”

 

“I can’t” Santana shook her head and nudged passed Rachel softly. She looked at Emily who looked just as concerned as Rachel and gave her head a firm shake that said more than any words could have. “I’ll be alright” She glanced back to Rachel and offered a smile “I think I might have had too much to drink. I’m just going to go home and lay down.”

 

Rachel perked an eyebrow and looked at Santana’s cup. One drink? Santana had literally had one drink in the hour they had been there and all she had at dinner had been water. But she wouldn’t push it. She just nodded and gave her friend a soft smile “Let me know when you get home, at least?”

 

“Sure” Santana nodded then looked at Emily again. Her eyes narrowed into a scowl for a brief second before she shook it off “Don’t stay out too late.”

 

Emily just nodded then looked down at her hands. She knew Santana was upset at her but she wasn’t sure why. She had behaved herself that night. She had kept her distance from Paige, for the most part. She thought they were having a good time. She almost wanted to get up and follow her cousin but she knew that would do no good. So she just stared at her hands in guilt and wondered what she had done wrong this time. Sometimes Santana was too moody for her own good. She just hoped whatever it was she could right so that they wouldn’t be at each others throats for the rest of her visit.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Santana let out a sigh as she ran a towel through her hair. As soon as she had gotten home she had stripped off her clothes and gotten into the shower in hopes of washing away whatever it was that was consuming her. Flashes of Rachel rebounded around in her head. She had to shake them away and push down the feeling in her stomach each time the words “What is this feeling?” popped into her head. This had to stop. She couldn’t go down this road for so many reasons.

 

She threw her towel to the floor in frustration and fell backwards onto her bed. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and pressed her fingers into the bridge of her nose. She had no idea what she was going to do. She couldn’t spend the rest of her life avoiding Rachel because of some weird tingly sensation she got each time the girl got near her. This was worse than the time she realized she was in love with Brittany because this time she had lived through it once already and knew it was just as scary as the first time. Not that she was in love with Rachel or anything.

 

She shook away the thought and stood up. She went over to her window and looked down at the streets below. New York had held such potential for her. A new start. New people. But she ended up living with her old high school enemy, although not really an enemy at all if she was being honest, turned best friend. Just when she had really started accepting that Rachel was her best friend her stupid cousin had to stroll into town and start talking about how Rachel was perfect for her? No.

 

“Santana?” A soft voice broke through Santana’s thoughts and caused her to jump. She whirled around quickly, her eyes wide, and a hand to her heart. When she realized it was Rachel standing behind her, the fear faded, and an awkward twist was felt in her gut.

 

“When did you get here?” Santana mumbled, taking a deep breath to calm herself down.

 

“I literally just walked in” Rachel pointed behind herself then stepped into Santana’s room. “I guess you didn’t hear the door open.”

 

“I guess not” Santana shrugged. She had been completely buried in her own head so not hearing the door made sense. “What are you doing home so soon?”

 

“You didn’t text me when you got home so I got worried” Rachel shrugged and moved to sit on the edge of Santana’s bed. She was pulling worriedly at her own fingers as she eyed her friend. She bit her lip and shrugged again “Are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine” Santana waved her concern off and rolled her eyes. “Like I said, I just didn’t feel too good. That place was packed and it’s been a while since I’ve really been out in a crowd like that. I guess I’m losing my touch.” She moved to sit next to Rachel and suddenly felt naked in just her tshirt and boy shorts. She grabbed a pillow and casually pulled it over her legs as if she needed it to lean on.

 

“Oh” Rachel nodded and looked down at her hands now. She was quiet for a moment before she looked up and took a deep breath “I thought maybe I upset you. I mean you left right after we sang. I know you’re not like the biggest musical theater fan but I thought you liked that song at least.”

 

“It was fine” Santana said with a roll of her eyes and a soft laugh. She reached out and put a hand on Rachel’s shoulder, trying to comfort her worries a bit. She opened her mouth to explain it away but nothing came out. She honestly had no reason to storm out like that. The song had been innocent enough. She actually did like the song and she loved singing with Rachel. So how did she explain why she had left?

 

“You’ve been acting really weird ever since Emily got here” Rachel said bluntly as she turned on the bed to face her a bit better. 

 

“I know” Santana said with a shrug and dropped her hand away from her friend. How did she explain why she had been acting weird, though? So she just shrugged “I love Emily, don’t get me wrong, and I am glad she came to visit. But she has just brought a whole bunch of my past with her, unintentionally of course. I guess you can’t stop what comes with family.” She let out a sigh and just shook her head “She was my only real friend for a long time and when I see her I guess I remember what my past was like and, I don’t know, that puts me in a weird place.”

 

Rachel nodded very softly. She didn’t really understand because, well, the only family members she had were her fathers. She had also had a very different upbringing than Santana. Her house was filled with love and acceptance from a very early age. Santana’s family was full of wild cards. Her parents had accepted her being gay but her grandmother? Rachel didn’t even know about any of the other members of her family and how they had reacted either. She just reached out and put a hand on Santana’s arm, since her legs were covered, and gave her a soft squeeze “If you need to talk, I’m here. I’d also be willing to help put up a hotel for her if her staying here is too much?”

 

“No it’s fine” Santana said with a soft smile. Her eyes were locked on Rachel’s fingers that were gripping her arm. Goosebumps lifted on her arm and she hoped Rachel didn’t notice. “I think we just need to have a talk. She honestly is one of the sweetest people in the world and I shouldn’t be holding anything against her. She’s one of my best friends. I have to remember she is on my side. One of the very few in my family on my side, actually. I guess just seeing her in the flesh reminded me of how much I do still miss my family, despite everything.”

 

Rachel nodded and gave another squeeze to Santana’s arm “Well maybe one day you should go home and visit. Maybe they’ve come around.”

 

Santana let out a soft laugh and lifted her eyes to find Rachel’s “Doubtful, but maybe.” She gave a nod of her head and when Rachel smiled at her words, she smiled back. It wasn’t the real reason she had been acting weird but it seemed legitimate enough that Rachel had bought it. So she would just kind of go with that for now until she could figure herself out and stop acting like a twelve year old with a crush. “Oh hey” She said after a moment, her smile growing a bit “Did we win?”

 

Rachel let out a soft laugh and turned to her purse. She reached in and grabbed out a wad of cash, lifting it to show Santana with a wide smile on her lips “Like there was any doubt?”

 

Santana let out a laugh at that. There really wasn’t any doubt in her mind at all. Those two singing together was a gift from the Heavens.

 

“Here” Rachel started to count out Santana’s half of the money. “You earned it.”

 

“Don’t” Santana lifted her hand and put it over Rachel’s, shaking her head. “Keep it.”

 

“I don’t need it” Rachel said with a shake of her head.

 

“Me neither” Santana shrugged. That was kind of a lie. She wasn’t exactly rolling in the dough but she also didn’t like charity. Even if she had earned it.

 

“San” Rachel frowned and folded her arms.

 

“Rach” Santana mocked Rachel’s tone. The girls were locked in a stare down for a few moments before Santana finally laughed and took the money “I’m putting it in our vacation fund anyway.”

 

“Fair enough. I’ll add mine then too” Rachel grinned and hopped off the bed now. She went over to the jar on Santana’s dresser and pushed the cash into it. She turned around to face her friend with a nod “There we are. One step closer to Paris!”

 

“Greece” Santana mumbled and moved to put her cash into the jar too.

 

“Undecided” Rachel shrugged and gave a smile.

 

Santana just rolled her eyes at that. They had decided a year ago that they should go on a vacation but neither of them could agree where they wanted to go. So they just collected money until the day they had enough to go anywhere in the world. Santana would go where ever Rachel wanted but if she could convince her to go somewhere she wanted to go instead? Well that would just be an added bonus.

 

“So” Rachel said with a little shrug as her hands dropped to her side and patted at her legs.

 

“So?” Santana said with an arched eyebrow and a laugh. Then she looked around and back to Rachel with a shrug “Wait, where’s Emily?”

 

Rachel bit her lip and looked down at her feet. She gave a little shrug and took a step backwards away from Santana “I suggested that maybe she and Paige should stay out a bit longer. They were having fun and, you know, since you were gone they didn’t have to behave anymore...”

 

Santana rolled her eyes and let out a sigh “Rachel, seriously?”

 

“What?” Rachel frowned and shrugged her shoulders. “It’s not like I’m pushing them together or setting them up. They have already passed that point. Now they just want a little time alone together. It’s not a crime.”

 

“I asked you to butt out” Santana grunted in frustration.

 

“I am!” Rachel lifted her hands in surrender. “I just told them they didn’t have to come back with me. I figured she would be fine. She’s a few blocks away with Paige who knows her way around. It’s no big deal.”

 

Santana rolled her eyes and lifted her hand to pinch at the bridge of her nose. She was getting a headache from all of this. There was too much worrying, too much thinking, and too much avoiding what’s really going on. She finally just dropped her hand away from her face and looked up at Rachel with a shrug “Fine. I know, she’s an adult and she can take care of herself. But if Paige hurts her...”

 

“It’s her heart to break, Santana” Rachel whispered softly.

 

Santana nodded and reached up to slide her hand through her hair with a sigh “I know but I still wish I could protect her.”

 

“I know” Rachel stepped up to her friend and put a hand on each of her shoulders. She gave her a smile and nodded her head “You try to protect everyone you love and I love that about you. But you have to let her make her own decisions, her own mistakes. You let me and look where I am now.”

 

Santana gave her friend a smile and nodded in agreement. She had definitely sat back and let Rachel make her fair share of mistakes but she was always there to help her fix them. Santana bit her lip and when her eyes met Rachel’s her heart fluttered a little bit. Rachel had just said she loved something about her. Although she had meant it as a friend, of course, the words made Santana tingle a little. The thought that Rachel loved her even a little made her toes curl against the carpet a bit. She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly before looking away with a clearing of her throat “You’re right.”

 

“For what it’s worth” Rachel said softly, dropping her hands off Santana’s shoulders and running them along her arms lightly “Paige is a good girl. The last thing she is ever going to want to do is hurt Emily. But there is something between them that is pretty undeniable and I think they both understand the risk they are taking.”

 

Goosebumps lifted on Santana’s arms where Rachel’s fingers rubbed against her. A shiver she couldn’t control ripped through her and she cleared her throat again before stepping away from Rachel and moving to her bed as if she needed something. “You wanna watch a movie or something?”

 

Rachel blinked quickly at the sudden change of subject. She turned to watch Santana fiddle with the pillows on her bed, folding her arms as she stood there watching. “Uh, sure” She said with a shrug. “You wanna watch one in here?”

 

“What? No” Santana let out an awkward laugh and glanced at Rachel before looking back at her bedding she was messing with “Why would you say that?”

 

“Because it looks like you are preparing your bed” Rachel pointed at the blankets and let out a soft laugh. The laugh wasn’t an amused one, though. It was barely a laugh at all. She watched Santana move about and shook her head again “Okay, seriously, what is your deal tonight? It’s like you can’t sit still. What’s going on?”

 

“Nothing” Santana snapped as she tossed down a pillow. She looked at Rachel with a fire in her eyes that would usually stun the other girl into submission. But she hadn’t actually done anything wrong and as soon as Santana saw the hurt look on Rachel’s face she let out a sigh and shook her head “I’m sorry. I’m a bit on edge. Work is really stressing me out lately. I don’t know. I didn’t mean to snap.”

 

“It’s okay” Rachel said with a slight nod of her head. She moved toward the sheet doorway of the room and paused before leaving “I will go set up the living room for a movie then. Just come out and join me when you are ready.”

 

“No, wait” Santana held up a hand in Rachel’s direction to stop her even if she was way out of reach. When Rachel paused, Santana let out a heavy breath and shook her head “We can watch it in here. But you can’t crash in my bed this time, okay? Em is sleeping with me and it will be super weird to try and fit all three of us in here. So one movie and then you go to your own bed, okay?”

 

Rachel smiled very softly and nodded her head quickly “Fair enough. I’ll go get the popcorn and the dvd!” With a happy little squeak she turned and skipped out of the room.

 

Santana let out a long sigh and looked at her bed. Without even realizing it she had made it up for the two of them to watch a movie together. She had been trying to busy herself and had ended up setting them up for the last thing Santana had wanted. She wasn’t sure she could handle laying next to Rachel in bed all night watching a movie. She looked down at her still bare legs and decided to pull on some sweats. Just as she was tying them on Rachel came back into the room.

 

“So” Rachel moved to set the popcorn and some napkins on the bed before taking the dvd to the player on Santana’s dresser. She put the disc in, turned on the tv, then grabbed the remote and tossed it on the bed. “I decided to go old school with ‘Some Kind Of Wonderful’. What do you think?”

 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen it” Santana shrugged and climbed into her bed, propping herself up on the pillows behind her. She folded her legs and pulled the popcorn toward herself.

 

“What?” Rachel gasped and looked at her as if she had three heads. “How is it that we have lived together for over two years and you have never seen it?”

 

Santana shrugged as she chewed on a piece of popcorn “Between you and Lady Hummel you have so many movies I don’t think you could actually cycle through them all in a lifetime. Yet you both insisted on watching the same five movies over and over again.”

 

Rachel huffed out a laugh and nodded at that. It was true. When Kurt used to live with them they spent the majority of the time re-watching their favorite musicals or classic black and white movies. “Well this one is a classic. I think you’ll like it. It’s from the 80’s but it’s John Hughes so you can’t really go wrong.”

 

“Well what’s it about?” Santana crunched on another piece of popcorn.

 

Rachel smiled as she moved out of Santana’s sheet doorway and into her own just a few feet away. Since there were no real walls she could talk loudly and Santana could hear her “It’s about this girl who is best friends with this boy and they are both kind of on the lower end of the social ladder in high school. Her best friend asks out the most popular girl in school...”

 

Santana let out a soft laugh to herself. Sounded almost like Rachel and Finn dating only Rachel didn’t have a loser best friend in high school. She had just kind of been a loner. She frowned at that. Santana kind of regretted the way she had treated Rachel in high school. 

 

“Anyway” Rachel walked back into the room pulling up her hair. She had changed out of her clothes and was now in a tank top and some silky pj bottoms. She climbed up onto the bed next to Santana and grabbed the remote. “So the unpopular boy dating the popular girl causes a lot of trouble with the popular girl’s ex boyfriend who is a rich jerk.” She crawled under the blankets, leaned into the pillows behind her, and pointed the remote at the tv “All the while the girl realizes she has feelings for her best friend but it’s too late because he is dating the popular girl.”

 

Santana arched an eyebrow at that. It sounded all too familiar. Except for the fact that Santana and Brittany had been popular, it was a story close to home. She rolled her eyes and looked at Rachel with a shake of her head “You know I should refuse to watch this.”

 

“Why?” Rachel asked with a little whine in her voice. She turned and gave Santana her best pouty face.

 

“Because” Santana shrugged and took some more popcorn as the movie started to roll on the screen. “Because I wanted nothing to do with anything coupley tonight. Also, this sounds a lot like what I went through in high school, only I wasn’t a loser.”

 

“That was years ago” Rachel said with a roll of her eyes, laughing softly. “It’s not like that is a fresh wound.”

 

Santana rolled her eyes and tossed popcorn at Rachel “If I refuse to watch it now you won’t let it go until I watch it so I will just watch it but I will have you know I will be grumbling the entire time.”

 

“You grumble through everything anyway” Rachel rolled her eyes and let out a laugh. “Now be quiet, it’s starting.”

 

Santana grunted and sat back on the pillows. The two of them stared at the screen as the movie played out. There was relative silence between them, which was rare, because Rachel was a movie talker and Santana usually made fun of everything in movies that she didn’t like, but tonight there was nothing. When they both reached into the bowl of popcorn at the same time and Santana’s fingers brushed Rachel’s, her hand froze. She swallowed hard and waited for Rachel’s hand to move. She glanced out of the corner of her eye and when Rachel didn’t even seem to notice, Santana let out a silent breath of relief. Just a casual accidental brush of a hand, nothing to freak about.

 

They managed to go most of the movie without talking. As the story unfolded and it was obvious the best friend was about to get hurt, Santana felt her heart pounding harder and harder. She could feel every bit of pain the girl on screen was feeling. She had definitely lived a version of this story and it had sucked. Then she glanced over at Rachel and her heart skipped around in her chest. Though her past story was similar to the one on screen she was starting to think it might be a little bit of history repeating itself at the moment. Stupid Emily! Why did she have to go and point out that Santana was so obviously into Rachel. She let out a sigh at that. She still wasn’t convinced. She thought it was just Emily’s words playing a prank on her.

 

Then the climax of the movie played out and Santana found herself trembling. Her mouth went dry. She stared at the screen and barely heard the dialogue over the sound of her heart pounding in her ears. As it all played out and the happily ever after ending rolled along, Santana lifted a hand to her cheek and wiped at a tear. She sniffled and as the credits rolled her eyes fell to her hands. She was kind of a sap, that was something Rachel knew, so maybe her crying wouldn’t be too out of character for her. She really hoped that Rachel wouldn’t ask because she didn’t want to keep lying to the girl.

 

“Aww” Rachel cooed as she looked at Santana. She had teared up herself but not like Santana had. She reached over and rubbed at her friend’s back with a little laugh “Those are definitely not sad tears. I think you liked it! It touched you didn’t it?”

 

“Shut up” Santana rolled her eyes, wiping at another tear before using her hand to push Rachel away. “That was a mean thing to do to me. You should have warned me.”

 

“I did” Rachel said with a soft laugh. She lifted the remote and turned the dvd player off.

 

“Fine” Santana shrugged and moved the popcorn off the bed and put it onto her bedside table. She took a deep breath, wiped her eyes again, then slid out of the bed. “I’m going to go call Em to make sure she is okay, brush my teeth, then call it a night.”

 

Rachel nodded to her friend and watched her leave the room with a smile. She was glad Santana had liked the movie. She was a little scared because she was so anti-couple that night but it seemed to have been alright which was great because it was one of Rachel’s favorites.

 

Santana took about ten minutes. The phone call with Emily had gone long but had finally ended with Santana demanding she get home sometime before sunrise. She sounded so much like a mom sometimes. She had to laugh at herself for that. Once she had finished with brushing her teeth she had stumbled back into her room with a heavy yawn, more than ready to get to sleep. She clicked off her light, plugged in her phone, then climbed into bed. That’s when she realized Rachel was still in bed. She sighed and gave her a poke “Rachel you have to go to your own bed.”

 

Rachel didn’t move. As soon as Santana had left the room she had rolled over, realized she was exhausted, and passed out. She had done it so many times before she didn’t think Santana would care.

 

Santana frowned when Rachel didn’t answer. Damn it. She settled on her back and yawned loudly. She made sure none of her body touched Rachel. She slid away from the girl in bed and tucked some of the blanket around herself to prevent herself from accidentally brushing up against Rachel. This was so awkward. Maybe she should just go lay on the couch. There was no way she was going to get to sleep now worrying about accidentally touching Rachel in her sleep and giving away some sort of hint that she liked it. Ugh, stupid Emily! She was just about to give up and go sleep on the couch when Rachel rolled over. A tiny arm slid around her waist and Rachel’s head laid against her shoulder. Santana froze. Great, now she really couldn’t move!

 

So she stayed. She laid there, barely breathing, eyes on the top of Rachel’s head. She was afraid to breathe too hard and wake the girl up. She wasn’t sure if she was even in her body anymore. All of her was numb. All she could feel was the hot breath from Rachel on her neck. She finally managed to close her eyes after a few long hours. Maybe if she could manage to drift off Rachel would move and she would be able to sleep regularly. Part of her wanted nothing more than to roll away from Rachel and fall asleep. A bigger part of her, the part of her that knew Emily’s accusation was true, wanted Rachel to lay against her like that all night.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	4. Sorry I just dropped a bomb

The sun was barely peeking in through the windows around the loft when Emily slowly slid the door open, trying to be as quiet as possible about it. Santana had told her to be home before sunrise and, well, she obviously hadn’t listened. The last thing she wanted was to make her cousin mad. But she and Paige had been cuddled up on Paige’s bed in her dorm watching a movie and both of them had fallen asleep. So now she was hoping she could sneak into the loft without Santana realizing she had been gone all night. 

 

With the door open just enough for her to fit through it, she paused and listened. She was holding her breath and after a full minute of silence she let out a heavy sigh. She hadn’t woken up Santana. She smiled softly and turned around now to face Paige. She bit her lip very softly and reached up to slide her hand along her cheek lightly “Thank you for tonight. I had an amazing time.”

 

Paige nodded, giving the girl a very soft smile as her hand slid around Emily’s waist. She pulled her until their hips were pressed together before leaning in to kiss very gently at her lips just once “Thank you for singing with me.”

 

Emily laughed very softly, giving her a nod before leaning up to kiss at her lips just once in return “Thank you for making me.”

 

The two of them exchanged a few more soft kisses before Emily finally managed to force herself away from Paige. She took a few steps into the loft and gave her a little wave with just three fingers on one hand “Get some rest.”

 

Paige nodded her head very slowly and returned the wave as she started to take a few slow steps backwards “Sweet dreams, Em.”

 

Emily giggled to herself and leaned against the wall as she watched Paige walk away. She didn’t move to close the loft door until she saw Paige step into the elevator and disappear from view. She bit her bottom lip again, let out a dreamy sigh, and slowly pushed the door closed. She turned and put her back to the door and waited. She listened and waited and when again she heard nothing she smiled. She was going to get away with this. She quietly kicked off her shoes and tip toed toward Santana’s room. Maybe she could slide in next to her and pretend she had been there all night.

 

She pushed the sheet door to the side and stepped in but paused just one step into the room. She couldn’t help the smile that came to her lips. In the soft dull light of the morning sun coming through the windows she saw her cousin laying in bed with her arms wrapped around Rachel who was laying against her chest. She put a hand to her heart and stood there just staring, silently swooning, and tempted to take a picture for blackmail.

 

Santana drew in a deep breath as she stirred from sleep in that moment. She could see the faint light from the sun through her closed eyelids and slowly each nerve from her eyes downward were waking up. As soon as feeling came to her arms, she flexed them, and immediately realized they were holding something. Suddenly it all came back to her. The karaoke, the movie, and the fact that Rachel had fallen asleep in her bed. Now it was morning and she was not only still in bed with Rachel but she was holding her. 

 

Her eyes shot open and she looked down immediately. She was greeted with the top of the smaller girl’s head. All she could see was brown hair. All she could hear was her soft breathing. She blinked a few times, shifted her arm to move her hand along Rachel’s back, and let out a sigh. This was real. She was really waking up with Rachel Berry in her arms.

 

Emily’s eyes went wide when she realized her cousin was waking up. She quickly back pedaled out of the room and toward the couch. She figured she could lay down, pull a blanket over herself, and make it look like she had crashed out there.

 

Santana’s heart was thundering in her chest. What did she do? There was no way she would be able to fall back to sleep now. It was early and she didn’t really want to be awake but how could she go back to sleep now that she knew Rachel Berry was in her arms? She let out a soft sigh and moved her hand along Rachel’s back slowly. Maybe if she just laid there and pretended she didn’t like the feel of this she would be able to doze off again.

 

Then Rachel shifted. She let out a soft moaning sound and rolled away from Santana. She curled up with her back to Santana, pulled the blanket around herself more tightly, and stilled again.

 

Santana’s heart had almost jumped out of her chest when Rachel had moved. She thought she was about to wake up and then how would Santana explain how they were sleeping? Not that it was her fault. Stupid Rachel had fallen asleep in her bed when she told her not to. It was stupid Rachel who had rolled over onto her, too. Stupid Rachel. But now she missed the contact with Rachel. Her head rolled to the side and she stared at her back. She desperately wanted her to come back.

 

Santana was still for a long time. She wanted to put up the illusion that she was asleep just in case Rachel really had woken up when she moved. When she thought it was safe she slowly rolled to her side so she was now facing Rachel’s back. She smiled at the way that Rachel’s hair was spread all over her pillow. The long locks somehow still looked flawless even though she had been asleep on them all night. She reached out and gently let her fingers slide over the ends of Rachel’s hair, toying with the ends very gently.

 

Rachel stirred again. This time instead of moving she let out a yawn and her eyes blinked open. It took her a moment to put together where she was and when she finally realized she was in Santana’s bed, she smiled slightly. Oops, she had fallen asleep in bed with her roommate. Not the first time that had happened. She just hoped Santana wasn’t annoyed since she had told her she couldn’t do that the night before.

 

Santana realized Rachel was waking up and quickly she rolled away from the girl. She let out a heavy yawn, sat up in bed, and lifted her arms over her head in a stretch. She put her feet on the floor, ran a hand through her hair, then stood up slowly. She was trying to be as casual as possible just like any other time she and Rachel had fallen asleep after a movie. It had happened numerous times before and the next morning the first to rise would make coffee and they would just start their days as usual. So that was what she was going to do. She padded around the bed, out of her room, and headed to the kitchen to start the coffee.

 

Rachel rolled to her back a moment after Santana left the room. She stretched, sat up, yawned, and smiled. She felt like every time she and Santana watched a movie then fell asleep they woke up a little closer. She had felt like Santana had really needed some sort of cheering up the night before and she felt like the mission had been accomplished. Maybe Santana could get back to smiling now. So while Santana made coffee, Rachel got out of bed and started making Santana’s bed even though she knew it annoyed her when she did that. 

 

It wasn’t until the coffee was nearly half brewed that Santana had stepped out of the bathroom and realized there was someone on the couch. For a split second she had no idea who it was then it hit her. Emily. She shook her head and walked over to the couch. She gave her a smile, reached down to take her foot, and gave it a little shake “Rise and shine, sleepy head. I’m making coffee and I want to hear about your night.”

 

Emily, doing her best acting, rolled over and yawned. She tried to look like she had just woken up. She looked up and blinked her eyes a few times before nodding and yawning again “Good morning.”

 

“Yeah I bet it’s a good morning” Santana laughed and pushed her cousin’s legs off the couch so she could sit down. She gave her a little knowing smirk and folded her arms “So what did you and Paige do after Callbacks?”

 

Emily rolled her eyes and sat up. She shook her head and yawned for real now. Once it passed she shrugged and folded her hands together “We just went back to her dorm room and watched a movie for a while. Nothing too exciting.”

 

Santana eyed her cousin carefully, really carefully, trying to read her. She stared for a few long moments before finally nodding her head. She stood up now from the couch and pointed to the kitchen “You want some coffee?”

 

“Please” Emily nodded and let out a soft sigh. She was glad Santana didn’t seem upset. She had told the truth but she hadn’t been back by sunrise like Santana had asked so she had expected her to be upset. Then again, she had been cuddling with Rachel all night so how could she had even noticed? Emily smirked at that. She would have to bring that up when they were alone.

 

“Mmm coffee” Rachel groaned as she walked out of Santana’s room, pulling her hair up off her shoulders to contain her wild sleep tossed hair. “Thank you so much.”

 

“Mhm” Santana offered a soft smile and set a cup down in front of Rachel already creamed and sweetened to her liking. After two years you learn how someone likes their coffee.

 

“Em?” Santana motioned to the coffee “Cream? Sugar?”

 

“I got it” Emily got up now and rushed over to the kitchen. “You should have let me make the coffee for everyone. I was a barista, remember?”

 

“It’s just coffee” Santana rolled her eyes as she sat down and took a sip from her cup. She watched her cousin fiddle around with her coffee for a moment before laughing and looking across the table at Rachel “How’d you sleep?”

 

“Amazingly” Rachel nodded, smiling over the top of her coffee before taking a sip.

 

“I’m not surprised. You passed out before I could finish brushing my teeth. I think you like my bed better than yours.”

 

Rachel shook her head and just shrugged “I was just really tired. I didn’t do it on purpose.”

 

“Mhm” Santana hummed and smirked into her coffee. She didn’t mind, she really didn’t, but she had to pretend to at least be a little annoyed.

 

Emily smirked over her coffee. She was watching them interact and she thought it was the cutest thing. The fact that Santana was pretending she had totally hated having snuggled Rachel all night was adorable.

 

A silence fell over the girls as they sipped at their coffee and slowly woke up. After a few minutes Santana let out a yawn and stood up from the kitchen table “I’m going to shower and get ready for work.” She turned and looked at her cousin as she set her mug on the counter “What are you plans for the day?”

 

“I’m going to get some sleep” Emily said with a soft laugh. 

 

“Oh, right, because you were out all night with Paige” Santana smirked, giving her a teasing nudge.

 

“Oh la la” Rachel chimed in, which made Emily blush brightly. “What did you ladies end up doing?”

 

“Not that!” Emily’s eyes went wide and she shook her head as her eyes dropped to her coffee cup. “We just watched a movie back at her dorm.”

 

“Better be careful with that movie watching. One minute you’re innocently watching movies, the next you are sleeping in the same bed. Who knows what’s next” Santana smirked and glanced at Rachel, joking with both girls now since Rachel had not so stealthily fallen asleep in her bed the night before.

 

“Like you two?” Emily smirked and gave a cocky little head tilt that looked way too similar to Santana’s.

 

Santana opened her mouth to argue but nothing came out. She just huffed and gave her cousin a nudge. “Not what I meant.”

 

“Yeah, Santana and I are just friends” Rachel said very nonchalantly with a shrug. “Doesn’t change the fact that, yes, watching movies together will eventually lead to you sleeping in the same bed. I mean if two friends end up doing that just imagine what two girls who are all head over heels twitterpated with each other will end up doing...”

 

Santana felt like she had been punched in a gut a little. She knew that Rachel saw them as just friends but hearing it just then did kind of suck. But she put on a weak smirk and tried to continue teasing her cousin “Yeah just imagine what two girls who actually like each other could end up doing.”

 

“Stop” Emily whined and set down her coffee now. She looked at her cousin and scowled before rolling her eyes “You were so against me and Paige last night and now you are encouraging me to watch movies with her and see what else happens?”

 

“No!” Santana pointed at her with a laugh “I said you better be careful so that doesn’t happen.” She gave a soft hmph sound then headed toward the bathroom. “And I mean it. No more movie watching.” With that she waved them both off and went into the bathroom so Emily couldn’t argue anymore. That and so she didn’t have to look at Rachel anymore. She didn’t want to think about being just friends with her at that moment.

 

Rachel laughed to herself and finished her coffee before getting up and going to the sink to rinse her cup. Once she had it cleaned out and set aside to dry she looked at Emily and gave her a smile “I am going to head to the gym if you want to join?”

 

“Thanks” Emily said with a shrug as she set her cup aside as well “But I really do need a few hours of sleep. We were up really late.”

 

“Alright” Rachel smirked and looked the girl over before walking slowly toward her room. “Do you think you and Paige would like to come to my show tonight?”

 

“Maybe” Emily said with a nod as she moved to the couch. She sat down with a heavy sigh that turned into a long yawn. Once it passed she laughed and glanced back toward Rachel’s sheet walls where she had disappeared into the room. “I can let you know later, right? I am going to have lunch with Paige once she is done with swimming.”

 

“Of course” Rachel called through the sheets. She had pulled on her workout clothes and pulled her hair up into a ponytail before she left the room and walked across the loft to the bathroom. Without hesitation she walked in and went right over to the sink to grab her toothbrush. She glanced over at the shower where Santana was silhouetted against the curtain before looking back in the mirror. “I’m going to the gym” She yelled over the sound of the running water.

 

Santana froze. She had not heard Rachel come into the bathroom and now that she knew she was there she was suddenly all too aware of the fact that she was naked and wet just feet away from Rachel. They had shared a bathroom for two years and gotten into the habit of coming in to use the mirror while the other was in the shower. It was no big deal. Except now that she was suddenly aware of what she was feeling for Rachel, it was a big deal. A huge deal. But she had to act like it wasn’t. So she took a breath, closed her eyes, and nodded “Have fun. Don’t get mugged.”

 

No joke about how the gym doesn’t trigger growth so she could reach a height that wasn’t troll-like? No jokes about how there wasn’t a workout that would make her face better looking? Rachel perked an eyebrow into the mirror as she moved her toothbrush around her mouth. Even if they were friends and Santana didn’t actually hate her, she never passed up a chance to make a joke at Rachel’s expense. But no jokes this time? Maybe it was too early for her wits to be awake? Maybe she was being nice because Emily was here? Either way, it was weird. 

 

Rachel leaned down to spit out her toothpaste then glanced at the shower again “I just wanted to tell you bye before I left since I’d be gone before you got out.” She finished brushing her teeth and rinsing her mouth before she cleared her throat and spoke up once more “Have a good day at work, San.” With that, she left the bathroom, her mind still reeling at the fact that Santana hadn’t made a single crack about her going to the gym.

 

Santana gritted her teeth and let out a heavy sigh. Damn it. Rachel knew something was up. She could tell by her tone. She should have made a troll joke! She shook her head and turned to put her face under the stream of water. Pull yourself together, Lopez! She had to stay sharp or Rachel would start to suspect something was wrong.

 

By the time Rachel left the bathroom Emily was asleep on the couch. She let out a soft laugh as she grabbed her phone and headed for the door. These Lopez girls were nothing short of a wonderment in her life. She was so glad Emily had come to visit them.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“So Rachel wants to know if we want to go to her show tonight” Emily said with a smile as she set down her cup and looked across the table at Paige. The two of them had met up just after noon and were now just finishing their lunch.

 

“Do you?” Paige returned the question with a shrug.

 

Emily shrugged too but smiled “I think it could be fun. I have always wanted to see a Broadway show.”

 

Paige nodded and set down her cup after taking a drink “Then let’s go. We could grab dinner after if you like?”

 

Emily nodded her head quickly “That sounds amazing.”

 

Paige smiled softly “Then it’s a date.”

 

“Oh, a date?” Emily teased, giving her a playful wink.

 

Paige let out a laugh and rolled her eyes “Isn’t that what you call it every time we hang out now?”

 

Emily thought about it a moment then lifted a shoulder in a shrug “Well I guess but I don’t actually remember you ever technically asking me out.”

 

Paige dipped her head and let out a laugh before shrugging her shoulders as well “Let me just put it this way for you. I am not currently hanging out with any other girls. You are the only one I see in any capacity on a regular basis with the exclusion of my teammates, coaches, and roommate. So” She looked up slowly at Emily and gave her a little half smile “Take that as you will.”

 

Emily blushed slightly and looked down now. She bit at her lip and drew in a deep breath before looking up finally and nodding at her “I like the sound of that.”

 

“Good” Paige nodded and reached across the table to take Emily’s hand in her own.

 

Emily gave Paige’s hand a little squeeze before letting out a sigh. She stared at her for a long time before breaking the silence that had fallen between them. “So Santana knows I didn’t come home last night and now she won’t stop making jokes about being careful about watching movies with you.”

 

“Why?” Paige laughed softly at that. “Movies are harmless.”

 

“She says that at first it’s innocent but if we aren’t careful we will end up sleeping in the same bed and you know what happens to people who sleep in the same bed together” Emily rolled her eyes and let out a laugh.

 

“That’s ridiculous” Paige mumbled through an amused smile.

 

“That’s what I said especially since she tried to use her and Rachel as an example.”

 

“What?” Paige almost spit out the water she had just taken a sip of.

 

“No, no!” Emily held up her hands and frowned. She shook her head and waited for Paige to look at her before she sighed “Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. Santana was just like hey be careful or the next thing you know you two will be sleeping in the same bed.” She smiled softly and shrugged her shoulders “I totally walked in on the two of them snuggling this morning. I guess Rachel passed out in her bed after a movie last night. I guess that’s what she was getting at.”

 

“They were snuggling?” Paige smiled slowly and let out a laugh. “Really?”

 

Emily laughed too and nodded her head “It was so cute.”

 

Paige smiled at that. She could totally imagine the two of them snuggled together. Rachel was so tiny she could imagine it was pretty cute.

 

“Any way” Emily waved it off with a smile. The way Paige was smiling was contagious and she couldn’t stop her own smile. “I think she is afraid we are going to sleep together which is really none of her business either way but, yeah, I think that was the point of the comparison she was going for.”

 

Paige nodded her head a bit and shrugged slightly. She thought about it a moment then cleared her throat to speak softly “You’re right. It’s none of her business either way.”

 

Emily perked an eyebrow slightly and stared at Paige a moment. The words held a lot of meaning. They meant that Paige wasn’t weirded out about the thought of them sleeping together. They meant that whether it happened or not it didn’t seem to be a big deal. It meant that maybe Paige didn’t think of Emily in that way? Emily frowned at the last thought and let out a sigh. Was Paige not thinking of her in that way? Why not?

 

Paige watched Emily’s face and after a moment she reached out and took her hand to draw her from her thoughts. “You alright over there?”

 

Emily blinked and shook her head, giving Paige a smile “Yeah. I was just thinking about what you said. You are right. Santana doesn’t need to know either way because what we do as two consenting adults is only our business.”

 

“Exactly” Paige nodded then sipped at her water. “So” She cleared her throat and slipped out of her seat now, offering her hand to Emily “Let me walk you back to their place so you can rest up before we hit Broadway tonight.”

 

Emily nodded and reached out to take Paige’s hand. She smiled as their fingers laced together and they moved out into the busy city streets. Regardless of whether or not Paige had thought of her in that way, Emily couldn’t deny she made her feel special. Now she had to convince herself to stop thinking about maybe sleeping with Paige until she knew for sure that Paige was thinking the same thing.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Emily had invited Paige in once she realized Rachel was home from the gym. After telling her that the two of them would love to attend her show that night, Rachel had gone into her room to make a call to get some tickets for them and Paige and Emily settled on the couch.

 

Emily glanced over her shoulder toward where Rachel was in her room before looking at Paige, who was watching tv, and smiling softly. “You remember how I told you I saw them cuddling this morning?”

 

Paige let out a soft laugh and turned to look at Emily with a nod “That is random, but yes.”

 

Emily nodded and her eyes shifted toward the sheet wall for a second before looking back at Paige. She shifted so she was now facing Paige on the couch and smiled slightly “Do you think maybe Rachel might like Santana too but she doesn’t know how to bring it up?”

 

Paige perked an eyebrow and looked at the wall where Rachel was still in her room. She was quiet for a few moments as she thought about it before looking at Emily and shaking her head “I don’t know, to be honest. I haven’t really heard her talk about anyone she likes. I mean I’ve obviously heard her talk about Santana but she was kind of making her sound really appealing so I would agree to go on a blind date with her.”

 

Emily nodded and puckered her lips in thought. She looked at her hands, her foot that was tucked under her leg with how she sat on the couch, then finally back to Paige. She offered her a meek smile and waved her hand to the side “Okay then, nevermind. I thought it was weird that they apparently have shared a bed more than once but maybe that is normal.”

 

Paige shrugged a bit “I mean I guess it’s normal if you share a living space with someone long enough. I never really had a best friend who I slept over with in high school and I am still kind of getting to know my teammates here so I don’t want to really share a bed with any of them. But I guess if we were close and we watched movies together in one of our beds it wouldn’t be weird to just crash together.” 

 

Emily nodded at that and gave another shrug “Right, you are totally right. It’s normal girl stuff. They are best friends. I mean Rachel went into the bathroom to brush her teeth while Santana showered. They are just so used to each other they don’t think about it.”

 

“Wait that’s weird” Paige said with a little laugh. “I don’t want anyone walking in on me while I shower. I mean, yeah, I shower after swim but I am also still in my suit rinsing that off and I change in the curtain area.” She shrugged as she thought about it “I guess maybe I am just super private but that just seems weird to me.”

 

“I thought so too but apparently it’s normal for them” Emily shrugged and turned now to look back at the tv. She let out a sigh as her eyes focused on the screen but her brain was still turning. Maybe it was just too much wishful thinking. If Rachel was into Santana at all she was the type to do something about it, right? Now that she thought about it she didn’t know anything about Rachel other than what Santana had told her.

 

“I could ask” Paige said after a few moments of silence between them. When Emily looked at her a little confused, Paige motioned to the sheet wall behind her “I could talk to Rachel and maybe see if anything comes up that hints that she might like Santana that way.”

 

“Really?” Emily smiled brightly at the thought.

 

Paige nodded and smiled at Emily’s excitement. “Yeah. I mean that whole going into the bathroom while the other is in the shower thing seems like a bit much to me. Maybe there’s something behind it?”

 

“Yeah, maybe” Emily nodded, still smiling. “But like don’t make it obvious. Just kind of mention Santana here and there and see how she reacts?”

 

Paige let out a laugh and rolled her eyes “I know how to be subtle, Em. Apparently so subtle that you didn’t even pick up on the fact that I’m so into you I kind of consider every moment together as a date.”

 

Emily blushed and dipped her head a bit. She let out a soft laugh, nodded, and looked up at Paige as she pushed some hair behind her ear “I’m not always good at picking up on subtleties so don’t feel bad.”

 

“Not at all” Paige smirked, reaching over to put her hand on Emily’s lightly. “I take it as a compliment. It means I wasn’t too overbearing.”

 

“Not at all” Emily whispered, turning her hand over and sliding her fingers through Paige’s. She gave her hand a soft squeeze and let out a little sigh. Paige had no idea how special Emily felt just being near her.

 

The two of them were caught in a stare down with their eyes locked on each other when Rachel finally came out of her room. She was all smiles as she looked at the girls “Good news, we have tickets!” She paused about four steps into the living room when she realized she had just burst in on what looked like a cute moment. She bit her lip and let out a shy laugh “Did I interrupt?”

 

“No” Emily shook her head and looked away from Paige. She let go of her hand and looked back at the tv as she fought the blush threatening to take over her cheeks. “We were just talking about how excited we are about tonight.”

 

Rachel nodded her head and let out a little giggle. “Well good thing I came through then, huh?”

 

“Very good thing” Paige turned and glanced at her friend. “Thanks, Rach.”

 

“Any time” Rachel went over and sat on the chair near the couch. She gave both of the girls a smile before looking at her phone “Santana should be off soon. I am going to leave a ticket for her at will call too, in case she wants to tag along.”

 

“I will try and convince her” Emily glanced at Rachel with a sincere smile.

 

“Thanks” Rachel shrugged a bit as she texted on her phone. “But she has seen it a few times so don’t feel bad if she says no.”

 

Emily nodded at that and looked back at the tv. She would do whatever she could to make sure Santana came along. Then they could double date to dinner afterwards. That would be nice and Paige and herself could watch them together to see if there was something more on Rachel’s side of this.

 

“My car is here so I am going to go head to the dance studio for a bit before I go to the theater” Rachel stood now and headed toward the door. “I’ll see you girls later, alright?”

 

“Oh hey” Paige stood quickly to stop her. “Can I catch a ride back to my dorm? I have some stuff to do before we hit the show.”

 

“Of course” Rachel smiled and motioned for her to join her.

 

Paige smiled and looked back at Emily. She gave her a soft, longing smile before stepping away from the couch “See you tonight, alright?”

 

“Of course” Emily whispered, smiling gently as she watched Paige move to the door. She watched the friends disappear, waving at them as they waved to her. Once the door was closed she settled back on the couch with a happy sigh. Paige was just so dreamy that she found herself swooning over the smallest things. She couldn’t believe she had found someone as amazing as Paige to hang out with. 

 

“Hey, thanks” Paige said to Rachel softly as they rode down in the elevator.

 

“You know it’s no problem at all. I have the car I might as well use it, right?” Rachel smiled and looked up at the numbers of the floors as they passed by. “Besides it will give us a few minutes to catch up on the ride. I feel like I haven’t seen you much lately.”

 

Paige smiled softly and nodded her head. She glanced at her friend and shrugged her shoulder slightly with a goofy little half smile on her lips “I’ll make it up to you.”

 

“No worries” Rachel lifted her hand to stop her from apologizing, giggling softly “I like seeing you smile so much.”

 

Paige let out a laugh and nodded slowly. She glanced up at the numbers as they passed too and the two girls rode the rest of the way to the ground floor in silence. She had to admit she did miss Rachel. But with opposite schedules and now Emily it was hard to see each other regularly. Paige silently vowed to do what she could to spend more time with her friend. Maybe she could set up a volunteer day for them at the shelter. That would be nice.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“You know I’m excited about finally getting to see your show” Paige glanced over at Rachel sitting next to her in the back seat of the car.

 

“It’s about time. Had I known it would take a pretty girl to get you into the theater I would have set you up with one a long time ago” Rachel let out a soft laugh, giving her friend a little nudge.

 

Paige rolled her eyes and gave her head a shake “You know I’ve been busy.”

 

“I know” Rachel nodded, putting her hand on her friend’s leg and giving it a soft pat. “I was teasing.”

 

“I know” Paige nodded and looked down at at her hands in her lap. She felt bad. She really had been busy with school and swimming and now that it was summer she had more time because she had no class. She had meant to see the show earlier. It just so happened that her free time correlated with meeting Emily. She looked up at Rachel after a moment and smiled “You know I would have found a way this summer even if I hadn’t met Emily, right?”

 

“Of course” Rachel nodded and gave her a sweet smile. “For what it’s worth I am glad you found someone that seems to just make you smile all the time.”

 

Paige couldn’t help but smile at that. Emily really did have a way of making her smile. She shook her head and let out a soft laugh before looking up at her friend. She took a breath and thought it might be a nice in to talk to her about Santana. “You think maybe one day you’ll find someone who makes you smile like that?”

 

Rachel shrugged and glanced out the window as the city moved passed them. “I’m not really looking. The show takes too much time to get out there and really date.”

 

Paige just nodded. She had no idea how to push further without being obvious about what she meant. “Well maybe one day you’ll just open your eyes and see that there is someone that it takes no time at all to be with.”

 

Rachel let out a soft laugh and looked at Paige now with a perked eyebrow “You sound like Emily. She’s been here a few days and has already hit me with the optimistic ‘maybe one day someone will just come along’ speech.”

 

Paige let out a sigh at that. She probably should have discussed what Emily wanted her to say. She felt like she was getting nowhere. So in true Paige McCullers style she decided to stop beating around the bush. “Look, Rach, Emily kind of mentioned to me that she thinks you and Santana might be perfect for each other and after watching you together the last few days since she mentioned it I can’t really say I disagree.”

 

Rachel let out a laugh that quickly faded to a huff that turned into a cough. She shook her head a little bit and blinked quickly. Her face fell into shock and she batted her eyes as if focusing on the invisible words that Paige had just released into the air. She took in a deep breath and shook her head again before letting out a sigh of a laugh “What?”

 

Paige took in a deep breath, let it out in a slow sigh, and just shrugged “You guys kind of act like a couple already. There’s a balance between you that each of you bring out in the other. I don’t know” She shrugged again as the car came to a stop in front of her dorms. She reached for the door and opened it before looking back at Rachel with a little bit of a guilty look on her face “Don’t tell Emily I told you that. She wanted me to hint at it but I’m not very good at that so...” She just shrugged and slid out of the car.

 

“Wait” Rachel scooted across the seat until she could look at Paige on the curb. She eyed her friend and shook her head slightly “What?”

 

Paige let out a laugh and rolled her eyes “Sorry I kind of just dropped a bomb. Forget about it. Even if you two are good around each other maybe it’s just because you are such good friends. I think Emily just wants to see her cousin happy so she’s reaching. Just forget about it. I’ll see you later tonight, alright?”

 

Before Rachel could say anything else, Paige shut the door and was walking away. Rachel just sat back and shook her head, which was left reeling by what Paige had said. She didn’t even realize the car had started toward the dance studio. She was lost in thought. She was trying to figure out what it was she had said or done the past few days to make both Emily and Paige think that she and Santana would be good together. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that probably everything they said and did gave that illusion. 

 

Now she was left wondering who else thought this. Did Santana? And if so, why wouldn’t she say something about it to make her stop it. Wait did Santana like it? There were so many questions and she had no idea where to even begin to start finding answers She had no idea if not knowing was better than the consequences that could come from knowing.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	5. Not that naive

Rachel took in a deep breath and let it out in a heavy sigh before swallowing some water. She had been at the dance studio just about an hour now but it felt like it has been days. Her mind was swirling with what Paige had said to her before she had left. Rachel couldn’t think of anything else now and it was affecting her workout.

 

“Are you alright?” The lady who ran the dance studio and helped Rachel with her workout was standing near her. “You seem a bit distracted today.”

 

Rachel nodded her head and took another drink. She wiped at her forehead and set down her water before turning to look at her and smile “I’m just fine. Just a little stiff, I guess. It’s been a busy week.”

 

Just then Rachel’s phone went off. Rachel held up her finger and gave an apologetic look before turning to grab it. She opened the message and immediately her heart started to race.

 

_ Hey I’m heading to the store after work do we need anything at home? _

 

Rachel took a deep breath and stared at her phone. It was a question Santana had asked her a thousand times and yet this time it felt different. It felt heavy. It felt like however she answered it would hold more meaning than it ever had before.

 

Sabrina, the lady would ran the dance studio, saw Rachel’s face and arched an eyebrow. She moved over to her and took the phone from her hand. “Leave it” She set it down, grabbed Rachel’s arm, and pulled her away. She brought her into the middle of the dance floor and gave her a smile “Whatever it is, dance it away. Dance until it fades. Dance until it’s not here anymore.”

 

Rachel shook her head and looked back at her phone. She couldn’t just dance it away, it was her roommate. She had to go home, eventually. She let out a sigh and opened her mouth to argue but Sabrina put a hand to her mouth and smiled “No excuses. You told me when we first met that dancing is how you relax. Whether you are nervous for a show, an audition, or have a lot going on at home this is your escape. So dance, Rachel. Escape and let it melt away. You can handle it later because now you dance.”

 

Rachel let out a heavy sigh but gave in with a nod. She was right. She just needed to dance and relax. It was the reason she had gone to the studio that day. So she smiled and gave her hands a clap “You’re totally right. Put on some music and let’s dance it out!”

 

Even as Rachel danced, though, her mind was stuck on Santana. Her eyes flickered to her phone every time she made a turn. Her thoughts swirled with every interaction she and Santana had shared the last couple of days. The dancing was not melting this away. Paige had unleashed something unexpectedly and now Rachel was left facing the consequences.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Santana frowned at her phone and tossed it into her bag before she slid the loft door open. She hadn’t heard from Rachel about needing anything at the store so she had just grabbed what she could remember needing and headed home. “Rach?” Santana called out as she walked in. She set the few grocery bags on the table and looked around. 

 

“Hey” Emily walked out of Santana’s room and gave her cousin a smile. “Rachel isn’t here, she went to the dance studio.”

 

“Damn” Santana huffed then started to pull items out of the grocery bags. “I guess that explains why she didn’t answer my text.” She shrugged and once the bags were empty, started to move around to put things away.

 

“How was work?” Emily asked with a smile as she moved to the table and started to hand Santana things each time she turned around for more.

 

“We had like forty birthdays, I swear. I spent like 90% of my day singing” Santana grumbled as she recalled the endless stream of songs. Not only did they have to sing Happy Birthday but if the birthday person had a request they had to sing that, too. It was obnoxious. “But I made a shit load of money so” Santana looked at her cousin and grinned. “What’d you do all day?”

 

“Not much” Emily shrugged and watched Santana now start to make some of the food she had just brought home. “Met Paige for lunch. Rachel got us tickets for her show tonight. I’m pretty excited.”

 

“Oh yeah?” Santana gave her cousin a smile before looking at the microwave. “You’ll have fun. It’s a good show.”

 

“You should come with us” Emily said carefully. She didn’t want to push but, really, she would love to share this experience with her cousin.

 

Santana grunted and shrugged while grabbing her food and stirring it before putting it back into the microwave. “I don’t know I kinda just wanted to relax tonight.”

 

“What’s more relaxing than a Broadway show? All you do is sit there! You don’t even have to channel surf for something good to watch.”

 

Santana let out a laugh and turned to the fridge. She grabbed out a water bottle and offered Emily one as well “You mean watch a show I’ve seen a hundred times?”

 

“A hundred times?” Emily perked an eyebrow and took the water bottle.

 

Santana rolled her eyes and took a drink. “Like thirty-seven, but who is actually counting? Still, Em, I don’t know. I mean it’s a good show and all but I don’t know if I want to sit through that again tonight.”

 

Emily let out a sigh and took a drink from her water. Well at least she tried. She wouldn’t push any further. “Well will you at least meet us for dinner after?”

 

Santana shrugged and took the food out of the microwave. She stirred it once more then moved to the table and sat down. She poked at her food then looked up at her cousin with a smile “Maybe. Although, to be honest, I don’t want to be put in that weird double date situation again. You aren’t as slick as you think you are. I know you just want to put Rach and I together again to fulfill your weird obsession of me liking her.”

 

Emily blushed and looked down. She always knew her cousin was the smart one. If anyone in the entire family could smell a scheme, it was Santana. She was the queen of scheming and it was hard to pull one over on her. When Emily looked back up at Santana she just rolled her eyes and shrugged “Well I did want to share the joy of my first Broadway show with you, too.”

 

“Mhm” Santana chuckled before stuffing a bite in her mouth. She chewed it over as she stared at her cousin’s silent pleading eyes. By the time she was swallowing, her head was shaking and she let out a sigh “God, fine, alright I will go. But I do not want to go to dinner after, alright? You and Paige go out and have a good time.” She took a quick drink of her water then pointed at Emily “And stop trying to get Rachel and I to go out on dates with you two. It’s obnoxious. Please just leave it alone, alright?”

 

Emily nodded and held up her hands in surrender. “You have my word. No more sneaky ways, I swear. But, thank you. I am really excited to share this experience with you.”

 

Santana nodded then got up to rinse out the bowl she had eaten out of “Thank you. I know you have my best intentions in mind but I am a big girl. I can handle my own love life.”

 

Emily smiled softly and gave a little nod “I know, San. And I apologize if I have made things uncomfortable for you.” She got up from where she was sitting at the table. “I am just going to go call Paige.”

 

Santana didn’t question that and just waved her away before heading into her bedroom to get out of her work clothes. God she hated that ugly uniform. She wished she could burn it. One day, she thought. One day.

 

“Paige” Emily said quickly into her phone once the girl answered. “Okay, I changed my mind. We need to leave Santana and Rachel alone.”

 

Paige blinked as the words filled her ears. Her heart started to race. She licked at her lips and finally managed to squeak out a word “What?”

 

Emily glanced over her shoulder to where Santana was in her room before stepping a little more toward the bathroom and whispering softly. “It was wrong of me to meddle. I think we just need to let them figure it out on their own. You know, if there is something to figure out.”

 

Paige let out a heavy sigh and shook her head against the phone. Her mouth was dry. “Uh” She mumbled and bit at her lower lip with a shrug of her shoulders “Em, I might have messed up.”

 

“What?” Emily blinked in surprise. “What do you mean?”

 

Paige pushed a hand through her hair then lifted the hand in a full arm shrug “You wanted me to mention Santana to Rachel and I tired but she was just so nonchalant about even dating so I just kind of blurted it out.”

 

“What?” Emily’s heart dropped into her toes. “What did you blurt out?”

 

Paige bit her lip and drew in a deep breath through her teeth. She put a hand to her cheek and rubbed a few times before dropping her hand and shrugging again “I blurted out that we kind of think they would be perfect together. Then I quickly was like nevermind, forget it, but I am pretty sure it’s too late.”

 

“Paige!” Emily’s voice hit a high octave and she felt her entire body go warm. This was bad. This was so, so bad. “Paige, I thought you said you could be subtle.”

 

“I can! But it was going over her head and I am so not about beating around the bush if I can help it so it just kind of came out. I’m sorry, Em!” Paige put a hand to her eyes and pinched at the bridge of her nose. “I know this is bad but maybe it won’t be too bad?”

 

“How could this not go horribly wrong in every possible way?” Emily whimpered and leaned against the counter. She felt like she was going to pass out. “Santana is going to be so mad. She is going to hate me. This is so, so bad.”

 

“I’m sorry” Paige whispered softly. She felt so bad. She had no idea what to say or do now. “Em, maybe I can fix it. I can talk to Rachel and tell her we were playing a prank or something?”

 

“No” Emily said quickly. “Please, no. Lord knows what you might actually say in a panic.”

 

“Hey” Paige frowned against the phone “Em it was an honest mistake. I wasn’t out to make this into some huge thing. I was trying to help you out.”

 

“I know” Emily sighed and shook her head “I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to do now. The last thing I need is Santana being pissed at me.”

 

“We will fix it” Paige said softly. “I will figure something out. This has to be fixable.”

 

Emily let out another heavy sigh then shrugged against the phone “I hope so.”

 

“Don’t stress. Go get ready for the show and I will see you in a little while with a plan, okay?”

 

Emily nodded into the phone then glanced back over her shoulder to where Santana was now plopped on the couch surfing channels. “Okay” She whispered and tried to smile “Okay but Santana is coming tonight so it has to be before Rachel and Santana see each other.”

 

Paige nodded quickly at that “Alright. I will think of something.”

 

“Okay” Emily nodded. “I will see you in a little while.”

 

“See you” Paige whispered and let out a sigh as she hung up. She felt so bad. She knew she had messed up with what she had said to Rachel but now it was even worse. Now it was catastrophic. Now she had no idea how to fix it.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“Heeeeey” Paige gave Rachel an overly wide smile and grabbed her shoulders and stepped into her path. “That was amazing! You did so good!”

 

“Thank you” Rachel said with a soft laugh, glancing past Paige and down the small corridor that lead out of the theater. “We should probably go, though. A crowd of fans tend to find their way to the side door and we will be trapped if we don’t hurry.”

 

“Of course” Paige nodded quickly but didn’t move. She looked down at Rachel and held her creepily wide smile. “But I need to talk to you first.”

 

“Can we walk and talk?” Rachel motioned toward the door down the hallway.

 

“No” Paige shook her head and her fake smile dropped away. She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly “Look, Rach..”

 

“What’s wrong?” Rachel saw the way Paige’s face fell and immediately got worried. “What happened?”

 

“Nothing” Paige frowned and waved her hand to the side. “Everything is okay. I mean, I hope it is. Look, earlier, about what I said?” She bit at her lip and just gave her head a little shake “I realize that was like a really random thing to say and I left it like really, really badly but...”

 

“Paige” Rachel stopped her with a hand to her arm and shook her head. “I’ve hardly even had time to think about it so it’s no big deal.”

 

“Really?” Paige lit up a bit and her smile became real. She let out a heavy sigh and nodded, turning now to head down the corridor toward the side door so they could leave “Good because I felt really bad. I was going to tell you it was just an elaborate joke that Emily and Santana put me up to but since it didn’t upset you then we’re good.”

 

“Oh” Rachel blinked and her steps slowed. Paige was going to lie to her about the origins of her words? But why? Was it because she knew how it had affected her? Now there were even more questions! Before she could stop Paige for any sort of clarification they hit the door and were stepping outside.

 

“There they are!” Emily grinned and gave a wave to Paige. She waited until they were closer before stepping around the few other family members that had gathered and moving over to wrap her arms around Rachel tightly. “That was so incredible! Thank you so much for getting us tickets.”

 

Rachel was a little surprised by the hug but she returned it and laughed very softly “It was no big deal. I am so glad you liked it.” When the hug ended and Emily finally stepped back, Rachel’s eyes fell onto Santana who had been standing behind her cousin. She felt her heart twist in her chest and Paige’s words echoed in her head. 

 

“Hey” Santana offered a little side wave and looked her up and down curiously before shaking her head and motioning to Emily “She hasn’t shut up about how great you were. You might have a new fan, Rach.”

 

Rachel nodded and her eyes dropped to her feet. She couldn’t even look at Santana right now. If she looked at her too long it might look like she was staring at her longingly and she couldn’t have that. She was really uncomfortable about what Paige had said. She had no idea why she was so uncomfortable but she couldn’t shake the feeling.

 

Santana perked an eyebrow at her roommate’s silence. That was odd. Rachel never, ever shut up and when there was mention of someone adoring her she was all too excited to pretend to be humble and then ramble on about how great she was. 

 

Noticing the thickening awkward silence that had fallen between them, Paige cleared her throat and looked around the circle “So, dinner?”

 

“I am starved!” Emily nodded and slid her arm through Paige’s gently.

 

“No thanks” Both Santana and Rachel said the words at the same time. They looked at each other quickly then Rachel looked away again. Santana perked an eyebrow and shrugged before looking at Emily “I’m just gonna call it a night. I told you I was tired.”

 

“And I have a cast thing” Rachel motioned over her shoulder toward the theater behind her.

 

Emily perked an eyebrow and looked at the two girls. She noticed the awkwardness between them and frowned. Whatever Paige had said to Rachel before they had come outside had definitely not fixed things. “Well okay” She finally said with a shrug, trying not to stare too long. “I guess it’s just you and me, Paige.”

 

Paige nodded and looked down at Emily before glancing at Rachel. Rachel hadn’t looked up from the ground the entire time and she knew it was her fault. She let out a sigh then looked at Emily again “I guess so. Where do you wanna eat?”

 

“I don’t care. Somewhere delicious” Emily nodded then looked over at Santana and frowned softly. “I guess I will see you back at home, San?”

 

“I will be there” Santana nodded and offered her cousin a little smile. “You two have fun. Don’t stay out too late or at least call if you do, okay?”

 

“Deal” Emily nodded. She offered a goodbye wave to both Rachel and Santana before she started to lead Paige down the alley toward the streets of New York so they could go find something to eat.

 

Santana watched them disappear before she looked back to Rachel. She watched Rachel looking around and avoiding eye contact with her. After a few moments she rolled her eyes, folded her arms, and sighed “So I guess I will see you after your cast thing that you are obviously way too anxious to get to to even acknowledge my existence.”

 

Rachel bit her lip and slowly brought her eyes to look at Santana. She frowned when she saw the bit of hurt on her friend’s face. She shrugged and gave her head a shake “I’m sorry I’ve had a bit of a weird day.”

 

Santana saw the guilty look in Rachel’s eyes and waved it off with a slight shrug “Forget it. Go have fun at your cast thing. I will see you at home.” She gave a half-hearted wave and turned around to head back to the loft.

 

“Wait” Rachel took a step forward and grabbed onto Santana’s arm. When Santana turned around she frowned and let go of her arm “I lied. I don’t have a cast thing.”

 

“Why?” Santana let out a soft laugh.

 

Rachel shrugged slightly “I guess I didn’t want Paige and Emily to know that I was just going to go home and hang out with you.”

 

Santana arched an eyebrow at that and bit back a soft laugh “Because you’re a big Broadway star and I’m the loser working at a singing diner and you didn’t want anyone to know we are actually friends? Is this like a weird role reversal?”

 

“What? No” Rachel frowned and shook her head quickly. “I didn’t mean it like-”

 

Santana smirked in amusement and held up her hand to stop her ramble “It was a joke. I don’t care why you lied. Can we just go home? I want to get out of these heels.”

 

“You wore heels to my show?” Rachel smiled softly and gave a nod for Santana to start walking again. “You didn’t have to do that.”

 

“Oh I know” Santana laughed as they headed toward the streets. “But Emily wanted her first Broadway show to be special and she insisted we all get dressed up to come out and see you, ergo, the heels.”

 

“That was sweet of you” Rachel grinned and slid her arm through Santana’s, something she had done a thousand times before. Then she realized what she had done and pulled her arm away and folded it with her other across her chest.

 

“Yeah yeah” Santana shrugged at Rachel’s words. She glanced over at her with a perked eyebrow before shaking her head. She wasn’t going to say anything about Rachel so quickly changing her mind and pulling her arm away. She just didn’t want to know. So instead she settled for walking in relative silence back to the loft.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Santana was in the middle of changing into some sweats when she decided that she wasn’t going to shrug it off anymore. She wanted to know what was up with Rachel. She had barely talked on the way back to the loft, had gone straight to her room when they had gotten home, and had been silent for an entire ten minutes now. No talk of what they wanted to watch, no talk of some tea to calm them down, and no asking Santana if she wanted ice cream. There was definitely something off and she was going to get to the bottom of it.

 

So Santana tied her sweats and walked out of her room. She stood at the sheet door of Rachel’s bedroom and spoke through it “Hey, Rach?”

 

Rachel glanced up from where she sat on her bed and bit her lip. She could see Santana’s silhouette through the material of the sheets and could tell by her stance that she wasn’t going away. “Yeah?”

 

Santana eyed the door and decided she was not going to have this conversation through sheets. Stupid sheets. They really needed something better. She tossed the door open and stepped inside “So, I decided-”

 

“Hey” Rachel frowned and pulled her blanket over herself. “Privacy?”

 

Santana stopped a foot into the room and perked an eyebrow. She motioned with her hand and laughed “What? You are fully dressed and it’s not like you are hiding a boy.” Her eyes widened and a playful smirk came to her lips “Oh, are you hiding a boy?”

 

“Don’t be stupid” Rachel rolled her eyes. “When since getting home would I have had time to call a boy, get a boy to come over, sneak him in without you noticing, and hide him before you barged in?”

 

“Barged in?” Santana folded her arms and rolled her eyes. “Did you really want to talk through the sheets?”

 

“No but you didn’t even ask-”

 

Santana grunted, took three steps backwards so she was out of the room, and lifted her hand to shake at the sheet “Can I come in, Rachel?”

 

“Don’t be stupid” Rachel repeated. When Santana didn’t move, she gave a frustrated grunt and nodded “Santana get in here.”

 

Santana tossed the sheet door aside and stepped in. This time she didn’t pause just inside the door and instead moved over to the bed. She sat down next to Rachel and turned to look at her “So what’s up?”

 

“What do you mean?” Rachel asked softly, almost too softly, and looked at her hands that fiddled at the blanket.

 

“You’ve hardly spoken, you seem like you’d rather be anywhere than where you are, and you barely even looked at me. Did I do something to piss you off? I mean I texted you earlier and you didn’t answer me. I know you were dancing but you usually have breaks, right?”

 

Rachel let out a heavy sigh. She was so obsessed by not acting weird with Santana that she had acted weird with Santana. But how did she explain this to her? So she just shrugged and glanced at her “I told you, I’ve had a weird day.”

 

“Well” Santana rolled her eyes and nudged Rachel with her elbow “Tell me about it. That’s what we do, right?”

 

“Right” Rachel nodded and let out another sigh. She glanced over at Santana and she knew this wasn’t her fault. But how could she even put into words what had been said to her without it sounding completely crazy.

 

“So?” Santana nudged her again when she just sat in silence.

 

Rachel took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She looked at Santana and gave a little shrug “Paige said something weird to me and it’s kind of been following me around all day. Then she came and tried to tell me that it was a joke but, you know, I could tell it wasn’t so now I don’t know how to feel. It’s like why say it then why lie? Did she not mean it or did she just not like that she had said it?”

 

“I have no idea” Santana said with a shake of her head. “The vagueness of your situation is making it hard to follow so I honestly have no idea.” She shrugged a little and offered Rachel a smile “But maybe I could help if I knew what she said?”

 

Rachel bit her lip and looked guilty. She didn’t want to tell Santana. She didn’t want to make it awkward. It was already way too awkward for her to handle. She didn’t want things to be awkward between them now. But Santana was eyeing her suspiciously now and she was a really bad liar and it wasn’t like this was her fault! So she shrugged and rolled her eyes “Paige said something about how her and Emily have been watching us and they think we would be perfect together.” She said it in one single mumbled breath and looked away because she didn’t want to see Santana’s reaction.

 

“What’s that?” Santana leaned into Rachel a little and let out a laugh “You’re trailing off there, mumbles.”

 

Rachel took a deep breath and this time the words blurted out more loudly than needed “Paige and Emily think we should date!”

 

Santana blinked. It wasn’t as if this was the first time she had heard this. She had already told Emily a thousand times to drop it. No she wasn’t shocked at the notion. She was shocked at the fact that Emily’s silly idea had reached Rachel. Now this was going to be awkward. This had crossed a line.

 

When Santana didn’t react, Rachel bit her lip. Was she in shock? Was she still breathing? Was she blinded with rage and about to black out? Rachel reached out and put a hand on Santana’s arm gently “San?”

 

Santana shook her head. She moved off the bed immediately and started to pace. “I can’t believe she would do this.” She was mumbling to herself but in the dead silence of the loft every word could be heard. “I can’t believe this!” She was pacing so quickly she might have gotten dizzy if she wasn’t so completely mad. So mad she started to rant in Spanish.

 

Rachel blinked. She watched Santana go back and forth across her bedroom, ranting in Spanish. This was not the reaction she had expected. Santana was mad. Why was she mad? Was she so appalled by the idea of being with Rachel that it upset her? She had expected her to laugh and then they could joke about it then there could be awkward tension for a while before it finally just faded away. But rage? Rachel didn’t expect rage.

 

“I am going to kill her!” Santana shouted when she went back to English. She stopped now and looked at Rachel on the bed. “I am so sorry.”

 

“Sorry?” Rachel blinked in surprise again. This reaction was so confusing. “Sorry about what?”

 

Santana pinched her nose and gave her head a shake. She shrugged her shoulders and realized her reaction was way off base. How could she explain without potentially revealing that she and Emily had discussed this a thousand times already? So she just shook her head and rolled her eyes “Emily said something like that to me a few days ago and of course I told her to shut up because she was insane. I didn’t think she would say anything to Paige. I can’t believe she put Paige up to this.”

 

It was Rachel’s turned to be stunned. Her jaw dropped and her eyes fluttered in rapid blinks. She shook her head and drew in a breath before finally managing to mumble “Wh-what? You knew about this?”

 

“I didn’t know Emily was going to pull Paige into this!” Santana let out a near growl and rolled her eyes. “I told her she was insane. I told her to shut down whatever avenue in her brain had cooked this up.”

 

“Wait. So you knew about this? You’ve known about this for a few days and you didn’t say anything!?” Rachel huffed and flung her blanket off her legs. “Santana why didn’t you say something to me about this!?”

 

“About what?” Santana let out a surprised sounding laugh. “There is nothing to say anything about! It was Emily being silly. At least I thought it was nothing. Apparently, though, Emily was planning on getting Paige’s help to recruit you. I am just as shocked about that fact as you are!” She folded her arms and scowled at Rachel “And why are you mad at me!? How could I have even known a comment in passing is something I was supposed to tell you? It was no big deal!”

 

“No big deal?” Rachel motioned to nothing in particular with her hand. “This is a big deal, Santana! Apparently your cousin knew me for a whole three seconds before she started planning our wedding and you didn’t think to say something to me?”

 

“Say what?” Santana shrugged and threw her hands to the side with her shrug. “What exactly could I have said to make this any less weird? Oh, hey, Rachel guess what? Emily thinks I have a crush on you and that I should ask you out isn’t that funny. Ha ha let’s laugh together because that is not weird at all!” She sighed and pushed a hand through her hair “There is no way this situation isn’t totally bizarre.”

 

“She thinks you should ask me out?” Rachel perked an eyebrow.

 

“Are you listening!?” Santana grunted and folded her arms. “You are mad at me for not telling you something that isn’t a big deal. People say two people should date all the time. No one makes a huge deal out of it. And if those people don’t hear about it they have no idea and their lives continue on. So that is why I didn’t say anything. Your life can go on and no one is the wiser. What you don’t know can’t hurt you, right?”

 

Rachel took in a deep breath and let it out very slowly. She thought it over and finally nodded her head. “You’re right” She brushed hair off her eyes and looked at Santana with a smile. “I’m sorry. You are totally right. It is no big deal and had I not known then I wouldn’t even realize it and I wouldn’t have to think about it and there is nothing weird about it.”

 

“Thank you” Santana motioned to Rachel with a flick of her hand. “That is why I said nothing. You didn’t need to unnecessarily think about it.”

 

“But now I know” Rachel said with a shrug. “Now I have been made aware of this and I can’t just pretend to be unaware.”

 

Santana let out a loud, rumbling grunt of a sigh. 

 

“And I can’t pretend that it isn’t awkward.” Rachel continued without even blinking at Santana’s displeasure. “It’s awkward, San. All I have thought about all day is every little interaction we’ve shared the past week trying to decide where this came from. What is it that we have done to make your cousin and Paige see us together and think we should date?”

 

“Please stop. You will drive yourself crazy” Santana moved over to the bed and sat next to Rachel. She put her hand on Rachel’s back and rubbed lightly “Look, she’s from a small town. She isn’t used to how roommates act. We’ve known each other for, what, six years? We’ve not exactly always been close but we have spent a significant amount of time with each other through high school. We’ve lived together for a couple years now in close quarters. We are closer than most friends she has probably ever met. The only people she has seen live together are husband and wife” She rolled her eyes and let out a laugh “She doesn’t know how the real world can be. So I think seeing us be, you know, domestic gave her the wrong idea.”

 

“Domestic?” Rachel let out a soft laugh. “That is code for a relationship where one person wants to take the next step and the other is afraid of commitment.”

 

Santana let out a laugh and shook her head “Not always. It’s what we are, Rach. We live together in relative peace. We buy groceries together. We share a bathroom and living room and have a schedule for who gets the remote. We eat breakfast together, we know each others schedules, and how the other likes their coffee. We are domestic. But we are also friends. To us it’s normal. It’s just...” She shrugged and smiled slightly “It’s every day life. Which I think is the very definition of domestic. But to Emily?” She rolled her eyes and shrugged again “To Em it’s weird. She’s never seen anyone outside of a marriage this close. I think that’s where she got the crazy idea.”

 

“You think so?” Rachel glanced at her friend curiously.

 

Santana nodded quickly “I am sure of it. I am sure that when she finally gets out into the world and has to have a roommate she will see how close she gets with them and feel mighty silly about all of this.”

 

Rachel nodded slowly then smiled. She gave her head a shake and slid off the bed now “Yeah you are probably right. Paige is from a small town, too. She has a roommate at her dorm but they are never around each other because of classes and such. I’m sure between the two of them they both got swept up thinking domestic was code for eventual marriage.”

 

“Exactly” Santana nodded and got off the bed too. She moved over to the door and gave Rachel a smile “So, can we put this behind us and go on with normal life? There is a Golden Girls marathon on and I bought ice cream today.”

 

Rachel lit up a bit at that and gave a little nod. “You have no idea how amazing that sounds.”

 

“Yes I do” Santana said with a laugh and motioned for Rachel to lead the way. She watched her pass through and head to the kitchen before following behind her. As Rachel moved to the fridge, Santana turned on the tv and searched for the channel they needed. She glanced at Rachel and smiled softly. She had dodged a bullet. Now Rachel just thought Emily was really, really naive. And any indication that Santana might have the slightest crush on Rachel was well buried.

 

Rachel glanced at Santana who was already kicking back on the couch. She smiled then turned back to the bowls of ice cream she was serving up. She wasn’t so sure Santana was right. There was no way their generation was that naive. They knew people lived together and that they could be close. There were tv shows and movies about it. She was named after Rachel on FRIENDS for crying out loud! But if Santana wanted to stick with this story she would go along with it. Maybe after a week or so of denial the awkwardness would just go away. She would just have to be careful with how she acted around Santana for a while. Just in case Paige and Emily were still watching them.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Santana groaned softly as her body started to wake up. She felt stiff. Her back hurt. Her neck was sore. She felt like she had slept on a rock. Her brow creased and she reached to rub at her neck as her eyes came open.

 

The light of the early morning crept into the living room of the loft and that is when Santana realized why she was so sore. She must have passed out on the couch sometime between the eighth and ninth episode of Golden Girls. Not only had she passed out but she had done so sitting up. Somehow she had remained upright all night and it was wrecking havoc on her now. 

 

Santana shifted with another grunt, sitting up straight, and reaching for her back. She rubbed lightly and let out a soft yawn. When her yawn passed she looked down at her lap, wondering why her legs felt heavy too, and that’s when she saw Rachel. There with her head in her lap and her body laid out along the couch was her roommate. Santana rolled her eyes and shook her head before yawning again. So apparently they had both passed out.

 

She tried to slide out from under Rachel but quickly noticed that would be impossible without walking her up. She was pinned by the arm of the couch and Rachel was spread out the entire length on the other side of the couch. Santana frowned and looked right at Rachel. Part of her considered just lifting her head and getting off the couch. A bigger part of her wanted to just sit there and watch her sleep. She would never know. A smile creased over Santana’s lips and the bigger part of her won out. She settled her back into the couch, laid a hand on Rachel’s side, and stared at the sleeping girl in her lap. She did look peaceful. What kind of monster could disturb such a sleeping angel?

 

Santana had no idea how much time had passed. She had gotten lost in her own thoughts as her eyes looked upon Rachel sleeping on her lap. Somewhere in her thoughts Santana’s hand had found its way into Rachel’s hair. She slid her fingers through her long brown locks slowly, enjoying the calming motion and the silky feel. She wondered how long she had been stroking her hair then decided she didn’t care. She liked it.

 

Then Rachel shifted. She rolled onto her back and brought her face upwards. The motion twisted Rachel’s hair around Santana’s fingers and suddenly Santana’s hand was stuck. She bit her bottom lip and tried to gently ease her hand out of her hair but as soon as she pulled the slightest bit, Rachel scowled in her sleep. Santana frowned at that and gave up. She decided to just sit still and wait until Rachel moved again in hopes that it would untangle her finger.

 

Luckily Santana didn’t have to wait too long. Only a few minutes after rolling over, Rachel’s brows creased together in her sleep and she mumbled softly “Are you watching me sleep? Because that is creepy.”

 

“What? No” Santana huffed out and shook her head even if Rachel couldn’t see it. “You are the one laying on me. I didn’t want to wake you up and-”

 

Rachel smiled softly and a little laugh escaped her lips “I was teasing. How long have you been sitting there waiting for me to wake up so you could move?”

 

Santana blushed. She actually blushed at Rachel’s words. She couldn’t even remember the last time she had blushed. She was glad Rachel’s eyes were closed and couldn’t see the red rise in her cheeks or she would probably never live it down. She quickly shook her head and drew in a breath to try and push the blush away before she spoke “I wasn’t. I mean I was trying to decide how to get out from under you without waking you but I was not waiting for you to wake up.”

 

Rachel finally blinked her eyes open and let out a soft laugh as she was greeted with a panicked looking Santana. “I was kidding. Good morning, by the way. You are no fun in the morning. I forget not to joke with you until after you have your coffee.”

 

Santana fought a growl and just rolled her eyes. Damn it. How could she have let Rachel get the best of her? At least she hadn’t seen her blush.

 

Rachel moved to sit up but was stopped abruptly when her hair was tugged by Santana’s fingers still tangled in it. She frowned and laid back down, her eyes lifting up to Santana with a curious eyebrow raised at her “Is there a reason you’re holding me hostage?”

 

“No!” Santana grunted and pulled at her hand. She huffed and fought another blush as she lifted her other hand to try and untangle her fingers. “I guess my hand must have been like, I don’t know, on your head and you moved and now I’m stuck. Like when you roll around all night and get stuck in your blanket.”

 

“Your hand was on my head?” Rachel let out a soft laugh and reached up to tug at her hair. Slowly but surely the two of them were able to free Santana’s hand and Rachel was free to finally sit up. She rubbed at her head and moved to sit on the edge of the couch. “Why was your hand on my head?”

 

“I don’t know?” Santana shrugged and folded her arms. “I was sitting up and your head was in my lap. Maybe it just landed there. How am I supposed to know? I was asleep.”

 

Rachel shook her head and got off the couch. She moved over to the coffee machine and immediately started a pot for the two of them. “How did you sleep, by the way? We both must have been exhausted. I don’t even remember passing out.”

 

“Yeah” Santana shrugged and looked down at her hands. A little smile lifted on the corner of her lips as she toyed with a strand of Rachel’s hair that had gotten stuck around her fingers. “I don’t know. I think it was somewhere near midnight, though.” 

 

Rachel nodded and leaned against the counter next to the coffee pot. Her arms folded and she looked over at Santana with a smile “Did Emily end up coming home?”

 

Santana opened her mouth to answer but stopped when she realized she had no idea. She quickly got up off the couch and moved toward her room. She peeked her head inside and when she saw her bed was empty she frowned and moved into the kitchen. “Apparently not. She didn’t even call and let me know.”

 

“Maybe she did” Rachel shrugged and poured two cups of coffee. “Maybe you were asleep when she did. Don’t be too hard on her. She’s with Paige. It’s not like they could get into much trouble.” She mixed Santana’s coffee the way she liked it then handed it over to her before sitting at the table with her own.

 

“I’m not really worried about her getting into trouble. For being related to me she is actually really well-behaved.” Santana shrugged, looking into the coffee for a moment before taking a drink. As the warm liquid filled her throat then hit her stomach, she sighed. Ah this was magic. Exactly what she needed. She cleared her throat and looked at Rachel with a shrug “You really think Paige is alright for her?”

 

“Please” Rachel said with a soft laugh. “She is a saint. I would trust her with my life.”

 

Santana nodded and took another sip of her coffee. Rachel had always been a pretty good judge of character. Paige did seem completely sweet. Santana was just the protective type. If she cared about you she cared fiercely and wouldn’t just lay back and let someone hurt you. Not that she thought Paige would hurt her but just in case.

 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Rachel asked softly after having watched Santana seemingly run something through her head a few times.

 

Santana looked up and let out a soft laugh “Just thinking about Emily. I should let her be an adult and make her own decisions, huh? It’s not like she’s made any stupid mistakes. Plus it’s not like she can get pregnant” Santana smirked then shrugged and looked at her coffee again. “I just wanna make sure she’s safe.”

 

“She’s safe” Rachel nodded and took a sip from her cup. “In this scary city I think the safest place she could be outside these walls is with Paige.”

 

“Good” Santana smiled and finished up her coffee. She stood up and went to the sink to rinse out her cup before setting it aside and turning to look at Rachel with a shrug “So I was thinking about getting a massage before work this afternoon. I’m stiff as a viagra patient because of how I slept. You wanna go get one with me?”

 

Rachel rolled her eyes at the reference but let out a soft laugh “That sounds amazing. I’m pretty sore, too. That couch is horrible why do we still have it?”

 

Santana shrugged and laughed softly “Because we don’t realize how awful it is until we sleep on it.”

 

“So true” Rachel stood up and rinsed her cup as well before heading toward her bedroom. “Let me know when. I’m going to shower before hand.”

 

“Will do” Santana watched her disappear into her bedroom before grabbing her phone and searching for a massage place nearby. It would be nice. They could hang out together, something they hadn’t done lately, and relax. Maybe a massage could help melt everything away. The tension, the worrying, the stupid idea that she has a crush on Rachel. It would be a nice way to restart. She had a feeling both she and Rachel needed a restart. It would be good for them both.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~. 


	6. Celebration gone wrong

Santana sat on the massage table wrapped in a towel with her eyes on her phone. She had gotten a text from Emily while she had been taking off her clothes for her massage and was replying while she waited. Her and Paige were going to get breakfast than be home after. Santana just told her to have fun then tossed her phone into the basket under the table where the rest of her belongings had been put for the massage.

 

Rachel stepped out of the changing room in her towel with her hair pulled up in a bun so it was off her neck. “Was that Em?” She asked as she sat on her own massage table.

 

“Oh la la Rachel Berry in a towel” Santana smirked as she looked her over. She had joked about it once and ever since she couldn’t help but repeat the joke every single time she saw Rachel in a towel which was quite often since they did live together and all.

 

Rachel just rolled her eyes and adjusted the towel over her legs. 

 

“Yeah” Santana nodded and laid down on the table now. She pulled the towel open and laid face down, letting the towel dangle around her once she was settled. “Her and Paige are grabbing breakfast then she will be home.”

 

“Breakfast?” Rachel laughed softly as she laid down as well, being a little more careful about how she shifted the towel open as she laid down. She was not as open about her body as Santana was. She could literally see the side of Santana’s boob and the girl didn’t seem to care. “It’s nearly noon.”

 

“I guess they had a long night and are just getting up” Santana shrugged and turned her head to look at Rachel as they talked.

 

“And you are alright with that?” Rachel closed her eyes and started some relaxing breathing in anticipation of her massage.

 

“Yes. I am not going to babysit her anymore. She is an adult and, as you said, Paige is a good girl. So she is free to wonder about New York as she pleases. As long as she’s alive, I’m happy.”

 

“That’s very big of you” Rachel said with a soft laugh before letting out a slow breath. She was already starting to relax. The door opened and the two masseuses walked in. They introduced themselves then instructed the girls to just relax and lay still as they worked.

 

It was silent in the room for a few minutes as the two girls enjoyed the beginning of the massages. Rachel’s eyes opened and she glanced in Santana’s direction even though all she could see was the padding of the hole her face was laying in “Santana?”

 

“Yeah?” Santana mumbled, having started to doze off.

 

“Did you sign us up for a couples massage?”

 

Santana let out a laugh at that “What makes you think that?”

 

“Because every other massage I have ever had I have been in a room by myself.”

 

Santana smirked and shrugged her shoulders before letting out a laugh “I wanted to hang out and talk while we got massages. This was the only way to be able to do that.”

 

“You signed us up for a couple’s massage?” Rachel laughed out with a shake of her head.

 

“So we could talk! It’s not like they teach us how to make love in different positions or make us give each other naked oil rub downs.”

 

Rachel smirked to herself. She was completely amused by this. It was a little awkward, it being labeled for couples, but the intentions were pure at least. “Are you sure you’re not trying to seduce me?”

 

“You wish” Santana mumbled before laughing softly. “Besides, I am realizing I made a mistake. Why did I think I wanted to be stuck in a room naked with you where I couldn’t escape your non-stop talking?”

 

“Oh har har” Rachel rolled her eyes. “You are lucky I can’t hit you right now.”

 

“There is a god” Santana laughed softly and closed her eyes again. This was nice. Just two friends hanging out, picking on each other, and just being friends. No weird awkwardness. No tension caused by people thinking they were soulmates. Just relaxation.

 

Silence filled the room again and stayed through the rest of their massages. Once they were finished they were instructed to sit up. The woman who had massaged Santana gave the girls a smile and looked between them “Did you enjoy massage?”

 

“It was lovely” Rachel said with a nod. “Thank you so much.”

 

“It was just what I needed” Santana nodded and offered a smile.

 

“You girls been together long?” The lady asked as she cleaned up the oils and used hand towels.

 

“What? No” Santana shook her head and reached for her phone from the basket under the table to check it again. “We are just friends. Roommates. We’ve known each other since high school.”

 

“High school sweethearts! So sweet!” The lady gave them a little clap and reached for a fresh towel to replace the one she used and put it there for the next massage. “You two very good together. Come back on anniversary for special massage!” She gave them a little bow then left the room quickly.

 

Santana’s jaw dropped. Did that lady not hear a thing she had said?

 

Rachel perked an eyebrow and glanced at the door where the girl had disappeared. She pointed over her shoulder then looked at Santana with a shake of her head “Why is every masseuse I’ve ever had been a crazy old lady?”

 

“Deaf and crazy must be requirements” Santana rolled her eyes and laughed softly. “High school sweethearts” She mumbled in amusement and got off the table, holding the towel to her chest. “Well let’s get dressed. Want to get some coffee on the way home?”

 

“Sure. Maybe get a doughnut or those yummy cake balls or-” Rachel stopped and her eyes went wide “Santana! Cover yourself!”

 

“What?” Santana glanced over her shoulder with a perked eyebrow. She glanced down and realized she was holding the towel to her chest but it had come open and her ass was hanging out. She smirked and just shrugged, taking the last few steps toward the changing room “Oh grow up, it’s just an ass, Berry.”

 

Rachel was bright red. She was redder than she might have ever been in her entire life. She couldn’t believe what had just happened. She had lived with Santana for two years and they had somehow managed to avoid accidentally seeing each other any degree of naked but now she had just seen her butt? She couldn’t believe it. She was so embarrassed. Why was she so embarrassed? It wasn’t even her bare bottom that had been exposed and yet she was embarrassed.

 

“Holy shit!” Santana ran out of the changing room in just some jeans and her bra. She was smiling ear to ear, her eyes wide in excitement. She had her phone in her hand and she looked at Rachel with a wide grin “Guess what!”

 

“Um” Rachel blinked and shook her head. She was probably still red in the face and trying to push the image of Santana’s bare cheeks from her head and here Santana was again, acting like nothing had happened, half dressed, and bouncing around excitedly. 

 

“Rachel!” Santana grabbed her shoulders and gave a light shake. “Are you awake?”

 

“Yeah” Rachel shook her head and managed to smile. “Sorry. What’s up? Why are you bouncing around like a kid in a candy shop?”

 

“Remember that commercial I auditioned for a few weeks ago?” Before Rachel could answer, though, Santana was cutting her off “I got it! They want me to shoot it next week and if they like me they might want me to do more than one!”

 

“What!?” All embarrassment went out the window and Rachel jumped off the table. She grabbed Santana’s hands and bounced a little with Santana “You got the part? Oh my god, Santana, that is so amazing!”

 

“We have to celebrate!” Santana clapped her hands and turned around to head to the changing room. She kept the door open as she pulled on her shirt then moved out and pointed to the room behind her “Get dressed! We have to go to the store. We are having a party tonight to celebrate. Food, booze, and probably a stripper!”

 

“A stripper?” Rachel asked with a laugh as she padded across the room to go change.

 

“Okay maybe not a stripper” Santana smirked and let out a laugh. “But the other two things for sure. And you are drinking.”

 

“Remember the last time we drank together?” Rachel called out through the door that was barely cracked open so they could continue their conversation.

 

“No” Santana thought for a second then shook her head. 

 

“We were robbed by Santa” Rachel called out.

 

“That was the last time we drank together?” Santana thought it over as she pushed her keys into her pocket and shook her head. “Wow we need to drink together more. That night was a blast.”

 

“Except for being robbed!”

 

“Except for that” Santana laughed. “Now hurry your little buns up! We need to go shopping before I have to work.”

 

“I’m coming” Rachel rolled her eyes with a little smile. She had to admit she liked excited Santana. And she was happy for her. She had been working so hard to get another part, any part. She deserved this. Rachel walked out of the changing room and immediately over to her purse “Okay, I’m ready.”

 

“Good” Santana tugged Rachel so hard the girl nearly fell over but Santana had a good enough grip on her that she didn’t. Instead she pulled her behind her so quickly it looked almost like a cartoon as the girls moved through the building, outside, and down the street. Santana couldn’t wait for tonight. It had been a long time since she had a reason to celebrate.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

It was after eleven by the time Santana had managed to get off work. It had been a particularly busy night for seemingly no reason other than that universe wanted Santana to suffer. She was a bit grumpy by the time she was off work because she was sure any celebrating they were going to do that night would be cut short because everyone was tired. Rachel was used to getting out of her show late but what about Emily? Would she be too tired from the night before to want to celebrate? She sure hoped not.

 

Santana slid the loft door open and immediately a cry of “Surprise!” met her ears. Her jaw dropped a bit before her lips curled into a smile and she looked at everyone “What’s all this?”

 

“Well” Rachel bounced over to her friend excitedly and took her hand. “I was so excited about you getting a new commercial that I made a few calls before the show tonight and, well, it seems you have a few people who are just as happy for you as I am!”

 

“Congrats” Sam Evans was the first to run up and greet Santana. He swept her into a hug and spun her around before setting her down with a laugh. “Super awesome to hear about the commercial, Santana.”

 

“What the Hell are you doing here?” Santana laughed softly. 

 

“I am actually in town” Sam said with a shrug. “I called Rachel yesterday to see if she wanted to get lunch. Then she called me today and told me your big news and I knew I had to be here!”

 

Santana let out another laugh and hugged her old friend. When she pulled back, she held him at arms length, then smirked and glanced at Rachel “You did get me a stripper after all, how sweet!”

 

Sam blinked in confusion and looked at Rachel for an answer. Rachel just laughed and patted Sam on the back “Ignore her.”

 

“Please tell me it’s not another feminine hygiene product you are doing a commercial for?” Kurt pushed passed Sam and gave Santana a tight hug next. He pulled back after a brief hug and smiled. “Because if I have to hear another disgusting pun about yeast I am sorry but I can not support you in this.”

 

“Kurt!” Santana laughed and pulled him into a second hug before shaking her head and looking at him. “I haven’t seen you in forever. I thought you moved to Chelsea and got swallowed, both literally and metaphorically, by the gay scene.”

 

“How crudely punny” Kurt said with a roll of his eyes and a shake of his head. “No, that is not the case. I have been hard at work on my education and designing my fashion line on the side. Does Rachel not keep you updated? We talk once a week.”

 

“Probably” Santana shrugged “I just don’t listen.”

 

“Of course” Kurt chuckled and gave a little wave of his hand. “Either way, congratulations.”

 

“This is so awesome” Emily, who had been waiting patiently to hug her cousin, now lunged forward and wrapped her arms around Santana. “I am so excited for you! You’re like one step away from being a major star.”

 

Santana laughed and pulled back from the hug with a shake of her head “Yeah I don’t think so Em. It’s just commercial work. It takes a bigger break than this to be a star.”

 

“Well I’m proud either way!” Emily grinned and stepped to the side of Santana.

 

“And who is this lovely young lady?” Kurt motioned to Emily and perked an eyebrow at Santana.

 

“Ew, gross” Santana shook her head and slid her arm around Em. “This is my cousin Emily. And although she is a total looker she is not my type at all.” She curled her lip in disgust then gave Emily’s hair a playful ruffling before letting her go.

 

“Okay!” Rachel clapped and broke up the love fest before taking Santana’s hand again and pulling her away from the people circling her. “Go get changed and then it is celebration time! We have snacks and games and we are going to watch movies.”

 

“What about the booze?” Santana pouted her lower lip out more than necessary as she batted her eyes at Rachel.

 

Rachel just rolled her eyes and sighed “Yes, I got alcohol for you. Paige is out getting ice right now.”

 

“Oh good, Paige is here.” Santana let out a laugh and walked into her room.

 

“Of course she is. I invited her. She might only be a new friend but she is a friend nonetheless” Rachel folded her arms and stepped into the doorway behind Santana.

 

“I wouldn’t use the word friend” Santana shrugged and pulled off her work shirt, tossing it into the corner where the rest of her dirty laundry was piled before she started to rifle through her closet for a clean shirt. “But I suppose I don’t hate her yet so I don’t mind her hanging around.” She glanced over her shoulder and realized Rachel was watching her. She smirked and started to unzip the skirt she wore to work “Couldn’t get enough at the massage parlor today, huh? Need another peek?”

 

“Oh gross” Rachel turned and left the room in a huff. “Incorrigible” She mumbled to herself before moving to the kitchen to set out cups and plates. It was a small gathering of people but she knew it would be fun. Hopefully it would help pull Santana out of the sad little funk she had been in lately, too. What better than a new job prospect and good friends to cheer someone up? Nothing. Rachel nodded to herself. Tonight was going to be a great night.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“Okay so I was ten so that means Santana had to be have been twelve and we were out roaming the streets of my neighborhood one weekend like we always did. Now, guys, my neighborhood was as boring as any neighborhood in Lima, trust me. Santana, being the short attention spanned gnat that she is was particularly bored this night so out of the blue she just starts climbing one of the apple trees. I stand at the trunk and yell for her to come down and of course she refuses. She says she’s not coming down until she makes a pie on someone’s windshield.”

 

“Oh no” Santana groaned loudly and let out a soft laugh. The celebration had been going great. Everyone was having a blast and with a few drinks in everyone’s systems someone had decided that telling their favorite memories about Santana was a good idea. She had begrudgingly disagreed but no one had listened. And now, of course, Emily was telling all of the embarrassing stories she could think of as they all sat around the kitchen table.

 

“So she makes me hide behind a bush and each time a car drives by she throws an apple. After a half hour or so of miss after miss she finally connects!” Emily starts giggling as she speaks, making everyone else smile. “Her celebration is short lived though when the owner of the car stops, gets out, and marches up to the tree. Santana is stuck! The owner of the car, a big scary dude who probably wrestled in high school, is standing at the base of the tree shouting for her to come down. Of course she pretends she’s not up there so she doesn’t get in trouble, right?”

 

“A good plan!” Santana said with a laugh before taking a drink. “It was dark by then, no one could see me!”

 

“But this guy wasn’t dumb” Emily said with a laugh. “So he stands there for fifteen minutes until finally Santana realizes she has no other choice. So she slowly starts to come down and she is apologizing the entire time. She is sniffling and crying-”

 

“Fake tears” Santana said pointedly. “My acting started young.”

 

Emily just rolled her eyes at that and shook her head before continuing. “So she gets to the lowest branch and is staring this guy in the face. He is demanding her name, her address, everything. And she just sits there on the branch pleading for the guy to forgive her.”

 

“Negotiating” Santana corrected with a nod. “Let’s make a deal. You don’t turn me in, I come mow your lawn for free. That sort of thing.”

 

Emily just smirked then looked back at the group “Then a huge gust of wind comes out of nowhere and the entire tree sways. It catches her off guard and she falls backwards.”

 

The entire group gasped at that. Rachel covered her mouth with one hand and gripped Kurt’s arm with the other. “Was she hurt?” She mumbled from behind her hand.

 

“No” Emily smirked and glanced at Santana who was now sinking in her seat and holding her cup in front of her face in an attempt to hide. “Her pants snag on the branch and rip. So there she is hanging upside down in front of this pissed off giant, pants ripped, undies showing. She was completely helpless.”

 

“Oh my god” Kurt squeaked and looked at Santana. He fought a loud laugh and just shook his head “This is the most beautiful story I have ever heard!”

 

“Jesus” Santana closed her eyes and slid so far down in her seat she was under the table now.

 

Emily laughed and looked back at Rachel “The guy felt so bad for her that he ended up helping her down, giving her a stern talking to about property damage, then giving her a ride back to my house!”

 

“No way!” Rachel gasped and let out a laugh, dropping her hand from her mouth now. “She got off the hook?”

 

Emily nodded, a bit of pride on her face. “My cousin could get out of anything, I swear.”

 

“Lucky” Rachel said with a shake of her head and an amused laugh. She glanced under the table to where Santana was sitting, pouting really, and smirked “Aw so cute.”

 

“Go to Hell” Santana grumbled as she climbed out from under the table. She plopped back on her seat and grumpily set her cup down “I need another.”

 

“Got it!” Paige, who had been sitting next to Emily eating up every word of the story, jumped up and started to mix another drink for Santana.

 

“Tell us another?” Kurt asked with an air of pleasure in his tone. “Oh please!”

 

“Nope!” Santana stood and let out a laugh. She went over to Paige and took the drink, giving her a smile of thanks before taking a sip. “I thought we were supposed to be celebrating me not torturing me.”

 

“We are” Kurt said with a happy nod. “We are celebrating every moment of your life, the good and the bad, San. Keeping you reminded of your roots.”

 

“Sure” Santana scowled playfully before taking another drink. She looked at the group then smirked slightly “Okay, new game. Drinking game! I’ll get the cards!”

 

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea” Rachel called after Santana but she was already in her room digging out a deck of cards. Rachel looked back at the group of people that had gathered and shook her head “You don’t have to play if you don’t want to.”

 

“I’m fine” Sam said with a little cheers motion of his cup.

 

“I have nowhere to be tomorrow” Kurt chimed in with a grin.

 

“Can I crash here?” Paige asked, glancing at Emily, then at Rachel.

 

“Of course” Rachel said with a shrug. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you. Santana goes a little crazy with the drinking games.” That was an understatement. Santana loved drinking games. She would play them by herself but that would just be sad. Rachel shook her head at the thought. This night was going to get interesting very quickly.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

By the time the third drinking game was finished Sam was passed out at the kitchen table. Emily and Paige had quit midway through the second and were now nestled together on the couch. Kurt was swaying in his seat looking like if one more drop touched his tongue he would be done. Santana was being loud and laughing a lot but seemed to have control of her limbs still. Rachel, the only one not completely trashed because, well she was good at all games, was on the phone with a cab for Sam and Kurt.

 

“Imma go pee” Santana motioned behind her to the bathroom and gave Rachel a smile. “I’ll be back to help with the boys.”

 

Rachel gave her a nod and waved her away as she spoke on the phone.

 

It’s funny that you can drink as much as you like while sitting and not feel a thing but as soon as you stand it hits you. This is exactly what Santana was experiencing. As soon as she had hit the bathroom she felt like she had forgotten how to walk. She let out a laugh as she stumbled to the toilet, sat down, and started to relieve herself. She blinked a few times and looked around the room, smiling at everything she saw. Her and Rachel’s toothbrushes looked like they were hugging. Rachel’s stupid brush was all clean and neat while Santana’s was just tossed on the sink, hair and all still in it. Santana laughed at that. Rachel was always so neat. How did they managed to not kill each other yet?

 

After managing to pee, wash her hands, and make it back to the kitchen without falling, Santana gave Rachel a smile. “Alright let’s get these lightweights downstairs.”

 

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Rachel eyed her wobbling friend carefully. “You look like you are having trouble standing.”

 

“I am fine!” Santana kicked her feet a bit in an attempted jig of a dance then threw her hands out to the side in a “ta-da” fashion before grinning at Rachel. “See?”

 

“Okay” Rachel laughed softly “Sorry I ever doubted you. Get Sam, please? He’s heavier and you’re stronger.”

 

“Damn right I am” Santana puffed out her chest and flexed her arms before laughing and going over to Sam. She grabbed his arms and pulled. When he didn’t move, she pulled harder. When he still didn’t move she reached out and whacked him in the side of the head.

 

Sam groaned and reached his hand up to rub at the spot Santana had just slapped. “What was that for?”

 

“Get up, trouty” Santana said with another pull of Sam’s hand. “It’s time to go.”

 

Sam huffed, took a breath, blinked his eyes opened, then gave a nod. He got to his feet and stumbled over to the door. 

 

“That was mean” Rachel mumbled, still trying to ease Kurt to his feet. “But effective.”

 

“Remember your party in high school? He got so drunk that night I thought I was going to have to drag him out of your house. Turns out when he passes out all you need is a swift whack to the head and he’s up! Not necessarily gracefully, but he’s up” Santana motioned to Sam who was trying to open the door but couldn’t figure it out.

 

“Good to know” Rachel nodded then looked at Kurt. “A little help?”

 

Santana moved around the table, almost fell over her own feet, laughed, then grabbed Kurt and pulled him up with ease. She slid one of his arms over her shoulders then headed for the door. Together, somehow, the four of them made it down to the street level of the building without falling over or hurting anyone. Once Sam and Kurt were in the cab, Rachel gave an address, and sent them on their way. They made quick work of getting back inside and once they hit the loft, Rachel slid the door closed and locked it was a heavy sigh. “What a night!”

 

“Hell yeah” Santana nodded and reached for her cup. She finished what was in it, which was hardly a mouthful, then moved to make another drink.

 

“I think you’ve had enough” Rachel moved over and put her hand over Santana’s cup to stop her from making a new drink. “Why don’t we get on some pjs, put on a movie, and pass out?”

 

“I’m not tired” Santana frowned but the look in Rachel’s eyes told her there was no arguing. So she let out a sigh, set down her cup, then turned toward the couch “What about those two?”

 

“Well” Rachel looked at Paige and Emily who were now asleep on the couch. She smiled at the way Emily was laying against Paige’s chest and how their arms were wrapped around each other. It was too cute for her to want to wake them but she knew they needed to move. “How about this? We go get changed then we wake them up and let them take your bed. You can come crash in mine tonight.”

 

Santana thought about it for a moment then nodded. It made sense. Besides, they were going to watch a movie anyway and they always ended up passing out in the same bed when they did that so it was nothing new. After a moment Santana nodded again then pointed to her room “I will go get changed!” She took a step, nearly tripped over her feet again, caught herself on one of the pillars, then looked at Rachel with a grin “I’m fine I swear.”

 

“Yeah right” Rachel said with a laugh. “If I hear a crash I’m coming in there” She pointed at Santana, pausing at the doorway of her room. She watched Santana disappear behind her sheet door before she did the same and headed over to her closet to find some pajamas to sleep in. She made pretty quick work of changing then decided to pick the movie they would watch before Santana could come in and argue. So she took a few minutes to dig through her dvds before deciding on one. She put it into her player, turned it on, then left the room to get some snacks going while she waited for Santana to join her.

 

Rachel had popped two bags of popcorn and pulled out some water bottles for the both of them when she realized Santana still had not joined her. She hadn’t heard a crash so she knew Santana hadn’t fallen into something in her room and hurt herself. But she also hadn’t heard any drunken laughter or any other noise from her room either. With a bit of panic washing over her, Rachel rushed into Santana’s room to see what had happened.

 

As soon as she stepped into the room she could see what had transpired. There Santana was sitting on the floor, leaning against her bed, her shirt half over her head. It looked like Santana had managed to take off her pants and gotten her shirt halfway off before she had succumbed to sleep. Rachel bit back a giggle and just shook her head at the sight. This would definitely be a story to tell at the next party. She assessed the situation for a moment then decided she couldn’t just leave her there. So slowly she moved over to Santana, knelt down on the floor next to her, and gave her a little shake.

 

Santana groaned but didn’t move. This made Rachel laugh softly before giving a bit of a harder shake. “San? Sweetie, let’s get your shirt completely off before you pass out, okay?” 

 

Santana grunted and a hand came up in an attempt to push Rachel away but ended up kind of just waving at her. Rachel sighed softly and reached out to grab the edges of her shirt. “Okay, what did you get yourself into?” She whispered mostly to herself as she started to twist the fabric and pull gently, trying to work it off over Santana’s head.

 

Santana huffed and her arms suddenly came to life. She could feel Rachel leading the way and she did her best to assist in the movements. Soon the two of them working together managed to get the shirt off her head. When her head was freed, her eyes came open, and she grinned at Rachel who was leaning over her. “Thanks.”

 

“No problem” Rachel said with a laugh. “Do you need assistance in redressing yourself or can you manage that?”

 

“You’re pretty” Santana mumbled through her overly wide drunk grin.

 

“Thank you” Rachel laughed with a roll of her eyes. “But that doesn’t answer my question.”

 

“Will you help me?” Santana frowned and looked down at herself. She was sitting in just her tiny panties and her bra and she had no idea where her pajamas even were.

 

“Sure” Rachel said with a nod before standing up. She looked around and saw what looked like the sweats Santana had worn to bed the night before and decided those would do. She tossed them in Santana’s direction before going to her closet and pulling out a clean t-shirt. She then moved back over to Santana and knelt down again. Luckily Santana had managed to get the sweats up most of her legs before she had given up.

 

“I’m stuck again” Santana pouted and looked at her sweats.

 

“You just have to sit up” Rachel said with a sympathetic smile. “Here” She put her hand on Santana’s back and pulled her forward. She did this until Santana rocked forward enough to lift off her butt and work the sweats up the rest of her body and to her hips. Once they were in place Rachel let her go and Santana plopped right back down to the floor. 

 

“Don’t look at my boobs” Santana pointed at Rachel, staring at her with one eye open and one eye closed.

 

“What?” Rachel laughed softly and handed her the t-shirt she had picked out. 

 

“I gotta take off my bra” Santana pointed to her chest. “Can’t sleep with it. So don’t look, okay?”

 

Rachel rolled her eyes but gave the girl a nod. She got to her feet and turned her back on her friend. “I won’t look. Now hurry up.”

 

Santana nodded once she was satisfied Rachel’s wasn’t looking. She somehow managed to pop her bra off with ease, toss it aside, then pull on the new shirt. Once she was decent, as Rachel would say, she grinned and looked up at her friend. “All done.”

 

“Good” Rachel turned back around. She had her hands on her hips and was looking at Santana with amusement in her smirk. “Are you going to be able to help me with Paige and Emily or should I just leave you here?”

 

“No” Santana pouted and lifted her hands toward Rachel. “Just help me up!”

 

Rachel sighed but stepped closer and reached her hands out. The two of them gripped tightly to the other and pulled. Though Rachel had the leverage, and the sobriety, Santana had the strength. With one pull Rachel was tumbling forward and crashing right into Santana. The girls fell backwards onto the floor with a squeak from Rachel and a laugh from Santana. When the dust settled, so to speak, Santana was on her back and Rachel was on top of her looking completely shocked that it had happened that way. 

 

“Well that was useless. You are freakishly strong” Rachel huffed and moved her hands to push off of Santana. Santana’s arms were wrapped around Rachel’s waist tightly, though, so when Rachel tried to get up it didn’t work. She huffed again and looked down at Santana with a shake of her head “I can’t very well get up with you holding me down.”

 

“I don’t want you to get up” Santana said with a dopey grin.

 

Rachel rolled her eyes and pushed up again “Santana, come on. Let’s go put your cousin to bed.”

 

Santana shook her head and her smile faded. Her grip tightened around Rachel “I don’t wanna.”

 

Rachel let out a frustrated sigh and looked straight into Santana’s eyes “This isn’t a joke, Santana. Let me go.”

 

Santana shook her head again “I don’t want to.”

 

Rachel was trying to be patient but she was becoming more and more annoyed “Santana, I-”

 

“Can I kiss you?” Santana whispered softly. She paused just a beat after that then laughed out loudly.

 

“What?” Rachel blinked and pulled as far back from Santana as she could with the grip the girl had on her.

 

Santana’s laughter faded and so did her smile. She looked dead serious and whispered again “Can I kiss you?”

 

“Santana why would you want to kiss me?” Rachel’s breath was trembling now and coming out in barely a whisper. As mush as she had been fighting to get away from Santana, her arms were now weak and the fight was gone.

 

Santana just shrugged. Her eyes held Rachel’s gaze and a small smile flickered at the corner of her lips “I won’t kiss you if you don’t want me to.”

 

“No” Rachel shook her head quickly. When she saw Santana frown a bit she stammered out “I didn’t mean no I didn’t want you to. I mean I don’t know why you want to kiss me.”

 

“So you want me to kiss you?” Santana perked an eyebrow slowly.

 

“No” Rachel shook her head. Then she shrugged “I mean, no I don’t want you to not kiss me. I mean I don’t know if I want you to kiss me or not. Why do you want to kiss me? You probably shouldn’t kiss me. I mean, no, don’t kiss me. Wait, why would you kiss me?”

 

“What?” Santana shook her head and her brows creased together.

 

“Santana, I” Rachel sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “I am so confused about where this is coming from. Why would you all the sudden want to kiss me? It must be because you are drunk. Why would you ask for that matter? You just put me on the spot and I’m supposed to be the bad guy and say no or say yes and make this really confusing for us both and have you even thought about how this would affect our friendsh-”

 

Santana lifted her head and her lips pressed into Rachel’s tightly. She half did it to shut Rachel up and half because, well, she wanted to. She wanted to kiss Rachel so badly in that moment that it almost hurt not to. Then as their lips sat there pressed together tightly she realized she hadn’t just wanted to kiss her in that moment. She had wanted to kiss her for a long time. She wanted to kiss her every day for who knows how long now. Now that she finally was, it felt good. At least she thought it did. She was enjoying it but was Rachel? Rachel hadn’t really done anything. Wait, was she screwing this up? 

 

Santana panicked and pulled back quickly. Her eyes widened she stared at Rachel in the pale light of her room trying to read what she was thinking. Rachel’s face was blank. Well, there was a bit of shock but other than that she was blank. Santana couldn’t tell if it was a good blank or a bad blank. But she was sure the fact that Rachel wasn’t talking was a bad sign. “Rach, I-”

 

“What was that?” Rachel blinked and pulled back even more. Santana’s grip around her waist had been released now and she took the chance to push off her. She quickly got to her feet, brushed herself off, and gave her head a quick shake. Her eyes left Santana and she looked anywhere but at her friend still laying on the floor. She licked over her lips just once then cleared her throat. “Goodnight, Santana.”

 

“Rach, wait” Santana sat up but it was too late. Rachel had already stormed out of her room and into her own. Though there were no actual walls or doors keeping her from going into Rachel’s room, Santana didn’t chase her. She didn’t go after her because she had no idea what she would say. She had no excuse for what she had done. So she just sat there and stared in the direction of Rachel’s room and thought. She had just possibly destroyed the greatest thing in her life and she had no excuse as to why. All she knew was she had kissed Rachel, Rachel had stormed out, and now she probably needed a new place to live.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	7. The truth isn't always easy

Santana groaned out softly as her body suddenly decided to wake up. She was stiff, probably because she had slept in one position all night. She yawned and that’s when she realized her mouth was dry and tasted like she had licked a few feet. She grimaced at that and lifted her hand to rub at her face. That’s when she felt the note stuck to her face. 

 

Her eyes blinked open and she pulled the note off her face and held it out to read it. She had trouble focusing on it for a moment but eventually she could see the letters: 

 

_ Went to lunch with Rachel. Didn’t want to wake you. There’s water on your nightstand. Hope you don’t feel too bad. -Em _

 

Santana crumbled the note and threw it aside as a yawn ripped through her mouth. She felt like crap. Too much alcohol, too little sleep. She let out a heavy sigh and reached for the water. At least her cousin was thoughtful. She smiled at that and took a drink from the cup. That’s when the events of the night before came flooding back to her.

 

She coughed and choked on her water as she shot up in her bed. She was suddenly panicking. What was Rachel telling Emily? Wait, what was Rachel even thinking? Did she even remember? Of course she did, she had been nearly sober when it had happened. Santana let out a long groan and cupped her hands around her face. She wanted to die. She had no idea what was going to happen now or how their friendship would recover, if it even could. She ran a hand through her hair and groaned again. She had a headache and she was pretty sure it wasn’t because she was hungover.

 

She had to figure something out. She had to put together a game plan. She had to make up some excuse as to why she did something as stupid as kiss Rachel. She would lie. Lie through her teeth. If there was one thing Santana Lopez was good at it was lying. She nodded to herself as she climbed out of bed, grabbed her water, and headed to the bathroom to find something for her headache. She was going to fabricate the greatest lie in the history of lies.

 

Santana had found some aspirin and was standing in the kitchen chugging down her water when the loft door opened. She froze. She hadn’t even had time to swallow her headache curing medicine so she could start thinking up a lie! So she just stood there like a messy, hungover deer in the headlights.

 

“Oh, you’re up!” Emily smiled as she kicked off her shoes. “How you feeling this morning?”

 

Santana just swallowed the water in her mouth. Her eyes had drifted passed her cousin and landed on Rachel coming in behind her. Their eyes met and Rachel looked away quickly which caused Santana to frown. She sighed softly and looked back at her cousin “How was lunch?”

 

“Amazing. Rachel took me to this kosher deli that is run by a cute couple who said they used the business to help their daughter through college.” Emily nodded and moved toward the couch. 

 

“Yeah that’s a great place. Their prime rib sandwich is pretty good” Santana offered her a weak smile then her eyes flickered to Rachel who was sitting awkwardly on the couch as far away from Santana as possible. Santana sighed and put a hand to her face. She pinched at her nose lightly and gave her head a shake. “Look, Em, I think I just need a little more sleep. My head is killing me. I’m going to go lay down for a bit then I promise when I get up we will do whatever you want to do.”

 

Emily frowned a little and gave her head a nod “Do you need anything?” 

 

Santana just shook her head and her eyes glanced at Rachel again “No I just need a little quiet until my head stops pounding.”

 

Emily just nodded and gave her a little smile. She watched Santana disappear into her room before looking at Rachel and shrugging a little “I guess she had a rougher night than I thought.”

 

“Yeah” Rachel nodded, glancing back toward Santana’s room with a shrug. She looked back to the tv and let out a sigh. She had barely slept a wink last night because of what had happened. Half of her wanted to just march into Santana’s room and demand an explanation. The other half of her was too afraid to hear what Santana might say. It was killing her not having the answers. She knew this was going to be awkward until they talked it out but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. 

 

Santana let out a heavy sigh and closed her eyes as soon as she laid down on her bed. She couldn’t take this. Just the look on Rachel’s face was too much. There was no way she was going to be able to lie to Rachel about this. Rachel knew her too well. The moment she opened her mouth she knew Rachel would be able to tell that she was lying. So now they were at an impasse. Santana wouldn’t want to talk about it because she couldn’t lie through it and apparently Rachel was going to avoid the subject altogether. So what now? A bucket full of awkwardness until they die. Or Santana could just move out in the dead of the night. That might work, too. Better than having to lie for the rest of her life.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~. 

 

When Santana’s eyes opened again it was dark. She sat up quickly and looked around, squinting at her clock to see what time it was. “Shit” She mumbled softly as she slid out of bed. It was after ten. She must have really needed the sleep. At least her headache was gone. 

 

She heard the tv on and she figured Emily must still be waiting for her. She frowned at the thought of disappointing her cousin and quickly rushed out of her room and into the living room. “Em, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to sleep this long. We can still go out tonight if you want.”

 

The form sitting in the dark watching tv lifted the remote and muted the sound before turning around to look at Santana. “She’s actually out with Paige.”

 

“Rachel?” Santana mumbled, pausing mid-step about a foot away from the couch. She blinked through the darkness as her eyes focused on her roommate. She bit her lip and took in a shaky breath slowly before shrugging “Uh...what are you doing home?”

 

“I took a personal day” Rachel said with a shrug. “My understudy was all too happy to take the reigns. I didn’t sleep much last night and I’ve been up all day so by the time it rolled around that I had to be at the theater I knew I just couldn’t give my all.”

 

“Oh” Santana nodded slowly and twisted her fingers together with themselves. She stood there awkwardly rocking back and forth on her feet for a few moments before slowly turning around toward the kitchen. “Okay” She said softly and moved toward the fridge. She pulled it open and looked through it, casting a glance toward Rachel every now and then. Great. This was only the most awkward thing she had ever experienced. Usually she would just call it out and address it with some sass and colorful language but this was different. This was Rachel. She had no idea how to deal with it this time.

 

She was so lost in thought that she didn’t hear Rachel come up behind her. “Is the cheese wrestling with the eggs again?”

 

Santana nearly jumped out of her skin. She whipped around, her eyes wide, a hand to her heart, and shook her head slightly “Holy shit, Berry. You need a bell or something. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

 

“Sorry” Rachel bit her lip and offered a little smile. “You just seemed very interested in what was going on in the fridge so I thought I’d come take a look.”

 

“Huh?” Santana glanced behind her and when she realized what Rachel meant, she let out a breath of a laugh and shrugged “Sorry. I’m starved. I haven’t eaten all day and, you know, deciding what to eat when it’s your first meal in nearly twenty-four hours is a huge decision.”

 

“It could ruin your entire day” Rachel said with an over zealous nod. “I see where the pressure is coming from.”

 

“Exactly” Santana pointed and let out a little laugh. She closed the fridge after all of that and let out a sigh. She wiped her hands over the front of her sweats then clapped her hands softly “And it looks like there isn’t much to eat here so I guess I should go out and get something.” She hurried over toward the door and pushed her feet into her shoes. She looked over her shoulder and gave a smile “Do you want anything while I’m out?”

 

“Santana” Rachel frowned and folded her arms across her chest.

 

“Hmm?” Santana reached for her wallet from the bowl near the door where her keys were held.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Going to get food.” Santana said with a shrug.

 

Rachel let out a sigh and shook her head “I meant why? Why are you so suddenly willing to leave when you usually complain about leaving and just order for delivery? Why haven’t you been able to look at me for longer than a split second? Why have you been hiding in your room all day?”

 

“What?” Santana said with a forced laugh and rolled her eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve been hungover all day that’s why I slept so long. And now I’m feeling better and I feel like getting some fresh air, hence the leaving.” She let out another little nervous laugh and shrugged “Pay attention, Berry.” She rolled her eyes and reached for the handle of the door.

 

“Santana” Rachel said a little more firmly. She took a few steps toward her and shook her head. “Will you just stop, please?”

 

“Stop what?” Santana rolled her eyes and pulled the door open.

 

“Stop avoiding me. Stop dancing around the subject. Stop acting like you’re walking on eggshells.” Rachel let out a frustrated sigh and moved closer to Santana.

 

Santana froze again. She took a deep breath and slowly lifted her eyes to look at Rachel. The two of them locked eyes for a few long moments before she finally closed her eyes and let out a heavy sigh “I don’t want to talk about this, Rachel.”

 

“I know” Rachel lifted her hands up in a sign of surrender and gave a shake of her head. “Neither do I to be honest. But look at you” She motioned with a hand toward Santana “You can’t even sit still around me. You can’t look at me. We’ve barely said three words to each other all day. I can’t live like this, Santana. I can’t live every day dancing around each other because of something stupid that happened when you were drunk.”

 

Santana nodded slowly and drew in a deep breath. She pushed the loft door closed and crossed her arms loosely. She gave a shrug with just one shoulder and let out a heavy sigh “All I can say is I’m sorry.”

 

Rachel gave a little nod and offered a sweet smile “It’s okay. We all do silly things when we are drunk. I mean, I made out with Blaine, remember? I guess you were just having one of those ‘I wanna make out’ type drunks. It’s not like you meant it.”

 

Santana’s heart jumped right into her throat. Rachel didn’t think it had meant anything? She thought it was just one of those stupid moments people have when they are drunk. Maybe she wouldn’t have to lie after all. She slowly nodded her head and offered an unconvincing smile “Yeah, you’re right. I was just being a stupid drunk. I just, you know” She shrugged and let out a laugh “I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable because of something stupid like that.”

 

“Sweetie I’ve known you way too long and lived with you long enough that being uncomfortable around you isn’t possible. I’ve heard you being...” Rachel cleared her throat “...intimate. I’ve seen you kiss your girlfriends. It doesn’t bother me.”

 

Santana fought off a bit of a blush when Rachel stumbled over the word intimate. They really did need real walls. “You know I don’t think you are uncomfortable with me being gay. I meant being uncomfortable because I drunkenly kissed you.”

 

Rachel let out a laugh and waved her hands “Not at all! It’s not like you secretly harbor feelings for me and that was the truth coming out through a few too many drinks or anything.”

 

Santana froze again. She blinked once, swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat, and let out a nervous laugh “Yeah, totally. Now THAT would be weird.”

 

Rachel perked an eyebrow at Santana’s reaction. She had not only hesitated but the laugh had not been convincing at all. She bit her bottom lip then let it slowly slip out before she let out a soft breath “Santana?”

 

“Hmm?” Santana arched her eyebrows and bit her lower lip as well.

 

Rachel drew in a deep breath then let it out very slowly. She moved closer and reached her hand out to rest it lightly against Santana’s arm. She swallowed softly then spoke in barely a whisper “You don’t, do you?”

 

“Don’t what?” Santana said quickly, moving past Rachel now and kicking off her shoes now that she wasn’t escaping the loft to go get food. They did have plenty to cook, she could find something there.

 

“Don’t” Rachel turned and followed Santana slowly. She waited until she stopped then reached out and put her hand on Santana’s shoulder again “You don’t harbor secret feelings for me, do you?”

 

Santana let out a huff and shrugged her shoulder away from Rachel’s touch. She shook her head and kept her back toward Rachel as she tugged at her fingers nervously again. Her eyes focused on what her hands were doing and stayed quiet. If she didn’t acknowledge the question then she wouldn’t have to lie to Rachel, or herself.

 

“Santana?” Rachel perked an eyebrow and moved closer to her again. She moved around the front of Santana and reached out to stop her hands from fidgeting. She leaned her head down to try and find Santana’s eyes and offered a very soft, patient look “You don’t have feelings for me, do you?”

 

Santana drew in a deep breath and rolled her eyes. She gave her head a shake and sighed heavily as her eyes finally lifted to look at Rachel now. She opened her mouth to speak, which was going to be a really elaborate roundabout denial and avoidance of the topic altogether but she didn’t have to delve into that at all. At that exact moment the loft door slid open and Emily and Paige appeared, giggling about something.

 

When they realized Santana and Rachel were standing right there in the kitchen, both of the other girls stopped. Paige arched an eyebrow slowly and Emily just looked between them before giving them a smile “Are we interrupting special roommate time?”

 

“No” Santana whirled away from Rachel quickly, almost too quickly because she ran into the table. But she bounced off the table and went to the fridge “Just discussing some dinner.”

 

“At like eleven at night?” Paige asked with a soft laugh as she set her keys down near the door.

 

“Well I just woke up” Santana snarled and ripped the fridge open. She huffed and stood as close to the fridge as she could as if trying to climb into it and disappear.

 

“Someone went a little too hard last night” Emily mumbled with a little laugh then kicked off her shoes. She looked at Rachel and gave her a smile “Why did you let her get so drunk.”

 

Rachel’s eyes lingered on Santana before she looked over at Emily and gave a shrug “You and I both know you don’t let Santana do anything. She does whatever she wants.”

 

“Hear, hear” Emily nodded and went over to the couch. She saw the tv on but muted and looked over to Rachel curiously “Oh are you watching something?”

 

“No, no, go ahead” Rachel motioned with her hands for her to go ahead. She turned and looked at Paige with a smile “So are you staying the night again.”

 

“Can’t” Paige shrugged and gave her a little smile “I have a super early practice. I just wanted to make sure she got home safe.”

 

“How sweet” Rachel genuinely smiled and glanced at Santana who was still staring into the fridge. She gave a crooked frown then looked back to Paige “Well she’s home safe and I’m glad to see you. We need to have lunch soon. I never got to hear what you thought about the show the other night.”

 

“Totally” Paige said with a nod then moved over to the couch. She smiled down to Emily then leaned down slowly. When Emily leaned up the two of them pressed their lips together in a light, sweet kiss. They both let it linger for a few moments before it broke apart. Paige reached out and slowly slid her hand along Emily’s cheek before straightening up “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

 

Emily nodded quickly and chewed at her lower lip before mumbling softly “See you tomorrow.”

 

The two girls stared at each other, Paige walking backwards as she did, until she slipped out of the door and disappeared. Rachel perked an eyebrow and fought off a delighted little giggle as she moved to close the door. She turned and looked at Emily and shook her head with a wide grin on her lips “You two are so cute.”

 

“Stop” Emily blushed and giggled softly. She rolled her eyes and lifted the remote again. “Can we please change the subject? Like are we sure Santana is alive over there? She has been staring into the fridge like she is considering becoming neighbors with the cheese.”

 

Rachel let out a sigh and looked over her shoulder. She shook her head at Santana who now at least held a container in her hands, showing that she was alive still. She shook her head and looked back at Emily with a shrug “She’s fine” Rachel moved over to the couch and sat next to Emily with a smile “So what did you and Paige do tonight?”

 

“Sex, drugs, rock and roll” Emily said without batting an eye as she stared at the tv.

 

Rachel nodded and drew a breath in through her teeth “I can see the family resemblance between you and Santana more and more each day.”

 

Santana clunked past the couch with some food and disappeared into her room. Emily perked an eyebrow and looked at Rachel curiously “She is really grumpy.”

 

Rachel nodded. She glanced in the direction of Santana’s room then to Emily and offered a weak smile “I guess so.”Both girls settled into a comfortable silence on the couch. Emily was glad that Rachel was no longer asking her about Paige and Rachel was deep in thought. She didn’t know what to do now. Going to talk to Santana didn’t seem like it would get them anywhere. But sitting out here not knowing was killing her. She needed to talk about it. She needed to get it all out there. She let out a sigh and lifted her fingers to her mouth. She started to chew her fingernails. She started to bounce her leg. She couldn’t sit still. She felt like she was going to explode.

 

“Did you have too much soda or something?” Emily glanced over at Rachel curiously.

 

“Huh?” Rachel perked an eyebrow.

 

Emily motioned at the way Rachel was nervously twitching next to her and smiled “You haven’t sat still since you sat down. Is everything okay?”

 

Rachel nodded and dropped her hand away from her mouth. She let out a sigh and looked at Emily softly. She didn’t know her that well and she knew Santana hated her personal life being discussed but it was kind of Rachel’s personal life now too, right? Not completely but there was a part of her that was involved so that counted, right? She let out a soft grunt and felt her steeled nerves melt away “I think I know why she’s upset.”

 

“Why?” Emily perked up a bit, curious now as to what insight Rachel might have.

 

Rachel glanced over her shoulder toward Santana’s room then looked back to Emily with a sigh. “Last night when she was drunk she kissed me.”

 

“What!” Emily almost yelled the word. She quickly covered her mouth and sunk down into the couch. She shook her head, her eyes wide over her hand, and slowly dropped her hand from her mouth “What?” She whispered now, hoping Santana hadn’t heard her first outburst.

 

Rachel nodded quickly and glanced behind her too. When there was no sign of life from Santana’s room she turned and looked back at Emily. The two of them now huddled together and whispered just to be safe “Yeah last night I was trying to help her up from the floor and she is like freakishly strong and ended up actually pulling me down. I was trying to get up and she wouldn’t let me up. I was getting frustrated at her then all the sudden she gets this serious look in her eyes and she asks if she can kiss me.”

 

Emily blinked a few times, her face showing true shock. Her head was whirling with this information. “Then she just kissed you?”

 

“Well not immediately. I started rambling on and on about how she doesn’t really want to kiss me and she was drunk and how she shouldn’t kiss me because it would be weird and did she even think about how this could affect our friendship and then she kissed me!”

 

Emily nodded slowly. She honestly had no idea how to take all this information. She thought it over for a few moments then took a deep breath before she spoke “And did you kiss her back?”

 

“Uh” Rachel shook her head quickly then stopped. She tilted her head to the side and thought about it. She couldn’t remember. The only thing that stuck out in her mind was the shock of Santana kissing her. She shrugged after a moment and shook her head “I don’t know? I don’t think so. Or maybe I did. All I know is I was completely shocked that it happened.”

 

Emily nodded again. She felt like a bobblehead with all the nodding she was doing but she wanted Rachel to know that she was listening. “Well did you ever say no? Maybe that’s why she just went ahead and did it.”

 

“Yes” Rachel said firmly. Then she thought it over and shrugged “Maybe I didn’t. I mean I remember saying the word no but I also remember explaining what I meant by no as in no you shouldn’t kiss me because it would make things weird.”

 

“But you never said the words no do not kiss me, Santana?” Emily perked an eyebrow at that and fought a smirk. So maybe Rachel had something going on deep down that she hadn’t realized.

 

Rachel just shook her head quickly. She hadn’t. She had not strung together a definite sentence that told Santana not to kiss her. Was this her fault? And why hadn’t she told Santana no?

 

Emily bit her lip, feeling a bit bad having pried. But she also knew now was the best time to get information out of Rachel. So she drew a deep breath in, reached over to lay her hand on her leg, and gave her a soft smile “Did you like the kiss?”

 

Rachel blinked quickly and looked at Emily like she had three heads. She let out a muffled laugh and tucked some hair behind her ear before shaking her head “Why would you ask me that? She was drunk and it’s not like it had any meaning so what difference does it make if either of us liked it?”

 

Emily was a bit surprised by the sudden panicked rambling from Rachel. That wasn’t what she had expected. She thought she would get a firm answer and now she had no answer and Rachel Berry rambling on in denial. She reached out and took Rachel’s hand, giving it a soft squeeze “Woah, hey, I’m sorry I didn’t mean anything by it. Forget I asked.”

 

Rachel shook her head and gave Emily’s hand a squeeze before pulling her hand free. She got up from the couch and took a few steps away. She started to wring her hands together softly and soon she was pacing. She was thinking about the questions. Had she liked it? And why didn’t she just tell Santana no? There was no way she wanted this. The kiss had caught her by surprise! It’s not like she had been sitting around waiting for Santana to make a move. No she had been completely surprised by the mere notion of Santana kissing her.

 

“Are-” Emily bit her lip and let out a sigh. “Are you okay?”

 

Rachel nodded and paused her pacing. She looked up at Emily with a frown and finally shook her head. Her brows creased together and her entire face fell into distress “I have no idea, Emily. I don’t know what is going on now! Why didn’t I say no? Did I like the kiss? Did I kiss her back? I don’t have any of the answers! Most importantly I have no idea where Santana and I stand! I mean I tried to talk to her about it and when I said it didn’t even mean anything because it was just her being drunk and stupid she seemed to agree. I mean she kind of hesitated but, I mean, she agreed! And I was happy with that! But now what! Do I actually wish it meant more? Do I tell Santana?”

 

“Woah” Emily jumped up off the couch and went over to Rachel. She grabbed her shoulders and made a soft shushing sound while glancing at Santana’s room. “Okay you have to calm down and be quiet. Santana might hear you and then where will you be? You need to, apparently, figure out what you are thinking and feeling before talking to her!”

 

Rachel drew in a deep breath and nodded quickly. She closed her eyes and drew in slow, steady breaths until she felt her heart stop racing. She licked at her lips and opened her eyes and offered a soft smile to Emily “You are right. I need to calm down and approach this with a calm head. I need to think this through and let the shock wear off. I am sure that things will be clearer in the morning. A good night sleep and a calm head is what I need.”

 

Emily gave a little nod, smiled softly, and let Rachel go. “Exactly. You just need to step back, let it settle in, and answer those questions that are lingering. Do it when you aren’t so suddenly faced with all the information and questions. Give yourself time to think it over. There is no rush to figure it out.”

 

Rachel gave a single nod and took a deep breath “You’re right. Maybe I can make a list! Pros and cons? Not really pros and cons, though. It would be more like a question and answer brainstorming list. Yes, that might work.”

 

Emily gave her another smile and folded her arms lightly “Good. Now go take a few breaths, get on some pajamas, and get a good night’s sleep.”

 

Rachel nodded and moved toward her bedroom. She hoped she could get a good night of sleep but she was sure it would be another restless night. Her mind would be racing with all of the questions she had to answer now. At least Emily was right about one thing, figuring it out before she talked to Santana was a good idea. The best idea. Hopefully she could figure it out over night because if not it was going to be even more awkward in the morning.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Santana’s head was pounding when she woke up the next morning. It was probably a mix of getting too much sleep and the lingering hangover from the day before. She was determined to get up today, pretend nothing was wrong, and go to work like always. She was not going to let this whole stupid thing with Rachel get to her. This needs to just blow over and what better way then to start moving forward from it.

 

She was mid-yawn when she stepped out of her room and was immediately looking at Rachel coming out of her own room. She paused for just a moment, let her yawn pass, contemplated going back into her room, then put on a smile and shrugged “Morning.”

 

Rachel had paused when she had seen Santana coming out of her room at the same time that she was. Her heart had immediately jumped into her throat and she felt her body go warm. She had barely slept a wink. She had been up all night tossing and turning as she tried to answer the lingering questions Emily had posed the night before and she had no answers. She was not ready to face Santana. So she just froze. That was until Santana just shrugged, greeted her, then headed toward the kitchen.

 

Rachel blinked, a little confused at the nonchalance of it all. She watched Santana stumble toward the coffee pot and gave her head a bit of a shake. Was she dreaming? That hadn’t been awkward at all. How long had she been in her room tossing and turning? Because the way Santana had just acted was a complete turn around from the day before. What had happened to make her change? And now how was Rachel supposed to act?

 

Santana perked an eyebrow to herself as she made coffee. She could see Rachel standing there out of the corner of her eye, looking a little dazed and confused. She lifted the corner of her lip into a slight smirk at that. Good. Maybe she would spend the day confused and not be able to bug Santana about it all.

 

“Here” Santana plopped a coffee mug down on the counter toward Rachel then turned toward the bathroom. “I’m going to go shower, the coffee will be ready in a minute.” She didn’t look back as she walked into the bathroom and closed the door. If she continued to just go about her business as usual, and not awkwardly, this could definitely work.

 

Rachel just nodded at the words as her eyes landed on the coffee mug. Santana was being very cavalier about all of this all of the sudden. She slowly moved toward the mug and picked it up before looking at the bathroom. She stared at the door as if trying to figure out what Santana was trying to do before shrugging and reaching for the coffee pot “Well I suppose this gives me more time to figure out what is going on with me.”

 

“Who are you talking to?” Emily, who had crashed on the couch, now approached the coffee pot with a yawn.

 

Rachel whirled around to face her, a hand on her heart, having been given a scare “Jesus, Emily, announce yourself before you sneak up on someone. I thought you were asleep!”

 

“I was” Emily frowned and shrugged her shoulders as she poured herself a cup. “I woke up when I got a whiff of the coffee, stood up and stretched, heard you talking, and decided to ask who you were talking to. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

 

“Well you did” Rachel let out a grumpy sigh and took a sip of her coffee. She stared at Emily for a moment with a scowl before rolling her eyes and softening her expression. “I didn’t mean to snap, I apologize. I didn’t get much sleep.”

 

“Still thinking about the kiss?” Emily smirked and took a drink from her own cup now.

 

“No” Rachel huffed and shook her head. She took another drink then rolled her eyes and her demeanor softened again with a sigh “Yes. Mostly all the questions posed to me by you last night. I have no idea what to make of it all.”

 

Emily nodded and offered her a smile “You don’t have to rush to any conclusions. Take your time.”

 

“And in the meantime, what? Avoid Santana? Pretend like there’s nothing going on? Act like I’m not going through a personal struggle of self-awareness and confusion about where exactly my roommate slash best friend and I stand? Act like my entire world hasn’t been flipped on it’s head because of some stupid, drunken kiss?”

 

“Calm down” Emily said softly, reaching a hand out to place on Rachel’s shoulder. The girl was breathing heavily and looking a little crazy in the eyes. She shook her head and shrugged her shoulder “I don’t know what to do, okay? By the time I realized I was in love with my best friend she was gone. By the time I figure out I was gay, it was too late to tell her. So I figured I would never see her again and I should move on. And I did. And it was just fine.” She smiled very softly at that “None of this is easy and being in love with a friend is even worse. The only piece of advice I have is just be honest with yourself.”

 

“I’m not in love with her” Rachel nearly shouted. She then looked at the bathroom and winced. She waited to see if Santana had heard and was going to come out to confront her but it seemed she was still occupied in the warmth of the running shower. She let out a sigh of relief then looked back at Emily “I’m not in love with her. I mean, sure, I love her but in the same way I love Kurt or musicals. It’s not a question of being in love with her it’s a question of how I feel about the kiss.”

 

Emily just nodded. She was fighting a smile but it wasn’t really working because it spread over her lips quickly. She put a hand over Rachel’s shoulder, gave it a squeeze, then walked passed her. “Are you too confused to have lunch with me today?”

 

“What?” Rachel perked an eyebrow at the curious change of subject. She turned and watched Emily walk back toward the couch and sit down. “No. I mean I have to eat anyway. Why?”

 

Emily just shrugged but the look on her face was much akin to that of Santana’s when she was up to something “I just think maybe you should get away from the loft and yourself for a bit and have a nice lunch with me. Food and air always helps me clear my head.”

 

Rachel stared at her curiously for a moment before finally just giving a defeated shrug “Okay, sure. We can do lunch today.”

 

Just then Santana came out of the bathroom, a towel around her body, and one around her head. She moved over to the coffee pot, grabbed a mug, and poured herself some. She looked up at both the girls who were looking at her, smirked, then took a sip from the cup. She let the warm liquid fill her mouth and slowly move down her throat before letting out a satisfied sigh at the taste and feel of it. “Mmm nothing like a hot shower and hot coffee to start your day.” She sauntered right passed Rachel in that cocky way she always had before and headed toward her room.

 

Once she was gone, Rachel, who had followed Santana’s path through the loft, slowly turned to look at Emily with a shocked look on her face “Did you see that? Walking around here half naked as if nothing has happened!”

 

Emily gave a soft giggle and just shook her head “That’s what she does.”

 

“Walks around naked?” Rachel huffed.

 

Emily rolled her eyes at that and shook her head “No. Pretends nothing is wrong and goes on with life as usual. You should know this by now you’ve known her for years.”

 

“Yeah and half that time she was plotting some sort of ugly attack on me or threatening my solos or stealing my boyfriends...” Rachel rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Then there was the time she was my understudy and we fought constantly for months but she never did the whole...” She motioned toward Santana’s door “...acting normal thing. No she was evil, pure and simple.” She shrugged slightly “We’ve never had a situation like this.”

 

“Trust me” Emily nodded and set down her cup “She is probably trying to pretend like nothing is wrong so that things go back to normal and you can all act like nothing happened. Don’t you remember Brittany?”

 

“What about Brittany?” Rachel shook her head and moved to the sink to set her cup into it.

 

Emily smiled softly “Just think about how she acted.”

 

Rachel shook her head and rolled her eyes. That was too cryptic. But apparently she wasn’t getting an answer from Emily so she just rolled her eyes and moved toward her bedroom. She huffed a bit as she dug out some clothes so she could go shower and get ready. Brittany? She thought about it for a moment then let out a grunt. That didn’t help at all!

 

It wasn’t until halfway through her shower that she got it. She remembered exactly how Santana had acted. She pushed it down, hid her true feelings, and even pretended to date Karofsky. She acted like nothing was wrong until, well, that Rachel didn’t know. One day Brittany and Santana were together and Santana stopped pretending. But what’s going to happen if Rachel doesn’t give Santana that one day? Will she keep pretending everything is okay forever or would it eventually crumble to an irreparable state? Would she lose her best friend? The thought twisted Rachel’s stomach. That was the last thing she wanted. She needed to figure herself out quickly and then figure out how to deal with what she figured out. This was going to take a lot of work.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~. 

 

Rachel tapped her fingers against the mug of tea she had ordered to sip on at lunch. She was waiting, patiently, for Emily to show up. She bit the inside of her cheeks lightly and let out a sigh as she tried to keep herself calm. She wondered if tardiness was a genetic trait in that family. It probably was. Santana could never be on time, either.

 

“Sorry” Emily said with a smile as she slid into her seat across from Rachel. Paige moved to sit in the chair next to Emily and gave Rachel a smile. 

 

“It’s okay” Rachel said with a shrug. She looked at both girls and offered a smile before looking at her cup then taking a sip. “So” She said with a shrug once she swallowed “Why was it so important that we had lunch today?”

 

“Because” Emily grinned and took the menu to look at as she spoke “You need to get out of the loft and clear your head. I think being in the place that is swimming with Santana might be clouding your head a bit. So some fresh air and a surrounding that doesn’t remind you of Santana is good for you.”

 

Rachel rolled her eyes and let out a sigh. She just sipped her tea with a shake of her head. She didn’t want to think about this anymore even though there was literally no progress in her figuring things out. She was just done with it already.

 

“Plus” Paige chimed in now and smiled at her friend “Maybe another opinion can help, too.”

 

“I’m assuming you mean yours?” Rachel perked an eyebrow at her friend then let out a laugh. “Perfect. Everyone’s an expert on what I should do.”

 

Just then the server came by to get their orders. Once everything was taken down and the server left to fill the order, Paige cleared her throat and spoke again softly “We aren’t experts on what you should do. We do, however, have insight. We have been through this entire confusing situation before.”

 

“I’m not gay” Rachel said with a roll of her eyes.

 

“No one said you were” Emily said with a little shrug. “You are, however, confused.”

 

“About how I feel about this whole my best friend kissing me thing!”

 

Paige smiled softly and reached out to put a hand over Rachel’s lightly “Okay, look, if you didn’t kind of like the entire idea of it all then you would know how you felt. There would be no confusion. You would be able to say without hesitation that it was just a drunk kiss that meant nothing. You’d laugh at it even. But the fact that you can’t just say that-”

 

“I can” Rachel said quickly, almost desperately. “It was just a drunk kiss! It didn’t mean anything! People get drunk and kiss, right?”

 

Emily shrugged. Paige nodded. They looked at each other then back to Rachel. Paige took a sip of her water that had been delivered then cleared her throat again “They do, you’re right. So it’s no big deal. Problem solved.”

 

“But why did she do it?” Rachel huffed out loudly. “And why didn’t I stop it?”

 

“And there we go” Paige said with a laugh. “It is a big deal to you. You’re confused about it all and that is okay.”

 

“I’m not confused” Rachel shook her head and looked into her cup. She was quiet a moment before letting out a sigh and looking back up at the girls across from her “I just don’t understand a few things about it. Mainly why she did it in the first place and why I didn’t stop her.”

 

Emily just gave a nod and glanced at Paige. The girls shared a look then Paige shrugged and took a drink of her water. “I guess the only way to find out is to ask.”

 

“I have” Rachel said with a quick nod. Their food came just then and all girls leaned back to allow for the food to be set down in front of them. Once they were all settled and the server had walked away, Rachel picked up her fork and poked at her salad a few times. “I asked Santana and she avoided it like she does every real issue in her life.”

 

“That’s fair” Emily said with a nod. “She is like that and you know that. So with her you are going to have to wait for her to come around in her own time.”

 

Rachel shrugged and rolled her eyes “There goes your theory that all I have to do is ask.”

 

“Where Santana is concerned” Paige nodded as she wiped at her mouth after having taken a bite of her food. “That just leaves you.”

 

“Me?” Rachel perked an eyebrow and wiped at her mouth. “What about me?”

 

“You have to ask you some questions” Paige said with a nod. “You have to ask yourself why you didn’t stop her. Really, truly ask yourself that and truly answer yourself.”

 

“I don’t know why I didn’t” Rachel said with a shrug as she mindlessly swirled her fork around in her food. She stared at the way the colors mixed together and let out a heavy sigh. Of all the things that had cost her to lose sleep the last couple days, this was the biggest reason. She couldn’t answer that question.

 

“Give it some time” Emily said with a nod, reaching over to pat at Rachel’s hand lightly. “Everything else will figure itself out. Just focus on you and trying to answer that question first and foremost.”

 

“Yeah. Don’t worry about Santana and all that. Just focus on yourself.” Paige took another drink and shrugged her shoulders. “Right now the important thing is you being able to be honest with you. After that everything else won’t seem so hard.”

 

Rachel was staring at her food. She didn’t want to look up. She didn’t want them to see the fear in her eyes. She was afraid to be honest with herself. Why? Because she wasn’t sure what the truth was and she wasn’t sure she could handle it if she ever figured it out.

 

“Hey don’t worry” Emily said softly, frowning at Rachel’s inability to even look at them now. “It’s not as scary as you think it is. Honesty, after all, is the only thing in life that isn’t fake.”

 

Rachel just nodded and let out a soft sigh. Yeah, sure, honesty is true. It also brought with it a truth that was undeniable and that, well, that could turn your entire world upside down without even thinking twice about it.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	8. Whirlwind of truth and spies

The next few days passed in a blur. They were a blur because Rachel was so far inside her own head that everything else around her seemed to swirl around her in a non-recognizable streak of color and noise. She wasn’t even sure what day it was. All she knew was she was still consumed by the question of why she hadn’t told Santana no. It was haunting her.

 

Santana, on the other hand, seemed completely happy to pretend the kiss never happened. Just as Emily had predicted, Santana was acting as if all was right in the world. She made jokes, she was snarky, and she had even started humming again when she moved around the house in the morning. It was nice to not have the awkward tension floating around the loft.

 

A week or more had passed already. Rachel was sitting on the couch after her show that night, her finger on the channel button of the remote even though she wasn’t actually searching. Her eyes were staring at the screen but they weren’t focused. She was just sitting there, lost in thought about the only subject that had filled her mind lately when the door to the loft slid open.

 

A laughing Santana stumbled through and caught herself on the table. She turned around and laughed harder as another body tumbled through the door and nearly crashed into her. She wrapped her arm around the other body and leaned into it as her laughter consumed her. 

 

Rachel shot up like a rocket. Her eyes were wide and she took a few steps toward the newcomers. “Santana?” Rachel perked an eyebrow and folded her arms across herself, suddenly feeling a little nervous about what was happening.

 

Santana took in a deep breath to calm her laughter and turned her head toward Rachel’s voice. When her eyes fell on her roommate, she grinned widely “Berry! You’re still up! I’m so glad you’re awake. Hey” She straightened up and motioned to her friend she had brought home “Zoe this is Rachel! Rach, meet my new friend Zoe. She just started at the diner and she is awesome!”

 

Rachel’s gaze shifted to the other girl now. The girl was tall and skinny, a fact that was emphasized by her skin tight leather pants and ripped crop top. If it weren’t for the jean jacket that looked like it hadn’t been washed since the 1980’s Rachel would think the girl was showing way too much skin. Her hair matched the jacket both in it’s deep blue color and dirty appearance. Rachel wanted to advise she shower but instead she offered her a very soft, forced smile “Nice to meet you.” 

 

“You’re right, Lopez, she is short!” The girl let out a laugh at her words. It was growing increasingly obvious that the two of them were completely intoxicated.

 

Rachel bit at her bottom lip and took a step backwards just enough to put a comfortable distance between herself and the stumbling girls hanging onto each other for balance. Her eyes slowly flickered back to Santana and had she been sober she would have seen Rachel scolding her with her eyes. But the look was lost on her drunk roommate so she just sighed it away “Okay, well, I am going to call it a night. Try and be quiet, please.”

 

“Be quiet” Santana whispered mockingly, smirking as she lifted a hand to her mouth in a shushing movement.

 

“Oh be quiet! We don’t want to get in trouble with mom” Zoe’s mocking was obvious as she watched Rachel head toward her room.

 

Rachel clenched her jaw and fought the urge to kick the girl out. It wasn’t fair, Santana paid rent too, she had the right to have friends over. Even if her friends were gross and annoying. 

 

Santana giggled when Rachel disappeared into her room. She turned to look at Zoe and smirked slightly “Hey be nice she’s my best friend.”

 

Zoe perked an eyebrow at that and let out a laugh “She seems way too lame to be friends with you.”

 

“Stop” Santana frowned and gave the girl a playful shove. She let out a soft laugh then turned into the kitchen “Hey, you want a shot?”

 

“Does a man like a free handy under the table?” 

 

Santana stared at her friend for a moment with a blank look on her face. Then she actually got the joke and let out a loud laugh “Who doesn’t love a free handy under the table?”

 

As the girls stumbled into the kitchen to dig out whatever alcohol Santana had laying around, Rachel laid in her bed. She huffed every time she heard a giggle. She sighed every time she heard a clink of shot glasses. She groaned every time the girls were heard shushing each other because they didn’t want Rachel to yell at them. She turned over and pulled the pillow around her head with a grunt. Why hadn’t she told Santana no? She was so obnoxious that the idea of kissing her should have annoyed her. At least it did at that particular moment.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

It only got worse from there. The next morning, Zoe was there in her kitchen, drinking out of her coffee mug, looking even more grungy than the night before. That night after work she came home with Santana again. They disappeared into Santana’s room together and could be heard laughing obnoxiously all through the night. It was like an annoying song stuck on repeat. She was there each morning and again each night. Rachel was about to start charging her rent.

 

A week later there was a rare Zoe-free day in the loft. Santana had just gotten out of the shower and was sipping some coffee when Rachel walked out of her room and found her roommate free of the fly that had been buzzing around her. She marched right over to her and crossed her arms across her chest, taking on the determined Rachel Berry stance and glare she was known for in high school “Santana we need to talk.”

 

“Good morning to you, too” Santana didn’t even look away from the paper she was looking at. She sipped at her coffee again then motioned to a second cup that sat steaming on the counter “I made you some.”

 

Rachel blinked and looked at the mug. It was clean and she could see the steam rising out of it. Her gaze softened and she reached for the mug “Thank you.” She took a sip and a smile came to her lips. She hadn’t realized she had missed this morning routine.

 

“So Em and I are going to the Central Park zoo today if you wanna join” Santana sat down the paper she had been reading and finally lifted her eyes to look at her roommate. 

 

“Thanks” Rachel said with a shrug before deciding to sit down at the table. She took another drink from her coffee then set it on the table before looking up at Santana “But we do need to talk.”

 

“About what?” Santana shrugged as she set down her mug as well. She reached up and pulled off the towel she was still wearing on her head and leaned to the side to run it over her long, wet hair.

 

“Your new friend” Rachel nearly gagged over the word friend. Her lip curled in disgust and she had to shake off the mental image of the disgusting being that had been attached to Santana’s hip recently.

 

“Zoe?” Santana straightened up from leaning over and shrugged “What about her?”

 

“She’s gross!” Rachel stood up and threw her hands to the side. “And she is always here. She is disrespectful to not only my things, but me! Plus, I don’t think she knows what personal hygiene is.”

 

“That’s ridiculous” Santana rolled her eyes and leaned to the other side to dry the second half of her head. “She is new in town, new at work, and I am just trying to be nice.”

 

“Which is admirable and I might commend you for that if it wasn’t a complete annoyance to have her around!” Rachel’s arms folded and she let out a sigh. “I don’t like her, San. I don’t want her hanging out here so much.”

 

“Well you don’t really have say in that” Santana shrugged and arched a challenging eyebrow in Rachel’s direction. 

 

“The last I checked, I pay half the rent here so I get at least half the say and my half says I don’t want her here all the time!”

 

“Well my half says you can eat me. We’re going to be spending a lot of time together whether you like it or not.” Santana tossed her towel over the back of one of the kitchen chairs and started toward her room.

 

“Santana!” Rachel spun around and grabbed her arm to stop her in her tracks. She gave her head a shake as a scowl crept over her features. “Firstly, that’s not where your towel goes and I would appreciate it if you put it away. Secondly, I don’t care if you spend time with her. I care that she is always here and would appreciate it if you hung out somewhere else. Doesn’t she have a place?”

 

“Firstly” Santana mocked Rachel’s tone as she ripped her arm out of Rachel’s grip. She stormed over to the towel, scooped it up, marched to the bathroom, tossed the towel into it, then whirled around. “And no, she doesn’t have a place. She was staying with some friends she met at a bar the first night her band played there but they kicked her out. She is currently trying to find a place but the tips at the diner don’t exactly make it easy to put down first month’s rent.”

 

“She’s in a band?” Rachel rolled her eyes and threw up her hands “Of course she is in a band. Let me guess, Ramones cover band?”

 

“The Clash” Santana shrugged and folded her arms. “And that doesn’t even matter. Rachel, just deal with it okay? She’s going to be around a lot.”

 

“No” Rachel just shook her head and folded her arms as well. “This was my place first and I say no.”

 

“Oh get over it. You’ve lived here like a year longer than me. If I gave you an entire year’s worth of rent would that bring me even in this argument? Would I finally get a say about what happens here without you vetoing it?”

 

“Yeah” Rachel huffed sarcastically. “As a matter of fact, it would. If you pay me a year of rent you can raise an elephant in the loft and I wouldn’t say a word!” She rolled her eyes. This wasn’t about money at all.

 

“Fine!” Santana stormed passed her and into her bedroom. She marched right over to the jar on her dresser that was designated as their vacation fund and ripped it out of it’s spot. She then marched right back out of her room and over to Rachel, holding the jar at arm’s length “There! That should cover it! Now will you stop being so damn bossy?”

 

“Half of this is mine!” Rachel growled and snatched the jar from Santana’s hand. 

 

Santana let out a frustrated grunt and threw her hands up in defeat “Just another thing I don’t fully possess! It’s infuriating how you are involved in everything in my life. I can’t get away from you! I’m surprised you let me eat lunch without approving of my meal choice.”

 

“I make your lunch most days” Rachel motioned to the kitchen with a huff. Then she quickly shook her head and waved her hand to the side because that didn’t matter. What did matter was what else Santana had said. She frowned as the words sunk in “Wait what do you mean you can’t get away from me? Do you not like living here?”

 

Seeing Rachel frown, Santana let out a sigh and her face fell. She shook her head and ran a hand back through her hair “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

 

“You meant something by it” Rachel said weakly, all of the fight in her voice was gone now.

 

Santana took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. She bit at her lower lip and her eyes dropped away from Rachel now, unable to look at her “I just meant..” She shrugged and let out a frustrated grunt “...You are always in my business. There is nothing over the past two years that I’ve done that you haven’t had some opinion about.”

 

“Because we’re friends” Rachel frowned and looked at her feet now too. “At least I thought we were.”

 

“We are. You know we are.” Santana rolled her eyes and moved over to Rachel now. She gently put a hand on her shoulder and rubbed up and down her upper arm. “Hey, come on, we are friends. I don’t know, Rachel, that came out wrong. You know I love living here.”

 

“Where is this coming from?” Rachel looked up slowly and although she wanted to move away from Santana’s touch, she didn’t.

 

Santana shrugged and just gave Rachel’s arm a soft squeeze. She would never admit that the frustration was coming from the kiss. They still hadn’t talked about it. That was because Santana didn’t want Rachel to ask her it had meant something again. So she just bottled up her feelings and that’s when frustration started to build. But instead of saying that, she just shrugged “You know I hate being told what to do. I get defensive.”

 

“I wasn’t telling you what to do” Rachel shrugged and her eyes locked with Santana’s “I was asking you to please not bring Zoe around as much as a favor to me. I’m not comfortable around her.”

 

“Well too bad” Santana’s hand dropped away from Rachel’s arm and she shrugged “Because we’re dating.”

 

Rachel felt her heart drop. She was sure all the blood drained from her face and her body went cold. The words hit her like a bus. She blinked quickly and her head gave a shake “Wh-what? You are actually dating her? She’s looks like the human embodiment of Pigpen from Charlie Brown.”

 

“She does not” Santana rolled her eyes.

 

Rachel let out a scoff of a laugh “Do you have eyes? Soap is a word she has never heard.”

 

“You are being rude” Santana folded her arms now and set her jaw with a tight clench.

 

“I’m being honest. You can’t be serious, Santana. You are actually dating her?”

 

“Yeah” Santana said with a firm nod of her head “And it doesn’t matter what you say, I’m going to keep dating her.”

 

“Why?” Rachel let out another laugh, this one dripping with disbelief.

 

“Because I can” Santana said with a shrug “And you can’t boss me out of this.”

 

“But she-”

 

Santana held up her hand to stop her from continuing. She gave a sassy shrug of her shoulders and turned toward her bedroom “For once in your life you have absolutely no control over this and you are just going to have to deal with it.” Before Rachel could argue, Santana disappeared into the sheets that acted as the barrier of her bedroom. Though it wasn’t a solid wall or door, they both respected the sheets as if they were solid and stayed out of each others room.

 

Rachel stood there, dumbfounded. She just stared at Santana’s sheet door, jaw dropped open, and eyes unblinking. Suddenly Santana had gone crazy, that had to be it! There was no other explanation for her behavior. Rachel was completely at a loss. This made no sense and, well, Santana was right she had no control over this. It seemed she was losing control of everything in her life lately and she had no idea how to make it right again.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“So apparently Santana is dating that annoying Zoe girl” Rachel whispered to Emily the next morning over breakfast.

 

Emily choked on her coffee that she had been in the process of swallowing. She coughed a few times until her airway cleared and she was able to draw breath. She blinked and shook her head, clearing her throat and whispering as well “Are you kidding me? That girl is awful.”

 

“I know, right!” Rachel glanced toward the bathroom where Santana was getting ready for the day. “That’s what I said when she told me yesterday. Apparently Santana’s ability to smell has taken a vacation. She is in total denial that the girl needs to bathe.”

 

“And talk about annoying! Last night at dinner she was picking her teeth with the corner of her driver’s license while still sitting at the table.”

 

“Gross” Rachel’s lips curled in disgust. “I am so glad I missed that.”

 

“I can’t believe it” Emily shook her head and glanced over her shoulder toward the bathroom. She stared in that direction for a few moments then slowly turned back around to look at Rachel. “Do you think she is doing it on purpose?”

 

“Being gross? Probably. She always has this self-righteous smirk on her lips when she does something particularly disgusting.”

 

“No, not Pigpen” Emily waved her hand to the side with a shake of her head. “I meant Santana. Do you think she is dating this girl to annoy you on purpose?”

 

“Why would she do that?” Rachel perked an eyebrow as she picked at her bagel.

 

Emily just shrugged and reached for her coffee. She was quiet for a moment before looking at Rachel again and offering a half smile “To get your attention, maybe?”

 

“My attention?” Rachel looked confused now. She pushed some hair off her face and shook her head “She’s the one spending all her free time with this girl. If anyone is lacking attention, it’s me.”

 

“Rachel” Emily let out a soft laugh “You’ve been pretty non-existent lately. It’s been like having a zombie around. You stay in your room until you have to leave for the theater then you come home and go straight to your room. I feel like this is the first time I’ve caught more than just a flash of you streaking through the loft in weeks.”

 

“What?” Rachel rolled her eyes and tried to laugh it off but the sound fell short. “I’ve been here. I’ve just been busy. Besides, Santana’s been working a lot and you have been busy with Paige. It’s not like any of us have really had time to hang out.”

 

Emily’s face held a soft smile “I’ve been here. Santana’s been here. We make dinner together every night that she doesn’t work. We do stuff during the day when she has to work at night. We’ve been here, Rachel. You haven’t. I mean, yeah, you’ve been in the loft but you’ve been hiding in your room.”

 

“No I haven’t” Rachel shook her head. Her eyes dropped to stare at her plate. She thought it over and her stomach twisted slightly. She had been distant. She had been so preoccupied by trying to figure out what was going on with herself that she hadn’t really branched out. After a moment of thinking about it she let out a sigh and glanced up at Emily “I have been a little distracted lately, haven’t I?”

 

“Which I understand” Emily said with a quick nod “But Santana doesn’t. She started out by acting like nothing happened and when it seemed like you never wanted to be around her she started asking me questions. Had you said anything to me that might make me think you were uncomfortable around her? Did I think you were going to kick her out? Did I think you were mad at her for something? She doesn’t know I know about the kiss so I had to lie to her, Rach. Lucky for you lying comes easy to our family, but I didn’t like it.”

 

“I’m sorry” Rachel said with a shake of her head. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

Emily just shrugged a little “You were always in your room or Santana was always here cleaning or cooking, trying to get your attention. You realize she watched Funny Girl every day for a week trying to lure you out of your room? What was I going to do? Barge into your room and demand you talk to her? That would look a little odd considering she doesn’t think we are close. I mean we aren’t like super close but I like to think we’ve bonded.”

 

“We have” Rachel reached out and put her hand over Emily’s softly. “We have! I really like you, Emily. I am so glad you came to visit and I’ve gotten to know you.”

 

“But Santana doesn’t know that” Emily shrugged again. “So me just bursting in on you and demanding you come out of your room would look weird to her. And I am trying really hard not to get involved because, well, Santana hates when I meddle and I think this is something you two need to figure out on your own.”

 

Rachel nodded and pulled her hand away. She was right and this was her fault. She had been inadvertently ignoring her best friend. This had to be Santana crying out for attention. She could only imagine what she must be going through. She drunkenly kisses Rachel then Rachel pulls back? It must have been torture for her! 

 

“Do you really think she is doing it to get my attention?” Rachel asked softly after a moment of letting it all soak in.

 

“Have you seen Zoe?” Emily deadpanned.

 

“Right. Of course” Rachel nodded and glanced at the bathroom. She smiled softly then looked back at Emily. “I’ll talk to her. Make sure she knows I’m not like totally freaked out by the kiss. Maybe that will get Zoe out of here while still giving me time to figure all this out.”

 

“Still don’t know why you didn’t tell her no?” Emily frowned sympathetically.

 

Rachel let out a heavy sigh and shook her head.

 

Just then Santana walked out of the bathroom, toothbrush in her mouth. She glanced at her cousin and roommate at the table and perked an eyebrow curiously “You bitches talking about me?” 

 

“Yes” Emily said seriously before smirking with a laugh.

 

Santana laughed and started moving the toothbrush around her mouth while at the same time opening the fridge to look inside.

 

Rachel smiled softly at her friend before standing from the table and putting her breakfast plate in the sink. “There are eggs left in the pan if you’re hungry, San.” She patted her shoulder gently then moved toward her room. “Hey I’m going to go get ready then I was thinking we could go check out Macy’s before I have to go to the theater. I need new skirts. Do you want to come along?”

 

Santana smiled around her toothbrush. She shut the fridge door and went to the pan of eggs. She pulled Rachel’s plate out of the sink, dried it off, then scooped the remaining eggs out of the pan. “Sure” She mumbled around the toothbrush before leaning over the kitchen sink and spitting out the foam of toothpaste. She rinsed her brush, then leaned over the faucet to bring water into her mouth. She swished it around, spit it out, and put her toothbrush on the counter. “Thanks” Santana motioned to the plate of eggs but the look in her eyes showed she meant she was grateful for the invite. 

 

Rachel smiled and when Santana looked at her plate, Rachel offered Emily a nod of her head. The girls exchanged a smile before Rachel moved toward her room to get some clothes. She had a feeling this would be just what the girls both needed. A day out together as best friends, shopping, just like old times. If anything could help restore balance it would be this.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“What are we doing here?” Paige asked as she glanced around the store. 

 

“Shhh” Emily hissed and grabbed her arm. She tugged her closer and lifted a hand to her lips in a shushing motion. Her eyes were fixed on something across the store and not on the rack they were standing near.

 

“Em” Paige pulled her arm away from her and tried to follow her eyes. “Are you going to tell me why it was so urgent that we get to Macy’s right this moment with no explanation or warning?”

 

“We are spying” Emily hissed then hunched down slightly. 

 

“Spying?” Paige arched an eyebrow and looked around where they stood. It was a store full of people, who exactly were they spying on.

 

“Look” Emily pointed a few racks away then tugged at Paige to hunch down too.

 

Paige followed Emily’s point and her eyes narrowed. She focused in on the two people Emily was obsessively looking at and her jaw dropped “Is that Rachel and Santana?”

 

“Yes, now shush! Look they are laughing, that’s a good sign right?”

 

“I guess?” Paige shook her head and hunched down next to Emily. “I still have no idea what we are looking for exactly.”

 

“Just shush! I am trying to hear what they are saying.”

 

A few racks down Santana let out a laugh and shook her head “Berry, no. If you wear that I will throw you into a fire.”

 

“What?” Rachel’s jaw dropped in fake surprise as she held the skirt up to her hips. She swayed it back and forth playfully, watching the gold and purple shiny spandex material wiggle around. “This is totally in right now! What once was is now in again, don’t you know?”

 

“Absolutely not” Santana shook her head and snatched the skirt from her friend. She hung it back onto the rack and started searching through the other options. She was still laughing to herself at the mental image of Rachel in that hideous skirt. “I would so not claim you if you wore that in public.”

 

“Oh so you claim me?” Rachel smirked, giving her a playful nudge as her hands moved through one hanger at a time in search of a cute skirt. 

 

“Sometimes” Santana shrugged very nonchalantly. She glanced over at Rachel and a smile came to her lips. This was nice. She had missed hanging out with her best friend.

 

“Only when it’s convenient for you, right?” Rachel teased and pulled another skirt off the rack. She held it up to herself then shrugged and put it back.

 

“Exactly.” Santana smiled and pulled a skirt off the rack. She nodded and held it out toward Rachel “Now this is exactly what you need.”

 

“Oh please” Rachel let out a laugh as she eyed the material being called a skirt. “That has you all written all over it. It is barely long enough to cover your lady bits.”

 

“Just the way I like it” Santana smirked and held up it to herself. She shrugged and gave a nod “It’s cute.”

 

“What are they saying?” Emily whispered softly. She and Paige were now huddled behind a display of jeans just a few feet away from Santana and Rachel. “They look like they are having fun, right? No tears or anything?”

 

“Why are you so invested?” Paige asked softly.

 

“She’s my cousin and she’s been in love with Rachel for years. I just want to make sure that through it all she isn’t going to lose her best friend.”

 

Paige nodded and followed the girls around the rack with her eyes. “That makes sense, I guess. I hope they’re alright.”

 

“They look like they are” Emily said with a shrug. Her eyes narrowed and tried to focus in on them “Now if I could only hear what they were saying. Hey, do you know how to read lips?”

 

“I did get an A in oral muscle study 101” Paige said with a whisper.

 

“Really?” Emily turned to look at Paige with a hopeful grin.

 

Paige rolled her eyes and let out a huff of a laugh “No, Em. Do you really think college teaches people how to lip read?”

 

“Well I don’t know!” Emily shrugged her shoulders “It’s New York, a very forward thinking place. They probably teach lip reading!”

 

“They don’t” Paige shook her head with an amused smirk on her lips. “Wait, shhh” She nudged Emily and motioned to the girls. “They look like they are discussing something serious. Let’s try and get closer.”

 

Rachel had been nervously dancing around bringing up the subject of her keeping her distance lately. She wasn’t really sure how to approach it and they had been having such a good time she didn’t want to ruin the mood. But when their conversation hit a lull and they had been browsing in silence, she decided it was time. So she cleared her throat and licked her lips delicately “Hey, so, I wanted to say I was sorry.”

 

“It’s fine” Santana said quickly without looking away from the rack of shirts she had moved on to now.

 

“It’s not. I haven’t been fair. I know it must have been hard on you when I suddenly-”

 

“It’s fine” Santana repeated as she turned now to look at Rachel. She gave her a little smile and shrugged her shoulders “Kurt told me.”

 

“Kurt...told you?” Rachel’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “What did he tell you?”

 

“He told me about your producer and director and how they have been pressuring you to be at the top of your game because the Tony’s and how a win could really put the show on the map.” Santana shrugged a little and picked up a shirt now “It’s no big deal, I understand. You’ve worked hard, I know how much it would mean to you. You should have just told me you needed to be focused. I wouldn’t have been so obnoxious the past couple weeks.”

 

“Oh” Rachel said with a little nod. She was fighting a smirk. The entire story was a complete lie. Kurt knew about the kiss and how Rachel was confused. He must have made up the story figuring Rachel was acting all weird about it. She would have to remember to thank him for helping her not look too awkward. “Right” Rachel finally smiled up at her friend then gave a shrug “I guess I got so consumed I didn’t even think about just telling you. I should have.”

 

“Yeah you should have” Santana said with a laugh before turning to look at Rachel now with a smile. “Just promise that once all this award frenzy shit dies down you’ll come out of hiding. I’ve kind of missed you.”

 

“Just a little bit?” Rachel smirked, holding up her fingers to show a little space between them.

 

“Less than that” Santana rolled her eyes and gave Rachel a nudge with her shoulder.

 

“They’re nudging” Emily whispered from behind a stack of jeans. 

 

“Nudging?” Paige pushed some pants out of the way so she could see. “What is nudging?”

 

“You know?” Emily used her elbow to nudge at Paige gently. “Nudging! A casual but not so casual way of bodily contact when you are trying to flirt.”

 

“Nudging is not used solely for flirting” Paige said with a roll of her eyes.

 

“I nudge when I flirt” Emily said with a shrug.

 

“Were you just flirting with me?” Paige motioned to where Emily had just nudged her.

 

“No! I was demonstrating” Emily huffed softly. 

 

“See?” Paige gave a satisfied smirk “It’s not solely for flirting.”

 

“You are impossible” Emily rolled her eyes in an attempt at annoyance but it failed when she laughed softly. “I hate you.”

 

“You think I’m adorable” Paige smirked and gave her a playful nudge with her elbow.

 

“Hey, San?” Rachel said after another lull of silence between them. They had moved on now from skirts completely and were looking at shoes.

 

“Hmm?” Santana was eyeing a stellar pair of heels with fake diamonds all over them.

 

“Are you really dating Zoe?” Rachel bit her lip nervously. She didn’t want this to start another argument.

 

Santana set down the heels and slowly let her fingers slide over a new pair, not wanting to lift her eyes to look at Rachel. She knew Rachel would see right through her. She just shrugged at the question and picked up a new pair of shoes to act interested in “Why does it matter?”

 

Rachel just shrugged and carefully eyed Santana’s body language. She could tell her friend was trying to desperately avoid the subject. So she just shrugged again and turned to pick up a shoe as well “It doesn’t, I guess.”

 

Santana frowned at her words. She had kind of hoped Rachel would give her a reason, any reason, that it mattered to her. So to hear it didn’t was like a kick to the gut. “Well good” She mumbled and set down the shoe. She sighed and turned her back to Rachel “Are we done here yet or what?”

 

“Yeah” Rachel just nodded and looked at her feet. She could tell Santana had been wanting to hear something different but what could she do? She couldn’t tell Santana what she wanted to hear. She wasn’t even sure what Santana wanted to hear but she was sure she couldn’t say it regardless.

 

Just then an entire rack of shoes hit the ground behind them. Both girls whirled around in shock only to see shoes covering the floor and Emily laying in the pile of them. She looked up at the two girls with wide eyes and tried to smile casually up at her cousin that was standing over her now “Uh, hey guys.”

 

“Em, are you okay?” Paige leaned down in an attempt to help her up.

 

“What the Hell are you two doing here?” Santana glared down at the girls in the mess of shoes.

 

“Excuse me” An employee came up to the girls now and stood over them with her hands on her hips. “I need you two to stand up and kindly remove yourself from the store. You are lucky that none of the merchandise was damaged.” 

 

“I’m so sorry” Emily was on her feet now, brushing herself off and straightening her clothes. “I was just, um, looking? And I turned around really fast and I bumped my elbow on the rack and that kind of threw me off balance and then it fell over with me.” She licked her lips and cleared her throat as she pushed her hair off her face. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t make me ask you again.” The employee said firmly, folding her arms in front of herself. “Please leave before I call security.”

 

“No need to do that” Paige said quickly and shook her head as her hand reached for Emily’s. She looked at Santana and Rachel who were staring at them as if they were complete strangers and offered them a smile “I guess we will see you later, ladies. Em” She glanced back and nodded her head “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

 

Both Emily and Paige dipped their heads and quickly made their way through the store. They were being stared at by everyone as they rushed through the building toward the door. Santana watched them until they were out of view before looking at Rachel with a completely confused look on her face “What the Hell was that?”

 

“Do you girls know them?” The employee asked as she scooped up shoes from the floor.

 

“No” Rachel said quickly. 

 

“No we were just standing here. We had nothing to do with that” Santana nodded and offered a smile. “We’re going to go, though. Good luck with...” She motioned to the mess and smirked before turning, grabbing Rachel’s arm, and leading her away from the mess.

 

Once the two of them were outside as well, Santana let out a little laugh and motioned behind her to the store “I repeat. What the Hell was that?”

 

“I have no idea” Rachel shook her head and pulled out her phone. She dialed Paige’s number and waited for her to answer. “Hey, hi Paige! Yeah, weird seeing you too. Can I talk to Emily?”

 

Santana arched an eyebrow at her friend then let out a soft laugh. Her cousin was about to get one of Rachel Berry’s famous lectures and she was disappointed she couldn’t see Emily’s face in person right now.

 

“Hi, Emily.” Rachel clenched her jaw and she forced a smile to come to her lips “Yes, it was weird running into you at the exact same store you knew Santana and I were going to. No, I don’t believe that you forgot.” She folded her arms with a huff and shook her head against the phone “Of course I am mad at you!”

 

“Woah, hey, Rach look it’s okay” Santana nodded her head and put a hand on Rachel’s shoulder lightly.

 

Rachel just shrugged out of her touch and shook her head into the phone again “That was totally out of line. I can’t believe you would spy on us! You knew how important today was and you just couldn’t help yourself, could you?”

 

“Hey” Santana frowned now and grabbed the phone from her and put it to her ear “Hey Em. Don’t worry, I’ll calm her down. Just head home.” She hung up and looked at Rachel with a hurt look on her face “What is your problem? You are lashing out against my cousin for no reason!”

 

“It isn’t for no reason” Rachel growled and reached to take her phone away from Santana. “She was spying on us!”

 

“Spying on us?” Santana folded her arms and shrugged “And what in the world did she even have to spy on? We were shopping, Rachel. It’s not like there was anything else going on.”

 

Rachel huffed and stuffed her phone into her purse then pushed some hair from her eyes. She rolled her eyes and gave a little nod of her head as she breathed in a few times to calm herself down. She was over reacting. Santana was right, it was just them shopping together. But she still couldn’t help but feel like they had been robbed of something when Emily came crashing down with the shoes. She couldn’t quite put a finger on it but she felt like they had missed out on something.

 

“I’m sorry” Rachel finally mumbled and let out a heavy sigh. “I don’t know what got into me. I guess I was just having a nice time today and got a little upset that it had to come to an end.”

 

Santana couldn’t help the soft smile that came to her lips. Sure she hated when Rachel got sappy, for the most part, but for some reason hearing her say she had been enjoying herself made her heart flutter. It wasn’t even about her maybe romantic feelings for Rachel, it was the fact that her best friend was saying she had missed her, if in not so many words. “Hey, look, how about we do it again tomorrow, okay? Maybe less shoes all over the floor and a little more shopping?”

 

Rachel smiled softly and gave her head a little nod. “I like the sound of that, actually. Maybe we can even get lunch and go sit in Central Park?”

 

“Whatever you want” Santana smiled and moved to slide her arm around Rachel’s shoulders. “But for now, let’s go home. You have a lot of apologizing to Emily to do.”

 

Rachel frowned and gave her head a nod “I’m so sorry.”

 

“Hey don’t apologize to me” Santana shrugged her shoulders as the girls moved down the street toward their loft. “Although I am curious as to why you said today was so important.”

 

Rachel was glad she was shorter than Santana and that she was looking down because she blushed at the question. Why had she said that? It wasn’t all that important, was it? It was just a day where they were getting back into the groove of being friends. It wasn’t like there was anything else behind the outing, right?

 

“Not gonna tell me, huh?” Santana asked with a laugh, giving her a little nudge with her hips. 

 

“Sorry” Rachel whispered as she shook herself out of the thoughts that had been racing through her head. “I’ve just missed you, that’s all. I wanted to have a nice day together.”

 

“It was nice” Santana nodded as they crossed the street together, Santana’s arm sliding off of Rachel’s shoulders but the two of them staying close as they moved. “I look forward to doing it again.”

 

“Yeah” Rachel said with a quick nod and a fake smile. They fell into a comfortable silence for the rest of the trip back to the loft. Santana seemed happy to take in the beautiful day as they walked and Rachel was deep inside her own mind again. Why was today so important to her? It was just two friends hanging out again, right? Then why didn’t it feel like that to Rachel? It felt like more. 

 

Somewhere deep inside herself, somewhere she didn’t know existed until this very moment, she had wanted more out of today. She had wanted it to be special. She had wanted Santana all to herself for as long as she could. As the realization flooded her, she went warm and felt like she might be sick. In that moment she realized why the day had been important. She realized why she hadn’t told Santana no. She wanted Santana to herself because somewhere deep inside her she had more than just friendly feelings for Santana.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Rachel hadn’t said much of anything else on the way home. She was too terrified to. She couldn’t even look at Santana. She was afraid just looking at her would give away the revelation coursing through her entire being in that moment. She was afraid to open her mouth. She knew just parting her lips the slightest bit would cause the terrifying truth to spill out. So she was quiet. She kept her eyes at her feet. 

 

As soon as the loft door was slid open for her by Santana, she rushed inside and immediately over to Emily. “Rachel, I’m so sor-” She was cut off when Rachel grabbed her arm and tugged her none too lightly toward her bedroom.

 

“Hey, woah” Paige stepped up and tried to slow Rachel down by grabbing her arm. “Hey, I am just as much at fault. Just calm down, Rach.”

 

Rachel whirled around and tugged her arm from Paige’s grasp. She lifted her free hand now in a motion that told Paige to stop. Their eyes met and though they hadn’t been friends too long, Paige understood the look in Rachel’s eyes. It was a panicked look, not an angry one. There was a softness in her eyes that almost pleaded for Paige to just let them go. So she did. She nodded and gave a weak smile and dropped her hands away completely.

 

Rachel nodded in thanks and turned to continue her journey toward her room. If she didn’t get there quick, she might explode.

 

“Rachel” Santana moved toward her bedroom too. “You better not hurt my cousin!” She was in full on protective mode and was about to burst into the room and give Rachel a piece of her mind about how she was treating her cousin but Paige stepped between her and Rachel’s room and gave her head a shake. 

 

“It’s alright” Paige said calmly, putting her hands on Santana’s shoulders. “She just needs to talk to her. I promise if we hear yelling or crying I will let you go in there, okay?”

 

Santana arched an eyebrow at Paige’s suddenly calm demeanor. Five seconds ago she was trying to stop Rachel and now it was all alright? She gave her head a shake and brushed Paige’s hands off her before taking a few steps backwards. “Fine but I don’t see why Rachel is so pissed off anyway. She’s being over dramatic, like always, but this is like a new extreme for her.”

 

Paige took in a deep breath and let it out calmly before moving to put a hand on Santana’s back and motioning her to the kitchen “Coffee?” When Santana looked at her with confusion, Paige just smiled “Emily and Rachel have been bonding and you know as well as I do that forming a friendship with Rachel Berry is delicate. So whatever is going on, let it go. Like I said, if we hear it starting to hit the fan, we can go in there.”

 

Santana rolled her eyes and sat down at the table when they reached it. She watched Paige move around to make them a fresh pot of coffee and a little smirk came to her lips “I gotta hand it to you, McCullers. You are one of the very few people I’ve met who haven’t been intimidated by me.”

 

Paige let out a soft laugh and glanced at Santana between scooping coffee into a filter “That is probably because I don’t want to sleep with you.” She thought about it then shrugged “Or you don’t threaten anything I want.”

 

Santana laughed very softly and nodded her head “Touche, my friend.”

 

As soon as Rachel got Emily into the safety of her room, she let her arm go and took a deep breath. Her eyes lifted to the girl and it was obvious by the look on her face that she was not mad. There was something else there, a definite panic. When Emily saw this, her scared expression faded and concern filled her features “I’m so sorry Rachel. I just wanted to know how your day with Santana went, that’s all.”

 

Rachel shook her head and held up her hand to stop her from speaking. Her eyes shifted toward the sheet barrier between them and the kitchen and she let out a sigh. She moved all the way across her room to the corner furthest away from where Santana was and motioned Emily to follow. Emily was cautious at first but followed her anyway. Once the two girls were tucked away in the corner, Rachel looked at her feet and gave another shake of her head “I’m so sorry I freaked out on you, Em.”

 

“It’s okay” Emily smiled sincerely. “I interrupted. I don’t blame you.”

 

“No” Rachel looked up at her slowly and frowned “It wasn’t right. I freaked out and that isn’t your fault. It’s my fault. I just wanted to have a day with my best friend, you know? I was really excited about her and I just hanging out like before. I hadn’t realized how much I missed her.”

 

“I know” Emily offered softly but Rachel just continued to talk right over her as the truth that she had feared started to spill out.

 

“And then I realized I was so upset about it being cut short because of how much I had missed Santana. I mean I had really missed her. I missed her more than you miss a best friend, which I didn’t really think was possible because I’m the kind of person who misses a friend if I don’t talk to them for like eight hours, you know?” She shook her head to try to bring herself back to the point. She drew in a breath and let it out slowly as she spoke “I was so mad that this special time with Santana was cut short not because I hadn’t gotten any information out of her but because I had wanted all of this time with her to myself.”

 

Emily nodded slowly and put a hand on Rachel’s arm “And I am so sorry I couldn’t mind my own business.”

 

“I wanted this time with her to myself” Rachel repeated as her eyes lifted to Emily. Her gaze was firm and her tone serious when she spoke again “I wanted her all to myself.”

 

Emily just shrugged “I know.”

 

“No” Rachel almost hissed then reached out to grab Emily’s shoulders tightly. “I wanted her all to myself. I didn’t want to share. I wanted it to be me and I wanted it to be her and anything that got in the way of that was unacceptable.”

 

“I know” Emily said again a little weaker this time. She was starting to get a bit confused. 

 

Rachel let out a frustrated grunt and let Emily go “No” She said again firmly, trying to keep her voice down. She drew in a deep breath, held it for a moment, closed her eyes, and let it out slowly. When her eyes came open again and found Emily she nodded with each word she spoke “I wanted Santana to myself.” Before Emily mumbled ‘I know’ at her again she held up her hands to stop her “And I wanted her to myself because I want her.”

 

Emily blinked at the finality of the words. It was like what Rachel was saying made complete sense all of the sudden and that confused Emily even more. Her tone and her face were so sure! She wasn’t positive Rachel really knew what she was saying. “Wait” Emily shook her head a little bit “Rachel, are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

 

Rachel nodded and looked down at her feet. She took in a deep breath to steel her nerves then glanced back up at Emily “Don’t ask me how but I realized why I didn’t stop Santana from kissing me. Somewhere deep inside me, somewhere I didn’t know existed, there are these feelings just kind of hanging out. Today, when I didn’t get to just spend a day alone with her, I guess they stopped laying dormant and came to life. They just bubbled to the surface like when you drink too much soda and feel like you need to burp but all that comes up is bubbles.”

 

“Ew” Emily whispered but quickly motioned with her hand for Rachel to continue on.

 

Rachel just took a breath. She closed her eyes again and swallowed hard. She was trying so hard not to freak out again as everything started to pour out of her. It was like a release she hadn’t been aware she needed and now that it started it was growing harder and harder to hold it back. “Somewhere over the many years of knowing your cousin I have developed feelings that are more than just friendly feelings, Emily. I have no idea how that happened because for most of the time that I’ve known her the thought of her has either disgusted me or evoked fear in me.” She paused and looked at Emily with a firm glare “Don’t you dare tell her I told you that.”

 

Emily nodded quickly and held up her hands in a sort of surrender motion.

 

Rachel gave a satisfied nod then continued “But somehow we formed this friendship that is actually really beautiful and complex and satisfying and it works, you know? Somehow she and I grew into incredibly well-functioning friends. She’s probably the best friend I’ve ever had and that’s saying a lot considering I’ve always thought Kurt was my soulmate in that way. But apparently it has actually been Santana this entire time and now, well now it’s all completely confusing because not only is she my very best friend but she could potentially be the person I’m destined to be with too?”

 

Emily knew Rachel could rant. Santana had told many a story about the way Rachel could talk for hours on end. But seeing it now she was a little blown away. She had grown up with a friend who could go on rants herself but those Spencer Hastings rants didn’t even hold a candle to this. Emily just nodded, looking a little dumbfounded, and offered up a weak smile “Hey, look, it’s okay. We can’t really control who we like, okay? Besides, it could be worse.”

 

“How!” Rachel squeaked a little too loudly which made her freeze and stare at her sheet doorway. When it didn’t seem like she had been heard outside her room, she let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding and looked back at Emily “How could this be worse, Emily? Do you know how disastrous this is? Having romantic feelings for your best friend is the best way to chase said best friend away! You think I can just waltz out there and be like oh hey Santana guess what I liked when you kissed me because I secretly want you to do it again and again?” 

 

She threw up her hands in defeat and turned away from Emily. She started to pace around the room as thoughts raced through her mind. Though the realization had come crashing down on her while she was out with Santana, she hadn’t gotten a chance to actually work it out. Now that she was away from Santana and in the privacy of her own room it was all spilling out. It was coursing through her veins like a transfusion of new blood. She felt so many different things all at once. She felt warm from head to toe, nauseous, nervous, excited, and like she might start crying. It was all a rush of emotion and poor Emily was the one watching it unfold.

 

“Look” Emily said softly, grabbing Rachel’s arm when she passed her in her pacing. “This isn’t the end of the world. We have all had feelings for our friends at one point or another. I was in love with my best friend in high school before she disappeared. Santana and Brittany?” She gave her a soft smile and shrugged her shoulders lightly “It’s honestly probably the most normal thing we go through as humans. So please stop freaking out because you are freaking me out.”

 

“I can’t” Rachel said with a frown. “I can’t stop freaking out. That’s who I am. I freak out and get obsessed and go crazy until I do something completely stupid to ruin it.”

 

Emily let out a soft laugh “So don’t. If you know that’s what you do, don’t do it.” She motioned Rachel to her bed and moved with her until she got her to sit on the edge of it. She leaned down in front of her, took both of Rachel’s hands between her own, and stared right into her eyes “I’m here with you, okay? I’m not going to let you freak out and get obsessed and go crazy and ruin it. I can act as your buffer, so to speak. I can help you figure this out.”

 

Rachel let out a weak sigh and shook her head “Obviously Santana hasn’t told you how crazy I can be.”

 

Emily smiled at that “Of course she has. But that doesn’t make me think I can help any less.”

 

The corner of Rachel’s mouth twitched into a slight smile “The ability to deal with crazy must be genetic.”

 

Emily let out a laugh at that and stood up now from where she had been crouching in front of her “You have no idea. Have you ever met a Hispanic family? Crazy is the first trait passed on.”

 

Rachel nodded and laughed very softly. She drew a deep breath in as her laugh died and closed her eyes. Thoughts and doubts swirled around in her mind. She wasn’t sure Emily could help but if she was confident she could then what could the harm in letting her try be? Slowly Rachel’s eyes came open and she offered Emily another weak smile “Are you sure you’re up for this?”

 

Emily’s smile was one of relief. She had talked Rachel off the edge, so to speak. She gave her a quick nod and a squeeze of the hand she was still holding “Trust me, Rachel. Something tells me everything is going to be alright.”

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.


	9. Big news and big awards

Luckily Rachel didn’t have to dance awkwardly around Santana for too long. Though the realization that she had feelings for Santana had rocked her world and she was terrified it would show the next time she even looked at Santana, that had not been the case. She had managed to go about her usual business the rest of that day, even somehow adding a little something to her performance that night on stage. It was good Santana hadn’t gone to see her that night randomly. She was sure she would have forgotten everything and just stood in the middle of the stage staring like a deer in the headlights. But that was not the case and by the time Rachel had gotten home, Santana was in bed, worn out from her shift that night at the diner. Good. Rachel could use the time before bed to figure out how she was going to act normal around Santana now. 

 

Even if Emily said she would help her out she was still panicking on the inside. No one in the world had been able to help her act normal when something like this was on her mind. Well, Santana had. Santana was good at things like that. She somehow managed to balance Rachel’s crazy. Rachel liked that about her. She liked a lot about her, now that she thought about it. Which she did, way too long that night. It must have helped her fall into a peaceful sleep, though, because the next thing she knew she was startled awake by a happy shriek from across the loft.

 

Rachel shot up in bed, blinked the sleep out of her eyes with confusion and a bit of panic racing through her body. Someone had just screamed, right? That wasn’t a dream? Or was it? Was a murderer about to slash through her sheet walls and go after her now? Wait, it was morning? When had she even drifted off?

 

Her thoughts were cut short when her sheet door was nearly ripped off and Santana came running at her bed before launching herself onto it with a leap “RACHEL!”

 

Rachel screamed. What? She had just thought a murderer was coming for her and suddenly there was someone running and jumping in her direction. She was still discombobulated from her slumber. She didn’t know it was Santana!

 

Santana’s eyes widened at Rachel’s scream and she stared at her in shock for a moment. The two of them just stared, actually. Rachel clutched the sheet to her heart and her shoulders heaved with each labored breath she drew in. Santana just took in the look of her disheveled friend for a few beats before she started laughing hysterically “Did I scare you!?”

 

“No!” Rachel squeaked very unconvincingly which only sent Santana further into her fit of laughter. Rachel let out a frustrated grunt and picked up her pillow, using it to hit Santana in the side of the head in a not very playful way “Stop laughing! Of course you scared me! You woke me up with a scream, I’m assuming that was your scream. If not, I don’t want to know why I heard a scream and then you came running in here looking all happy. I don’t want to know who you just murdered and no I don’t want to help you hide the body. The less I know the better so I can claim innocence and not be lying during the trial.”

 

“Relax, it was my scream” Santana said as her laughter died down. She shook her head in amusement at her friend then her smile fell and she blinked as realization set in “Wait, you wouldn’t help me hide the body? I thought we were friends!”

 

“We are” Rachel shrugged.

 

“I would help you hide a body” Santana pouted out her bottom lip and batted her eyes at her friend.

 

“I would never be sloppy enough to need help” Rachel shrugged nonchalantly.

 

“I’m not sloppy!” Santana said with a huff, still pouting. “I just prefer to do the dirty work myself. You, on the other hand, would probably hire a hitman which in itself is dirty because that can be traced back to you. If you are going to murder someone you are better off doing it yourself. You can’t trust anyone not to spill the beans when their freedom is in jeopardy.”

 

“You literally just trusted me to hide a body with you” Rachel said with a laugh, motioning toward the sheets to where the dead body was hypothetically waiting to be disposed of. “Wait, you didn’t really murder someone, right?”

 

Santana let out a laugh and batted Rachel’s hand down “No! Jesus, I thought we established that! But good to know not to come to you if I need help with that body.” She huffed in disappointment and folded her arms “Rude” she added in a whisper.

 

Rachel rolled her eyes at Santana’s disappointment in her not wanting to help with a dead body and smiled “So why were you screaming then?”

 

“Oh!” Santana let out a laugh at the reminder of how this whole thing started. Her grin widened and she sat up on her knees on Rachel’s bed. “So” She reached out and took her friend’s hands and gave them both a tight, excited squeeze “You remember that commercial I shot a few weeks back?”

 

“Of course” Rachel said with a smile. “I have it on the dvr, actually! I am very proud of you for that.”

 

“Oh my god, you do?” Santana’s lip curled up in disgust then let out a laugh “You are such a goober.”

 

“You never know when I could bring home some producer looking for the next big thing and we just happen to get talking while watching tv that he thinks is live but is actually strategically put on by me so he just so happens to see your commercial, fall in love, and bam you are the next big thing!” Rachel shrugged at her idea as if that was a normal occurrence.

 

“How often do you bring home producers? Or anyone for that matter?” Santana rolled her eyes with a laugh. She shook her head but smirked because, well, Rachel was actually kind of adorable and as much as she would hate to ever admit it she liked the thought of Rachel saving the commercial just because she was proud of her.

 

“You never know” Rachel laughed softly.

 

“Shut up” Santana said through another soft laugh. “Anyway, will you stop talking so I can tell you why I committed murder?”

 

“I never stop talking” Rachel said with a shrug “And we already established that there is no murder. So will you tell me why you were screaming already?”

 

“No murder that you know about” Santana lifted a finger as if making a point. She smirked then grabbed Rachel’s hand again “Okay, so a film student saw my commercial and thought I had a face for film because, obviously I do” She smirked and lifted a hand to fluff at her hair with obnoxious yet sarcastic narcissism.

 

“Obliviously” Rachel agreed with a sarcastic nod of her head.

 

“So anyway the film student got my information and showed my head shot to this director that she has been interning for and the director liked my look and wanted me to read for a part. I didn’t tell you because I honestly didn’t think I could get it and I hate getting your hopes up. But apparently I got the part!”

 

“Another commercial?” Rachel perked up, her eyes lighting up with excitement.

 

“Nope” Santana could barely contain her smile now. “I got the main role in a horror film! I mean, it’s totally indy and low budget but who cares, right!? It’s a movie!”

 

“Are you kidding!?” Rachel screamed again, this time out of excitement and not fear of being murdered. She launched herself into Santana and wrapped her arms around her in a tight hug. “Oh my god, Santana! I am so happy for you! A real movie!”

 

“I know right!” Santana laughed out loudly as she held Rachel firmly in the happy embrace. “I can’t believe it! As soon as my agent told me I got the part my first thought was telling you! You never let me give up!”

 

“Of course not!” Rachel let out a laugh and pulled back from the hug now to look at her friend. “You never let me give up! What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t return the favor?”

 

“A shitty one” Santana said with a laugh. “But seriously Rachel I don’t think you realize just how amazing this is and it’s all because of you!”

 

“I didn’t do anything” Rachel let out a soft huff and waved her hand to the side, waving off the notion that it was her that had done it. “It was all you. I was just the nagging voice reminding you how great you are.”

 

“No, seriously” Santana was still smiling but her face was far more serious now. “I would have stopped auditioning for commercials if you hadn’t reminded me. I would have stopped trying if it wasn’t for your nagging. I thought I was going to die at that diner and now, because you wouldn’t let me die, I could be on the brink of something huge. So, really, thank you Rach.”

 

“Of course” Rachel said softly, her hand lifting to lay over her heart. The way Santana was looking at her and the sincerity in her tone was truly touching. It still amazed her that Santana honestly appreciated her. “Awww, come here” She pulled Santana into another tight hug and let out a happy sigh “I am so proud of you, San. I know you are going to do amazing.”

 

“Thanks” Santana whispered softly, her eyes closing for a moment as she settled into the embrace. Her heart was thundering in her chest and she knew it wasn’t from the excitement of the movie anymore. It was because of Rachel. The way she looked at her with such pride, how she was holding her at that very moment. Just like that, as two friends shared an innocent embrace, Santana’s feelings rushed forward again. She had been doing so well with denying they existed but in that moment she couldn’t and now she was nervous that when Rachel pulled back she would see it written all over her face.

 

In that same instance, Rachel had the same fear. As she hugged onto her friend the realization of her feelings from the day before rushed back and she knew as soon as the hug ended Santana would be able to tell. So there the two of them sat, in the middle of Rachel’s bed, both afraid to pull away in fear of being found out. The hug lingered and slowly inched away from acceptably normal between friends toward awkwardly long for friends to just awkward all together.

 

Finally Rachel cleared her throat, pulled away, and quickly slid out of bed. She turned her head in fake search for clothing “So how are we celebrating?”

 

Santana frowned when Rachel pulled away and immediately busied herself. She knew what that meant. Rachel was uncomfortable again. Damn it. Why didn’t Santana just pull away sooner and run off saying she needed to call her mom? A perfect excuse and she could have escaped without awkward eye contact. Instead she was stuck with the overly long awkward hug and Rachel feeling grossed out by her gayness. Not to mention that drunken kiss adding to that! God, what the Hell was wrong with Santana? Why was she continuously messing this up!?

 

“San?” Rachel looked up quickly to see her friend staring at her hands folded into her lap. Great. She probably felt Rachel’s feelings for her seeping through her pores and now she was sitting there trying not to throw up and deciding the best way to dispose of her body. Perfect. So much for everything being alright. Stupid Emily, what did she know anyway?

 

“Sorry” Santana shook her head and offered a weak smile. She slipped off the bed too and shrugged, motioning toward the sheet door. “I was just thinking about how, wow, I have a lot to do before I leave. I should like pack and stuff and call my mom.”

 

“Wait, you’re leaving?” Rachel’s fear that Santana was grossed out faded and was replaced by a panic. “Why are you leaving?”

 

“The movie” Santana glanced up at Rachel and offered a shrug of her shoulders. “It starts filming in two days in Georgia. I know, totally lame. What is so great about Georgia, right? But there are a lot of wilderness scenes so, you know, I get it.” She bit her lip and for the first time since breaking out of the awkward hug, Santana’s eyes searched for Rachel’s. When Rachel’s eyes lifted and their gazes met, Santana sighed and the sudden sadness she felt about having to be away from Rachel was obvious without her having to say the words.

 

“No” Rachel whimpered and a frown took over her entire face. “San, how long are you going to be gone? The Tony’s are in two weeks and-”

 

“I know” Santana nodded quickly. “God, Rach, I didn’t even think about that. I was so excited when Zane told me that it didn’t hit me until right now. I can’t believe I am going to miss your first Tony!”

 

Rachel teared up immediately at Santana’s words. Through all the years, through all the talk of her being a Broadway star and one day winning a Tony, she never really thought it was going to happen. It had always been in the plan but so had meeting and befriending Barbra Streisand but that hadn’t happened. This had, though. She was really nominated for a Tony. She was more than just nominated, she was slated to win. It was all a daydream to her but through all the dreaming and doubt the one thing that remained for sure was if it happened Santana would be right there with her to celebrate. They had it planned out already. They knew what they were going to wear and the first drink they would order and the poses they would stand in for pictures. It sounded so stupid, childish even, but they had talked for hours about it and now none of it would happen.

 

“Rach” Santana’s heart broke as she moved across the room and slid her arms around her crying friend. Her eyes closed and she had to draw in a few very long, deep breaths to keep herself from crying. “I am so sorry, Rachel. You know I wanted to be there with you. I wanted to get all crazy drunk and obnoxiously walk around with the trophy as if it was mine and rub it in the loser’s faces!”

 

Rachel sobbed harder at Santana’s words. She would never admit it but she wanted to see Santana drunkenly waving the statue in everyone’s faces.

 

Santana almost lost it herself when Rachel cried harder. Why now? She looked up at the ceiling and scowled the meanest and nastiest scowl she had ever scowled in her entire existence. If there was a God or whatever then he had a pretty evil sense of humor and Santana was pretty sure he, or she, hated her. Why did this have to happen right now?

 

“Hey guys!” Emily’s voice broke through the loft suddenly and snapped both girls out of their sorrow. Santana looked in the direction of the voice and Rachel, still clinging to Santana, looked up. “I got bagels! Where are you? Are you home?”

 

“In here!” Santana called out.

 

Emily burst through the sheet door with a wide grin on her lips. She stopped mid step and her smile faltered as soon as she saw the way the girls looked. Her brow creased in worry and she breathed out softly “What’s wrong?”

 

Rachel frowned and buried her head against Santana’s chest. Santana let out a sigh, looked down at her friend, then over to her cousin with a shrug “I just got the best and worst news in my entire life.”

 

“What happened?” Emily asked again, this time with more panic in her voice. 

 

“I got that movie” Santana said with a sigh.

 

“Oh my god!” Emily perked up and smiled at the news. “San! That is so amazing! Congratulations! I am so proud of you!”

 

Rachel cried harder and Santana shrugged “But I will be filming during the Tony’s.”

 

Emily paused and her smile faded slowly. She cocked her head to the side curiously as her eyes took in the way Rachel’s body shook in sobs. She surveyed the scene carefully for a moment before finally shaking her head and shrugging “Okay? I’m sorry? I guess we can dvr it for you?” She knew Rachel was a Broadway freak but she didn’t think Santana missing a viewing of an award show was that big of a deal.

 

“No” Santana let out a laugh at her cousin’s confusion. “Em, Rachel is nominated this year. So we wouldn’t be watching in our pjs and eating popcorn and ice cream. We were going to go and wear awesome dresses and when Rachel won I was going to be like the obnoxious mother who gets to rub it in everyone’s face.”

 

“Oh” Emily said with a nod. She looked between the two girls again and it finally hit her. They were going together. It was something special between them. It was huge for Rachel, obviously, but with the new circumstances it was like really big for them now. “OH!” Emily said a little louder as more understanding set in. She frowned quickly and moved over to rub Rachel’s back “That sucks you guys!” She looked up at her cousin “There’s no way you could ask to like push back shooting or anything?”

 

“We haven’t even started!” Santana let out an annoyed huff. “I can’t just be some demanding diva. This is my first movie and it’s independent. They don’t need me, I’m a no name. They could replace me in no time.”

 

Rachel pulled away from Santana’s chest. She looked up at her friend and shook her head “They’d be stupid to replace you.” Her voice was froggy from the crying. She glanced at Emily and nodded “But she’s right. They wouldn’t hesitate to replace her. It’s not like she’s Meryl Streep or anything.”

 

Emily nodded quickly and let out a sigh “Right, I’m sorry.” She glanced between the girls then down to her feet “I’m sorry guys. This sucks.”

 

“No shit” Santana looked down at Rachel in her arms. She let out a heavy sigh as her hand lifted and she slowly moved it to brush Rachel’s wet bangs off her cheek and behind her ear “But hey, look, that doesn’t change the fact that you are still going to win and I will still obnoxiously rub it in everyone’s face. It’s just going to be a delayed rubbing, okay? I promise the night I get back from filming I will put on my dress, drink an entire bottle of tequila, snatch the trophy, and go stumbling around the streets telling everyone I see about you, okay?”

 

Rachel let out a soft laugh before sniffling and giving her head a shake “You will not drink an entire bottle of tequila. That will kill you.”

 

“You’ve seen me drink” Santana smirked and brushed her thumb under Rachel’s eyes to wipe at her tears. “This only changes the celebration slightly, okay? Besides, it’s not going to be your last Tony. I promise to be twice as obnoxious next year to make up for missing this one.”

 

Rachel half frowned and half laughed “I don’t want you to be twice as obnoxious and I don’t want you to miss this year.”

 

“I know” Santana let out a heavy sigh. “God do I know. But I can’t pass on this, either.”

 

“I know” Rachel nodded and stood up straight now. She reached for a tissue from the box on her dresser and wiped at her nose. She let out a heavy breath and rolled her eyes “Now I hope I lose so you don’t have to miss my first one.”

 

“Bite your tongue” Santana growled fiercely. “You will not lose, okay?”

 

“I could” Rachel shrugged.

 

“No” Santana narrowed her eyes into a firm glare. She held it for a few seconds before her head shook and her face softened. “I’ll watch from my trailer, okay? And call as soon as your category comes up so you can hear my live reaction on your voicemail when you’re done with the show. And if you don’t thank me in your speech I will kick your ass, okay?”

 

Rachel let out another soft laugh and tossed her tissue into her trash “I can call during the after party?”

 

Santana smiled softly and nodded “I’ll get a bottle of tequila and take a victory shot with you.”

 

“Deal” Rachel smiled weakly then let out another heavy sigh.

 

“Come here” Santana rolled her eyes and pulled Rachel into another tight hug. She kissed the top of her head and let out a heavy sigh herself “No matter what, I will always be there to celebrate, okay? I kind of love the crap out of you, kid.”

 

Emily bit her lip and had to fight the little squeak of happiness that wanted to escape. She had watched the entire exchange and wanted to die with how cute it had been. It was like watching an old married couple. Santana knew exactly how to calm Rachel down. The way they looked at each other? They were both beaming little love beams at the other. God she wanted to blurt out that they both had feelings for the other but that would be wrong. So she just bit back her giggles and motioned behind herself “I am going to go make some celebratory bagels and call my mom to tell her Santana’s news.”

 

“Oh my god, my mom!” Santana let out a laugh and glanced at her cousin. “I should call mine first. If my mom finds out from your mom before me she will kill me!”

 

“I bet she wouldn’t even need help with hiding your body” Rachel said with a nod.

 

“Oh shut up” Santana nudged Rachel and they shared a laugh.

 

Emily perked a curious eyebrow but decided to not ask. It was obviously an inside joke and it was cute watching them laugh over it. So she nodded and gave them a smile “I will go start the bagels. You call your mom.”

 

“Right” Santana gave her a salute and when Emily disappeared she looked back at Rachel with a slight pout “It’ll be okay. It’s not like I’m ditching you. I’m working on my Oscar. Then when I’m nominated and a shoe-in for the win you can get a new gig the week before and bail on me so it will be even, okay?”

 

Rachel rolled her eyes and pushed Santana away with a laugh “Oscar talk already? I thought you said it was an indy.”

 

“I’m talking about the future, toots.” Santana smirked and headed toward the sheet door so she could get her phone and call her mom. “We all have to start somewhere, right?”

 

“Oh well in that case I will be a huge star by then and could totally put off my new gig without fear of being replaced so I’m afraid your plan is flawed.” Rachel smirked and reached for her phone as well. She was going to text everyone from Glee and rub it in. Okay so maybe it was her time to play obnoxious mother of Santana right now.

 

“Oh, a diva I see” Santana smirked and paused at the door, giving Rachel a wink “I’ve taught you so well.” She let out a laugh then slipped out of the room to fetch her phone.

 

Rachel smiled and nodded a little. She watched Santana’s shadow move through the sheets until it faded when she obviously sat down on her bed to talk to her mother. She drew in a deep breath then slowly let it out as her eyes dropped to her phone. She was still completely upset that Santana was going to miss their Tony date but it really was for a great reason. She smiled a little. She was really proud of Santana. She bit her lip, pulled up a new text message, and mass texted everyone from Glee. Then she grabbed her notebook and started writing her victory speech. She knew exactly what she wanted to say.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Before she could blink an eye, Santana was gone. Georgia was surprisingly beautiful, if not sweltering hot. She was having a good time considering the low budget of the film didn’t offer any real comforts. They had tiny fans, had to share trailers, had to wash their own clothes, and had to pay for their own food. Rachel had insisted Santana take some of their vacation money to spend during the movie so she didn’t go broke out there. She knew she might not get paid for her time right away so she wanted to make sure Santana was taken care of until her check came through.

 

Her days were so full that Santana had barely realized she had been there a week. She had talked to Rachel and Emily every day. She had sent pictures from the set and even left voicemails when she got bored and knew they were too busy to answer the phone. It was crazy to think that this was her life and the two people she wanted to share it with most were so far away. 

 

The night of the Tony’s had come in a flash and although Santana had thought maybe she could have sneaked away from the movie for a night and surprise Rachel in New York, that had been shot down when she got her filming schedule for that week and realized they were shooting all night shots. Of course. So she was stuck having to watch from her trailer on her laptop hoping their wireless kept up. Luckily the one luxury the budget allowed for was internet so they could email dailies to their editing team. 

 

So there Santana sat, her eyes straining at the screen in the low light of her trailer. She hoped she wouldn’t miss Rachel’s award. She was between shots and they were changing lighting so she had some time. She kept one ear out for a knock to say she was needed back on set and the other one was plugged with an earbud listening to the show.

 

So far she was so bored out of her skull that she had taken to live texting Rachel her every thought as if she was right next to her. She knew Rachel wouldn’t dare check her phone in the middle of the show but it would hilarious for her to read afterwards. She smirked at the latest text she sent that made fun of how a certain actor’s butt had looked in her performance pants. That would surely get a laugh and then a scolding about being polite but it was worth it.

 

Just as she hit send it was announced that the next category was Rachel’s. Santana perked up, hit the button that made the livestream record, and smiled as she leaned closer to her screen. She dialed Rachel’s number and waited for her voicemail to answer so she could hear Santana’s reaction, as promised. She was breathing rapidly and her heart was beating so hard she thought it might cease and shatter in her chest. She couldn’t even imagine how Rachel was feeling. When her name was announced as a nominee and it flashed to her in the crowed, Santana grinned and mumbled into the voicemail just as it picked up“Jesus, Berry! You are killing it in that dress!” It had been the first shot of Rachel all night and it was well worth the wait, in Santana’s opinion.

 

“And the Tony goes to...”

 

Santana chest tightened, her breath hitched, and she was sure time stopped.

 

“Rachel Berry!”

 

“YES!” Santana screamed. She jumped out of her seat in excitement which sent her laptop flying off her lap and crashing to the ground. “NO! SHIT!” She leaned down and scooped it up quickly, which caused her to drop her phone in the process. “Fuck, shit, damn it please don’t be broken!”

 

Rachel was on her way to the stage in complete shock. When she had heard her name she had thought it was a dream. She had sat frozen in her seat for what felt like ten years when really it had been ten seconds before Emily, who had gone in place of Santana, had shaken her out of her shock.

 

“Rachel! You won! You won!” The words had sounded muddled, as if they were being screamed through pouring rain. But Emily gave her another shake and it was like her ears popped and reality settled over her.

 

She could hear the applause as she stood up. She looked around and everyone was all smiles, clapping for her, and a few motioning for her to head to the stage. Somehow her legs started carrying her there on their own accord and she managed to get up the steps without falling. 

 

Just as she was handed the trophy and given a kiss of congratulations on the cheek by the presenter, Santana got the feed back and she smiled widely as tears started down her cheeks without her even noticing “You go, Berry.”

 

“Wow” Rachel mumbled into the microphone as her eyes fell to the trophy. One hand was over her heart as the other clutched the little golden statue so hard her hand started to turn white. Her eyes scanned the audience and in that moment she realized this was not a dream. It was real. This was happening. She let out a soft laugh then looked back at her prize “I guess to say I’m shocked would be an obvious thing, huh?”

 

The crowd let out a laugh. Santana let out a laugh and wiped at her tears.

 

Rachel took a deep breath then let it out slowly as her eyes stayed locked on her trophy “I wrote a victory speech because my roommate and best friend insisted I was going to win and wouldn’t let me leave the house without one. I never actually thought I would need it though, I’m not that narcissistic.”

 

Another laugh from the crowd. Another laugh from Santana as her eyes rolled “They’d know you were lying if they knew you in high school.”

 

“Wow okay” Rachel took another breath and nodded. She was beginning to feel her limbs again. “Okay I want to start by thanking my fathers for exposing me to the world of musical theater and Barbra Streisand and every musical score from any movie that made them cry. If they hadn’t demanded I be able to recognize who wrote what by the time I was three I probably wouldn’t be here.” She let out a soft laugh.

 

Another laugh from the crowd, this one a little uncomfortable because they didn’t know if she was kidding or not. Santana knew she wasn’t and she cackled loudly.

 

“I want to thank my glee club adviser in high school, Mr. Schue, who reminded me that I was destined to be special when I wanted to quit. And for bringing me back every time I did quit” Another laugh from the crowd, “and taking me back every time I stormed out because things weren’t going my way.”

 

Santana shook her head with amusement “If only she were kidding.”

 

“To my fellow glee club kids who hated me and yet still supported me and somehow ended up as my family, thank you. If I hadn’t had you guys constantly telling me I sucked and wishing I would just shut up I wouldn’t be here. I liked annoying you too much to give up and let you win. Plus I dreamed about this moment and the many, many ways I would rub it in your face but I kind of just want to hug you all now because, really, we were a family. Dysfunctional without a doubt, but family nonetheless and I couldn’t have done this without you.” Rachel let out a laugh as tears started to form. She was trying so hard not to break down but it was getting harder.

 

Santana was crying now. The little trickle of happy tears had turned into full blown tears but she was smiling at the same time.

 

“Five minutes, Lopez” A knock came to her door and she almost jumped out of her skin. She had forgotten she was on set. She almost felt like she had been there in the crowd with Rachel. She sighed and called out through the door “Be right there!”

 

“Santana” Rachel’s voice pulled Santana’s attention back to her laptop. Rachel looked right into the camera and a smile came to her lips “My roommate, my best friend, the bane of my existence for many years, and often the loudest voice of all the critics in my life. I would, without a doubt, not be standing here if not for you. You pushed me in more ways than I think you know. Every time you made a negative remark it was your way of telling me I could be better. Every single time you told me you doubted me I know it was you pushing me past my own doubt. Your ways weren’t always orthodox, or even polite, but they were always for the best. You have pushed me since day one and as badly as I used to want to rub this in your face the hardest I now want to share it with you most. When you get back we are going to celebrate just like you promised.” She lifted the trophy and motioned toward the camera with a nod as tears started to stream down her face “Now hurry up with being a movie star and get back here. I have a bottle of tequila at home waiting for you!” She let out a laugh then waved at the crowd “Thank you guys so much!”

 

Santana let out a loud laugh through her messy, sloppy tears. She shook her head and wiped at her nose as she watched Rachel walk off the stage with her trophy in hand. Santana set her laptop down and looked for her phone. When she realized it was on the ground she quickly scooped it up and started to dial Rachel’s number again.

 

“Lopez!” Another knock came to the door and Santana moved over to answer it quickly, phone pressed to her ear.

 

“Hey, sorry, I just have to make this call-”

 

“You’re needed on set.” The guy not too politely grabbed her arm and gave her a little tug. When she stepped out of the trailer and into the brighter lights of the set it was obvious she had been crying. The guy groaned and lifted the radio to his mouth “Lopez needs make up.”

 

“What happened?” The director came up to her looking completely concerned. “Is everything alright?”

 

“Yes” Santana laughed “Sorry, I’m fine. I can go, I promise. I just need to a touch up and I am good to go.”

 

“Are you sure?” The director eyed her carefully. 

 

“Totally.” She realized that Rachel’s voicemail had picked up and she laughed into the phone as she moved toward make up “Rach, sorry, I just got pulled back to set but I saw you. I saw it all. You are such a fucking rock star, Berry! I can’t wait to come home and get sloppy drunk and be obnoxious with you.”

 

“Phone” The make up lady looked unamused as she started touching up Santana’s cheeks.

 

“I have to go, I’m getting in trouble, but I will call you as soon as I can, okay? Don’t have too much fun without me.” Santana bit her lip and let out a happy sigh “You did it, Berry. I’m so fucking proud of you.” With that she hung up the phone and set it on the make up table. She looked up at the make up girl who was reapplying her mascara and grinned “My best friend just won a Tony.”

 

“Don’t care” She mumbled “Now hold still or I’m going to stab you in the eye.”

 

Santana fought off a laugh and sat still. She was just too happy to let everyone else get her down. They were all tired and wanted to call it a night but she felt like she could run a marathon now. She was so pumped. She was going to kill this scene and get back to her trailer to call Rachel again. Hopefully she would still be at an after party so they could take their celebratory shot together. God she was just so fucking happy she couldn’t stand it.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Two hours later the director called it a night. Santana booked it to her trailer without a word to anyone else. She was so excited to get out of her make up, out of her costume, and into some pjs so she could call Rachel. She just hoped she was still awake. Of course she was still awake, she had just won her first Tony she was probably too wired to sleep. Santana smiled at the thought. She knew she was too wired herself, she could only imagine Rachel bouncing around in excitement all night demanding everyone stay up with her to celebrate.

 

After nearly tripping up the stairs to her trailer because she was in such a hurry, Santana managed to shower, change, and grab her phone in record time. She was one of the only ones that didn’t have to share a trailer and right now she was thankful for that. She didn’t want anyone telling her to get off the phone because it was too late and they had an early call in the morning. 

 

She dialed Rachel’s number and held the phone to her ear as she moved to the little fridge in her trailer and opened it in search of her tequila. She had bought a few little shooters in anticipation of this moment and now she couldn’t wait to feel the sweet burn of Rachel’s victory trickling down her throat in shot form.

 

Rachel answered the phone with an excited squeak “Santana!”

 

It was obvious by the background noise that Rachel was still at an after party and that, along with just the sound of Rachel’s voice, made Santana smile widely. “Hey there, rock star. What’s shaking?”

 

Rachel giggled softly and shook her head against the phone “Oh my god Santana this is the craziest night of my life. People who I have looked up to for years know my name and are congratulating me personally. I kind of feel like I’m still dreaming.”

 

Santana’s smile grew “It’s real, Berry. You made it.”

 

Rachel let out a happy sigh “I wish you were here to pinch me. Although you’d do it way too hard or on my ass just to be obnoxious, I’m sure.”

 

“You know me so well” Santana laughed softly. “Hey, is Em having fun? I saw her sitting next to you.”

 

“Oh my god she is having more fun than me, if that’s possible. I took a picture of her taking shots with like fifty stars. I will have to show them to you when you get back.” 

 

“Fifty?” Santana laughed again “And she’s not dead yet?”

 

“Okay so maybe that was an over exaggeration but whatever. She is having a blast.”

 

“Good” Santana nodded and glanced down at her hand. She smiled at the little plastic shooter of tequila and sighed “Hey you want to take a victory shot with me like we planned?”

 

“Yes” Rachel said quickly. “I have only had one glass of champagne because I didn’t want to get trashed and not be able to drink with you.”

 

“You have way more will power than I do. I would have probably had three bottles of champagne by now.” Santana laughed and uncapped the little plastic bottle she held.

 

“Trust me, I wanted to but I didn’t want to be passed out before you called.” Rachel smiled and looked at the tiny shot she had been handed an hour ago that she had been carrying around in hopes that Santana would call.

 

“I said I would call” Santana nodded slightly. She looked at her shot and let out a sigh “You ready?”

 

Rachel nodded quickly and smiled against the phone “I’m ready.”

 

Santana lifted her shot in a toasting motion and smiled “To Rachel Berry who just proved every hater in the world, including me, wrong. The sky’s the limit for you now.”

 

“Hear hear” Rachel lifted her little shot as if trying to clink her tiny shot glass with Santana’s before throwing her head back and taking in the liquid. Both girls fell silent as their respective alcohol slid down their throats and the taste consumed their mouths. Rachel coughed as soon as she swallowed and made a disgusted face at the tiny glass before setting it down “Oh my god that was awful.”

 

“Really awful” Santana coughed and tossed the tiny bottle away. “That was probably the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted. Remind me to never get tequila that cheap ever again.”

 

Rachel let out a laugh and nodded “Remind me to never hold onto a once cold shot for an hour until it’s uncomfortably warm and then take it. It felt like gasoline sliding down my throat.”

 

“I have got to teach you how to drink” Santana said with a disappointed sigh that turned into a soft laugh. They fell silent again, both of them sitting there on the phone, just kind of letting the moment soak in. 

 

Finally Rachel cleared her throat and broke the silence “San?”

 

“I know” Santana nodded and ran a hand back through her hair as she kicked back on her bed. “I wish I was there too.”

 

Rachel bit her bottom lip and looked at her Tony again “Come home soon.”

 

“As soon as I can” Santana nodded and looked at the picture of her and Rachel she had brought with her to keep her company.

 

“I should go” Rachel said after a moment of pause. “I should mingle a little more then get Emily home before she gets carried away.”

 

Santana nodded again and let out a soft sigh “Tell her hey for me, will you?”

 

“Of course” Rachel smiled and stood up from the table she had been sitting at and looked around the room in search of Emily.

 

“Hey, Rach?” Santana’s voice was soft but Rachel still heard it. When she made a soft humming noise to indicate she was listening, Santana took in a deep breath and smiled “I’m proud of you. I love you, kid.”

 

Rachel smiled and gave her head a shake “You gotta stop saying that.”

 

Santana’s heart twisted. Did Rachel think she had meant it in that way? The way that meant she like really loved her, loved her? She loved her like a friend, they both knew that. That is how she had meant it. Feelings for her aside, Santana needed her friend to know she loved her as a friend, as a human being. 

 

Trying to hide her sudden panic, she just asked in a weak whisper “Saying what?”

 

Rachel laughed softly “You gotta stop calling me kid.”

 

Santana let out a relieved sigh that turned into a tiny laugh “Right, my bad. My Rachel Berry is all grown up now. I’ll try and refrain from calling you kid.”

 

“ _ Your _ Rachel Berry, huh?” Rachel smirked in amusement at that.

 

Santana was so glad Rachel couldn’t see the blush that had just taken over her face at being called out for having called Rachel hers. She rolled her eyes and tried to play it off casually “I like to think I had something to do with it.”

 

Rachel bit her lip and nodded slightly. Santana had definitely had something to do with it. She was the biggest influence and cheerleader in Rachel’s life. She let out a soft sigh and just like Santana had, played it off casually “Maybe a little bit.”

 

“I’ll take all the credit I can get.” Santana said with a soft smile. “Goodnight, Berry. I’ll see you soon.”

 

Rachel nodded her head quickly and fought another round of tears. She didn’t want to say goodbye. She didn’t want this moment to end. The only thing she wanted in the world was the one thing she couldn’t have: Her best friend by her side. But she drew in a deep breath to calm herself and managed to mumble out a soft goodnight to Santana anyway. 

 

Both girls lingered in hanging up but finally Santana hit end and immediately closed her eyes. This was supposed to be the greatest time of her life. She was filming her first movie and her best friend had just won one of the most prestigious awards in her field of work and yet Santana wasn’t happy. She was thrilled, completely and utterly overjoyed, but she wasn’t happy. She wouldn’t be happy until she was home with Rachel.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	10. Welcome home celebration

Day in and day out time seemed to move slower. Santana could swear each day was now actually lasting 48 hours. That might be because she was up before the crack of day and working until well into the night each day but she believed it was because she missed home. She talked to Rachel and Emily every day but it wasn’t the same. She wanted to be at home. She wanted to see their faces and annoy them in person. She wanted to spend what little time her cousin had left in New York with her. She wanted to hug Rachel.

 

When the day she was finally done with filming came, she cried. Everyone thought she was crying because the crew who had worked together so closely had kind of become like a little family. She did like a lot of them and would miss them but she could live without them. No, she cried because she would finally get to go home and see her real family and that was an excitement she couldn’t contain no matter how hard she tried. 

 

The flight home was grueling. There was nothing particularly bad about it except for the fact that it was necessary in order to get home. She wished she could have just nodded her head, blinked her eyes, and be in that stuffy New York loft. But life didn’t work that way so Santana suffered every second of the plane ride home. She was bouncing her legs, checking her watch, and even asking the flight attendant how much longer every five minutes. It was easily the worst flight of her entire life.

 

Finally she stood outside the loft door and it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen in her life. Never had she been so happy to see the pale, dull, cold steel that protected her and Rachel from the outside world. She reached for the handle then froze. Suddenly she was nervous. Had anything changed while she was gone? Rachel had been distant before she left and even if they had talked daily what if that distance returned once she got home? For that matter, what about her own feelings? She had definitely had more than enough alone time in Georgia to think and every time she did her feelings for Rachel only came back that much stronger. 

 

As she stood in the hallway staring at the loft door she was no longer excited. Her mind raced with a million different possibilities. Would things be the same? Could she continue to deny her feelings for her best friend? She did still have Zoe on standby to fake date in case Rachel seemed to be catching onto her feelings. She blinked a few times and shook the thought out of her head. This was stupid. Rachel was her best friend. Nothing could have changed enough in the few weeks she had been gone to make things catastrophically different, right?

 

Finally gathering her nerve, Santana slid the door open and stepped inside. She glanced around and when she didn’t immediately see anyone there, she frowned. “Guys?” She called out as she tugged her luggage in behind her and left it near the door before sliding it shut. “Rachel? Emily? I’m home!” Where were they? She said she would be home that day and they assured her they would be there to greet her. So where the Hell were they?

 

Just then Rachel came out of the bathroom in some sweats, toothbrush in her mouth, towel wrapped around her head. She jumped when she saw someone standing there, having been alone when she had went in for her shower. It took her just a blink of an eye to realize who was standing in the loft with her and she immediately screamed with joy, which caused her toothbrush to fall out of her mouth and onto the floor “Santana!”

 

Santana smiled wider than she could ever remember smiling before. All of her worries melted away as she caught sight of her roommate completely caught off guard by her arrival. She let out a laugh and pointed to Rachel’s appearance “The magazines are right. Superstars ARE just like us!”

 

Rachel let out a laugh and ran over to Santana. She leaped at her in a full body hug. She had every faith in the world Santana would catch her. Which, she did. Rachel squeezed her tightly with both her arms and her legs for a few seconds before dropping to her feet and standing on her own. Her eyes lifted and she took in the way her best friend looked and her smile grew “You’re home! You are actually home! I thought I was never going to see you again!” Her hand lifted and she touched at Santana’s face and neck then slid her touch over her arms, squeezing every now and then.

 

“Hey, hey, woah” Santana let out a laugh and awkwardly wiggled her face away from Rachel’s touch. She watched Rachel groping at her arms and did her best to tug away “What the Hell are you doing? I didn’t think you missed me that much. Are you really that desperate for human contact?”

 

“Shut up” Rachel said with a laugh as her hands finally fell away from her friend. “I was making sure it was really you and not a dream! But it’s you! You’re home!”

 

“Yes it’s really me” Santana chuckled softly. She gave her head a shake at her best friend’s reaction then reached out to slide her arms around Rachel and pull her into another hug “I missed you.”

 

“I missed you too” Rachel whispered as her eyes closed and she melted into Santana’s embrace. She let out a happy sigh as her arms slid around Santana’s waist and gave her a tight squeeze. 

 

Santana nodded against the side of Rachel’s head where it had come to rest on her shoulder. Her eyes closed and she drew in a deep breath that immediately filled her nose with the smell of Rachel’s shampoo. She smiled at that. She had missed that smell. The two girls stood there tangled in a warm embrace for much longer than any normal pair of friends might. But when they finally pulled back, it wasn’t awkward at all. It had felt right.

 

“So” Rachel said with a grin as she stared at Santana. She couldn’t take her eyes off of her. It was like a dream come true. She was home. They say you never realized what you have until it’s gone and boy was that ever the case. “How was it?”

 

Santana shrugged and waved her hand to the side “Oh, you know, it was alright.”

 

“Just alright?” Rachel perked an eyebrow and let out a soft laugh. “No cool stories? You had plenty to say when I called you each night. Now I get nothing?”

 

Santana rolled her eyes and finally stepped back to put a little space between her and Rachel. They had been standing just inches apart after breaking away from their hug “You heard the stories, I had a great time. I guess I am just...” She let out a heavy sigh and smiled as her eyes looked around the loft “...glad to be home.”

 

Rachel nodded slowly and lifted her hands to the towel on her head. She undid it and gently slid it over her wet hair “I am so glad you’re home. Believe it or not, my life is pretty lame without you.”

 

“Oh I believe it” Santana said with a laugh as she moved to her bags now. She grabbed them and started to slide them across the floor toward her room but paused near the kitchen table. Her eyes landed on a magazine and immediately she reached for it “What is this?” She squeaked out happily, lifting it to show Rachel. Looking back at Rachel was a picture of Rachel on the front cover.

 

Rachel blushed softly and shrugged her shoulders as her hand continued to move the towel through her hair “It’s just a little feature on me and the show. Awards tend to draw attention.”

 

Santana let out a laugh and turned it around to look at it. She eyed the cover carefully, read the little bold letters that were printed to try and sell the story, then quickly flipped the pages open “This is so fucking cool, Berry. Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

Rachel shrugged and moved toward the bathroom now “I didn’t think you’d care.” She disappeared into the bathroom for just a moment and when she came back the towel was gone and she now had her brush instead.

 

“I wouldn’t care?” Santana huffed in disbelief and looked up from the pages to her friend “Rach you are in a magazine. That is fucking amazing. Why on Earth didn’t you think I’d care?”

 

Rachel just shrugged and looked a little guilty as she ran the brush through her hair. “You were so bummed about missing the Tonys that I didn’t want to make you feel worse. I have been so busy since I won, San. I wish you would have been here.”

 

Santana frowned a little and stared at the page she was on. She wasn’t particularly interested in the perfume ad she had the magazine opened to but she didn’t want to look up and see the hurt in her friend’s eyes at the mention of her having not been there that night. “I wish I could have too. But I’m here now, okay?”

 

Rachel nodded and moved over to Santana now. She reached out and gently put a hand on her shoulder “I’m not mad you missed it. I am so proud of why you were gone. Please don’t think this is something I am going to hold over your head. I would have done the same thing, you know I would have.”

 

Santana nodded at that. It was true. Had she had some huge event to go to but Rachel had been offered the chance of a lifetime she knew Rachel would have left too. There was no real way to not feel bummed about missing the Tonys, though. She would just have to give it time to get over it. She let out a sigh then turned the page in the magazine. She smiled as she found the article on Rachel and turned it to show her friend “You look smoking in that dress.”

 

Rachel let out a laugh and nodded a little bit “I got to keep it.”

 

“No shit?” Santana laughed. She looked up at her friend and their eyes met for the first time since the hug they shared. They locked gazes for a few heartbeats before Santana nodded and looked back at the magazine “I’m totally keeping this.”

 

“That’s fine” Rachel said with a nod, stepping away from Santana now. She moved to scoop up the toothbrush that had dropped out of her mouth then to the bathroom to put both that and her hair brush away. Once she returned to the kitchen she grinned at her friend “I have like fifty copies of that. I was going to sign them all and send them to all the glee kids and Mr. Schue.”

 

“Subtle” Santana said with a laugh, her eyes still focused on the magazine in her hands. She was completely enthralled by the fact that Rachel was in a major publication.

 

Rachel watched her friend for a moment and when it seemed that she was genuinely happy about the magazine, she took a breath and moved closer “I’m glad you are happy about the magazine because I’ve been asked to do a couple more.”

 

“Really?” Santana looked up from the magazine, her eyes wide in surprise. “No shit, Berry? Like, for real?”

 

Rachel smiled and gave a quick nod “Um I got asked by Broadway World, Entertainment Weekly, and Coming Up which is a new one that spotlights up and coming talents in the world.” She shrugged a little shyly at the last one “I do the shoot for that one next week.”

 

“That is so fucking sick” Santana said with an honest smile on her face. She shook her head and just kind of stared at her friend for a moment with sincere admiration on her face. “I am so proud of you. You’ve actually done it. You made it big.”

 

Rachel bit her lip and looked away from Santana. She couldn’t handle the way her friend was looking at her. Her eyes had held such true pride for her. It was almost like a lover looking at their loved one living their dream. It creeped her out a little but only because it made her own feelings for Santana rise back into her throat. It was the first time since Santana had left that the feelings had come back that strongly and it was a little overwhelming in that moment.

 

Santana just smiled at her friend and looked back to the magazine. She read a few of the lines in the articles and let out a soft laugh. Rachel Berry always had a flair for giving an interesting interview. After finishing up, she closed it and tossed it onto the table. She glanced at Rachel again and suddenly remembered “Oh, hey! Can I see it?”

 

Rachel looked up from where she had been lost in thought and a grin came to her lips. The goofy excited look on Santana’s face was enough to push away the weird anxious twist her gut was feeling and replace it with her own giddiness. She nodded quickly and motioned for Santana to follow her. She lead her the short distance to the living room area and over to the small mantel over the fireplace. There in a glass display case was the statue.

 

Santana drew in a quick breath and let it out in a slow sigh. “Woah” She said as her hand lifted and she touched at the glass. Her finger traced the shape of the award all the way down until it reached the engraved plaque in the front. She bit at her lip to fight a smile as she read Rachel’s name. She shook her head in disbelief and slowly looked over at her friend who stood beside her “It’s real, isn’t it?”

 

Rachel let out a soft laugh, her eyes on the trophy as well “Trust me, I have spent a lot of time staring at it, reading it, and replaying that night all over again. It is most definitely not a dream.”

 

Santana nodded and looked back at the trophy. The two girls stood there now, staring at it in silence. Santana tilted her head back and forth, looking at it from different angles. She nodded after a few minutes then nudged Rachel’s shoulder with her own “So how big of a bonus did you get for winning?”

 

Rachel let out a soft laugh and shook her head “That is a rude thing to ask someone. Didn’t anyone ever teach you proper etiquette? Discussing how much you make is not polite.”

 

“Oh come on” Santana let out a huff of a laugh. “I know how much you make, Rachel. You know how much I make. We are best friends and, frankly, I need to know if you are too rich and famous to live with me anymore.”

 

Rachel rolled her eyes at that but smirked in amusement “Actually, I was trying to think of a way to tell you. I got a new apartment, much smaller than this so there is no room for you at all in it. It’s downtown, right in the thick of things, so I will be closer to the action. I got it on the sixty-seventh floor of this huge high rise building. I was waiting for you to come home to tell you, I mean it’s the least I can do considering I am ditching you. I figured I would pay you to move all my stuff up there. You’ll do the work for cheaper and that way we can have one last day together before I never see you again.”

 

Santana nodded slowly at Rachel’s words. She was fighting a smile as she stared at the trophy still. She had missed their playful banter so much “I guess that’s only fair. How much you talking?”

 

“Like $250 or so” Rachel said with a nonchalant shrug. “I will make it an even $300 if you bring over the appliances. I really just don’t want to have to buy a new fridge.”

 

Santana shook her head and finally looked at Rachel “You can’t have the fridge. That’s my fridge.”

 

“Technically it’s mine, Kurt’s, and yours” Rachel grinned and offered a shrug. “I am willing to buy your third of it, though.”

 

“It’s not for sale” Santana said firmly and folded her arms.

 

“Oh come on” Rachel pouted out her bottom lip and batted her eyes. “It’s such a good fridge!”

 

“No” Santana stood firm, now glaring playfully.

 

Rachel sniffled and folded her arms across her chest too. The two girls found themselves in a stare down. Now had this been an actual fight and not them just being silly they might have held the stare down for hours and the glares would have been much more fierce. But it was luckily light-hearted banter and both girls stood there trying not to smirk.

 

Finally Santana broke the stare down and turned back to look at the trophy “Fine, you can have the fridge.”

 

“Yes” Rachel fist pumped then looked back at the award as well.

 

“But I’m taking the doors.”

 

“What!?” Rachel spun and looked at her friend in horror. “What good is a fridge without doors?”

 

Santana just smirked and gave her a shrug “That’s my third of the fridge that I choose to keep. Tough shit, Berry.”

 

Rachel looked at her in shock for a few moments before laughing and shaking her head in amusement. She slowly turned to look back at her trophy and silence fell between them again.

 

They stood there staring at the trophy for a few minutes before Santana lifted her arm and slid it around Rachel. She pulled her into her side and gave her a squeeze before letting out a happy sigh “It’s beautiful.”

 

Rachel let out a happy sigh and nodded as she happily leaned against Santana’s side “I can’t believe it’s all mine.”

 

Santana glanced over at Rachel leaning against her and smiled. This is what she had missed. She had missed just being near Rachel. She had missed their banter, whether playful or not. She had missed just having her best friend around her even if all they were doing was staring at a trophy. She hadn’t felt right in weeks but in that moment nothing in the world felt more right than being just like this with Rachel.

 

After a few more minutes of silence, Santana let out a sigh and slowly dropped her arm away from Rachel “I’m going to go crash for a few because I was up way too early this morning. But when I wake up I am coming to your show and then we are going to celebrate like I promised, alright?”

 

Rachel nodded quickly and smiled up at her friend “I can’t wait.”

 

“Me either” Santana said with a smile. She moved back over to her bags and started to pull them toward her room again. She paused once and looked at Rachel, giving her a little nod “I’m so happy I’m home.”

 

“I missed you” Rachel mumbled and bit her lip almost shyly as she watched Santana disappear into her room. She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly before glancing around the now empty area of the loft. Everything was going to be alright because no matter what else happened, Santana was home. Rachel had never felt the kind of peace she was feeling at that moment and it was all because of Santana.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“How do I look?” Santana stood in front of her full length mirror in her room, fluffing her hair and adjusting the dress over her boobs. She smiled as her eyes took in her own form. She was definitely rocking this dress.

 

“You look incredible” Emily, who sat on Santana’s bed, smiled softly. “I am so jealous I don’t get to participate in this celebration.”

 

Santana laughed softly and leaned closer to the mirror to apply her lipstick carefully. “You got to participate in the real celebration. I saw all of the pictures of you taking shots with all those Broadway babes. This is my turn.” She tossed her lipstick on her dresser and straightened up. Her dress was a full length gown because even though she has banging legs, she had wanted to look classy for the Tonys. She turned from one side to the other, watching the rhinestones shine each time she shifted. She grinned and ran her hands over her ass before giving a nod “And I am killing it in this dress. I am so bummed I didn’t get to show this ass off.”

 

Emily rolled her eyes and smirked a little bit “And take attention off of Rachel?”

 

Santana laughed and looked at her cousin through the mirror “Please, Em, you saw what she was wearing. People would have been nuts to look at anyone but her all night.”

 

Emily bit her lip and fought off an amused smirk. She just nodded her head and offered a smile. She wasn’t going to comment on just how obvious Santana’s crush on Rachel was at that moment even though she wanted to so badly just to see her cousin squirm.

 

Santana had leaned over into the mirror again and was now applying some mascara. She was moving carefully so she didn’t poke herself in the eye. She was silent as she did so and after a few minutes of silence she finally put the top back on the tube and tossed that aside as well. She straightened up once more, ran her hands over the pale blue material of the dress, and finally nodded in approval “I look hot. This is going to be an amazing night.”

 

As if on cue, Rachel stepped up to the sheet door of Santana’s bedroom and cleared her throat lightly “Are you ready in there? I mean you realize we aren’t really going to the Tonys so you don’t have to get too dolled up.”

 

Santana smiled softly and moved toward the door. Emily followed her and soon they were stepping out of the room and coming face to face with Rachel. Santana paused when her eyes caught sight of her roommate. Her eyes widened a bit and she drew in a sharp breath. She looked stunning. The dress she had worn to the actual ceremony was flawless but the dress she had worn for the night rivaled that one. It was form fitting but not in an inappropriate way. It hugged every curve but somehow still made Rachel look modest and lady like. It fell just below her knees and accented her calves and how they looked in the perfectly matched heels she wore. 

 

“Do I-” Rachel felt shy at the way Santana looked at her and looked away, tucking some hair behind her ear “Do I look okay?”

 

Santana let out a breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding and nodded her head quickly. She realized she was staring and quickly looked away, smoothing her hands over herself again to wipe the sudden clamminess from her palms “You look incredible, Berry.”

 

“Thanks” Rachel looked up slowly and offered a shy smile to her friend. Her eyes took a moment to look over Santana in her dress and her smile spread over her features a little more “Wow, San, that dress looks even more incredible than I remember.”

 

Santana felt a blush rising but just cleared her throat and looked down at herself to avoid Rachel catching any sight of the blush “Yeah well I have always had impeccable taste.”

 

Rachel nodded and bit at her lip. Her eyes lingered on Santana’s body in the dress. She felt her heart starting to pound against her ribs and she suddenly felt nervous about their celebration.

 

When Santana looked up and saw Rachel still looking at her, she smiled softly. Her eyes moved over Rachel once more and her mouth felt dry. She wasn’t sure this was a good idea. How was she going to be able to spend the entire night next to Rachel looking this amazing and have nothing happen? Maybe she shouldn’t drink.

 

With the two girls lost in thought and just kind of looking at each other shyly, Emily felt the need to move the night forward. She smirked in amusement before rolling her eyes and clearing her throat “Okay, so” She clapped her hands and motioned toward the living room area “Maybe take a few steps this way so you might actually stand a chance of getting out of the loft tonight.”

 

“Right” Santana said with a laugh and motioned for Rachel to go ahead. She watched her friend turn and she gently put her hand on her back as they moved toward the living room. Once they reached the open space between the living room and kitchen, Santana’s hand dropped from Rachel’s back and she offered a smile “So where’s the tequila?”

 

Rachel let out a soft laugh at that “It’s in the car. I figured we could start on the way to the club.”

 

“Oh we get the car tonight?” Santana mused with a smirk “How fancy.”

 

“Whatever” Rachel rolled her eyes and let out a laugh as she moved across to the fireplace now. She reached up to the display case and opened it slowly. She reached in and grabbed her trophy, pulling it out gingerly. Once she had it safely in her grasp, she let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding and glanced at Santana with a nod “Okay, are we ready to go?”

 

Santana saw the way Rachel was handling her award and a frown came to her lips. She let out a sigh and motioned to the award “Are you sure about this? What if something happens?”

 

“It’s fine” Rachel nodded, hugging the trophy to her chest. “I mean, I carried it around all night at the after party and nothing happened to it.”

 

“You were also at an award show where, if something had happened, someone could have fixed it like immediately. I mean, we are in New York City. We are going to a club. What if we get mugged or you lose it or something?”

 

Rachel frowned and looked at the trophy again. She hadn’t thought of it that way. She wondered if she could get it replaced if it ended up lost or stolen. Just the thought twisted her heart and a frown took over her face.

 

Santana nodded quickly when she saw this. She moved over to Rachel and grabbed hold of the trophy from her friend. “Look” She said softly as she took it from her grasp and put it back in it’s case. Once the case was shut and locked, she turned back and looked at Rachel “We don’t take it, okay? Let’s go stop by like a party store and get one of those fake plastic ones and use that. I know it’s not the same but it’s a sacrifice I am willing to make so Tony doesn’t die tonight.”

 

“Are you sure?” Rachel pouted a little and glanced at her trophy before looking back to Santana.

 

“Of course” Santana laughed softly and put her hand on Rachel’s back. “It’s smarter this way. Who knows how drunk we are going to get. I would hate myself forever if I lost your Tony. So we get a substitute. I doubt anyone at the club is going to know what a real Tony looks like anyway. They are going to be too drunk to care.”

 

Rachel nodded her head and let out a sigh of relief. As much as she had wanted Santana to rub her award in stranger’s faces at the Tony’s, the thought of her doing it outside the safety of an industry event scared the life out of her. “Good” Rachel finally mumbled with a smile and looked up at her friend “Thank you.”

 

Santana smiled and motioned with her hand toward the door “Shall we? The night is young. Let’s go get us an award, some tequila, and be as obnoxious as we can.”

 

Rachel let out a soft giggle and moved toward the door. The girls grabbed tiny clutch purses with their keys and phones inside before stepping out of the loft and heading toward the elevator. The excitement between them was palpable. Santana was right, the night was young and the possibilities it held were endless.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“Okay” Santana nodded as she held up the tiny plastic cup that had come in the car with the bottle of tequila. She looked at the liquid in the cup then lifted her eyes to meet Rachel’s with a grin “One more before we hit the club.” She lifted it in a bit of a cheers motion and smiled at her friend “To you, Berry. To you achieving all your dreams and to me getting to be obnoxiously proud of you for it tonight.”

 

Rachel let out a tiny giggle and nodded as their plastic cups touched together in a cheers. They both threw back the shots, grimaced at the taste, then found a place to set them down. They had already managed to drink half the bottle between the loft and the club, only stopping to get a fake trophy at a props store. By the time they had pulled up to the club they were both feeling a little warm and fuzzy.

 

Santana pushed the door open and got out. She steadied herself on the curb then reached a hand into the car to help Rachel out. Their hands slid together and as Rachel slowly emerged from the car, Santana felt her heart skip a beat. She looked even more beautiful than Santana remembered in the loft. The car had been dimly lit but now under the bright street lights it was like Santana was seeing her for the first time in that dress. When Rachel finally steadied herself on the curb and looked at her friend, Santana felt her throat go dry. She needed another drink quickly “You ready?”

 

Rachel nodded quickly and slid her fingers between Santana’s. She didn’t want to let her go just yet. She was nervous. This was the first time she had been out in public since her win, aside from going to and from the theater, and she wasn’t sure if she would be recognized. She had been in a few magazines, done a few interviews for small media outlets around the area, and even been put on a billboard in Times Square. Part of her wanted to be recognized and another part of her was terrified to be.

 

Santana smiled very gently at the way Rachel held her hand. She wasn’t going to question it. She just gave her friend’s hand a light squeeze and let her lead the way into the club. They were on the VIP list so they didn’t have to go through the same entrance as everyone else, which was pretty cool if you asked Santana. Once they were ushered inside and showed to their special private booth, they were left to their own devices. Santana motioned for Rachel to go ahead and take a seat on one of the plush booths and only then did Rachel’s hand slide out of Santana’s.

 

Rachel sat gingerly, careful not to let her dress slip too high. She grinned up at Santana and patted the spot next to her excitedly “Come on! Let’s get comfy, let’s get a drink! Do you want to dance?”

 

Santana was halfway between sitting and standing when the question was posed. She paused and let out a soft laugh, motioning over her shoulder toward the dance floor “Now? Or do you want to get the drink first?”

 

Rachel was a little surprised at the enthusiasm Santana showed at the mention of dancing and let out a soft laugh “Well I meant like in general, at one point tonight, are you going to want to dance?”

 

“Well that’s a silly question” Santana said with a laugh as she finally settled next to Rachel. “Of course I am going to want to dance. It’s like you don’t know me at all.” She smirked and gave her a little nudge with her elbow. She put down her clutch she had been carrying and lifted the tiny trophy they had gotten for the evening. She shifted to face Rachel better and waved it with a laugh “The question is do you think Tony is going to want to dance tonight?”

 

“Oh he better” Rachel said with a giggle “Because if he is hanging out with you all night I don’t think he is going to have a choice.”

 

Just then one of the cocktail waitresses came to take their drink orders. “Two shots of your finest tequila.” Santana gave Rachel a smile and as the girl ran off to fill the orders, Santana looked at the trophy. “Alright, Tony, are you ready to put on your boogie shoes? You are going to have a hard time keeping up with me.”

 

Rachel let out a delighted giggle at her friend. Sure this wasn’t the night they had originally planned for the Tony’s but it was still already an amazing night. Maybe it was because she had missed Santana so much. In fact, she was sure that was the reason. They could be sitting at home in their pajamas taking shots and Rachel would be happy. As long as she was with Santana, she was happy. She smiled at the thought. She wasn’t sure there had ever been a person in her life, on any level, that had ever made her happy just being around them like Santana did.

 

“What the Hell are you grinning at?” Santana asked, glancing over her shoulder with a laugh. When she didn’t see anything particularly funny behind her she looked back at Rachel and shook her head “Earth to Rachel!”

 

Rachel blinked and shook her head, bringing herself out of her thoughts. “Sorry” She blushed softly and just shrugged her shoulders “I was just thinking about how happy I am to have this night with you.”

 

Santana nodded and gave her friend a warm smile. The shots of tequila were delivered just then and Santana grabbed them with a nod of thanks. She handed one over to Rachel then lifted her own in Rachel’s direction “I’m happy, too.” They clinked their glasses together and Santana added with a smirk “Now let’s get obnoxious!” She threw back the shot then got to her feet. She offered her hand to Rachel and motioned toward the dance floor “Shall we?”

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

The night flew by in a blur of colors and music. Santana had lost count after their third shot of the night. All she could remember was laughing a lot at the confused looks on stranger’s faces when Santana waved the trophy in their faces then pointed to Rachel. She was sure most of them could care less but a few of them thought they might have known who Rachel was and in Santana’s drunken state that was good enough for her.

 

It was well into the early hours of the morning by the time they stumbled through the loft door. Rachel was clinging to Santana, laughing loudly as the two of them maneuvered through the door. Rachel immediately dropped her heels, which she had taken off in the car, then tossed her clutch near the kitchen table. “Did you see that kid in the drive-thru? He was so confused to why we were hanging out of the top of the car!”

 

Santana laughed so hard she snorted. She nodded happily as she propped herself against the kitchen table, using her free hand to unbuckle her heels “The way he squeaked in surprise when we popped outta the roof thing was hilarious! Then I showed him the trophy and convinced him you were Angelina Jolie and that was your Oscar!” She tossed her heel aside and grinned happily at Rachel.

 

“Oh my god” Rachel cackled and stumbled over toward the bathroom “He looked like he wanted to cry with joy when you said that.”

 

Santana tossed her second shoe aside then straightened herself up. She ran her hands over her dress and gave Rachel a dreamy grin “You shoulda taken a picture with him that would have been awesome.”

 

“And rude” Rachel pointed then laughed it off “But funny.” She moved into the bathroom and attempted to close the door but missed and decided to just leave it. It wasn’t like Santana hadn’t walked in on her peeing a hundred times before.

 

Santana didn’t even notice. She was standing in front of the fridge looking for a water bottle. When she didn’t find one a frown came to her lips and she slammed the door with a huff. She moved over to the cabinet to get a glass and filled it with water from the faucet. Without hesitation she lifted it to her lips and chugged the entire thing in one try.

 

Once Rachel was done in the bathroom she stumbled out and gave Santana a smile when she saw her drinking water. “Smart” She pointed at her friend and moved over to her friend. “Can I have some?”

 

Santana nodded and filled the empty cup under the faucet again. She held it out to Rachel once it was full and gave her a little smirk “I gotta tell you something?”

 

“Hmmm?” Rachel hummed curiously as she lifted the cup to her mouth and started to drink.

 

Santana opened her mouth and drew in a deep breath. She paused and when Rachel perked an eyebrow at her curiously, Santana smirked and let out a loud burp.

 

“Gross!” Rachel nearly spit out the water she had in her mouth at that moment. She managed to swallow it then swat at Santana with a laugh.

 

“Thank you” Santana nodded and took a playful bow. When she bent over in her bow she realized how drunk she was and all of the sudden lost her balance. She stumbled forward, which happened to be exactly where Rachel was standing. Santana’s head ended up jamming right into Rachel’s stomach which caused her to slam back into the cabinet behind her.

 

Rachel let out a groan of pain as she reached behind her to grab hold of the cabinet. She gripped tightly so the two of them didn’t end up falling over completely. She watched Santana manage to regain her balance and let out a soft laugh as one hand reached down and scooped under her shoulder to help pull her upright. “Are you alright there Boozy Von Drunkaton?”

 

“Heyyyy” Santana scowled playfully then laughed as she ran hands over herself in attempt to brush off the fact that she had almost just fallen over. Once she was steady on her own feet she grinned at Rachel and laughed “That’s a good one. I’m so funny.”

 

“I’m the one that said it” Rachel laughed, her hand moving to grip Santana’s forearm, afraid Santana might tip over at any moment.

 

“But you got it from me” Santana nodded with a huff. “I’m the comedic genius and you’re just a thief.” She smirked and reached out to tap Rachel right on the nose, making a little ‘boop’ sound as she did so.

 

“Whatever” Rachel rolled her eyes and finished her water. She set the cup aside then took in a deep breath and motioned toward their bedrooms “Can we please get out of these dresses and go to bed? I feel like I am going to pass out and sleeping in this material would be irresponsible. Do you know how easily it wrinkles?”

 

“The fact that you can talk this much after how much you had to drink astounds me” Santana said with a laugh but nodded and offered out her hand. “But, yes, let’s get the Hell outta these dresses. Mine started pinching me hours ago.”

 

Rachel took Santana’s hand and somehow the two of them managed to stumble into Rachel’s room without either of them falling. Santana fell face first onto Rachel’s bed and let out a groan. Rachel managed to find her closet and leaned against it with one hand while she reached around with the other to try and unzip herself. A silence fell over the room as the two of them just kind of succumbed to their drunkness.

 

After a few long, quiet minutes Rachel let out a grunt and her arm fell away from her back. She let out a sigh and slowly turned her head, which was now resting against her closet door, and looked for Santana. Her vision was blurred so she didn’t see her right away but after she rolled over on the bed, Rachel smiled and was happy to see she hadn’t left for her own room yet. “Hey, San?”

 

“Hmm?” Santana grunted and pulled one of Rachel’s pillows under her head.

 

“I need help.”

 

“I’ve been saying that for years” Santana mumbled and smirked at herself. She was so damn funny.

 

Rachel shook her head and closed her eyes. She would have rolled her eyes but that might have made her puke. “No I mean I need help with my dress. I can’t reach the zipper.”

 

Santana groaned and rolled over to look at Rachel. She opened one eye and studied her from across the room then lifted a hand and lazily waved her over “I can’t really stand right now you are going to have to come to me.”

 

Rachel opened her eyes again and stared at blurry Santana. She wasn’t sure she would make it. Part of her considered giving up and just sleeping propped up against the wall. But the bigger part of her knew she couldn’t do that so she finally pushed away from her closet and took a few wobbly steps toward the bed. She wasn’t sure how but she managed to make it without falling over or knocking into anything. She let out a sigh of relief when she was safely sitting on the edge of the bed next to Santana “Okay.”

 

Santana had almost drifted off to sleep. When Rachel spoke, her eyes shot open and she remembered she was supposed to be helping. She grunted as her hand lifted and she blindly patted at Rachel’s back in attempt to find the zipper. After a few failed attempts, she frowned and propped herself up on one elbow to try and bring her blurry eyes more level with the zipper. “Where the Hell?”

 

“Stop!” Rachel squeaked and let out a laugh. Santana’s absent patting had caused her fingers to land against her neck and her side, both very ticklish places. She wiggled and reached behind her to catch Santana’s fumbling fingers “You are horrible at undressing a girl! How do you get laid?”

 

“Bite me” Santana snarled and pulled her hand away. She blinked a few times and finally her eyes focused. She found the zipper and smiled proudly at that. “How do I get laid?” She mumbled with a huff before laughing as she pulled at the zipper “That was actually really good.”

 

“See? I can be funny too” Rachel grinned at herself for that remark. She waited patiently for Santana to finish with her zipper. When the cool air of the loft hit her hot skin, a shiver ripped through her body and goosebumps rose on her flesh.

 

Santana smirked at the little shiver. She saw the goosebumps on her friend’s skin and gently let her fingers glide over a small patch of skin without even thinking about it.

 

Santana’s touch sent another shiver up her spine. Tingles shot out from the point of contact all the way through her body and to her toes. She swallowed hard and closed her eyes slowly “What are you doing?”

 

“You cold?” Santana asked with a smile as her hand dropped away and she laid back against the bed again. “You got goosebumps everywhere.”

 

Rachel let out a breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding when she realized Santana wasn’t making a move on her. “Yeah” She mumbled and nodded at the question. “Little cold” she whispered then stood from the bed. She let the material of the dress slide off her shoulders then paused. She had nothing on underneath and was suddenly shy about Santana seeing any amount of skin. But when she glanced over her shoulder and saw Santana sprawled out, eyes closed, she smiled in relief and continued removing the dress in favor of some pajamas.

 

It had been quiet in the room for a few minutes as Rachel changed. Santana suddenly opened her eyes, having passed out for a moment, and turned her head to look at her friend. She gave her a smile and patted the mattress next to herself “Then come snuggle. It will warm you right up.”

 

“What?” Rachel perked an eyebrow as she finished hanging her dress in the closet.

 

“You said you were cold” Santana mumbled and her eyes closed again.

 

Rachel let out a soft laugh and gave a little nod at that “Oh yeah.”

 

Santana patted the bed again lazily then let out a heavy sigh. Her entire body was relaxed and all she wanted to do was sleep. Rachel moved toward her friend on her bed and watched her lying there for a few moments before a soft smile came to her lips. She shook her head in amusement before reaching down to shake Santana’s leg “San? You going to change out of your dress?”

 

Santana shook her head. She frowned when Rachel shook her again and slowly opened her eyes. She saw her friend looking at her and smiled before sitting up and giving her a nod “Okay.” She slid to the end of the bed, managed to somehow hold herself up, and looked at Rachel with a grin “Just unzip me?”

 

Rachel nodded and drew in a deep breath as she reached for the zipper. She pulled it down slowly and as each inch of skin was exposed she felt her heart starting to race faster. She wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol in that moment or the feelings she hadn’t realized she had until recently but she was more nervous than she should have been. She cleared her throat and licked her lips before pulling her hand away once the zipper was down “Okay, you’re good to go.”

 

Santana shot up to her feet, dropped her hands to allow for the material to drop off her shoulders and down her arms, and gave her hips a wiggle. Without warning the dress fell off Santana completely and into a pool of material at her feet. She kicked it away, which caused her to fall off balance, and land on her back on the bed.

 

Rachel’s eyes went so wide it was a miracle they didn’t fall out of her head. Santana had not worn a bra that night under her dress, not that she could have if she wanted to. So now she was just laying there on her back in the tiniest piece of material acting as panties that Rachel had ever seen in her life. She went bright red and quickly looked away from her friend “Um, hey, do you want a shirt?”

 

Santana groaned and shifted on the bed. She grabbed a pillow again and pulled it under her head. She let out a happy sigh and smiled before settling against the mattress. When Rachel realized her friend had passed out again, she frowned. Now what? She chewed her bottom lip and debated whether or not to sleep in the other room while trying not to stare at Santana’s bare chest. 

 

After a moment she shook her head and started to get off the bed. She would just crash in Santana’s bed. But as soon as she got to her feet, Santana whined and reached for her “Berry, don’t leave me.”

 

Rachel let out a sigh and sat back on the edge of the bed. “San, I’m going to get you a shirt.”

 

Santana shook her head against the pillow and reached out again for Rachel. She fumbled around until finally finding her arm and gripping it lightly. She pulled a few times before mumbling “Don’t leave.”

 

Rachel sighed again but didn’t make a move to leave. Instead she shifted so she could lay next to Santana. She positioned herself so her back was towards Santana’s chest just in case she woke up in the middle of the night. She didn’t want to get a free peep show, after all. That seemed to appease Santana because her grip on Rachel’s arm loosened until finally falling away. The two girls settled into a silence as they laid together on the bed, Rachel fighting drifting off in hopes that Santana would pass out and she could get up and sleep in the other room.

 

That hope went out the window when Santana’s arm suddenly slid around Rachel’s waist. She gave a firm tug and brought Rachel’s back tightly against her chest. She let out a happy sigh and faded back into sleep. Rachel, for some reason, didn’t fight it. Though she was hyper aware of the fact that Santana’s bare chest was against her back, she didn’t fight to move away. Truth was, the warmth of alcohol and the feel of Santana’s arm around her was the perfect mix of soothing and comfortable and before she knew it, Rachel was drifting off into a perfect night of sleep.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	11. Rumors and respect

Santana’s eyes shot open. She blinked a few times to focus on her surroundings and was immediately aware of the fact that she wasn’t in her own bed. Panic set in as to where she was and she sat up to look around. That was when a few cold hard fact hit her like a ton of bricks.

 

Fact number one was, she had no clothes on. The cool air of the loft hit her chest as soon as the sheet fell away. She worked quickly to gather the material back over herself as the second fact set in now. She was in Rachel’s room.

 

The second fact made her panic a lot more than the first. Her eyes went wide and she quickly looked around the room for clues as to why the Hell she was naked in Rachel’s room. The first thing she saw was her dress on the floor. Well, obviously. If she wasn’t wearing the dress, it was somewhere else. 

 

The next thing she saw was Rachel curled up in bed next to her. This made her panic most of all. Rachel was only wearing a long tshirt and hopefully some underwear. Santana stared at her sleeping friend as she dug deep into her brain to try and piece together the events of the night before. The last thing she could remember was stumbling out of the club. Everything after that point was a blur. She vaguely remembered getting home. There was a whisp of a memory of crawling into Rachel’s bed. There was a flash of unzipping Rachel’s dress. Then there was a quick clip of her fingers running over Rachel’s skin.

 

Santana felt sick. She felt like she might throw up and pass out all at once. Did her and Rachel...? No! They couldn’t have. She would remember. She would be pissed if they did and she didn’t remember. No, they couldn’t have. It would be just plain bad if they did. 

 

She shook the thought of them doing the horizontal tango out of her head and lifted the sheet. She looked down over herself carefully before moving a hand over her stomach. She didn’t feel like she had done anything. It might be weird but she could always tell. It was just a feeling she had the next morning. Then again, she usually remembered if she had done the naked mamba with someone the night before. 

 

She let out a sigh and put a hand between her legs. She cupped at herself and nodded her head. She definitely didn’t feel like that part of her had done anything the night before. She dropped the sheet and looked back over to Rachel who was still somehow sound asleep. She looked so peaceful and that made Santana smile. At least she wasn’t panicking about what they had done the night before. Santana shook her head and slowly slipped out of bed. Maybe she could sneak away and Rachel would never know that they had slept in the same bed, both of them some degree of naked.

 

Santana went over to Rachel’s full length mirror and started to inspect herself. She grimaced a little bit at the way she looked. Her hair was sticking up in all different directions and her make up from the night before was smeared around her eyes and down her cheeks. She looked like a stripper waking up from a Coke binge.

 

She gathered her hair off her shoulders and lifted it to the side. She turned back and forth as she inspected her neck. There didn’t seem to be any bite marks or suck marks. She knew for a fact Rachel Berry left marks so this was a good sign. She dropped her hair and turned around as much as she could to look at her back and still see herself in the mirror. No scratch marks. Good. She nodded and turned back around to fully face the mirror. She eyed herself up and down and smirked a little bit. How did Rachel sleep next to this body all night and not at least let her hands wonder? That girl had nerves of steel.

 

Rachel shifted on the bed and brought Santana out of her thoughts. She quickly whipped around and froze like a deer in the headlights. Her heart was thundering and she felt her throat close. She hadn’t had time to escape yet! So now she was trying to concoct a lie to tell Rachel when she woke up.

 

Luckily that didn’t happen. Rachel had just been rolling over and settled back to sleep now. Santana let out the biggest sigh of relief in the history of the world and relaxed where she stood. Good, she still had time. So she quickly searched the floor for something to pull over herself so she could make a halfway decent escape from the scene of the crime that may or may not have happened.

 

After finding one of Puck’s old shirts and pulling it over her head, she tip toed across the floor and out of the room. She let out a heavy sigh and smiled at herself before moving toward the kitchen. Now Rachel wouldn’t have to wake up next to her naked and they could avoid the whole awkward situation. Santana was good at pretending something hadn’t happened, but Rachel wasn’t. It was just better this way. She could pretend not to have woken up naked next to Rachel for the rest of her life just to avoid the ‘what actually happened’ conversation.

 

Santana made her way to the kitchen to make some coffee. Her head was pounding and she was sure it was from a mix of all the alcohol from the night before and the way her brain was whirling in confusion. Coffee, she knew, would start to help soothe the ache at least.

 

She was just a step into the kitchen area when her eyes lifted and landed on a partially open loft door and two people standing in the opening. She heard a soft giggle that she recognized as Emily’s but that was all she could recognize. The two of them were tangled in a gross display of affection and it was hard to tell where Emily ended and Paige began.

 

Santana’s lip curled in disgust and she felt like she might be sick. She shook her head and adverted her eyes toward the coffee machine. She cleared her throat extra loudly as she started to fiddle with making a pot.

 

Paige pulled back from the kiss when she heard Santana clear her throat. She bit at her lip and let out a soft laugh as she looked down at her feet “We have an audience.”

 

Emily licked at her lips and turned her head to look into the loft. When she saw Santana standing there at the coffee pot, she blushed very lightly and reached out to take Paige’s hand in her own. “Good morning, San.”

 

Santana just waved a hand behind her then put the filter into the machine and started it up.

 

“How was your night?” Emily continued, her hand sliding up Paige’s jacket to her waist. She gave a tug until Paige’s hips came to rest against hers and she could slide her arms around her completely.

 

“Fine” Santana said with a shrug and finally turned around, figuring it was safe. But as soon as her eyes landed on Emily wrapped around Paige, she rolled her eyes and shook her head “And how was your night?”

 

Emily bit her lip and looked back up to Paige. She let out a soft laugh and lifted her hand to push some of Paige’s hair behind her ear “It was nice. We just hung out, had a nice dinner, watched some movies, and crashed.”

 

Santana nodded slowly, her eyes flickering over the pair that was completely engrossed with each other. She silently gagged and turned around to get a mug for her coffee. She poured herself some and after mixing in a bit of sugar, took a long drink. Ah, yes. The warmth spread through her body and she felt completely at peace.

 

“Were you out late?” Emily asked softly before finally slipping away from Paige and moving into the loft fully. She went over to get herself a cup of coffee too, turning around to look at Paige and silently ask if she wanted any.

 

Paige gave a little nod of thanks then slid into a chair at the table.

 

Santana just shook her head and took another sip from her mug “I don’t even really know to be honest. The last thing I remember was leaving the club and I have no idea what time that was.”

 

“Wow. It sounds like you two had a great night” Emily said with a smile. She set Paige’s coffee in front of her then lifted her own mug to her lips as she pushed her hair off her shoulders. 

 

Santana’s eyes went wide when Emily’s hair shifted away from her neck. Staring back at her was a deep, dark, unmistakable sign of exactly how much fun Emily and Paige had had the night before. “Oh my god” She pointed at her cousin with a mix of shock and disgust on her face.

 

“What?” Emily asked shyly, dipping her head which caused her hair to fall back over the mark.

 

“Don’t what me! What the Hell is this?” Santana moved to her cousin now and brushed the hair off her neck to show the mark again. She grabbed her shoulder, leaned in closer to inspect it, then nudged Emily away and looked over at Paige with a fire in her eyes. “You did this.”

 

Paige’s eyes went wide. She stood up from the kitchen table quickly and shook her head in a panic “Okay now before you freak out I already apologized to her. I got a little over zealous and I promise never to do it again. I never do this. It just kind of happened.”

 

“Get out” Santana growled and pointed at the door.

 

“San, come on” Emily put a hand on her cousin’s shoulder and shook her head. “She said she was sorry. Besides, I wasn’t complaining.”

 

Santana pushed Emily’s hand off her shoulder, her eyes still glaring a hole through Paige’s face “This is a gross display of disrespect and I will not tolerate this in my house.”

 

“Santana!” Emily pushed between her cousin and Paige now and grabbed onto her shoulders. She glared back just as fiercely as Santana was and shook her head “Stop it. I am not twelve anymore. I am an adult and I was completely of sound mind when it happened. She didn’t violate me. We weren’t even naked. We just got a little heated and I didn’t stop it because I didn’t want to so, really, this is my fault. Besides, it will fade in like a day.”

 

“It’s completely distasteful. You look trashy.” Santana motioned toward the mark again with a growl.

 

“Hey” Paige stepped up behind Emily. She set her brow in a glare at Santana and shook her head “It was an accident. She isn’t trashy just because she made out with someone who she has been seeing steadily for a few weeks. We’re in a relationship and what we do in our relationship is between she and I and you have no say in it.”

 

Santana’s brows lifted at the word. She tilted her head to the side slightly, folded her arms across her chest, and set her feet. No one spoke to Santana Lopez this way and got away with it. No one. She didn’t care how much Emily liked her. This was her house and no one got to disrespect her in her house.

 

Santana was about to unleash a stream of insults and obscenities when she was interrupted from behind. “What’s going on, here?”

 

Rachel had woken up and stumbled half asleep out of her room and to the kitchen. She had been lead by the smell of coffee but when she noticed she had walked into an obviously tense situation she was jolted completely awake. She looked between Santana who had her chest puffed and Paige who was scowling at Santana. She folded her arms and, looking much like Santana, perked a challenging eyebrow at the group “Well is someone going to explain what’s going on?”

 

Paige backed down immediately. She looked down, letting out a guilty sigh, before shaking her head “I’m sorry, Rach. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

 

“You didn’t” Rachel waved her off then set her sights on Santana. “This loud mouth here, did. So are you going to explain to me why you were hollering this early in the morning?”

 

Santana felt her gut twist in guilt. Her stance softened and she turned slowly to look at her roommate. As soon as she saw the frustrated look on Rachel’s face, her own face fell into that much akin to a child who had been scolded “I’m sorry. Paige gave Emily a hickey and I guess I didn’t like it.”

 

Rachel arched an eyebrow and looked at Emily now. She eyed her for a moment then let out a soft laugh “Are you serious? Santana, I’ve seen the girls you bring home leaving in the morning. There are marks all over their necks.”

 

Santana gasped in a mix of shock and betrayal. She put a hand to her heart and shook her head with a scowl “How dare you compare this to those girls.”

 

“It’s exactly the same thing!” Rachel motioned to Emily with an angry huff. “Just because you can’t even remember those girls’ names doesn’t make it any better. In fact, it makes it worse. You probably did it on purpose because you didn’t have to see the shame they had to live with when their loved ones saw it. At least in this case these two know more about each other than their first names and the fact that they look good in tight jeans!”

 

Santana’s mouth opened to say something then shut quickly. She realized she had nothing to say to that. Leave it to Rachel in her hungover state to put Santana in her place. She rolled her eyes and looked over at Paige with an apologetic frown “Sorry” she mumbled and looked down at her feet.

 

Paige shrugged and glanced to Emily with a smile “It’s alright. You’re protective, I get that. I wish I had someone who cared that much about me, too.”

 

Emily moved over to Santana and slid her arms around her in a tight hug. “I’m sorry, San. I know if I were at home and came home like this my mom might actually have a heart attack and die. She would be so disappointed. But it was an accident and we’ve already talked about it. We are going to make sure not to let it get too heated again.”

 

Santana nodded and returned the hug quickly before stepping back. She ran a hand back through her tangled, hairspray knotted hair and sighed “I had a long night and I’m so hungover my headache has a headache. I guess I just snapped.”

 

“Speaking of” Emily said with a smirk as she stepped back from her cousin and motioned the length of her being “This is quite the look you have going on here. Very walk of shame meets coke binge hooker.”

 

“It’s coke binge stripper, thank you very much” Santana rolled her eyes and reached for her coffee again. “And no walk of shame involved. I didn’t have to leave the house so walk of shame does not apply.”

 

Emily perked an eyebrow at that and glanced at Paige. The two girls shared a curious look before Emily looked back at her cousin. Then she looked at Rachel who was so consumed by her coffee she had checked out of the conversation. Emily looked between the two girls and their matching disheveled appearances and the fact that they were both in just tshirts and a smirk came over her lips. “You didn’t have to leave the house because the person you slept with lives here?”

 

“Yes” Santana mumbled into her coffee before taking a sip. She had it half swallowed by the time she realized what she had said and quickly shook her head. She choked on the coffee and started to spit and sputter as she tried to clear her airway to defend what she had said.

 

Rachel, having heard that, looked up from her coffee with wide eyes. She saw the look of panic that the coughing Santana held and the look of curiosity on Emily’s face and quickly chimed in “No she didn’t mean that. She meant there was nothing to walk of shame away from this morning.”

 

Santana nodded and pointed at Rachel. She was still coughing but the look on her face showed that what Rachel had said was exactly what she had meant.

 

Emily let out a soft laugh and rolled her eyes “I was teasing. It’s so fun to pick on you two sometimes.” She turned and took Paige’s hand, motioning to the door “You’d better get to practice.”

 

“Are you okay?” Rachel asked softly, moving to Santana now and patting her on the back. “Take a breath, alright?”

 

Paige smiled at Emily softly as she reached the door “I did have a good time last night.” She reached out to brush enough hair off Emily’s neck to expose the mark she had left there. She frowned and slid her finger across it “I really am sorry.”

 

“It’s fine” Emily assured her with a smile. She leaned up and kissed ever so lightly at her lips before patting softly at her chest “Now go to practice before I change my mind and make you miss it in favor of staying with me all day.”

 

Paige glanced behind Emily to where Rachel had Santana sitting at the kitchen table, coaching her through some breathing techniques. She let out a laugh and focused back on Emily “Make sure those two get plenty of water and a nice breakfast, okay?”

 

“Of course” Emily laughed softly and after another quick kiss from Paige, stepped back from the girl. She watched Paige slip through the loft door, pausing to give her a wave, before making her way down the hallway to the elevator. She let out a happy sigh once the girl was gone and pushed the door closed before turning back into the loft. She shook her head in amusement at Santana pushing away a worried looking Rachel.

 

“I’m fine” Santana croaked, rubbing at her throat gently. “Shit that coffee was hot.”

 

Rachel rolled her eyes and moved to the sink to rinse her cup. She looked at her friend and shook her head “Speaking of last night-”

 

Santana hissed quickly at Rachel to stop her from continuing. She glanced out of the side of her eyes toward where Emily stood and gave her head a shake in silent pleading for her not to say another word.

 

Emily smirked and arched an eyebrow curiously. When she noticed the two of them exchanging silence glances in attempt to communicate, she let out a soft laugh “Don’t mind me. You know my lips are sealed.”

 

“Shut up” Santana growled. “Nothing happened.”

 

“Mhm” Emily laughed and moved over to the couch now. 

 

Santana rolled her eyes and shook her head. She finished up her coffee, carefully so as not to burn herself again, and glanced at Rachel. When she saw her roommate staring at her, she shrugged and set down her mug before whispering “Nothing happened, right?”

 

Rachel rolled her eyes and laughed very softly “God, no. What would have happened?”

 

Santana shrugged her shoulders. She could think of a few things that could have happened. In fact she remembered what had happened the last time they had drank together. But she didn’t want to bring that up again. So she just waved her hand to the side “Nothing. I just wanted to make sure because-”

 

“You woke up naked in bed with me?” Rachel folded her arms and perked an eyebrow in question.

 

Santana looked over her shoulder quickly to Emily who, of course, had heard what Rachel had said and was looking at the two of them completely enthralled in what was unfolding. She let out a frustrated sigh and looked back at Rachel “I was trying to avoid prying ears from hearing, but yes. Because of that.”

 

“Oh come on” Rachel motioned to Emily with a roll of her eyes before turning to open the fridge “Nothing happened so there is nothing to hide from her. Yes, you were naked in my bed this morning but only because no matter how hard I tried last night you refused to get dressed after taking off your dress.”

 

Santana thought about it for a moment before a flash of her standing and watching her dress slip from her body came to her. She smiled in relief as she finally remembered “Oh thank god.”

 

Rachel pulled out some bread, egg substitute, and almond milk. “We decided to get changed so we wouldn’t wrinkle our dresses. By the time I had mine put away and a tshirt on, you were passed out. I managed to wake you up long enough to convince you to take yours off but that was about it.” She set the stuff on the counter and motioned to it “I’m going to make an omelette do you want one?”

 

Santana nodded but didn’t interrupt.

 

“I wouldn’t have stayed in my own bed with you practically naked next to me, but you insisted” Rachel continued without even pausing. “I was actually in the middle of leaving when you begged me to stay.”

 

“You were cold” Santana said quickly as the memory flooded back. “You had goosebumps.”

 

Rachel paused at Santana’s words. She remembered the goosebumps. She bit her lip and was glad her eyes were on the task at hand because she was sure it showed in her face that the reason for the goosebumps had not been the temperature of the room. She swallowed hard in her throat and gave a little nod “Right. I was cold and you insisted I snuggle to get warm. I want to point out that I protested, though.”

 

“Obviously not too hard” Santana said with a laugh. She smiled at the fact that Rachel didn’t leave. It had to have meant somewhere deep down she had liked the idea of snuggling with her.

 

Rachel rolled her eyes but smiled slightly. She stayed quiet for a few moments while she continued to prep some breakfast. She had nothing more to say, really. If she had really wanted to, she could have left, but she didn’t. She had liked the idea of snuggling with Santana all night, even if she would never admit it to anyone ever.

 

The silence was broken by the sound of a phone ringing. Santana, who has been drinking her second cup of coffee looked up from her mug and around the loft. It was definitely Rachel’s ringtone and it was coming from somewhere nearby. She set down her cup and started shifting the magazines and newspapers on the table around “Where the Hell is that coming from?”

 

Emily had gotten up off the couch and was looking too. She shuffled a few shoes on the floor around then paused in her actions and turned around “I can’t find it.”

 

“Here we are” Rachel, who had push the food aside in favor of finding her phone, smiled as she held up her clutch from the night before. She had tossed it near the door when she had come in but it had fallen between the stand where their keys were and the wall. She unzipped the clutch and quickly answered right before the call went to voicemail, “Hello?”

 

Santana rolled her eyes and smiled a little bit. She hadn’t noticed until just then just what a mess they had made with their heels the night before. There was a trail of discarded shoes and clutches from the door to the table. She would have to pick them up. After this cup of coffee, though.

 

“Wait, what?” Rachel’s eyes went wide and she looked up at Santana at the table. Her face was full of complete horror.

 

Santana blinked. She felt her heart drop into her stomach. She set the mug down and stood up quickly as she watched her friend start to panic about something. 

 

“What are they saying?” Rachel bit her bottom lip, her eyes shifting from Santana to her feet with a shake of her head. 

 

Santana’s brows creased in concern. She did not like the look of whatever was happening. Rachel looked distraught. She shrugged when Rachel glanced back up at her, mouthing the words ‘what is it?’

 

Rachel just nodded against the phone. “Thank you. No, don’t say anything yet. Let me think it over and I will get back to you.”

 

Emily had made her way over to the girls and her face was twisted in concern as well. She stood next to Santana, her arms folded, her gaze curious as Rachel hung up the phone. “What’s the matter, Rachel?”

 

“That was my publicist” Rachel said softly, her eyes on her phone. She blinked a few times, letting the conversation sink in before finally looking up at the two girls in front of her. “Apparently there is a sleazy blog running a story about me and a mystery girl who I was looking all too cozy with last night.”

 

Santana felt her heart drop again. She bit at her bottom lip and glanced at her cousin before looking back to Rachel with a shake of her head “It can’t be that bad, can it? I mean, which blog? Let’s pull it up and read it.”

 

“Way ahead of you” Emily, who had her phone already in her hands, pointed at her screen. She was quiet a few moments before putting a hand to her mouth and shaking her head.

 

“What is it!?” Santana’s eyes went wide again. She couldn’t imagine it was that bad but apparently it was. She moved to her cousin’s side and grabbed the phone from her. She read it to herself before rolling her eyes and looking up at Rachel with a laugh “It’s not that bad.”

 

“Really?” Rachel looked slightly relieved at that. “Well what does it say?”

 

“Broadway’s newest starlet was spotted at one of the hottest clubs in the city last night and she wasn’t alone. Rachel Berry, dressed like she was at the Tony’s all over again, and her mystery guest arrived in style. After sneaking in the back and heading straight to a private booth, the girls spent the night attached at the hip. Sources say they took numerous shots of tequila between trips to the dance floor where they looked all too comfortable bumping and grinding on one another. When they weren’t gyrating on each other they were seen canoodling in the booth. Many witnesses recall seeing Berry planted on her gal pal’s lap with her arms around her neck, leaned in close to her. Though no one can confirm if there was a smooch involved due to limited visibility, many onlookers say it wouldn’t have surprised them with the way the girls acted around each other. The girls eventually were seen leaving together, hand in hand, just after three in the morning. Speculation as to who this mystery girl has started to fly with many people guessing it is her roommate and inspiration for her moving speech at the Tonys.” Santana looked up as she finished and shrugged her shoulders “Where are the lies?”

 

“We didn’t kiss!” Rachel huffed and stormed over to grab the phone from Santana’s hand. She looked at the screen and re-read what Santana had just relayed to her. She shook her head and huffed in frustration “Canoodling? What does that even mean!? The club was loud, we had to lean in close to talk or we couldn’t hear each other!”

 

Santana rolled her eyes and took the phone away from Rachel, handing it back over to Emily “It’s a sleazy site, Rachel. If they wrote it to make us look like the close friends we are, no one would care. They have to spin it like this. Just ignore it.”

 

“Ignore it? This could hurt my career!” Rachel turned and stormed back over to where she had been making breakfast but she didn’t continue what she had been doing.

 

“Rachel” Santana laughed softly “Half of Broadway is made up of gays. If anything, this can only help. Besides, I doubt anyone even cares. Just ignore it, okay?” She moved over to her friend and rubbed her back lightly.

 

“Yeah” Emily said with a smile as she put her phone away “This is so not the worst thing that could have happened. Besides, it’s not true.” She shrugged and moved to the fridge to grab a water bottle. 

 

Santana nodded her head and looked at her cousin with a grateful smile. It really wasn’t that awful. It’s not like a gay rumor was as detrimental as it used to be. But she was grateful that Emily was trying to help calm Rachel down anyway. She looked back at her friend and moved in front of her so she could find her face. She lifted her chin and when their eyes met, she smiled “You could do worse, you know? At least I’m a hot mystery lady.”

 

Rachel rolled her eyes but let out a soft laugh. She shook her head and let out a sigh “I guess.” She looked away from Santana and to the food she had pulled out and frowned “I’m suddenly not hungry.”

 

“Hey” Santana smiled and patted Rachel’s arm lightly “How about you go take a shower and wash the shame of a gay rumor off while I make you something to eat?”

 

Rachel nodded a little and glanced behind her toward the bathroom “A shower does sound nice.”

 

“There you go” Santana nudged her toward the bathroom and stepped up to the counter in front of the food Rachel had started to prep. “When you get out, you can eat and take a nap. You know, restart your day. I am sure by the time you hit the theater tonight no one will even remember about your night of gay debauchery.”

 

“Do you have to keep making gay jokes?” Rachel huffed.

 

Santana smirked “I apologize. No more jokes. I couldn’t help myself, I was just having a gay old time!”

 

“Santana!” Rachel wailed out but laughed slightly. She watched her friend smirk in amusement before she turned and headed to the bathroom “There are peppers in the fridge if you want to add them to the eggs.”

 

“Aye aye, captain” Santana gave her a playful salute as Rachel disappeared into the bathroom. She snickered to herself and glanced at Emily with a smirk still on her face “I couldn’t help myself.”

 

“You are enjoying this way too much” Emily laughed and sat down at the table. “Just be careful, okay? I know you two didn’t do anything last night but she is being watched now. So, just use some tact.”

 

Santana shook her head and moved to the fridge to pull out the peppers “I’m not going to kiss her again, if that’s what you mean.”

 

Emily perked an eyebrow at Santana’s words. Sure, Rachel had told Emily about the kiss, but Santana hadn’t. She had avoided it up until now where she so calmly just blurted it out. She wasn’t sure Santana had even realized it. So she pretended to act surprised “What? You kissed her?”

 

“Oh stop” Santana laughed as she chopped through the peppers “I know Rachel told you. How else do you explain you two being all buddy-buddy all of the sudden? She came to you all freaked out and asked your opinion. I’m not dumb. She is being strangely cavalier about it all without any real resolution between us so, you know, thanks for that.”

 

“Thanks?” Emily perked an eyebrow again. “What did I do?”

 

“I don’t know” Santana shrugged and glanced at her cousin “But whatever you said or did made it possible for us to keep being friends despite my drunken mistake and that means a lot to me. So thanks.”

 

“Sure” Emily smiled softly. She honestly hadn’t done anything but told Rachel to take her time in figuring it out. She had been there to listen. Any friendship they still had was because it was more important to Rachel than any confusion the kiss brought up. But she wouldn’t tell Santana that. That was for Rachel to tell her. So she just nodded and gave her cousin a smile. “Need any help there?”

 

Santana shook her head and started to heat up her pan. “I got it. You wanna make some toast?”

 

“Sure” Emily moved over to the cabinet and grabbed out the toaster. The two cousins moved in silence now as they prepared the meal for Rachel. Emily couldn’t stop smiling. As awful as this entire thing could have been, it hadn’t been bad at all. She was glad she could have helped, even if only a little bit. Maybe she had been right when she told Rachel that everything would be alright. It had been okay so far, after all.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

A week later and nothing had really been made of the sleazy blog’s story about Rachel and Santana out at the club together. For the most part it seemed the blog didn’t have enough followers to really make an impact. Which was a relief to Rachel, if she was being honest. She wasn’t sure how she would have answered any questions about it. No, she and Santana were not hooking up or canoodling. But how would she hide the fact that she did indeed wish that was the case? She wasn’t sure she could lie her way through that. Thankfully she hadn’t had to.

 

“Hey, what are you doing today?” Santana asked casually as she scooped some eggs onto Rachel’s plate that morning.

 

Rachel eyed the eggs, hoping they were the egg substitute, and gave a little shrug “I have a photoshoot and interview with that up and coming magazine. Other than that, the show tonight. Why?”

 

Santana frowned a little bit and sat down with her own plate of food. She poked at her eggs and glanced at Rachel “Damn. I was hoping we could have a day together before you went to the theater since I’m off today. But maybe next time.”

 

“No, hey, we can hang out” Rachel reached across and touched her hand lightly. “Maybe you can come to the shoot? See how it all works? I mean I’m sure you will be in the thick of all this crazy publicity soon enough when your movie comes out!”

 

Santana let out a huff of a laugh and shook her head as she poked at her eggs “It’s an indy, Rach. We will be happy if it shows at Sundance.”

 

“Oh, are they going to submit it?” Rachel smiled before taking a bite.

 

“Yeah. They said they are going to try and make the deadline.” Santana shrugged and took a bite before talking around it “That would be cool.”

 

“Definitely” Rachel’s lip curled in disgust at seeing Santana’s food flying out of her mouth as she spoke with her mouth full.

 

Santana nodded and swallowed her bite. She licked over her lips and reached for her coffee “I heard it’s cold though.”

 

“Worth it if your film gets seen by a huge production company that wants to pick it up” Rachel said with a shrug. She was quiet as she thought it over and after a moment she looked back to Santana “Hey, really, you should come to the shoot. We could hang out between touch ups and before the interview.”

 

Santana shrugged a little as poked at her eggs. After she gathered a bite and lifted it to her mouth, she paused and gave her a smile “Sure. I have nothing else to do.”

 

“Yay!” Rachel squeaked with joy before focusing on her food now. They had to be there in an hour so she needed to hurry and finish so she could brush her teeth. Heaven forbid she give an interview with bad breath.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Santana finished chewing the provided craft services sandwich as Rachel hopped off the little stage and bounced over to her. “What do you think? Did I look professional?”

 

Laughing, Santana nodded and wiped at her lips “You looked incredible. Like you’ve been doing it all your life.” She stood up from her chair and offered Rachel the bottle of water that she had been sipping out of “So what’s next?”

 

“Thank you” Rachel said with a smile before taking a sip. She let the water cool herself before she let out a sigh and handed it back to her friend. “I have to do the interview next. They said it shouldn’t take too long. A few questions about the show, about my roots, and then we are done. Can you stick around for that?”

 

Santana pretended to check her watch, even though she wasn’t wearing one, then looked at Rachel with a smirk “Yeah I guess. You know my time is really tight today, but I will stay.”

 

“Oh whatever” Rachel rolled her eyes with a laugh. Just then her publicist called her name and motioned for her to come over. She gave a little smile then looked at Santana with a nod “Come on! You can make sure I don’t make a fool of myself with my answers.”

 

Santana let out a soft laugh and shook her head “No way. I am not going to cut you off if you make an ass out of yourself. I want that going to print for the world to see.”

 

“Gee thanks” Rachel rolled her eyes and smirked before heading over to her publicist. They were led to a side room where the reporter for the magazine was set up with recording device and a notepad to take notes with. The two of them shook hands and Rachel took a seat. When the reporter noticed Santana lingering behind her, she perked an eyebrow but motioned for Santana to take the extra seat in the room.

 

“So” The reporter said with a smile as she sat down as well “I have got to admit I have been looking forward to this interview for a week.” She leaned forward and clicked on her recorder then sat back in her seat “So tell me how you are handling success so far.”

 

Rachel smiled and, just like a professional, started to answer like she was born to do so. It was question after question about where Rachel had grown up, how she had gotten started in the business, her dream role, and her Tony speech. Apparently the speech had been the real clincher and everyone was enthralled by it.

 

“Speaking of the speech” The reporter said with a glance to Santana before looking back to Rachel “Do you want to go into more detail about who exactly you thanked?”

 

Rachel, a bit confused by the question, glanced at Santana then laughed softly “I thought it was pretty clear cut. My fathers, my teacher who taught glee club, my actual glee club, and my best friend.” She motioned to Santana at the last part and shrugged “The people who have impacted me the most through the years.”

 

The reporter nodded and made a note. After a quick scribble she nodded and looked back to Rachel. She glanced at Santana then pushed a little more “So this is the infamous Santana?”

 

Santana perked an eyebrow at the way the girl was prodding now. She folded her arms, crossed her legs, and kicked back in her chair a bit more. She didn’t say anything but stared at the girl as if daring her to keep asking questions.

 

Rachel glanced at Santana as well before nodding and looking back at the reporter “Yes, this is my roommate and best friend, Santana Lopez. She and I have-”

 

“And is she the same girl that you were photographed with the other night?” The reporter cut Rachel off and smiled politely as if she hadn’t interrupted at all.

 

Rachel’s brow creased and she nodded slightly. She glanced at Santana and gave a little shrug. Before Rachel could answer, though, Santana chimed in “I don’t see why that matters. Yes, it was me. And just to set the record straight, we weren’t canoodling or making out or whatever else that sleazy article said. We have known each other since Sophomore year in high school, okay? There is a certain amount of intimacy that comes with a friendship like that and we aren’t afraid to show that.”

 

The reporter gave an interested nod of her head and scribbled on her paper again. Santana saw this and sat up from where she was kicked back in her chair, pointing at the notepad “Hey, no, I am not the one on record here. You can’t use that. I know how this works and I know you can’t use it if I don’t give you permission.”

 

“Why don’t you want me to use it?” The reporter asked with a challenging smirk on her lips.

 

Santana opened her mouth to combat that but stopped. She shrugged and waved her hand to the side as if she didn’t care “Fine, use that. I didn’t say anything that isn’t true. We’re best friends and any way you spin that will be false.”

 

The reporter nodded and scribbled on her paper again. She looked way too satisfied with herself when she looked back up at Rachel. She folded her hands together, looked at both girls, then nodded slightly “I think I have all that I need. Thank you for your time.”

 

“Wait” Rachel stood quickly and leaned over her desk. “That’s it? You don’t want more about the show?”

 

“Nope” The reporter shook her head and smirked “I have plenty.”

 

Rachel opened her mouth to protest but Santana stopped her. She had stood behind her and now grabbed onto her arm. “Come on, Berry. She’s just like that sleazy blog, digging where there’s nothing to find. Let’s get out of here.” She gave a tug to Rachel’s arm and motioned toward the door.

 

Rachel was a little stunned but she followed Santana. They moved out of the room, out of the photo studio, and into the crisp summer air of New York. Once they were in the car, which was waiting to take them home, Rachel turned to Santana and shook her head “Should I have my publicist call and try to retract anything? I don’t know, San, I feel like they are going to make something out of nothing.”

 

“It’s fine” Santana waved it off and settled in her seat. “They are going to try and do what that blog did. They are going to try and make a story where there isn’t one. When they see they have no usable juice they will scrap it and focus on the rest of the stuff. You are the interest piece here, Berry, not me. So don’t worry.”

 

Rachel nodded and let out a sigh as the car lurched forward. She hoped Santana was right. The last thing she needed was a scandal.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

When the magazine arrived a week later, Santana was the one to see it first. She plucked it out of their mailbox on her way up to the loft after work. She saw the copy and smiled at the way Rachel looked on the cover. She looked so amazing. She mindlessly flipped through the pages before finding the story as she stepped off the elevator. Her eyes skimmed as she moved toward the loft but paused right before she hit the door.

 

“Oh shit” Santana mumbled and looked up at the loft door in horror. She couldn’t go in, she couldn’t face Rachel. This was the last thing Rachel needed and in a matter of days the entire metro area of New York City would be reading it.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	12. Slander, denial, and total honesty

Santana stepped into the loft tentatively with the magazine tucked up under her arm. She glanced back and forth a few times and when she noticed there was no one around she let out a sigh of relief. She had time. She quickly ran over to the table, dropped the rest of the mail, and moved to her room. Maybe she could call Rachel’s publicist and get the article pulled before Rachel ever saw it. That was pretty much her only hope at the moment.

 

She tossed the magazine onto her bed and moved to her closet to change. She was quick to get out of her uniform and into something more comfortable. Once she was re-dressed she picked up her phone and started to look through her contacts. She couldn’t remember if Rachel had ever given her the number for her publicist. It seemed like something she would do, just in case. She had both of Rachel’s fathers phone numbers. She had the number of the director and producer of her play in there. She even had Rachel’s doctor and dentist in her phone. Rachel was a little bit paranoid something would happen and no one would know who to contact so she made sure Santana would know.

 

“Damn it” Santana sighed when she realized her publicist was one of the only numbers she didn’t have. Now what? She glanced around her room and after seeing a few post-it notes that Rachel had left on Santana’s mirror as reminders for various things, she smiled. Maybe Rachel had the number written down somewhere. She moved quickly out of her room and to Rachel’s. She paused outside her sheet door and for a moment she hesitated. She hadn’t gone into Rachel’s room without permission since she confessed to going through her stuff the first month she had moved in. It was a condition of her living there. No more snooping.

 

But this wasn’t snooping, was it? She was just trying to find some information that Rachel had in her room. As long as she didn’t rummage unnecessarily it would be fine, right? Shaking her head she pushed through the sheets and into the room. Rachel would just have to forgive her. This was bigger than privacy. This was slander.

 

Santana rushed over to Rachel’s vanity and started to look for anything written down. She found a few little notes here and there, nothing more than reminders to herself to call home or get more nail polish of a certain color, and a strange one that just read said ‘Santana???’

 

She perked an eyebrow at that and laughed. “Three question marks?” She tossed the note back into it’s spot and turned away from the vanity. Her eyes scanned the room and found a pile of papers on her dresser. Moving quickly she started to rummage through them. They were bills all piled in chronological order of when she had paid them. Each had a sticky note of the date, time, and amount she paid. Santana smirked and gently put the pile back down. “God she’s a freak” She whispered to herself with a laugh.

 

Moving now to Rachel’s closet she opened it and looked for a shoe box or a filing box. She found a shoe box and opened it only to quickly put the lid back on. She shook her head in disbelief and put the box back into it’s place. She backed away from the closet slowly, staring back at the box in horror. “I did not need to see that.”

 

“Santana?” Rachel’s voice broke through the loft and Santana froze in fear. How the Hell did she get into the loft so quietly? Santana looked around the room quickly, trying to find a place to hide. Unfortunately, Rachel’s room was very simple and clean with nowhere to really hide. So now she was formulating a lie. She was in there looking for a pair of earrings she had worn the night they had gone to the club. She couldn’t find them in her jewelry box so she thought maybe she had taken them off in Rachel’s room that night. Yes, that would work!

 

Rachel, who had been soaking in the bathtub to try and relax before her show, now made her way toward Santana’s room. She could have sworn she had heard her come in. She stopped outside her sheet door and leaned close to see if she could hear her inside. After a few moments of silence, she frowned and called out again softly “San? Are you home?”

 

Santana could see Rachel’s shadow through the sheets. Shit. How was she supposed to escape now? She might as well just give in and expose herself. She took in a deep sigh, held her head up high, then stepped out of Rachel’s room. “Hey.”

 

Rachel whipped around in surprise. She clutched a hand to her heart over her bathrobe and let out a heavy breath “Wh-what are you doing in my room?”

 

“I was looking for my earrings” Santana said calmly, even giving a shrug to sell the nonchalance of it. “I wore these really nice earrings to the club the other night and now I can’t find them. I figured since I just stripped out of my dress that maybe I had taken my earrings out and set them somewhere in your room, too.”

 

Rachel nodded slowly as she contemplated Santana’s words. She didn’t remember if Santana had worn earrings or not but it seemed legitimate. After a moment, she shrugged and gave her roommate a smile “I haven’t seen them but if I do I will let you know.”

 

Santana let out the loudest internal sigh of relief and smiled. “Thanks.” She moved passed Rachel now and into her room. She glanced at herself in the mirror and shook her head in disbelief. Sometimes she was so good at lying she even impressed herself.

 

“Hey, San?” Rachel asked then stepped into her room without permission. Technically she had followed her and not just barged in so it wasn’t considered a violation of privacy, right? She was about to continue her sentence when her eyes caught sight of herself on Santana’s bed and she quickly turned her head for a better look. She smiled immediately and moved over to scoop up the magazine “Oh my god! When did this get here?”

 

Santana froze. Her eyes went wide and she watched Rachel through her mirror. Shit. She quickly whipped around and stared at her friend in horror. Her mouth was so dry she couldn’t speak if she wanted to. So she just stood there, staring, hoping this was some bad dream.

 

Rachel flipped the magazine open, her smile growing wider as she saw all of her pictures and how good they looked. “Why didn’t you tell me it came? Did you already read it? Is it bad?” She finally looked up from the magazine and saw the look on Santana’s face. Her heart dropped immediately and her smile faded “Oh no. What is it?”

 

Santana drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. She bit her lip and motioned to the magazine with a little shake of her head. “Um” She licked her lips, really needing a drink, and shrugged her shoulders “It’s fine. I mean, you look amazing in your pictures and they said some nice things about your Tony and how you were a typical small town girl who made it big.”

 

Rachel nodded slowly and looked down to the pages again. She eyed herself smiling up from the pictures before she looked back up at Santana and shrugged “Okay then why the look? You looked like you saw a ghost when you realized I’d seen the magazine.”

 

Santana sighed and went over to Rachel. She snatched the magazine out of her hand and flipped a few pages. She didn’t even look up at Rachel, she didn’t want to see the worry in her face. Instead she found what she was looking for, drew in a deep breath, and started to read it to her.

 

“The mystery of Tony’s Santana, as she has come to be known throughout the Broadway world, has finally gotten a new lead. The buzz around the acceptance speech heard around the world is about to get louder now that we know who Santana is. After meeting an angry looking woman who accompanied Rachel to the photo shoot, this reporter wanted to know more. Though she wasn’t exactly pleasant while listening to the interview with Ms. Berry, even going as far as to interrupt and rudely answer a question herself, I was curious as to why a sweetheart such as Berry would speak so fondly about someone as awful as I was meeting that day. After some digging, I discovered exactly how far back their relationship goes. Once seemingly mortal enemies in high school these two have managed to not only get along but live together in peace. It seems that after discovering her sexuality her Junior year, Santana Lopez not only backed off in her hatred toward Rachel but even took a shining to her. They were seen hanging out together more frequently, working together more peacefully, and even heard harmonizing on several duets for their high school glee club. Could it be that realizing she was gay helped Santana also realize something else about herself? Was she secretly in love with Rachel the entire time? Lopez’s old cheerleading coach and someone who knew the girls well enough to sense a change in their attitudes toward each other thinks this is exactly the case.” 

 

“Wait, they contacted Sue? How did they even know to contact her?” Rachel shook her head quickly. “This can’t be legal. She has nothing to do with this!”

 

“It gets worse, Rach” Santana mumbled and looked back at the magazine. Rachel took a breath in to start speaking again but Santana shook her head “Just listen, okay?” Rachel huffed but nodded and motioned for Santana to continue. She drew in a breath of her own and cleared her throat before reading on.

 

“Sue Sylvester, world renowned champion cheer coach, recalls a particular moment when she visited the girls here in New York after they were already roommates. She claims the girls shared a bedroom, clothing, and even a toothbrush. ‘It was far too intimate for friends, if you ask me’ Sue recounts clearly. Funny she would use the word intimate. During Lopez’s outburst at the interview she too used the word intimate to describe their friendship. In defense of the rumors surrounding their recent club outing, she said ‘We have known each other since Sophomore year in high school, okay? There is a certain amount of intimacy that comes with a friendship like that and we aren’t afraid to show that.’ Now I implore you, my loyal readers, would you ever use the word intimate to describe your friendship? I know I wouldn’t. Maybe she’s just really comfortable around her long time school chum or maybe there is more going on. I’m not going to imply anything. I am going to let the evidence speak for itself and let you make your own conclusions. All I know is that there is a lot more to Rachel Berry than the world knows and I think a lot of that rests with the mystery that is one Santana Lopez.”

 

Rachel blinked as she processed what she had just heard. Her brows curled into a concerned frown as she took it all in. After a few moments of silence she shook her head and looked back to Santana with a heavy sigh “So they are taking false information from Sue and the fact that you used the word intimate and spinning it into a not-so-direct way of saying we’re lovers and I’m hiding that fact?”

 

Santana nodded and closed the magazine she held “Yeah, I guess. I mean apparently having an openly gay roommate and best friend is enough to take one word like intimacy and make it into more.”

 

“This is ridiculous. I mean you weren’t nice to me once you came out! I mean, yeah, you were a little nicer to everyone, it wasn’t just me. You still made jokes and called me names, though. It’s not like you were suddenly drawing hearts around my name on a notebook!” Rachel huffed and folded her arms. She eyed Santana curiously “Wait, you weren’t, were you?”

 

“No!” Santana rolled her eyes and tossed the magazine back onto her bed. “Look, Rach, I don’t know why Sue said what she said. Apparently she saw a chance to cause trouble and she took it. I guess she’s still pissed about being told off when she came to your opening night. I wouldn’t put it passed her to hold that against you for the rest of your life. You saw how she held a grudge in high school. I doubt that’s changed.”

 

Rachel just shook her head and sat on the edge of Santana’s bed now. She looked over at the magazine and suddenly her own face smiling up at her was making her sick. She closed her eyes and turned the magazine over so she didn’t have to look at it anymore. “This is awful, San. Everyone is going to read this. Everyone is going to see us hanging out and assume we’re on a date.”

 

“So what?” Santana frowned and moved over to sit next to her friend. She slid her arm around her and pulled her into a sideways hug. “I remember when I was coming out and I thought everyone would laugh at me. I thought everyone would make fun of me. I remember thinking my life was over because no one would treat me like a normal human being ever again. It was terrifying.”

 

“Santana, I’m not coming out” Rachel mumbled softly.

 

“I know” Santana said with a laugh. “But the rest of the world doesn’t know that. So they might look at you a little differently for a little bit, so what? The people who matter won’t care. The people who really know you won’t care. They will actually probably laugh. This is awful, I agree, but only because this magazine felt the need to make accusations against you to sell their publications. You are one of the most incredible and caring people in the world. They got it right when they called you a sweetheart, but that’s all they got right. So just screw them, okay? You and I both know the truth and that’s all that matters.”

 

Rachel let out a heavy sigh and looked over to her friend who was holding her. She smiled and rolled her eyes before settling her head against her shoulder “I’m actually really upset about what they said about you. I think you just pissed her off and she wanted revenge.”

 

Santana let out a laugh at that “Trust me, toots, if I got in a huff about everyone who I pissed off and were now seeking revenge I would never sleep. I am not at all offended about anything that was said about me. I find it kind of funny, actually. They painted me as this totally awful human being which I think is awesome.”

 

Rachel let out a laugh at that and she sat up. She turned to face Santana now, reaching out to take her hand. She gave it a tight squeeze “You are not an awful human being. You are caring and protective and one of the most talented people I have ever met. People should know that! I mean, come on, if I was going to come out as dating anyone I would want people to know it was because they were as incredible as me.”

 

Santana smirked and shook her head in amusement “Are you asking me out, Berry?”

 

Rachel let out a laugh and pushed Santana’s hand away “You wish!” She smirked in amusement and shook her head as the thought swirled around. Santana was ridiculous. “Ask you out” She mused with a huff. How silly. If only they really were dating, this would be easier. She had never denied being gay, after all. It wasn’t like she would have been hiding it. No one had ever asked. This would be the perfect way to just come out if she were gay. Then something awkward occurred to her. Her eyes went wide and she looked up at Santana eagerly “Yes!” She nodded quickly.

 

“Yes what?” Santana asked with a laugh. She had gotten off the bed and was looking through her drawers for some pants since the shorts she was wearing were rubbing her the wrong way.

 

“Yes, I am asking you out” Rachel stood up from the bed quickly. 

 

Santana paused. She blinked and tilted her head to the side. She was trying to decide if she had really heard what she thought she had heard. Realizing she had been silent a little too long she slowly turned away from her dresser and arched an eyebrow curiously at her friend “What?”

 

“Let’s go out” Rachel said with a serious look on her face. “I mean, I’ve never said I wasn’t gay. It’s never come up. How about instead of denying this or fighting it and having more rumors fly and having people prying into our private lives to try and get confirmation or something juicy for their tabloids we just say we are dating. Release a statement that says something about how we have never hidden it. Say something like we just kept personal lives and business lives separate but with my rising fame we realize it would come to the surface eventually. That way there is no more sleazy prying and rumors and people can just move on.”

 

“No, no, Rachel this is a horrible idea” Santana’s heart was racing so hard she couldn’t even hear the words she had said. She wondered if she had actually said them or if they had gotten caught in her dry throat.

 

“No it’s not” Rachel said with a shake of her head, confirming that Santana had actually spoken.

 

“Yes it is!” Santana’s voice squeaked. She cleared her throat and licked her lips before giving her head a shake. “Rachel this is stupid. We can not fake date. Nothing good can come from this. Let’s just ignore it. The rumors will die down and we can move on.”

 

“They won’t die, don’t you see? We will be stalked every time we go out. We will have people trying to snap a picture of us together doing something scandalous. We will have absolutely no peace ever again.” Rachel pulled at the tie around her bathrobe that she was still wearing and shrugged a bit. “At least this way we control the attention we get. I’m sure there will be a media fury around us for a bit but at least this way we will know it’s all positive. We can openly hold hands and look like a happy couple and when it gets boring they will move on! People love secrets and scandal more than they love happily ever after!”

 

“Rachel this is idiotic” Santana huffed in annoyance and moved over to her friend. She grabbed her shoulders and gave a little shake as if trying to wiggle the idea out of her brain. “I repeat, nothing good will come of this.”

 

“San” Rachel reached up and grabbed her arms. She pulled them off her shoulders and let out a soft laugh. “Come on, do this for me. I mean, it can only help you, too. Dating the hottest up and coming Broadway star will only create buzz for you and, if I remember correctly, you have a movie coming out soon. Think of what that could mean. The free publicity can’t be beat!”

 

“Rachel, no” Santana said firmly. She turned around to walk away from Rachel and after two steps realized she had walked further into her room. She huffed and went to her window and looked through it as if something suddenly interesting had happened down below. She put her forehead against it and closed her eyes with a heavy sigh.

 

“San?” Rachel bit her lip and moved over toward her but did not fully close the gap. She stood just out of arms reach and chewed her lip nervously. “I respect your decision to say no. I am fully ready to face whatever comes to me because of this accusation. But I want to ask why you are so adamant about saying no.”

 

Santana drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. How did she calmly lie to Rachel about the fact that fake dating her would be Hell? How did she say she didn’t want to do this because it would be like torture to her? Because all she wants is to really date her and she knows that will never happen. Why pretend to date her and torture herself? She was fine with accepting that she will never have Rachel and she knew fake dating would bring back the slightest bit of hope and she didn’t need that. She didn’t need to suffer for no reason. Realizing she hadn’t answered Rachel, she opened her eyes and stared at her in the reflection of the glass “Someone might get hurt.”

 

“How?” Rachel blinked, taken aback by the answer. 

 

Santana shrugged and turned around to face Rachel. She slowly looked up from her feet and found Rachel’s curious gaze. She let out a sigh and tried to play it off with a wave of her hand “Because lying about who you are is the fastest way to hurt yourself.”

 

“I’m fine” Rachel said with a shrug. “I know who I am. This isn’t really a lie. It’s just a bent truth. We are close, I love you because you are my best friend, and we already go everywhere together. So what if the world thinks we’re getting naked together in the privacy of our own home? That is kind of true, too. You did wake up next to me naked very recently.” She tried to laugh at that, wanting to lighten the mood.

 

“It’s not the same, Rachel” Santana mumbled with a roll of her eyes. She stared at her friend for a few long moments before shaking her head and looking away from her “What happens when we break up? You meet a guy you want to date so now you have to break up with me so it doesn’t look like you are cheating on me. What happens then? Don’t you think it’s weird that we still live together? We are still seen hanging out and being best friends?”

 

“I doubt anyone will care” Rachel waved it off with a huff of a laugh. “Besides, plenty of exes in Hollywood remain friends.”

 

“Name one couple” Santana challenged and folded her arms.

 

Rachel opened her mouth but stopped when she realized she had no answer. She thought about it for a moment then smiled “Courtney Cox and David Arquette.”

 

“They have kids. Name a celebrity couple who has broken up and remain friends who don’t have kids or aren’t co-stars.” Santana’s eyebrow remained perked as she stared at her friend.

 

Rachel frowned and folded her arms. She thought it over again and each time she thought she had the answer she stopped herself. She let out a sigh and finally threw her hands up in defeat “Fine! No one who has ever broken up in the public eye who doesn’t have kids has ever stayed friends, you’re right. But who cares? We could break that mold, too! We could be the first ones to remain best friends!”

 

Santana rolled her eyes and shook her head “That’s stupid. This is stupid. I am not going to fake date you just to avoid ugly rumors and stalkerazzi.”

 

“Santana” Rachel frowned. “This is fool proof.”

 

“No it’s not” Santana grabbed her phone where it had been tossed on her bed and moved passed Rachel with a huff. She stormed out of her room and toward the loft door. She pushed her feet into her shoes then slid the door open so hard it slammed loudly.

 

“Santana, wait” Rachel gave chase but stopped as soon as she reached the kitchen table. She saw Santana disappearing out of the loft and knew she couldn’t chase her down the hallway in her bathrobe. Now wouldn’t that be a juicy tabloid tidbit. Lover’s quarrel and Rachel in a bathrobe. She rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest with a heavy sigh. She didn’t see what the big deal was. If she was ever going to fake date someone it would be Santana. She knew she could trust her.

 

“Woah” Emily appeared in the still open loft door with Paige in tow, the two of them looking over their shoulders. Emily shook her head and motioned behind her as she stepped into the loft and looked at Rachel “Santana nearly plowed us over in the hallway. Where’s the fire?”

 

Rachel let out a sigh and sat down at the table with a shake of her head “I think I offended her but I’m not really sure how.”

 

Paige stepped into the loft then curiously moved with Emily to the table “What happened?”

 

Rachel recounted the story as it had unfolded. She told them about the article, about Sue, and how she had gotten the idea for them to just date in the public eye to avoid everything negative that she was sure would come from it. After spilling all the details, she sighed and looked at the girls who had gathered at the table to listen and shrugged “Is it really that crazy of an idea?”

 

Emily looked at Paige then down at her hands before shrugging a bit “I’m not sure it’s a good idea at all.”

 

“Why not?” Rachel asked softly. “I thought she would totally love the free publicity for her movie. It’s an indy. I thought all good buzz around it could only help.”

 

“I don’t think it’s about that at all” Paige said with a shrug. “Rachel, this world is such a different place than it was even five years ago. I know that people used to hide who they were and pretend to be straight and live their entire lives unhappy. But to do it now? To pretend to be gay for attention? That is kind of a slap in the face to all of the progress that’s been made.”

 

“There’s nothing simple about lying” Emily added with a little nod.

 

Rachel sighed and looked down at her hands. She was such an idiot. She didn’t even realize that she was insulting the entire coming out process. She remembered how Santana had struggled with it. She had been basically forced out of the closet before she had been ready and it had taken it’s toll on her. Rachel didn’t even think about it. She had been selfish in trying to combat some troublesome rumors and nosy paparazzi and hadn’t thought about what it would mean to Santana. 

 

“Besides” Emily said with a shrug when she saw Rachel contemplating what they had said “Don’t you think it would have been like super awkward for you?”

 

“Why?” Rachel asked softly.

 

“Because” Paige said with a little laugh as if it should have been obvious. When Rachel looked up at her and shrugged cluelessly, Paige smiled “Because of the way you feel about her.”

 

Rachel’s cheek burned slightly and she looked away again. She felt her gut twist a little bit at the thought of it. She hadn’t even considered that. How would that have affected her feelings? Paige was right, it would have been awkward. Lines would have been blurred and it would have been even more confusing than it already was. She nodded after a moment and looked back up at the other girls “You’re right. I didn’t even think about it that way.”

 

Emily smiled and reached out to pat at Rachel’s hand “I think it’s best to not pretend to date someone you might have feelings for.”

 

“Then what do I do?” Rachel looked between the two girls, desperation on her face.

 

Paige waved her hand and let out a soft laugh “Ignore it like the other one. Let people speculate. Trust me, rumors are only as harmful as you let them be. Everything that article said about you and Santana was false. I mean, yeah, you live together and have known each other since high school but that’s about it. So stick with that story and make sure that is the only constant in the story whenever you are asked about her. Laugh off anything else they might bring up and say something about how people making up stories about you must mean you’ve really made it.”

 

“Play it off” Emily nodded in agreement. “If you don’t let it affect you they will drop it soon enough. You aren’t hiding anything so it’s not like you are lying.”

 

“You’re right” Rachel said with a nod. “I’m not hiding anything. So what if I have a lesbian roommate and best friend who I am close with. It doesn’t mean we are sleeping together!”

 

“Even if you kind of want to” Emily teased with a little smirk.

 

“I do not” Rachel huffed but the blush that rose on her cheeks told that maybe she wasn’t being completely truthful.

 

Paige and Emily both laughed at that. Emily nudged Rachel playfully and Paige smirked slightly “Oh did we discover something here?”

 

“No!” Rachel scowled and stood up from the table. She looked at the two girls staring at her in complete amusement and rolled her eyes “I don’t want to sleep with Santana, okay?”

 

“Me thinks she protests too much” Emily mumbled, fighting another laugh.

 

“You guys are ridiculous!” Rachel stomped her foot and moved over to the fridge. She nearly ripped the door off it’s hinges and dug inside for a water bottle. Once she pulled it out, she slammed the door shut, uncapped, took a drink, then stood with a hand on her hip scowling at the girls “I haven’t figured out how I feel about Santana, okay? All I know is I haven’t stopped thinking about the kiss. Sometimes I get scared that it meant she secretly likes me and sometimes I get nervous that I liked it. Sometimes I think about trying to kiss her and get butterflies in my stomach. I’ve gotten really good at convincing myself that I want the experience to use for future reference. Part of me believes that but a bigger part of me knows that’s a lie. I think about what would happen if I did give it a try and I’m both terrified I would like it and that it would go horrible and I’d lose my best friend. For as much as I can’t figure out, the one thing I do know is that losing my best friend is a risk I am not willing to take. So until I am 100% sure how I feel and exactly what to do about it, I am not going to do or say anything stupid!”

 

Emily had been staring at Rachel in horror through her entire rant. When Rachel saw the look on her face, she rolled her eyes “Don’t look at me that way. I’m not really that mad I just had to get that off my chest.” She shook her head and lifted the water to her mouth to take a drink.

 

“What did you just say?” Santana asked from where she stood in the open doorway.

 

Rachel’s eyes went wide and she spit the water she had in her mouth out. It sprayed over both Emily and Paige and they winced but neither of them said anything. Rachel slowly turned around and the look of horror on her face was evident as her eyes landed on Santana. “S-Santana. Um..” She wiped her chin where the water had dribbled out of her mouth “How long have you been back?”

 

“Long enough” Santana blinked and gave her head a shake. She couldn’t take her eyes off of Rachel. She wasn’t sure she had heard everything clearly. Even if she had only heard half of it correctly it was still completely unexpected.

 

Rachel managed to shut her mouth, which had been hanging open as she stared in shock at Santana. She cleared her throat and looked at her feet for a moment before letting out a heavy sigh and slowly bringing her eyes back up to her friend “How much did you hear?”

 

Santana let out a sound of disbelief and shook her head “Does it matter? Rachel, why wouldn’t you tell me about this?”

 

“Why do you think?” Rachel bit her lip as tears started to form in her eyes. This had not been the way she had wanted to have this conversation. If she was being honest, she had never wanted to have this conversation with her. But now that she had heard it there was no going back and she was terrified by what that meant. She was trying to stay calm but was failing and the tears were a sign of that.

 

As completely thrown off guard that Santana was, it all kind of faded when she saw Rachel’s tears. She hadn’t even started actually crying and Santana already felt her heart twisting with guilt. She quickly moved over to her friend and wrapped her arms around her in a tight hug. “Hey, don’t cry alright?”

 

Emily and Paige shared a glance. In silent agreement, they both nodded then got to their feet. “Well” Emily said as casually as possible. “Paige and I have reservations.”

 

“Yep” Paige agreed with a forced smile. The girls quickly moved around the hugging friends and out of the loft. Paige tugged on the door to pull it shut and once it clicked in place, her eyes got wide and she shook her head in shock “That escalated so fast!”

 

Emily nodded and glanced at the door before folding her arms across herself “I feel so bad for teasing her. I had no idea Santana was going to come home so soon.”

 

“It’s not your fault” Paige said with a frown, reaching out to rub her arm lightly. “Come on, let’s go grab some food and let them work it out. I’m sure it will be fine.”

 

“You sure we shouldn’t stick around?”

 

“And do what?” Paige shrugged slightly. “Come on, there is nothing we can do right now.”

 

Emily let out a sigh but gave in and followed Paige to the elevator. She didn’t think she would be able to eat, though. She couldn’t get the look of shock on Santana’s face out of her head.

 

“Hey” Santana said softly once the loft door had been shut. She stepped back and held Rachel at arms length at the shoulders. “Look at me, Rach.”

 

Rachel shook her head and wiped the single tear that had slipped from her eye off her cheek. She took in a deep breath and slowly lifted her eyes to find Santana’s. When their eyes met, she drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I am so sorry.”

 

“About what?” Santana asked with a shake of her head. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

 

“I was insensitive about the whole fake dating thing. I didn’t even think that it might be insulting to you and your entire coming out process that you’ve been through” Rachel rolled her eyes and wiped at another tear.

 

“Forget it” Santana waved it off and shrugged her shoulders. “It was a ridiculously awful over reaction to crisis. That is exactly what Rachel Berry is known for. Don’t you think I know this by now? I just needed to go for a run to clear my head and remind me of that.” She offered Rachel a smile and gave her shoulders a soft squeeze.

 

Rachel tried to smile but the corners of her lips barely twitched. She let out a heavy sigh and shook her head. When her eyes met Santana’s again they shared a long gaze and it seemed that they somehow managed to communicate without words in that moment. Santana’s look was asking her about what she had overheard. They were pleading with her to talk to her. She was telling her that it would be alright. Rachel gave a quick nod at what Santana’s eyes were saying and she mumbled softly “What now?”

 

“Well” Santana said with a little shrug before letting go of Rachel’s shoulders and motioning for her to sit at the table. She waited until she was settled before she moved to the cabinets and fished out their mugs. She placed them near the stove before grabbing the teapot and filing it with water. She set it on the stove, turned on the heat, then turned to look at Rachel as she leaned back against the counter. “Start from the beginning, I guess.”

 

Rachel took in a deep breath as she thought about where to start. She shrugged after a moment and glanced up at Santana “The kiss.”

 

Santana nodded slowly at that. She pursed her lips together as she thought it over and after a moment let out a huff “Yeah I knew I messed up when I did that. I’m really sorry about that, Rachel.”

 

“Don’t apologize” Rachel whispered softly. Her eyelids trembled and threatened to spill the remaining tears that had formed as she looked at the regret on her friend’s face. “I’m not mad or weirded out by it or anything else you might be thinking. I know it worried you.”

 

Santana rolled her eyes and tried to shrug it off “Not really.”

 

“Will you just stop lying about it? I think now is the time to be honest with each other” Rachel’s eyes on Santana were firm as she spoke. She didn’t want to dance around this anymore.

 

The look on Rachel’s face hit Santana right in the gut. She drew in a deep breath, held it for a moment, then released it in a heavy huff before rolling her eyes “Fine. I totally freaked myself out when I did that. I was afraid you’d think I was secretly in love with you or even worse you would get totally grossed out and leave. So I backed off and pretended it didn’t happen so you wouldn’t freak out about it and just drop it.”

 

Rachel just rolled her eyes at that. “If you really think I have a problem with you being gay do you think I would live with you? Santana, sometimes we make mistakes and a true friend doesn’t freak out about it. They realize it was a mistake and help you through it. If I ever thought you’d kiss me and I’d reacted badly about it I would have never let you move in. It was a risk I was willing to take.”

 

“Oh so now I’m a risk?” Santana rolled her eyes and turned her back to Rachel when the teapot went off. She poured water in both mugs before grabbing the tea out of the cabinet and bring it to the table. She set down Rachel’s mug in front of her then plopped into the seat next to her. She dug through the selection of teas before picking one and opening it.

 

“No, you’re not a risk. That’s not what I meant” Rachel frowned at having upset Santana. She picked out a tea for herself and opened it as well. “I just meant that, I mean, I’m a girl and you are attracted to girls and if the idea that one day if, for some reason, you started to like me in that way really bothered me do you think I would live with you?”

 

Santana shrugged as she moved her tea bag up and down in her water. “I guess not.”

 

Rachel nodded and stirred her tea bag around “It doesn’t bother me. In fact, I always told myself that if one day you did, for whatever reason, start to like me like in that way that I would be flattered. You’re beautiful, Santana. I’d be lucky to catch your attention.” She smiled and reached across to touch at her friends hand softly.

 

Santana rolled her eyes again but managed to smile. She glanced up at Rachel and shrugged again “So are you saying that the kiss was one of those mistakes you are going to not judge me for and help me through?”

 

Rachel nodded a little bit and offered a smile “If I thought the kiss was an actual mistake, yes.”

 

“Wait” Santana’s brows knitted together in confusion and she gave her head a shake “You don’t think it was a mistake?”

 

Rachel shrugged her shoulders at that and looked down at her tea “And that’s the question now isn’t it?” She lifted her tea to take a sip and once she swallowed it, cleared her throat “I am not sure how much you heard but if you did then you know that I haven’t really figured it all out.”

 

Santana nodded and looked at her tea as well. She drew in a few slow breaths to try and calm her beating heart. She had heard pretty much all of it and as much as she had wanted to pretend she hadn’t, she couldn’t deny it now. This was happening. They were actually talking about it. She took a deep breath and looked back at Rachel “So you still think about the kiss?”

 

Rachel nodded quickly and drew in a sharp breath. She kept her eyes on Santana because she felt if she looked away she would start back tracking. “Yeah” She finally admitted. She licked at her lips and swallowed the lump in her throat. “I haven’t been able to figure out how I feel about it.”

 

“Well what exactly are you having a hard time with?” Santana didn’t want to frustrate her but she also wanted to try and help. It was a thin line when it came to stuff like this. She knew all too well how trying to figure out what it all means could get overwhelming very quickly.

 

Rachel shrugged and took another sip of her tea before answering “I guess firstly I can’t really figure out why I didn’t say no when you asked if you could kiss me.”

 

Santana laughed softly at that “I still can’t figure that one out either. I mean you tried really hard not to hurt my feelings by explaining that when you said no you meant no I shouldn’t because why would I want to. But you never expressly said no and I have no idea why.”

 

“Me either” Rachel laughed in defeat. “But asking myself why I didn’t stop you always leads to two more questions. Did I like it and did I return it?”

 

“You didn’t exactly return it. You got super stiff and didn’t really move at all. But you didn’t pull back either.” Santana shrugged before sipping her tea.

 

Rachel nodded at that and thought about it for a moment. So she hadn’t returned it. She looked up from her tea and smiled “I was probably too in shock to return it. It holds no significance toward your kissing ability.”

 

“So I’m a good kisser, eh?” Santana smirked. She couldn’t help it, she had to say something to lighten the mood.

 

Rachel just blushed and dipped her head. She nodded slightly and rolled her eyes before looking back at Santana “Through all the confusion I have never once questioned whether it was a good kiss so I suppose that means you did alright.”

 

Santana’s smirk held on her lips as she added “And had you not been in shock would you have returned it?”

 

Rachel’s blush grew but she nodded quickly “You know I think I might have. Whether out of natural reaction to being kissed or because I liked it? That remains unknown to me.”

 

Santana’s smirk faded as she drew in a very slow breath. That answer had definitely not been what she had expected. She had thought Rachel would have said no. She thought returning the kiss was completely out of the question. But hearing that Rachel might have made her heart jump into her throat. She swallowed hard and nodded weakly before letting out the breath she had drawn in “Do you know what might help you figure out whether it was natural reaction or because you liked it?”

 

Rachel shook her head a bit. In all honestly she felt that at the moment of the kiss nothing could have clarified the difference to her. Had she actually been able to return the drunken kiss she had no idea if it would have been reaction or enjoyment. But since then she had realized her feelings for Santana and knew that if it were to happen again she would return it without a doubt and it would be because she had wanted it to happen.

 

Santana nodded a little when Rachel seemed to have slipped into thought. She wouldn’t push. If Rachel wanted to say something, she would. By the look on her face, though, it seemed she was still working it all out. So Santana just sipped her tea and silently prayed Rachel would break the thickening awkward silence that had settled around them.

 

Rachel didn’t break the silence. In fact she just kind of let it set in. She sipped her tea and avoided Santana’s gaze now. She thought about the kiss and returning it had she not been in shock and what that would have meant in that moment. She knew now of her feelings for Santana but what about back when it happened? Would she have freaked herself out by returning the kiss or would they have been lost in a passionate kiss all night long? It seemed now she had even more questions than before.

 

Santana couldn’t take it. Rachel was obviously working something out in her head and it was killing her not knowing. She sighed and set her tea down before clearing her throat and shattering the silence “I also happened to hear you say something about your feelings for me. What did you mean by that?”

 

Rachel’s heart did a flip in her chest. She had hoped Santana hadn’t heard that but of course she wasn’t that lucky. How did she explain that one? She didn’t answer right away and when Santana shifted and cleared her throat again, Rachel looked up at her with a sigh “It’s stupid, really. Nothing to worry about.”

 

“Obviously it is if you were terrified that it might cause you to lose me” Santana was sick of beating around the bush. The tension they had over this subject had gone on too long and if they could finally just sit down and clear the air and go back to normal then so be it.

 

Rachel sighed and glanced to her tea before looking back at Santana. Her shoulders slumped in defeat and she shook her head “I don’t know Santana, okay? I got really confused by the kiss and how I felt about it and then all of the sudden you were pulling away and dating that disgusting girl and I guess it kind of freaked me out because I thought I was losing you because of how I reacted to the kiss. Then we planned on spending the day shopping and I was so excited about it because I hadn’t felt close to you in a long time. I felt like maybe our friendship had changed. But we went shopping and it was just like old times and then Emily crashed our day and I got really mad and it wasn’t because she was spying on us. I guess I just realized...” She shook her head and stood up from the table now “nevermind.”

 

“Hey, no. No nevermind” Santana reached out and caught Rachel’s arm before she could flee. She pulled at it gently and spoke softly “Rach, come on, talk to me. You haven’t lost me as a friend, obviously. And, yeah, our friendship did change there for a little bit but that’s because I thought you freaked out about me kissing you and wanted nothing to do with me. So maybe I fake dated Zoe to get your attention because I didn’t really know how else to go about it without thinking I would freak you out again by being clingy or something. I mean I didn’t want you thinking I was being clingy. So I stepped back and fake dated Zoe so you didn’t think I was harboring secret feelings for you or something.”

 

“Are you?” Rachel spat the question without even thinking it.

 

“What?” Santana mumbled and let go of Rachel’s arm.

 

“Are you harboring secret feelings for me?” Rachel asked again, this time weaker as she realized what she was actually asking.

 

Santana shook her head and looked down at her hand as it dropped away from Rachel. She didn’t want to lie but she didn’t want to admit it either. So what did she say? She bit her lip and after a moment let out a frustrated laugh “That’s stupid.”

 

“What’s stupid?” Rachel folded her arms now. She was growing frustrated as well and now, well, now she just wanted answers. “It’s stupid to think that I am worthy enough to actually have feelings for?”

 

“No” Santana looked hurt when she looked up at Rachel. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

 

“Then what’s stupid?” Rachel asked again firmly.

 

Santana just shook her head and stood up from the table too. She moved to the sink and dumped out her tea before turning to look at Rachel. She folded her arms and kept her distance as she shrugged it off “This whole thing is ridiculous, Rachel. Friends get drunk and kiss, it’s no big deal.”

 

“Then why are you avoiding the question?” Rachel huffed and threw up her arms with exasperation.

 

“I’m not avoiding it!” Santana snapped a little too loudly. She shook her head defensively and tried to remain calm but it wasn’t working.

 

“Then answer me!” Rachel stomped her foot.

 

“Stop asking me” Santana yelled in response.

 

“No!” Rachel growled the question again “Do you have feelings for me?”

 

“Do you?” Santana shouted in response. 

 

Annoyed and exhausted by going in circles, Rachel finally gave in and cried out “Yes!”

 

Santana blinked at the confession. She wasn’t sure she had heard it right. She really needed to get her hearing checked. Her breath caught in her throat and she nodded quickly before trying to snap back just as loudly but having it come out as a weak grumble “Well good because so do I.”

 

Rachel had not been expecting that. She was terrified that Santana would laugh at her but instead she actually returned the feeling? She shook her head in disbelief and stuttered out a soft “Wh-what?”

 

Santana, annoyed all over again at Rachel’s inability to comprehend what she had just said, gave a frustrated grunt “Don’t be an idiot, Rachel. You’ve known how I feel for a long time.”

 

“I haven’t” Rachel said honestly. “Santana, I swear. If I had known I wouldn’t have gone on like this.”

 

Santana mumbled “Yeah right” as she folded her arms across her chest.

 

“I swear” Rachel whispered now and slowly approached Santana. She reached out and lightly touched at her arm as her eyes cautiously searched for Santana’s. “San, look at me.”

 

Santana let out a soft sigh, blinked once, and lifted her eyes from where she had been staring at the floor. When she met Rachel’s hopeful gaze, her heart flipped in her chest again. “What?”

 

“Do you really have feelings for me?” Rachel smiled as she said the words. She liked the sound of it.

 

Santana rolled her eyes and mumbled again “Are you really that stupid?”

 

Rachel frowned for a moment but shook it off and nodded her head “Apparently.”

 

With a sigh, Santana rolled her eyes and shrugged “Apparently you are too thick headed to realize not only how I felt about you but how you felt about me.”

 

“Well, yeah, the second one kind of took me by surprise” Rachel said with a soft laugh.

 

“Me too” Santana nodded with a smile. She lifted her eyes and found Rachel’s gaze once more. They stared at one another for a few long heartbeats before it was too much honesty and Santana had to look away. She licked her lips and shrugged slightly “So what do we do now?”

 

Rachel shook her head slightly “I don’t really know. I always thought if I admitted to what I was feeling you would laugh in my face and start packing to move as far away from me as possible.”

 

“I’ll do that while you sleep tonight” Santana mumbled which caused Rachel to laugh and swat at her playfully. Santana looked back at Rachel and her smile that had risen on her lips because of her joke faded and she shrugged again “The last thing I want to do is move as far away from you as possible.”

 

“Good to know” Rachel offered a smile. She stared at Santana’s face and wondered what she was thinking. She licked her lips nervously and mumbled a soft “Well what’s the first thing you want to do?”

 

“What?” Santana perked an eyebrow in slight confusion.

 

“You said moving away was the last thing you want to do. So what is the first thing?” Rachel batted her eyes and shrugged as if the question was the most casual thing she could think to ask.

 

Santana bit her lip and looked at her feet. She knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to erase all of Rachel’s questions about the drunken kiss. She wanted to press her mouth to hers and see once and for all if Rachel would return it and, more importantly, if she would like it.

 

Rachel didn’t wait for Santana to answer. She could see it all over her face. So she did the one thing that needed to be done and leaned into Santana, cupped her face gently, pulled her lips to her own, and kissed her friend.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	13. What a difference a kiss makes

This time it was Santana that stiffened in shock. When Rachel’s lips pressed to hers, she drew in a deep breath, held it, and stared wide eyed at the very close face of her friend. Were they still friends? Rachel was kissing her, after all. What did that mean? Wait, Rachel was kissing her and she was having this internal discussion with herself about whether or not they were still classified as friends? Shut up, brain! Kiss her back!

 

Luckily the internal struggle only lasted a second or so before Santana reacted to the kiss. Her hand lifted and she cupped lightly at the back of Rachel’s head, pulled her a little more tightly into the kiss, and pressed her lips back in return. This was really happening now. Rachel was kissing her and she was kissing Rachel. Her heart was racing so fast she wasn’t sure it could keep up with the excitement coursing through her veins.

 

Relief flooded Rachel when Santana returned the kiss. She couldn’t help but smile against the kiss at the fact that this was really happening. She had just decided to go for it and not only had it been successful, but it was still going on. It wasn’t awkward, no one was crying in anger, and neither of them had stopped it. She felt that this might be the best moment of her life.

 

Out of habit, Santana’s head tilted to the side and her lips parted to deepen the kiss. She had finally managed to close her eyes and let herself fully embrace what was happening and how good it felt. Now it was like she was on auto pilot and though her body felt numb with exhilaration, her lips took over as if she wasn’t struggling to stay standing. 

 

When Rachel felt Santana’s lips part, her own did as well. She didn’t even think about it. It was as if they had kissed a thousand times before and each set of lips just knew what the other wanted to do. When her lips parted, her tongue slipped out, and gently brushed over the other lips. A soft moan escaped at the jolt of excitement the simple movement had caused.

 

Santana’s tongue found Rachel’s without a moment of hesitation. It was like a masterfully practiced Waltz that they had danced together for so long it was second nature. The sound of Rachel’s moan sent a shiver down Santana’s spine and her hand fell from behind Rachel’s head and gripped at her hip. She pulled ever so slightly, just enough to bring their bodies that much closer together. It was amazing how naturally their bodies melted together without any effort at all. 

 

The feel of Santana pulling their bodies together caused another soft moan to escape through the tangling of lips and tongues. Rachel’s teeth clamped down just the slightest bit and pulled Santana’s lower lip between them. She gave the softest nibble before letting it slide free and resume the tango it had been doing with her own lips.

 

Santana thought she might actually combust at the feel of Rachel’s teeth on her lip. A violent shiver ripped through her from her lip all the way to her toes. She let out a deep, throaty grunt, and pulled back from the kiss without thinking. Her eyes came open and as she focused on Rachel pulling back from the kiss, her fingertips lifted to touch at the spot of the bite.

 

“I’m so sorry” Rachel breathed out heavily when she realized Santana had pulled back because she had bitten her. “I didn’t mean to. Sometimes I get a little over zealous and I bite.”

 

“No” Santana laughed as her hand dropped away from her lips and her tongue took it’s turn sliding over the spot. “Don’t apologize at all. Damn it, Berry” She let out a heavy sigh before her lips curled into a smirk “I just...” She was a little speechless and it showed as her head shook and she visibly looked to be searching for the right words.

 

Rachel bit her own lip nervously now as she watched Santana stammer over some words. There was a visible smirk but Rachel couldn’t tell if it was good or bad. She slowly lifted a hand to Santana’s cheek, using her fingers to push the hair that had fallen forward during the kiss back behind her ear “Is that a good ‘Damn it, Berry’ or a bad one?”

 

“Good” Santana said quickly when she saw the worry painted on Rachel’s face. She smiled and lifted both hands to cup at Rachel’s face, holding her there so she could stare right into her eyes so that when she spoke she knew Rachel would see the truth in her words “I can’t remember the last time I was kissed like that.”

 

“Oh good” Rachel tried to sound casual but her cheeks were burning in a bright blush. She couldn’t take her eyes off of Santana’s now. She liked the honesty she saw in them. She noticed they looked different now. Santana’s gaze seemed calmer and more relaxed then it had during their conversation. 

 

Realizing that the two of them had been locked in a stare down for a few moments, Santana let go of Rachel’s face almost shyly and finally looked away. She once more licked at the spot where Rachel’s teeth had scraped against her lip and nodded her head. “So” She lifted her eyes to look back at Rachel and offered her a little smile “I guess since you bit me and all that means we know the answer to whether or not you’d enjoy kissing me.”

 

Rachel laughed very softly and gave a single nod of her head “Well once I realized I had more than just friendly feelings toward you I think I realized I would like kissing you as well. But it is definitely good to have all doubt washed away now.”

 

Santana smiled and dipped her head shyly. She pulled in a few deep breaths to calm herself because, honestly, she was having a hard time believing this was happening. They had talked. They had cleared the air. They had both admitted to having feelings for each other and they had actually kissed. It was hard to believe she wasn’t dreaming and even more so hard to believe neither of them was running away in terror.

 

Rachel watched Santana stare at the floor and nervously wondered if she had said something wrong. Was Santana all of the sudden coming out of whatever zombie coma she had been in and realizing they had just kissed and freaking out? Was she changing her mind about liking Rachel? She let out a sigh and tried to shake the thoughts from her head as she reached out to take Santana’s hand “What are you thinking?”

 

Santana looked at where Rachel’s hand held hers and smiled. She moved her hand so her fingers slid between Rachel’s before slowly looking back up to the girl. She just shrugged her shoulders and let out a happy sigh “I just can’t believe this is really happening. For so long I have been terrified about how I feel about you that I pretty much denied it all of the time. I was so afraid that telling you would make things awkward and we would have to stop being friends because it was too much. Now, I mean, look at this? It’s hard to believe nothing awful has happened at all. I mean, Hell, not only did nothing awful happen but a fucking amazing kiss took place. It’s like some sort of dream.”

 

Rachel gave a giddy smile. She lifted her free hand to Santana’s arm and without warning pinched her fingers together tightly.

 

“Ouch!” Santana howled and jumped back, dropping Rachel’s hand, and lifting it to where Rachel had pinched her. She scowled as she rubbed the spot “What the Hell was that for!?”

 

Rachel let out a soft laugh “I just wanted you to know you weren’t dreaming.”

 

Santana’s mouth dropped open and she let out a surprised gasp. She stared at Rachel in disbelief before laughing and giving her head a shake “That was mean. You’re mean. I change my mind, I don’t like you anymore.”

 

“Too late, no take backsies” Rachel said in a sing song voice. She was just so giddy now than she couldn’t hide it.

 

Santana was about to give a snarky reply when Rachel’s phone started to ring. It echoed through the mostly quiet loft and caught both of their attention right away. Santana frowned and gave an annoyed roll of her eyes. Of course someone would call and interrupt this perfect fucking moment.

 

Rachel turned to fetch her phone, which was still in the bathroom where she had left it after her bath. She picked it up just in time and answered as she walked back into the kitchen “Hello?” Her happy smile immediately faded and her eyes got wide “Oh, shoot, what time is it? I am so sorry! I’ll be right there.” She hung up her phone and bolted toward her room like a shot.

 

“What?” Santana shook her head in shock at how quickly things had changed. She followed Rachel toward her room and walked in behind her “Wait, what’s the matter?”

 

“I’m late” Rachel tossed her bathrobe aside, not even thinking about the fact that Santana could see her bare ass from where she stood behind her. She was too busy trying to pull on some clothes. “I was supposed to be at the theater a half hour ago!” She popped on a bra before pulling on jeans and grabbing a shirt. She turned, still only in her bra, and walked right passed Santana and back into the main part of the loft.

 

“Oh damn it” Santana groaned and followed Rachel again. Once she caught her, she was bent over, sliding on her shoes in a fury. “I totally forgot about your show.”

 

Rachel nodded and stood upright once her shoes were on. She finally pulled on her tshirt then moved to the bowl where her keys were held “It’s okay. I will just have to hurry through my vocal warm ups while I’m in make up.”

 

“I’m so sorry” Santana said with a frown as she watched Rachel slide the loft door open. “I distracted you. Just tell them it’s all my fault. Tell them I was having a crisis or I locked you out because I thought it was funny or someth-”

 

Rachel cut Santana off by pressing a quick kiss to her mouth. She smiled at the feel of it because it still felt just as amazing as it had the first time. She let it linger a moment then pulled back and gave her a soft smile “Don’t worry about it. I’ll come straight home tonight and we can, I don’t know, talk again okay?”

 

Santana, a little dumbfounded by the kiss, just gave a dreamy nod. She licked over her lips and drew in the taste of Rachel’s mouth. “Okay” She managed to mumble as she stepped to the door as Rachel stepped into the hallway. She leaned against the door jam and watched Rachel walk away, lifting her hand to give a little wave when Rachel turned back to look at her.

 

“Bye” Rachel returned the wave and gave her a shy smile. Their eyes met and they shared an almost knowing gaze before Rachel forced herself to turn away. Damn it, she did not want to have to leave. She couldn’t wait to get the play over with so she could come back home to Santana. She liked the thought of that. Santana had always been home to her, in a way, but now it felt different. It felt better. It felt more right than anything she had ever felt in her life.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“You kissed?” Emily squeaked from where she sat on the couch next to Santana. After she and Paige had finished dinner she had hurried back to the loft because she had been dying to know what had happened with Santana and Rachel.

 

Santana let out a shy laugh and nodded a few times “We kissed and neither of us were drunk and, actually, Rachel was the one who kissed me.”

 

“Are you serious!?” Emily was beaming with happiness as the details of the story unfolded.

 

Santana shrugged and bit at her bottom lip “She is an amazing kisser.”

 

Emily giggled and grabbed her cousin’s hand. She gave it a happy squeeze and nodded “I knew it. I totally knew you two were perfect for each other! I am so happy you finally pulled your heads outta your butts and did something about it!”

 

Santana rolled her eyes and got up from the couch “Well, I mean, all we did was talk and then kiss. It’s no big deal.”

 

“Of course it’s a big deal. Talking is necessary to figure out what you are both thinking and kissing is totally the best way to figure out what you are feeling.” Emily watched Santana move through the kitchen to get some water.

 

Santana nodded as she filled her glass of water before taking a drink. She thought about it for a moment then slowly turned to look at her cousin “I am actually really nervous for her to come home. Like, it was all well and good in the moment because there was emotions and all this self-realization and shit going on. But what if she has had this time to think about it and she realizes that she really just isn’t that into it?”

 

“That’s ridiculous. You should have seen the way she reacted when she realized that she liked you as more than a friend. She was pacing and nervous and didn’t think you’d ever feel the same. I bet she is ecstatic that you two finally figured it out.”

 

“Wait, you knew?” Santana perked an eyebrow at her cousin.

 

Emily just rolled her eyes and stood up from the couch with a smile “Of course I knew. Someone had to be there to help her figure it out. She wanted to talk to you but since it was her best friend who she was having the feelings for she obviously couldn’t talk to you. So she came to the next best thing. Me!”

 

“You are so not even nearly as awesome as I am” Santana laughed and set down her glass.

 

“Oh whatever. We’re family, you know I have just as much awesomeness pumping through my blood as you do. How do you think I hooked Paige so quickly? I’m irresistible and charming.” Emily puffed out her chest proudly at her words.

 

Santana rolled her eyes and walked over to her cousin. She poked her in the stomach and laughed when she let out a puff of air “Speaking of, where is McCullers?”

 

“She’s at her dorm. I told her I would call her later. She had something to do” Emily shrugged and sat on the arm of the couch now.

 

Santana nodded and moved toward her bedroom. She disappeared for a few moments before coming out again and looking up at Emily almost shyly now. “So I don’t know what’s going to happen when Rachel gets home tonight but, like, do you think it is possible to stay with Paige?”

 

“Ew!” Emily squeaked out and let out a laugh.”Really, Santana? You two barely grew balls enough to admit you liked each other and you are already planning to get dirty with her?”

 

“Okay first of all” Santana lifted her finger “It’s not like we just met so it’s not that dirty.” She lifted her second finger “Next, I said I don’t know what’s going to happen which means I don’t know where her head is. What if she comes in and jumps my bones? You don’t want to be here for that!” She lifted a third finger and tapped all of them against her other palm “Lastly, no, I am not planning to have sex with her tonight. But I think that whatever does happen, which will probably be a lot more talking and hopefully more kissing, should happen with just she and I here alone. Voices carry in this place and if we are trying to have a private conversation I think we would both feel more comfortable if no one else was here.”

 

“I get it” Emily raised her hands in a sort of surrender “I was just teasing. I understand completely and I agree. I think you two should be alone to talk it out.” She reached for her phone from the coffee table and quickly pulled up a text to Paige. After asking if she could crash with her, she gave a shrug and looked back at Santana. “You know, whatever does happen, I am happy for you. I mean just since I’ve been home you haven’t stopped smiling. I see this like, I don’t know, renewed hope in your face. It’s like a weight has been lifted off your chest.”

 

“It has” Santana admitted with a shrug. “God I never realized how much it was affecting me until I actually said it. I always thought I was great at denying the truth and hiding it from everyone else but, apparently not.”

 

“It’s just like coming out” Emily said with a smile. “You feel like you’re about to burst like a bottle of soda that’s been shaken up. But once you get it out it’s like the biggest relief in the world.”

 

“Kind of” Santana agreed. She thought about her entire coming out process and how she had felt better almost instantly. Like a light switch had been flipped and her entire world was brighter.

 

Emily glanced at her phone when it went off. She read the message and giggled softly before nodding and returning the message “Paige said it’s fine.”

 

“What else did she say?” Santana smirked as she watched her cousin giddily reply to the message.

 

Emily rolled her eyes and looked up with a shrug “None of your business.”

 

“Was it dirty?” Santana teased, still smirking.

 

“None of your business!” Emily blushed and turned away from her cousin. She pushed off the couch and headed over to her bags tucked in the corner, busying herself with finding some clothes so she wouldn’t have to look at Santana.

 

“Have you guys....?” Santana hung the question out there as she watched Emily dig through her clothes.

 

“That is also none of your business” Emily mumbled as she stood now with an arm full of clothes. She needed pjs for the night and something to wear the next day. She tossed them on the couch and sat down next to them to fold them so they would fit in her overnight bag easier.

 

“Honestly I’m just curious. I am not going to judge or freak out, I promise” Santana moved to lean against the couch next to her cousin. “Come on, we used to talk about this. You told me when you had sex for the first time.”

 

Emily blushed but smiled slightly. Santana had always been the one she could go to for everything. After finishing the folding and tucking the clothes into her smaller overnight duffle bag, she turned and looked over her shoulder before shaking her head.

 

“No?” Santana seemed genuinely surprised.

 

Emily shrugged and zipped up her bag “Paige is actually really polite and kind of old fashioned. I mean, she wants to and I want to, we have talked about it, but we just haven’t felt that it’s been right yet. It’s weird, I’ve never been around someone like her. She drives me absolutely wild and she’s a fantastic kisser but I never find myself frustrated by that. It’s enough to make out a little and just be held by her all night.” She smiled at the thought of that “I want to, I really do, but at the same time it’s like my body knows there is no need to hurry. It will happen whenever it’s meant to and it will be amazing.”

 

“Gross” Santana deadpanned and got up from the couch. She made her way over to the bathroom and immediately started primping. She did her hair up, then remembered a passing comment about how Rachel liked it down, and undid it. She brushed it out then leaned into the mirror to apply a light coat of makeup. Nothing obvious, just enough to make everything look a little more enticing. Once she was done, she brushed her teeth and sprayed a little perfume on herself. After she checked herself over in the mirror she gave a nod of approval then stepped back into the main part of the loft.

 

“Alright, I’m leaving” Emily said as she slid her shoes on her feet.

 

“Do you need cash for a cab?” Santana asked softly as she padded across the room to the kitchen table where her wallet was.

 

“I’ve got it. Thanks though” Emily moved to Santana and placed a light kiss to her cheek. She pulled back and eyed her cousin curiously before letting out a laugh and moving to the door.

 

“What are you laughing at?” Santana asked with a playful scowl on her face.

 

“You put on make up and perfume and I’d bet my life you just brushed your teeth” Emily pulled the door open then turned back to smirk at her cousin.

 

“Go to Hell” Santana snarled and tossed her wallet at her.

 

Emily squeaked out a laugh as she dodged the incoming assault. She smirked again and sang out “You looooooooove her!”

 

“GET OUT OF HERE” Santana yelled with a laugh as she moved to the door. She tried to kick Emily in the ass but she had already ran off, cackling all the way down the hall. Santana shook her head in amusement before pulling the door closed again. She put her back to the door, drew in a deep breath, glanced around the loft, then let out a heavy sigh. Rachel would be home any moment and Santana suddenly didn’t know what to do with herself. She wanted to look casual when Rachel walked in but not too casual because that would be obvious. She stood there looking around as if the answer would jump out of her. Unfortunately it didn’t so she just slunk over to the couch, dropped onto it, turned on the tv, and decided to wait for Rachel to return.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

She must have drifted off because the next thing she recalled was the sound of the loft door sliding open jerking her out of sleep. Her eyes shot open and she sat up quickly, blinking a few times to focus her eyes toward the door.

 

“I am so sorry!” Rachel’s voice broke through the dim lamplight as she slid the door closed behind her. She turned to lock it before kicking off her shoes “My producer wanted a word with me after the show. Apparently they want me to do some media tour where I go on all the major talk shows to talk about the show and my Tony and all of that. They think it will drive in more ticket sales.” Rachel moved over to the couch and plopped down next to Santana and let out a heavy sigh “It took longer than I expected.”

 

“It’s fine” Santana said with a shrug, trying not to smile when Rachel sat down into the light and her beautiful face could be seen clearly now. “What did you say?”

 

“About what?” Rachel asked softly having been immediately distracted by how cute Santana looked when she just woke up.

 

“The tour” Santana said with a laugh as she lifted the remote to mute the tv.

 

“Oh!” Rachel said with a laugh, nodding at herself in amusement. “Right. Well I actually don’t have a choice, it seems. They’ve already scheduled my appearances with my agent and publicist so...” She shrugged and waved her hand to the side “It’s whatever. It sounds fun and we get to go to California.”

 

“We?” Santana perked an eyebrow slightly.

 

“My team” Rachel said quickly. “Hair, make up, my agent and publicist.” She nodded then reached out to put a hand over Santana’s “And I was kind of hoping you would tag along. Only if you want to, though. Absolutely no pressure.”

 

Santana’s heart skipped a beat when Rachel touched her. It seemed to be a casual touch, a touch she had received a million times from Rachel as a friend, but now it felt different. There was more to it. She smiled and gave a little nod “It sounds fun. When is it?”

 

“Next week. We would be back just in time for the Fourth of July” Rachel’s fingers now curled around Santana’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “Are you sure you want to come?”

 

“Of course” Santana said firmly. “I will just tell the diner I have a commercial to shoot. You know they have that clause that they can’t fire you if you miss work due to getting a gig in the business.”

 

“I am so glad they have that clause” Rachel said with a smile. “It’s smart, too. It can only help improve their staff if they are allowed to perform elsewhere and then return.”

 

“Sure” Santana shook her head with a laugh. Her eyes glanced to where Rachel gripped her hand then back up to her face. She couldn’t help but smile before she let out a breath of a sigh “So how was tonight?”

 

“Good” Rachel nodded quickly. Her eyes flickered with a bit of a sparkle and she blushed slightly “My director said he thought it was my best performance to date.”

 

“Oh yeah? Why was that?” Santana bit her lip to fight another smile.

 

“Oh I don’t know” Rachel playfully mused “He said something about me really feeling the emotions of the play, especially when I had to sing ‘Be With Me Now’. He said he felt like I truly understood the lyrics.”

 

Santana nodded and though she wanted to look away from Rachel to hide the shyness in her eyes, she didn’t. She just stared right into her happy gaze and whispered to her softly “So you still meant everything that you said and did before you left?”

 

Rachel couldn’t nod fast enough “Of course.”

 

Santana licked her lips and though her smile faded her face was still bright with hope “So what does it all mean?”

 

Rachel shrugged and shifted so she faced Santana completely on the couch. She grabbed her other hand and held them both tightly “I think it means that I have feelings for you and you have feelings for me and that we both kind of might want something to come from that?”

 

Santana’s hands returned the tight grip as she drew in a deep breath “Are you sure about this? I mean if you are saying what I think you are saying....” She smiled slightly with a nod “Are you really sure?”

 

“What do you think I’m saying?” Rachel fought a smile. They were both talking in voices barely above a whisper but it was all they needed. The pure silence of the loft made each word almost deafening. 

 

“I think you’re saying that if there are mutual feelings that they should be explored” Santana shrugged casually but her hands still gripped Rachel’s tightly.

 

Rachel gave a single nod at the words “And by explore you mean?”

 

Santana let out a bit of a laugh at that and rolled her eyes “You know what I mean.”

 

“You could mean a lot of things, Santana. Why don’t you just say it.”

 

“I’m scared to” Santana admitted with a tremble in her voice.

 

Rachel frowned and released one of Santana’s hands to lift her own in order to cup at her cheek. She shook her head and cooed very softly “Don’t be afraid, Santana. I want this, too. This is real, it’s happening, and there is no going back. What I felt when I kissed you?” She smiled very slightly and let out a satisfied sigh “It is all I have been able to think about all night. So don’t be afraid to say it. Saying it makes it real. I know that’s a little crazy to think about but as long as we are together we can get through this craziness together.”

 

Santana couldn’t fight her smirk now as she repeated the words she had jokingly said hours before and though there was a bit of a teasing tone to them this time, they held a much more serious meaning “Are you asking me out, Berry?”

 

Rachel let out a single laugh before rolling her eyes “You are such an idiot.”

 

Santana grinned widely, proud of herself for her teasing remark. “You didn’t answer my question” She teased.

 

Rachel crinkled her nose and shook her head in mock annoyance now “You are impossible. Do I really even need to ask?”

 

Santana nodded very seriously at that “I’m a lady. You have to wine and dine me, Berry.”

 

“Oh whatever!” Rachel let out a loud laugh and swatted at Santana’s chest. She giggled for a few moments before tucking some loose hair behind her ear and focusing back on Santana. She let out a happy sigh as her laughter died but her smile remained “Santana Lopez will you do probably the craziest thing either of us will ever do and go out on a date with me?”

 

Santana had to fight the smile that wanted to rip over her features. Her heart was pounding happily in her chest. She had dreamed that maybe on day she would get a shot at her best friend, the girl who had driven her crazy in both good and bad ways for years, but hearing it now was still like she was dreaming. She managed not to scream out though and instead shrugged playfully “I’ll think about it.”

 

“Impossible!” Rachel howled out with laughter again and got up from the couch. She walked away shaking her head in amusement as she headed to her bedroom.

 

“Hey, where you going!?” Santana asked with a laugh.

 

“I changed my mind. I claim temporary insanity due to lack of sleep” Rachel called out playfully behind her as she moved into her room. She immediately pulled off her shirt, popped her bra off, and searched for something comfortable to wear to bed.

 

Santana jumped over the arm of the couch and headed to where Rachel had disappeared “No changing your mind! What is it you said earlier, no take backsies?”

 

“That only applies to liking me. You can’t take back how you feel. I can take back a date invitation, I have the right” Rachel giggled as she pulled an old shirt over her head then ran her hands through her hair. She hated the showers at the theater, they had such hard water that made her hair stiff.

 

Santana rolled her eyes as she stood outside of Rachel’s room. It was out of habit more than anything. When she realized what she was doing, she perked an eyebrow and looked up at the sheet as if trying to look directly at Rachel “Hey, Rach?”

 

“Hmm?” Rachel hummed softly as she leaned over her vanity and applied her nightly face cream.

 

“Do I still have ask permission to come into your room now that we...” Santana shrugged and rubbed at the back of her head slightly.

 

“Now that we what?” Rachel called back with a smirk, her eyes focused at Santana’s light shadow through the sheet.

 

Santana let out a huff of annoyance at Rachel playing dumb “Now that we’ve kissed?”

 

Rachel let out a low laugh and shook her head “No, no, I don’t think that is serious enough to warrant the dropping of boundaries that we have. I mean I kiss my co-star every night and I wouldn’t let him just waltz into my room uninvited.”

 

Santana growled now and punched the sheet playfully “You are infuriating!”

 

“I am just trying to understand why you think you all of the sudden get the privilege of coming into my room whenever you want now” Rachel had turned around now and was staring at the sheet door that Santana stood outside of, her arms folded as she kicked back against her vanity with an amused smirk on her lips.

 

“Nevermind!” Santana called and waved her hand to the side as she turned to leave.

 

“Wait!” Rachel pushed off her vanity and hurried to the door. She pulled the sheet aside just as Santana hit her own sheet door. She looked at her with a shy little smile and nodded her head “You can come in whenever you want but only because you are a really good kisser.”

 

“Oh is that it?” Santana let out a soft chuckle and slowly took a few steps back toward Rachel’s room. She reached out when she was within arms length and scooped her arm around Rachel’s waist. She pulled until their bodies were pressed together before licking at her lips slightly “Are you sure about that?”

 

Rachel bit her lip and tried so hard not to giggle. She put her acting skills to use and batted her eyes as innocently as she could “You know what? I might need a reminder just to make sure.”

 

Santana nodded her head quickly and licked her lips again “That might be for the best. Just to be absolutely certain.”

 

Rachel smiled slowly and lifted her arms up around Santana’s neck. She lifted up on her toes and gently brushed her nose against Santana’s gently “You better be really convincing or I’m calling Jeoff to come over instead.”

 

Santana let out a soft laugh and shook her head as she dipped closer to her “Shut up” She whispered before finally pressing her lips to Rachel’s. She smirked at the thought of Rachel pretending that her co-star was a better kisser than her because as soon as their lips met and she felt that spark like earlier she knew all doubt about that had been erased.

 

Rachel let out a moan as their lips seemed to pick up where they had left off earlier. She smiled into the kiss and lifted onto her toes a bit more to draw herself closer. Her lips parted and immediately her tongue searched for Santana’s.

 

When her tongue met Rachel’s, Santana’s smirked and pressed the kiss deeper. All the fears and doubts she had while Rachel had been gone were melting away as their tongues danced together perfectly. Santana could have died instantly in that moment and been the happiest person to ever die.

 

The kiss lasted a few long minutes before Rachel finally pulled back. She slowly opened her eyes and gave a dreamy smile as Santana’s eyes opened too. She licked her lips and nodded very slightly “Yeah I guess you pass the test.”

 

Santana laughed very softly and touched another quick kiss to her lips before motioning with her head toward Rachel’s bedroom “Can we please go make out in your room now?”

 

Rachel rolled her eyes in amusement at Santana’s eagerness but didn’t hesitate any longer. She turned toward her room and reached back with her hand at the same time to take hold of Santana’s wrist. She led her slowly through the sheet doorway and toward the bed. It was something she had done a hundred times before, letting Santana into her room, but it felt different now. As Santana settled on her bed with a hopeful smirk it felt different. Something had already changed and it was terrifying in the best way possible.

 

Santana settled on the edge of Rachel’s bed and watched the other girl carefully as she stepped away. She seemed to be thinking about something and after a moment of wondering what it was, Santana cleared her throat and asked “What’s on your mind?”

 

Rachel, who was at her vanity again, just shrugged as she leaned over toward the mirror to finish her nightly facial regimen “I was just thinking about how it already feels different.”

 

Santana nodded and leaned back on the bed, propping herself up on her hands behind her as she watched Rachel “I know what you mean. It’s like, obviously, we are still us but we are a new version of us too, if that makes sense.”

 

“Perfect sense” Rachel smiled through her mirror at Santana on her bed. “Like before when you would come into my room and talk to me while I got ready for bed it wouldn’t make me nervous to see you on my bed. Now?” She bit her lip and shrugged a little “I’m definitely nervous.”

 

“Hey, don’t be nervous” Santana pushed off the bed so she was sitting upright again. She smiled over at Rachel and motioned to herself “Nothing that you don’t want to happen has to happen, okay? I mean look at me, I’m still in jeans over here. If I was trying to make something happen I would put up a little more effort than this. I just...” She shrugged and folded her hands into her lap as she crossed her legs on to bed “..I didn’t wanna say goodnight just yet, that’s all.”

 

Rachel nodded and turned around now to face Santana. She eyed her carefully as she drew in a slow breath. She took a few steps toward the bed and slowly exhaled as she did so “I don’t really want to say goodnight just yet, either. I just don’t know where to go from here or how to act. Something has definitely changed and now I am trying to figure out what’s appropriate and what’s not.”

 

“Rach” Santana cooed softly and slid to the edge of the bed. She reached out to take Rachel’s hands and smiled very gently “Nothing is inappropriate here. Nothing has changed so much that you have to be nervous to be yourself. We are best friends first and foremost and if this..” She used one of her hands to motion between them “..whatever that might be, is going to affect our friendship then it’s not worth it to me, okay? Yes, I have feelings for you but I’ve been pretty good at pretending they don’t exist in favor of our friendship and I can do that for the rest of my life if it means nothing changes.”

 

“I can’t” Rachel said with a shake of her head. “I am not good at pretending feelings aren’t there. I am a little ball of emotion and feelings and if I don’t express them I get crazy, you know this.” She smiled when Santana laughed in agreement. She let the laughter die before drawing in another deep breath “I guess I am starting to think about boundaries that I never considered before because of the fact that we were just friends. Like, is it okay to just walk into each others room now? What if I walk in on you naked? Do we sleep together every night now? Can I use your toothbrush if I loose mine?”

 

“Okay, hold up” Santana chuckled very softly and lifted her finger on her free hand to pause Rachel’s ranting. “First of all the only bit of privacy that has ever remained between us has been our separate bedrooms which is a miracle in and of itself considering we don’t even have real walls. So if you want that to remain intact I completely understand that.” She moved her hand now and brushed some hair from Rachel’s eyes “If you walk in on me naked it will make me laugh and you blush and I think that no matter what happens between us that will take a long time to change. It’s actually a miracle we’ve lasted this long without seeing each other naked.”

 

“Except for the other night when you stripped in front of me” Rachel mumbled, rolling her eyes a little bit with a smile.

 

“I like to sleep naked” Santana defended herself with a shrug. “But, hey, if you see me naked again consider it a free peek into what you are missing. Only now you actually are missing it and I’m not just obnoxiously flaunting myself at you to annoy you. So I guess that has changed” She laughed again at herself.

 

“Santana” Rachel groaned and put a hands over her face. The thought of seeing Santana naked now was, well, overwhelming to say the least. She shook her head and peeked through her fingers at Santana “Will you please be serious!”

 

“I am” Santana smiled and lifted her hand to pull at Rachel’s hands until she could pry them from her face. She gripped lightly at her fingers and shrugged her shoulders “Everything we used to do before is still acceptable. I mean, if you think about it, we didn’t ever really have too strict of boundaries. I mean, you came into the bathroom to brush your teeth while I was showering. I know married couples that don’t do that.”

 

“My dads don’t even do that.” Rachel nodded in agreement.

 

“See?” Santana gave a relieved smile at the fact that she seemed to have talked Rachel down. “So don’t act weird, okay? Just do what you have always done. If either of us do something that crosses a line now considering...” She paused and motioned between them with her hands again “...then we deal with it. Other than that, go about your normal daily routine, okay?”

 

Rachel nodded quickly. She moved her hand out of Santana’s grip and gently slid her thumb over her cheek “I was just worried there would be expectations or everything would hold some new connotation.”

 

“The only expectation I have is that you are honest with me, okay?” Santana shrugged slightly. “Tell me how you are feeling. If you need to talk about something don’t hold back because it might be weird because of...” She motioned between them again then sighed “Okay, seriously, what is this?” She motioned again more vigorously “Because my arm is getting a work out doing this.”

 

Rachel laughed and caught Santana’s hand to stop it from moving between them. She lifted it and kissed lightly at her fingers before shrugging and folding her hands around Santana’s tightly “It’s us trying to figure out what it all means, I guess. It’s just....us.”

 

“Us” Santana repeated once before nodding. She liked the sound of that. It wasn’t necessarily definitive but it fit them so well. They had always just kind of been them. She liked the thought of them continuing to be them. “Fine, us.” She smiled then continued her thought from before “If something happens and we both kind of find it weird now because of us then we will figure it out. Until then just carry on.”

 

“Okay” Rachel smiled softly and gave Santana’s hand a squeeze. “I feel better, thank you.”

 

“Of course” Santana grinned happily then slowly slid back from Rachel and took her place in the middle of the bed again. “So can we get into bed now and make out because this day has been exhausting and I’m pooped.”

 

“Not yet” Rachel laughed before turning to her vanity once more. She pulled out a few of her make up removing wipes then turned toward her closet. She dug out one of her larger shirts and returned to the side of the bed. “Here” She handed Santana the items and folded her arms.

 

Santana eyed the wipes curiously before looking up at Rachel “What are these for?”

 

“Please” Rachel rolled her eyes with a laugh before snatching one of the wipes back. She put a knee on the bed next to Santana’s legs and leaned toward her face “The first thing you do after work is take off your makeup unless you have plans later in the day. I know for a fact that you’ve been home since getting off which means the makeup you’re wearing was reapplied later.” She smirked as her fingers gently worked the wipe over Santana’s face “I am completely flattered, by the way, that you would put makeup on for me.”

 

“I didn’t” Santana huffed as her eyes shifted to avoid making direct eye contact with Rachel. “It was left over from work.”

 

Rachel smirked slightly as she continued to remove the makeup from Santana. She just nodded and concentrated on what she was doing “Okay if you say so.”

 

Santana blushed but it went unnoticed because her cheeks were a bit red from the vigorous rubbing that was required to remove her foundation. “Do you really use my toothbrush?”

 

“What?” Rachel laughed at the sudden change of topic.

 

“When you were freaking about what was still acceptable to do you mentioned using my toothbrush. Please tell me you’ve never used it.”

 

Rachel shook her head and backed up from Santana. She got to her feet and moved to toss the dirty wipe into her trash can before giving the girl a smile “Of course I’ve never used your toothbrush. Your deodorant, yes. Never your toothbrush. A toothbrush is a sacred item to never be shared with anyone.”

 

“Oh thank god” Santana sighed in relief and let out a laugh as she shifted on the bed to grab the shirt Rachel had brought her now. “I was about to say that even if we were married for a hundred years that is still super gross.”

 

“Trust me, you don’t have to worry” Rachel waved it off and moved to click on the lamp near her bed. She then flipped off the overhead lights then moved back to the bed, sitting on the edge as Santana changed into the shirt.

 

Santana tossed her old shirt away and pulled on the new one before she popped her bra off and slipped it through the arm holes. She laid back and undid her jeans before starting to wiggle a bit to get them off over her hips until she could kick them to the floor. Once she was finally comfortable, she rolled to her side and propped her head up on her arm before reaching her hand out to Rachel “Now get over here and cuddle me.”

 

Rachel couldn’t help the dreamy smile that took over her face at that. It wasn’t the first time Santana had wanted to cuddle her but now it felt different. A good different. She crawled up next to her on the bed and just like Santana did, laid on her side and propped her head up on her arm. She bit at her lower lip and gently reached out to slide her fingers over Santana’s side “I’m nervous again all of the sudden.”

 

“Don’t be” Santana shook her head against her hand before reaching with her other to scoop it around Rachel’s waist. She pulled the smaller girl until they were chest to chest, hip to hip, and their legs could tangle. “All I want to do is cuddle.”

 

“What about kiss?” Rachel fake pouted and batted her eyes quickly.

 

Santana let out a laugh and shrugged her shoulders “Well if you insist.”

 

Rachel nodded quickly as her leg slid between Santana’s and looped behind her knee, pulling her closer “It’s the rules. If you stay in my bed you have to kiss me.”

 

“Is this a new rule because I definitely recall about five hundred nights of crashing in your bed after a movie and no lip action was required” Santana smirked as her tongue ran over her lips.

 

“I was just being nice. I fully intend on collecting now, though. And trust me, I am charging interest” Rachel wiggled her eyebrows then leaned in to lightly place a kiss on Santana’s mouth.

 

“Mmm, I should have crashed here way more often” Santana mumbled with a laugh against the kiss. The laugh faded quickly though as the kiss grew deeper. Her hand moved along Rachel’s side gently as her lips parted and her tongue once more found Rachel’s. Soon the girls were completely consumed by the kiss, both of them more than happy to spend the rest of the night just like this.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	14. Travel plans and partying

A smile lifted on Santana’s lips as she started to wake up. The images of the previous day came flooding back to her. It was like a dream. But as her eyes opened and she looked down at her chest she realized it was more than a dream. It was really happening. She was in bed with Rachel, the girl was laying on her chest sound asleep, and neither of them had run for the hills. It was like waking up on the first day of a fresh start. Everything felt new and hopeful and exciting.

 

She drew in a deep breath, let out a yawn, then pulled her arm around Rachel tightly. She couldn’t believe that she was waking up in Rachel’s bed, holding Rachel, and not at all terrified that Rachel would wake up and freak out. In fact, she was excited for Rachel to wake up just to reiterate the reality of everything that had happened.

 

“Rachel” Santana whispered, poking at her side very softly. “Raaaacchheeelll” She sang a little louder, trying to ease her awake but also make sure to actually wake her and not just disturb her. She smiled and touched a kiss to the top of her head and gave her a tight squeeze “Rachel wake up.”

 

Just as she feared, Rachel didn’t wake up. She stirred and rolled off of Santana to the other side of the bed. Once she pulled the blanket up over her shoulder, she settled on her pillow and was out again completely. Santana let out a laugh and sat up now that Rachel wasn’t laying on her “And people think I’m a heavy sleeper.”

 

Santana yawned and stretched her arms over her head as she slid to the edge of the bed. She glanced over her shoulder at Rachel and a smile moved over her lips. She couldn’t remember the last time she was this happy. Standing up from the bed, she made her way quietly out of the room and into the kitchen. There was one fool proof way to get Rachel out of bed: Coffee.

 

It didn’t take long for Rachel to stumble out of bed once the pot had started to brew. Santana stood leaned against the counter, their mugs in her hands, waiting for the coffee to finish. When Rachel rounded the corner into the kitchen, Santana nodded proudly to herself and grabbed the handle of the pot “Good morning, sunshine.”

 

Rachel, still half asleep, rubbed at her eye and smiled very softly “Morning. I didn’t feel you get out of bed.”

 

“That doesn’t surprise me. You could have slept through world war four with how you were out” Santana laughed very softly and filled their mugs. She slid Rachel’s over to her before setting the sugar and cream next to it as well. She then took a sip from her own mug and moved over to the table to sit down. She watched Rachel fumble with making her coffee before letting out a laugh and sipping her coffee again “How did you sleep?”

 

“Amazingly” Rachel said with a nod. She finally brought the coffee to her lips and took a long sip. Her eyes closed and she let out a long happy sigh as the warm liquid filled her stomach. “Oh my god” She moaned softly and sipped again. This was the best coffee she had ever tasted, she was sure of it.

 

Santana had paused mid sip and was now staring at the way Rachel was enjoying herself. The happy noises and little moans were, well, a little distracting. Her mind definitely wondered to somewhere unclean. “Good coffee?” She managed to mumble over the top of her mug.

 

Rachel let out a happy sigh and nodded as her eyes opened. She looked over at Santana and smiled weakly before moving to the table to sit next to Santana. She put her hand on Santana’s knee and leaned into kiss at her lips very lightly. When she pulled back and met Santana’s eyes, her smile grew slowly “Thank you.”

 

“No problem” Santana was grinning widely when Rachel pulled back. She stared at her for a few moments as the two of them enjoyed a few more sips. Setting down her mug, she cleared her throat and leaned into Rachel again “You know what? I really wanted to kiss you good morning in bed but you were dead to the world so I think you should give me another kiss to make up for it.”

 

Rachel giggled very softly and set her mug on the table as well. She half smiled and moved closer. The two of them sat knee to knee. She leaned forward and put both hands on Santana’s upper thighs to support her weight as she leaned in “I guess since you had your heart set on it I could oblige.”

 

Santana smirked and nodded just once. She leaned forward to close the small gap between herself and Rachel, her eyes never once leaving her “I should probably charge interest for that, too. I had to wait an entire five minutes for you to get up.”

 

Rachel rolled her eyes and gave her shoulders a shrug “Now you’re copying me by charging interest.”

 

“It was a brilliant idea” Santana laughed as her forehead touched Rachel’s. Her eyes finally flickered away from her gaze and to her lips. She licked at her own lips as the space between them closed slowly. She wasn’t sure she had ever wanted a kiss as badly as she wanted this one.

 

With their lips just a breath away both of them closed their eyes in anticipation. Right before the kiss, though, the loft door was thrown open. Both girls nearly jumped out of their skin and pushed back from each other in surprise. The motion caused Santana’s chair to rock back and she couldn’t catch herself quick enough. She fell backwards with a loud thud.

 

“Oh my god” Rachel gasped, slapping a hand over her mouth. She fought the urge to laugh as she stared at Santana sprawled out on the floor, the shirt she had worn to bed tangled up around her torso.

 

“Are you alright?” Emily, who had just come into the loft, rushed over to her cousin and started lifting her off the floor. 

 

“Fine” Santana grunted and sat up slowly. She winced and pulled her shirt down over her stomach and hips. She was going to be bruised for sure tomorrow.

 

“What happened?” Paige asked from behind Emily. She held a bag of bagels from the bakery on the corner. 

 

“I was being an idiot” Santana mumbled and crawled to her feet. She grunted and reached behind herself, touching at her ass where all of her weight had landed. “I was goofing off in the chair and pushed off a little too much.”

 

Rachel bit at her bottom lip and looked down at her hands. She was torn between laughing and defending her. 

 

Emily glanced between her cousin and Rachel and back again. She licked at her lips then settled down at the table with a smile “So how are things?”

 

“What do you mean?” Rachel said a little too quickly. She looked up at Emily with wide eyes, looking way too guilty.

 

Paige perked an eyebrow at the response as she set the bag of bagels on the table. “Are you alright there, Rach?”

 

“Fine” Rachel squeaked then cleared her throat. She shook her head and picked up her coffee. She sipped it and put a forced smile on her face “Just fine. What do you have there? Bagels?”

 

Paige nodded and looked over at Emily who was watching Rachel’s peculiar behavior. The girls exchanged a smirk then Emily looked at her cousin. Santana was staring in horror at the way Rachel was acting. Emily laughed to herself then reached for the bag of bagels “So what are you girls up to this morning?”

 

“Nothing!” Both girls said at the same time which caused Paige and Emily to exchange another curious look.

 

Santana rolled her eyes and got up from the table and moved over to the sink. She rinsed out her mug then turned around and leaned back against the counter. She folded her arms and looked at the girls sitting at the table. Her eyes lingered on Rachel for a moment before she looked at her cousin with a sigh “So Rachel and I have some news.”

 

“We do?” Rachel’s eyes went wide again. She hadn’t thought they were going to tell anyone. They definitely hadn’t discussed it. They kind of didn’t even have a definite thing to tell, right?

 

Santana smiled and looked at Emily with a nod “So Rachel is going on a media tour for a week and I am going with her. So we are going to be gone for a week.”

 

“What?” Emily’s eyes widened in surprise now. She didn’t expect this to be the news. She looked over at Rachel and smiled “A media tour? For what?”

 

Rachel was internally sighing in relief at the news Santana shared. She glanced at Santana with a smile before nodding and looking back to Emily and Paige across the table “Since I won my Tony I have been in demand. They want me to go on a media tour to promote the show. They are trying to get another six months out of it, at least.”

 

“So what does this mean?” Paige asked softly as she pulled apart her bagel.

 

“A lot of talk shows, some radio shows, and other appearances like that. We are going to be in California for most of it. I think we finish up here in New York the last two days of the tour so technically it’s not a tour but, still” Rachel shrugged and took a sip of coffee.

 

“That is pretty awesome” Paige smiled then took a bite from her bagel.

 

Emily nodded in agreement and glanced from Rachel to Santana “So how come you get to go? You have nothing to do with the show.”

 

“I’m going for...” Santana motioned to Rachel and shrugged “I don’t know, support!”

 

“Technically she is part of my team” Rachel corrected her. When Santana looked a little confused, Rachel laughed softly “I didn’t get to tell you last night but in order to have the show pay for your travel expenses I had to put you on the payroll. It’s no big deal. I put you down as my public image consultant which sounds ridiculous but it’s an actual job.”

 

“I have to work on this trip?” Santana curled her lip up then rolled her eyes “What do I have to do?”

 

“Nothing” Rachel said with a laugh. “It’s a real job but I don’t need one. Usually the consultant approves a celebrity’s look before they step into the public. You know, make sure the hair is good, the make up isn’t too much, the outfit works and isn’t showing too much skin.”

 

“That’s a job?” Santana asked with an amazed laugh. “Shit I could totally do that. How much does it pay?”

 

“Well, technically, I don’t really have one so I don’t know. I just put you down as part of my team so you could come with. But don’t worry you don’t have to do any of that. You just get to sit around and watch me work.”

 

“So who is going to approve your look? I mean you are going to be on t.v. so you need to look good.” Santana shrugged seriously.

 

“I’m going to approve my look” Rachel scoffed, looking slightly offended at the indication that she needed help with her look.

 

Santana arched a single eyebrow and playfully smirked “Well if you think you can handle it...”

 

“Oh shut up” Rachel rolled her eyes and got up from the table. She walked over to the sink where Santana stood and rinsed out her cup, her eyes traveling the length of Santana’s body just once before meeting her gaze with amusement on her face. “I think I got it under control. Besides, whether you were paid to approve my look or not, I have no doubt you’d do so anyway. We all know your opinion only looks tiny compared to your mouth, so...”

 

Santana gasped in fake hurt and shock. Emily and Paige exchanged a look and stifled a laugh. “I have to admit” Paige said softly to break the playful stare down that Rachel and Santana had engaged in “Coming here to watch you two bicker has become my new favorite thing. You two should totally have a sitcom.”

 

“I know, right?” Both Santana and Rachel looked at Paige and spoke at the same time. They smirked and looked at each other, fighting off little smiles of amusement at their response. Finally Santana rolled her eyes and pushed Rachel’s face away playfully before walking passed her and toward her room “People would watch the shit out of a show about us.”

 

Rachel just watched Santana disappear around the corner of the kitchen and presumably into her room. She shook her head in complete amusement before looking at the other girls with a grin “So anyway, while we’re gone, you will be entrusted to watch the loft Emily. Now I know the temptation to throw a party while unsupervised will be large so I am not going to say you can’t. I am, however, going to ask that you keep it at a respectable size and clean up afterwards.”

 

“Uh, Rachel?” Emily laughed as she got up from the table too, moving to the fridge to get some milk “Exactly who would I invite to this party?”

 

Rachel opened her mouth to answer then stopped before she sounded stupid. She had gotten so used to Emily being around already that she had forgotten that Emily did not really live here and Paige was the only person outside Santana and herself that Emily actually knew. She just nodded at her silence and offered a smile “In that case, forget what I said.”

 

Paige smirked slightly and reached out to take the glass of milk that Emily had poured for her during Rachel’s moment. She took a sip then looked back at Rachel “Actually, we are having a party for the swim girls on our team. The new girls are coming in for an introduction weekend and the older girls are supposed to, you know, mingle and make them feel welcome. We were supposed to hold it at a hotel, you know, like in a conference room. I can see about changing the venue?” She glanced at Emily for a moment then back to Rachel before adding “If that’s okay with you. Most of them are under curfew for their visit so they wouldn’t be here too late anyway.”

 

“That sounds completely acceptable. I assume the coach will be chaperoning since it is a team function?” Rachel eyed Paige carefully.

 

Paige nodded quickly “Of course! School rules and all that.” She smiled a little too widely like she did when she lied but luckily Rachel didn’t know that about her.

 

“Well then” Rachel nodded and started toward her room, pausing at the corner to look back at the girls “I approve.”

 

“Approve of what?” Santana, who had gathered some clothes for the day in her arms and was heading to the bathroom asked when she nearly plowed into Rachel standing right in the middle of the small hallway between the kitchen and their rooms. She looked over Rachel standing there and couldn’t help herself “Hopefully not that outfit? Because that is proof you need a public image consultant.”

 

“Har har” Rachel curled her lip in mock annoyance before casting a quick smile at Santana then shaking her head “No. Paige’s swim team is going to have a party here while we are gone. Chaperoned by the coach and the younger girls have curfews so I said that would be fine.”

 

“Sounds lame” Santana put on a fake happy smile then laughed. She bit her bottom lip as she and Rachel stole a little longing glance before Santana looked away and moved around her toward the bathroom.

 

Rachel had to hide a smile herself as she moved to her room to start getting ready for the day as well. She didn’t know it would be so hard to not kiss Santana all morning. She couldn’t wait until they were alone again. For some reason, all the teasing and poking fun they had done had made her want to kiss Santana more than anything.

 

Santana waited until Rachel was gone to turn away from the bathroom and smirk at the girls in the kitchen “Remind me to get you the number to my keg guy. He’s legit and doesn’t I.D.”

 

Emily laughed softly and nodded her head. “Thanks San.” She watched her cousin turn to the bathroom again before standing up and reaching out to touch her arm to stop her. When Santana turned around curiously, Emily glanced behind her toward Rachel’s room then whispered softly “Hey, what happened with everything yesterday?”

 

Santana fought a smile and glanced toward Rachel’s room before looking at her cousin with a shrug “I will tell you later.” With that, she turned and headed to the bathroom to shower. She couldn’t stop smiling. She couldn’t wait until she and Rachel were alone again because she really, really wanted to kiss her.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“And you have both mine and Santana’s numbers just in case anything goes wrong?” Rachel was checking off the list she had been working on the last few days in preparation for her trip.

 

“Yes” Emily said with a serious nod even though she really wanted to roll her eyes. From the moment they had told her about their trip, Rachel had been constantly annoying Emily with questions about her record in regards to responsibility. She asked if she had ever been CPR certified. She even asked for references to make sure she was capable of housing sitting for a week. Luckily Santana had talked her down by giving her the Lopez promise. 

 

Rachel nodded and after checking off that item moved to the next she had written down “No one you don’t know is allowed in the loft. The only exception, of course, are the girls from Paige’s swim team who, I assume, Paige will know.”

 

“Of course” Paige said with a quick nod. Truthfully, she didn’t know any of them. But she didn’t need a lecture from Rachel and have her change her mind about letting them have the party there so she just nodded and smiled.

 

“Kurt may stop by during the week to check on things. He is allowed in the loft” Rachel checked something off her list again.

 

“Kurt was one of the boys at the party you threw when Santana got that commercial, right?”

 

“The one that dresses like Mary Poppins if Mary Poppins were told as the story of a gay leprechaun. Yes.” Santana mumbled around the coffee she was drinking. They had an early flight to California and Rachel had insisted they get up extra early to run through the check list to make sure they had everything. So she sat there, half awake, half listening, and hoping she could sleep on the plane or she wasn’t going to be pleasant when they got to California.

 

Rachel glanced at Santana at her description of Kurt and shook her head before looking back at Emily and Paige “None of your friends are allowed in our rooms. Emily, of course, you are welcome to sleep in either of our beds so you don’t have to sleep on the couch.”

 

“She didn’t mention Paige. That’s code for no humping in her bed” Santana smirked at herself thinking she was hilarious.

 

“That is not what I meant!” Rachel snapped and threw a glare at Santana.

 

Emily blushed. Paige’s eyes went wide then turned away slowly to hide the shy look on her face. “Well we weren’t planning on...” Emily cleared her throat and shook her head.

 

“I didn’t think you were” Rachel said with a shake of her head. She looked at Santana and snatched the mug of coffee from her hands. She scowled at her and whispered not-so-quietly “Could you be serious for five seconds so we can get going? I do not want to be late to the airport.”

 

“Our flight leaves in three hours, Rachel. We literally live ten minutes away. I could be sleeping right now for at least another hour. But some hyperactive freak of nature dragged me out of bed for no other reason than to go over a list of every detail of how she was going to boss me, and my cousin, around for the next week. I am sorry I am not all bright and bubbly at the moment!”

 

Rachel’s jaw dropped as she gasped. She stared at Santana in disbelief for a few long moments before she slammed the coffee on the table and finally folded her arms across her chest and pulled her face into a stern glare. “I’m sorry, Santana. Perhaps you would prefer to stay here, then? I have absolutely no problem going on this trip all by myself. In fact, it might be nice to get away from you and your infuriatingly annoying need to be right about everything all the time even when you are so far from right. But, you know what? Thank you” She turned and stormed over to where Santana’s luggage was set near the door. She grabbed Santana’s plane ticket, lifted it into her hands, and held it as if she were about to rip it.

 

“Rachel, come on” Santana stood quickly and reached out to stop her even though she was across the room from her and couldn’t physically stop her.

 

“No, you’re right. I’m bossy and hyperactive and a freak. So how about instead of joining me, you stay here and we both get a vacation from each other.” Rachel lifted a challenging eyebrow and twisted the ticket in her hand.

 

“Don’t!” Santana moved so quickly around the table she nearly tripped over herself. She reached Rachel and put her hands over the ticket so it couldn’t be ripped. Her eyes met Rachel’s and she gave a silent pleading frown. “I’m sorry” She whispered sincerely and let out a sigh “I’m cranky in the morning, you know this. I want to go. You know I want to go with you. Please, Rachel. I’m sorry.”

 

Rachel hated when Santana looked at her like that. It was that damn wounded puppy look that not even the great Santana Lopez could fake. It was how she knew Santana was being sincere and she hated that it made her melt. She let out a frustrated sigh and rolled her eyes before letting go of the ticket and letting Santana take it from her. “You don’t have to be such a jerk.”

 

“I’m sorry” Santana nodded and set the ticket back down on her bag. She pouted out her bottom lip as she reached to take Rachel’s hands in hers. She gave them both a squeeze then started to swing them back and forth as her pout turned into a slight smile. “I promise to be a peach for the rest of the trip. Starting now.”

 

“Stop” Rachel said with a laugh and pushed her away playfully. “I just have a few more items on my list before we leave for the airport.”

 

Paige fought a laugh and motioned her hand like she was cracking a whip. She mimicked the sound of a whip as she stared at Rachel with an amused smirk “You softie.”

 

“Shut up” Rachel said with a roll of her eyes. She moved back over to her list and picked it up to resume laying down the last few guidelines for Emily and Paige to follow. They got through them without anymore interruptions and soon Rachel and Santana were on their way.

 

“Be good, kid” Santana said with a smile as she wrapped an arm around Emily to hug her lightly. When she pulled back, she glanced over her shoulder to see Rachel’s back to her, counting their bags to make sure they had them all. She smirked and turned back to Emily, holding up a small business card for her to take. “Keg guy. There’s money in my top drawer for it. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, alright?”

 

Emily nodded and quickly tucked the card away before giving a little wave “See you in a week. Travel safe. Take lots of pictures.”

 

Santana gave her cousin a wink before grabbing a hold of her bag and moving behind Rachel into the hallway. She was excited for the trip, of course, but she was also excited for Emily. She was going to throw her first real party without any adults present. If she didn’t have some awesome stories for her when she returned, she would be completely disappointed.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Rachel stood on the balcony over looking the busy Los Angeles streets below. She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly as a smile came over her face. “It’s so beautiful here.”

 

“No, I don’t need help. Thanks for the offer though” Santana said with a grunt as she stumbled into the hotel room with all of the bags in her arms. She was two feet into the room before she dropped everything and let out a heavy sigh. Her eyes lifted and she looked across the room to where Rachel was standing and couldn’t help the smile. She was tired and cranky but the way the light was shining around Rachel made her look angelic and that was enough to put a smile on her face.

 

“You know they have people for that” Rachel said with a laugh as she turned around in time to catch Santana unloading her arms.

 

“Wow we are here for five minutes and you are already so Hollywood” Santana smirked and pushed the door closed with her foot. “I know they have people for that but why pay someone when I have the capability to do it myself?”

 

“You wouldn’t be the one paying” Rachel rolled her eyes in amusement and stepped back inside from the balcony. She moved over to Santana, reaching out to gently slide her hand along her arm. “Everything is on the show, San. Well, outside any extra activities or shopping we do. But hotels, tips, food, transportation. It’s all paid for so will you relax a little and start enjoying this?”

 

“Start enjoying it?” Santana perked an eyebrow and stepped closer to Rachel. She reached out and put a hand on Rachel’s hip gently “It’s barely begun. I think I am still adjusting to being up this early. Maybe after a nap and some breakfast I will be as bright eyed and ready to take on the world as you are.”

 

“You don’t have time for a nap if you are going to come with me” Rachel pouted a little bit as her hands lifted and she slid her arms around Santana’s shoulders. She took one more step and the space between them disappeared as their hips and chests came together.

 

“What?” Santana whined out softly, her eyes closing, and her head falling back. Both hands linked around the back of Rachel’s waist and she gave a little tug to her body. “But I am so tired.”

 

“San, hair and makeup are going to be here in a half hour. I have to visit four radio stations before dinner then I have the late show after that. There is going to be down time between interviews but no real free time until later tonight.” Rachel’s fingers played in the little hairs at the base of Santana’s neck as she spoke.

 

Santana let out a throaty grunt and rolled her head forward to look down at Rachel. “I hate my life so much right now. I barely slept last night because someone” She poked at Rachel’s side playfully “tossed and turned all night. Then that same someone” She poked her again, this time smirking slightly “woke me up at an ungodly hour. And then someone” She now wiggled her fingers against Rachel’s sides lightly “was too nervous on the plane to let me nap. So, really, this is all your fault.”

 

“Stop” Rachel’s eyes went wide and she tried to wiggle out of Santana’s grip. It didn’t work initially because Santana just started to tickle her harder. This made Rachel yell out and move her hands to Santana’s chest “Santana, I swear to Barbra if you tickle me whatever we might have going on is over and-” She laughed out loudly as Santana’s fingers dug in deeper and really started to tease her nerves on her sides.

 

As Rachel started to fight for freedom, Santana just tickled her harder. With every half whine, half cackle from Rachel, she found herself starting to laugh more and more. Rachel pushed and pounded at her chest but she managed to keep her grip on the smaller girl. “This is what you get for depriving me of sleep! Say you’re sorry!”

 

“I’m not sorry!” Rachel howled through laughter. She was fighting for her life now as tears started to take over her eyes and her breathing got heavy. She turned her hips back and forth and somehow managed to free herself from Santana. Realizing she was free, she took off in a run “Stay away from me!”

 

“Get back here you little freak of nature” Santana called after her with a laugh and gave chase. Soon the girls were squealing and running around the larger than necessary hotel room. Rachel jumped and dodged behind the couch, chair, and over the bed in the suite. It wasn’t until her foot clipped the edge of the mattress in her attempt to jump off it that the chase came to an end and she tumbled forward onto the floor with a thump.

 

“Shit!” Santana went wide eyed as she hurried over the bed and over to where Rachel had landed. She knelt beside her on the floor and put a hand on her back lightly, leaning over her and speaking softly “Rach, are you alright?”

 

Rachel rolled over to her back with a soft grunt. She blinked her eyes a few times and when they focused on Santana and the worry on her face, she started to laugh. “Oh my god” She giggled as she sat up and lifted a hand to Santana’s face. “I think this might be one of the only times I’ve seen you genuinely terrified.”

 

Santana frowned and swatted at Rachel’s arm playfully “Oh shut up. You’re tiny and you could have broken yourself and then where would I be? I’d have to save your ass and do all the interviews and I am not sure I could be America’s Sweetheart Rachel Berry. I’d be banned from radio within five minutes and then what? You’d be out of a job and I’d have to carry the financial load and I just don’t like working at the diner that much.”

 

Rachel laughed softly at Santana’s back pedaling. She shook her head and pulled herself up a little bit more to bring her face to Santana’s. She placed a soft kiss to her lips then settled back on her other arm that was propping her up “You care about me. How sweet.”

 

“Ew gross, no I don’t” Santana’s lip curled up in fake disgust. Of course both girls knew that the other cared about them. They were, after all, best friends. Now with the new confessions of feelings for each other it was obvious they cared for one another. But that didn’t stop either of them from slipping into playful banter about not caring. “I was just worried about your career because how else am I supposed to get you the Hell out of my house? You have to move out and into your nice penthouse apartment one day.”

 

“Ah I see so it was totally selfish” Rachel fought a smirk and gave a nod of understanding. “I guess now that you brought it up it’s a good time to tell you I’m having my stuff moved out while we’re here so I can move to my fancy place when we get back.”

 

“You’re not taking the fridge, are you?” Santana asked while fighting off a laugh.

 

Rachel rolled her eyes in mock exasperation and shook her head “Fine! You can have it. But don’t expect a Christmas present for like ten years.”

 

Santana shrugged and got to her feet now that she knew Rachel was alright “I plan on forgetting all about you once you’re gone anyway.” She reached her hand down and helped Rachel get to her feet. She pulled Rachel into her arms and leaned down to touch the lightest kiss to her forehead. “So hey?” She whispered even though there was no one else in the room. When Rachel lifted a questioning eyebrow, Santana smirked and motioned her head to the bed right behind her “You said hair and makeup will be here in a half hour?”

 

Rachel nodded slowly, smirking just slightly because she was pretty sure she knew what Santana was getting at. “About, yes. You did shave some time off of that when you insisted on tickling me then chasing me around the room.”

 

Santana laughed at how literal Rachel was about the time but didn’t comment on it. Instead she gave a little pull against Rachel’s smaller frame as her own dropped back onto the bed. The two of them bounced together a few times before stilling with Santana on her back and Rachel on top of her. She gave her eyebrows a little wiggle before licking her lips “You know a really sure fire way to kill some time?”

 

Rachel put on her best innocent face and just shook her head slowly “Read?”

 

Santana growled playfully and poked Rachel’s side playfully “Well if you’d rather...”

 

Rachel gasped then quickly lifted her hands to grab Santana’s face. She leaned up and touched a few light kisses to her lips before letting out a little giggle “No, no, I want to do what you had in mind.”

 

Santana smirked and lifted her head to press a kiss to Rachel’s mouth in return “Yeah I thought so.” Her hand slid down Rachel’s back and came to rest in the little dip of her back just above her ass. She touched a few more kisses to Rachel’s mouth, letting each one linger longer than the one before. After a few long moments of sharing kisses, Santana settled her head against the mattress. She lifted the hand not on Rachel’s back and pushed her fingers through the hair that was hanging around her face, tucking it back behind her ear. She gave her a dreamy little smile as she took in the simple beauty that was Rachel Berry.

 

The way Santana was looking at her made Rachel’s breath catch in her throat. She swallowed softly before a matching dreamy smile took over her lips “What are you looking at?”

 

Santana just shrugged as her fingers slid through Rachel’s hair and down her cheek. “I don’t know. I mean, I do know, I was looking at you. I mean it’s like I’ve seen you a thousand times in my life but now it’s different. I’m seeing you like you’re a brand new person or something. It’s like ever since our conversation it’s been...” She just shook her head and let out a happy sigh “...I don’t know. I feel different. Good different.”

 

“I think the word you might be looking for is happy?” Rachel said with a soft laugh. She leaned in to kiss Santana once more then shifted so she was laying now beside Santana rather than on top of her. She propped herself up on her elbow and let her other hand slide lightly over Santana’s stomach. “I feel it too, though. It’s almost like this iron curtain had been covering us and now it’s been lifted and we are living a lighter life. No more tension or second guessing or nervousness about what the other is thinking or feeling.”

 

“Maybe” Santana said with a bit of a nod. “I guess it’s like when it’s raining and your windshield gets all covered in water and you can’t really see until the wiper swishes everything away and it all becomes clearer. I think realizing my feelings for you was like a wiper. But I was still living in a storm until you kissed me” She smiled and let her hand move to lay over Rachel’s that was against her stomach. “I was so scared of never being happy because the one person I wanted most was probably the last person in the world that could ever want me.”

 

“Obviously that was wrong” Rachel said with a roll of her eyes but maintained a smile. “Did I expect I’d ever like a girl? No. But did I think falling for my best friend was in the realm of possibility? Yes. Because on some level I love all of my friends. They are amazing people who possess qualities that I admire so it’s not completely out there for me. So when I realized I had feelings for you it didn’t freak me out because you are a girl, it was because it was you and I was scared I’d lose you. I never thought you, of all people, could feel the same about me.”

 

Santana smiled as her fingers laced through Rachel’s against her stomach. She gave her hand a squeeze before sliding her arm around her waist now and pulling until their bodies were pressed tightly together. “So neither of us thought the other could ever like us and yet, here we are.” She laughed very softly “And now look at us. We are...” She shrugged and perked an eyebrow at Rachel “....What are we doing here, Rach?”

 

“Well” Rachel shrugged and looked at where her and Santana’s hands were tangled together. She smiled and gave it a soft squeeze before slowly lifting her gaze back up to find Santana who was watching her curiously. “I like you and you like me, right?”

 

Santana nodded “We’ve established that.”

 

Rachel rolled her eyes but continued “I really like kissing you and I’m assuming since you have yet to object that you really like kissing me, too.”

 

Santana bit her bottom lip and nodded again. She wanted to make a joke but at the same time this was serious and she didn’t want them getting side tracked into jokes and banter.

 

“And I am going to take a shot in the dark here and say that you like the idea of being with me just like I like the idea of being with you?” Rachel spoke more cautiously now so as not to seem as if she was pushing Santana.

 

Santana nodded very slowly as a smile spread over her lips. Her urge to joke again rose and this time won out “Well, I mean, until someone better comes along...”

 

Rachel gasped and took her hand out of Santana’s to swat at her chest. She laughed out softly and gave her head a shake “Santana, please, be serious here!”

 

“Okay! Fine, fine, I’m serious Santana. Like Suddenly Seymour but not as lame.” Santana gave a serious nod “And now I fully expect you to start singing, I shouldn’t have said that.”

 

Rachel bit at her lower lip and shrugged “Maybe later. I need a moment to think of some lyrics to turn it into Serious Santana.”

 

“I look forward to it” Santana laughed and reached for Rachel’s hand again. She gripped it gently and lifted it to her mouth, kissing at her knuckles lightly “Now, continue.”

 

“As I was saying” Rachel laughed softly as her eyes watched Santana kiss at her knuckles. “If you want to be with me like I want to be with you than why don’t we just do that?”

 

Santana fought a smile and bit at her lower lip. Her heart was thundering in her chest so hard she thought it might burst through her ribs. She never thought this was a conversation she would ever have with Rachel outside her dreams. She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly to help her gain some composure before she spoke “Rachel Berry, are you asking me out?”

 

Rachel couldn’t help but laugh out at that. It was funny that just about a week ago Santana had made that joke and that had been the furthest thing from her mind but now, well, now it was exactly what she was thinking. She nodded her head a little and gave Santana’s hand a squeeze where it was being held “I was actually more suggesting we date rather than asking you to do so but, yes. Santana Lopez, do you want to go out with me?”

 

Santana had to bite back her laughter. She stared at Rachel with amusement for a few moments, waiting until she saw Rachel starting to look impatient, before she shrugged and nodded just once “Yeah I guess.”

 

Rachel growled and pulled her hand out of Santana’s to swat at her chest again “You are cruel. You made me wait on purpose! I can’t believe I wanted to date you. I changed my mind, it’s over!”

 

“Oh, five seconds. Your second longest relationship” Santana laughed out loudly, her body trembling with laughter so hard that the mattress started to bounce under her.

 

“You are infuriating!” Rachel huffed and slid off the bed. She stomped over to their bags and started to push Santana’s back toward the door “Get out of here. You can go sleep on the street!”

 

Santana was still laughing as she sat up and saw Rachel struggling with her bag. She shook her head, slid to the end of the bed, stood up, and went over to Rachel. She slid her arms around her waist from behind tightly, leaning down to kiss at the top of her shoulder before turning her head to speak in her ear “Oh come on, I couldn’t help myself. You are just so easy to get riled up.”

 

Rachel grunted and stopped with the bag only to fold her arms across her chest. She shook her head and turned to look at Santana on her shoulder “Santana, this is serious.”

 

“I know” Santana nodded, her tone soft to show that she was taking it seriously. She gripped Rachel’s hips and pushed them until she turned Rachel to face her. She gave her a soft smile, her hand lifting to slide across her cheek “I am a hundred percent serious about this, okay? But, Rachel, we are best friends first and if I can’t joke with you then it won’t work. Remember when you said you didn’t want anything to change? That includes the way we work together. I joke, you scowl, I push, you give me a lecture about the appropriate time and place to make jokes, and then I joke about that. The only difference now is if we do get into a bickering match we can kiss and make up. Literally.”

 

Rachel smirked and lifted her arms up around Santana’s neck. She gave her a little nod before shrugging just one shoulder “I threw this fit just now to get you to admit you were serious instead of joking around it.”

 

“Rachel Berry did you just work the system?” Santana gasped in surprise then laughed it off “I am rubbing off on you. I am so proud.”

 

“Yeah well you’d think it was about time I picked up some of your tricks after how many years of knowing you?” Rachel lifted on her toes and touched a light kiss to her lips “Now, can we kiss and make up? Because I am looking forward to that the most.”

 

“Only because you stealing my tricks is really kind of adorable.” Santana mumbled as she leaned down and into the kiss. This time when their lips met they didn’t hesitate. The two of them stood in each others arms, their lips tangled in an increasingly passionate kiss. The first real kiss they shared as an official couple. Just the thought of that made Santana’s heart skip a beat. Rachel was right, happy was the exact word to describe what she was feeling.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~. 

 

“Yes, the keg guy came through. Thank you” Emily laughed into the phone that she held between her shoulder and head because her hands were busy at the stove. She was cooking up some snacks for the party that night. Santana and Rachel had only been gone three days but it had felt like a lifetime. She was looking forward to the party because it would give her something to do. Even with Santana working almost every day and Rachel going to the theater each night they really had managed to keep her entertained. Now that they were gone she had been bored. Paige had tried to help occupy her but she swam early and often so Emily had been left to her own devices.

 

“Rachel wants me to ask you if you hid her Tony” Santana said into the phone with a snicker.

 

Emily smiled at that and glanced to the empty spot on the fireplace before looking back at what she was doing on the stove “It is locked in your safe like I promised. Why do you have a safe but Rachel doesn’t?”

 

“Our family is paranoid” Santana shrugged and glanced in the mirror where she was leaned over putting her make up on. They hadn’t left for any of Rachel’s appearances yet that day but they would be soon. Although Rachel got free hair and make up each day, Santana didn’t so she was left applying it herself. She didn’t mind. It wasn’t like she was the one going under the limelight.

 

“That’s true” Emily nodded and turned off the stove. She lifted the pan up and put it on the counter before moving to the fridge to get more ingredients. “Oh, hey, where are you guys today?”

 

“Vancouver. One of the radio affiliates here is attached to one in New York and they are really trying to expand international appeal or something” Santana shrugged and set down her eye liner. “Hold on, Em.” She turned from the mirror and looked at Rachel who had been trying to get her attention through the reflection in the mirror. “Yes, dear?”

 

Rachel smiled at that around the hand that was applying lip gloss “Did she hide my Tony?”

 

“Yes” Santana said with a laugh. “Anything else?”

 

“There isn’t alcohol at the party, is there?” Rachel flinched when she nearly got poked by the curling iron.

 

“No” Santana lied with a shrug “She’s not even old enough, where would she get it?”

 

Rachel thought about it for a moment then shrugged. She totally forgot Emily had a fake I.D. so she smiled in approval “Are you going to tell her about us?”

 

Santana shook her head and smiled softly “I will when we get home. That is a conversation that will take more than five minutes so I’m going to just wait until I can tell her in person.”

 

“Okay. That’s all then. Hurry up, we have to leave soon” Rachel smiled at Santana lovingly before closing her eyes and letting them put on some eye shadow for her.

 

Santana caught Rachel’s look and she felt her heart flutter. She shook her head and turned back to the mirror to finish herself up “Sorry about that. You know how demanding super stars can be.”

 

Emily laughed as she popped a pan into the oven. “Understandable. She just likes to make sure everything is alright. I can’t say I blame her. She knew you in high school and we’re related so I am sure she is dreaming the worse is about to happen.”

 

Santana gasped then let out a playful laugh “Hey I was an angel in high school.”

 

“Says your history of constantly being grounded” Emily teased. Just then there was a knock at the door and Emily turned around with a smile “Okay Paige is here. We are going to go shopping for some last minute things before the party starts. I’ll text you later, okay?”

 

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do” Santana sang into the phone before clicking the button to hang up. She dropped the phone onto the counter then leaned into the mirror to make sure her eyeliner was even. She was excited for her cousin. She kind of wished she could be there with her. Then her eyes caught sight of Rachel pushing the primping hands away from her and she knew there was nowhere else in the world she would rather be.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“Are you having fun?” Paige leaned into Emily’s ear from behind her. The party was in full swing and although neither of them really knew anyone there they had been mingling pretty successfully.

 

Emily turned around to face Paige, smiling up at her with a little nod “I’m actually having a really good time. The girls on your team are really sweet.”

 

“Most of them” Paige nodded in agreement. She pointed toward a small group that had gathered around the stereo and shrugged “They are Sophomores too but they act like they are owed something because they got to swim varsity last season as Freshmen. They are kind of horrible to deal with at meets.”

 

Emily frowned a little as she looked at the girls. “Can’t the coach do something about that? Punish them for their attitude or something?”

 

Paige shook her head and took a sip from her drink “They are sweethearts around the coaches. They suck up to them and offer to do extra laps and stuff like that. It’s when they aren’t around that they push the other Sophomores around.”

 

“You too?” Emily perked an eyebrow curiously, suddenly feeling protective over Paige.

 

Paige laughed and shook her head “Not me. I can out swim any of them any day of the week and they know it so they don’t even try to bully me. It’s funny because I’m quiet around everyone but no one bothers me. They kind of just let me do my thing. I guess I’m not very outgoing.” She shrugged a bit and shifted her gaze from the mean girls to another group of girls “They are the Seniors. Most of them are sweet and really supportive. I think that’s because they realize there is no getting ahead by being snobs and rubbing their seniority in our faces. The one with the red hair there? That is my dorm mate.”

 

“She’s nice” Emily nodded with a glance to the girl “She was one of the first ones to come say thank you for throwing the party here. It’s Sharon, right?”

 

Paige nodded quickly and gave a wave to the girl when their eyes met across the loft. “Yeah, that’s her. I like her a lot. I’m glad that I got her as my dorm mate because I’m not sure I would have been comfortable around anyone else. The first day I moved in she was so helpful and welcoming it made it hard for me to feel out of place. It was nice.”

 

“And no one on the team gives you trouble because you’re gay?” Emily took a sip as she asked the question. Her and Paige talked a lot whenever they hung out but Paige didn’t speak about school all that much so it was nice to get a little peek into that world.

 

Paige just shook her head and shrugged her shoulders “Nope. I guess most of this generation really doesn’t care.”

 

Emily smiled at that then motioned to the group of Seniors that Paige had pointed out earlier “I think you are being beckoned.” 

 

Sharon, Paige’s dorm mate, was waving her over and making a motion toward the keg. When Paige realized what they were talking about, she shook her head and pointed to the cup she held “I’m good, thank you.” She called out across the loft.

 

Emily perked an eyebrow at the exchange and laughed softly “What was that?”

 

“They wanted me to do a keg stand but I’m only having one tonight” Paige tapped her cup and gave Emily a smile, looking her over just once before shrugging.

 

Emily bit at her lip and looked away from Paige and into her cup as if it were suddenly really interesting. She couldn’t help but feel like Paige was staying of sound mind for a reason that night. Half of her liked the idea and the other half of her was nervous suddenly.

 

“You okay?” Paige asked softly when Emily suddenly went quiet and looked at her drink. She put her hand on Emily’s back and rubbed it softly “You can have more than one if you want. I just know that eventually we are going to have to kick these girls out and I want to be able to do so without stumbling over myself while doing it. It’s not very authoritative when you’re giggling between demanding they get out.”

 

Emily nodded her head quickly and looked up at Paige with a smile “Of course. That makes total sense. I should have thought of that. Maybe I’ll stick with one drink, too.” She held her smile a little too long and looked away again. So Paige wasn’t staying basically sober just in case something happened between them tonight? Well now she just felt disappointed even though a minute ago she was nervous and unsure.

 

Paige opened her mouth to ask if Emily was okay again when someone called her name and interrupted her. She frowned and turned toward the source of the voice and held up her finger “I’m going to go see what they need but I’ll be right back, okay?”

 

Emily offered up a forced smile and nodded her head. “Go” She motioned for her to take her leave. She watched Paige go before letting out a heavy sigh. She had no idea what she was thinking or feeling now. She shook her head at her cup and decided she didn’t need anymore. She set it down then headed toward Santana’s room where her phone was. She picked it up, took a breath, then dialed her cousin’s number.

 

Santana was sitting front row in the audience of a local talk show when she felt her phone go off. She was trying to pay attention to Rachel’s interview but when she saw it was Emily’s number her gut twisted. There must be something wrong if she was calling her this early. She pushed the answer button and lifted it to her mouth before whispering “Hold on a sec, Em.”

 

Emily nodded against the phone even though Santana couldn’t see it. She sat on Santana’s bed with her knees up to her chest and the arm holding the phone propped on her knee.

 

Santana waited until the segment broke for commercial before getting up from her seat. She caught eyes with Rachel and gave her a reassuring smile before turning to head out of the sound stage area. Once she was outside the doors she put the phone back to her ear and spoke normally now “Hey, what’s wrong?”

 

Emily smiled at the sound of Santana’s voice. “Hey, how’s it going?”

 

Santana let out a laugh and shook her head against the phone “You didn’t call just to see how it was going. What’s going on? Is everything alright with the party?”

 

“Everything is fine” Emily said with a quick nod, her tone soft but serious to convey that she wasn’t lying. “The party is going really well. No one is too drunk yet and they are all teammates so no one hates anyone enough to fight and risk being kicked off the team.”

 

Santana let out a sigh of relief and lifted her hand to her chest. She was dreading bad news and having to tell Rachel during the nice dinner they had planned after this. “Well, shit, kid you scared me. Why are you calling then?”

 

Emily sighed and looked toward the sheet wall where all of the party-goers could be seen dancing and talking. She closed her eyes and dropped her shoulders in defeat “I think I’m ready to have sex with Paige but I don’t think she wants to.”

 

“Woah” Santana breathed against the phone. She blinked a few times, having not been expecting that at all. She held up a hand to keep Emily quiet even though she couldn’t see it “Okay, hold up. Aside from the fact that this kind of disturbs me, I need details. Tell me what happened.”

 

Emily spent the next few minutes explaining the conversation herself and Paige had just had at the party. She then detailed a few other times Emily had maybe hinted and Paige had just kind of talked around it or not even acknowledged it. 

 

She finally sighed and shrugged a single shoulder “I don’t know, San. Am I crazy? I feel like she is avoiding the subject because she doesn’t want to tell me no.”

 

“That might not be the case” Santana said with a little shrug. “Have you actually ever tried bringing up the subject without cute euphemism and subtle hints? Have you ever said the words ‘Hey Paige, I think I’m ready to have sex with you. What do you think?’ I mean, beating around the bush is not the best way to go about this subject, kid.”

 

Emily blushed at the sounds of the words. She shook her head against the phone and whispered “I can’t do that.”

 

“Then you aren’t ready to have sex” Santana said plainly. “If you can’t talk about it openly then you definitely aren’t ready for the actual act itself.”

 

“But I really feel like I am” Emily said with a frown.

 

“Then, I don’t know. Let it happen naturally. Maybe she is more shy than you are?” Santana glanced up and saw that the doors were open and the audience was leaving. “Shit” She mumbled. The show must have ended. “Look, Em, just follow your heart okay? Your vagina might be confused because it wants attention and Paige is cute, but your heart will listen to reason and it won’t lead you down a path you’re not ready to travel, okay?”

 

Emily nodded. She knew Santana was right but that didn’t mean that was what she had wanted to hear. It was probably what she needed to hear, though. “Okay” She finally said with another nod “You’re right. Thank you.”

 

“Of course” Santana smiled then moved toward the backstage area. She flashed her pass that allowed her access to the dressing rooms and made her way down the long hallway. “Look, I have to go, alright? Rachel is done with her last interview for the day and we are heading to dinner. But call again if you need me.”

 

“Have fun, San” Emily said with a little smile. “Thanks for listening. I love you.”

 

“Love you too, Em.” Santana smiled at her phone as she hung it up and walked into the room where Rachel was gathering her things. She caught Rachel’s questioning eyes and immediately lifted a hand to calm her worries “It was Emily but it was completely unrelated to the party. The loft is still standing and in one piece.”

 

Rachel let out a relieved breath then reached for her phone “I was thinking the worst when I saw you get up with your phone. I almost couldn’t focus on the rest of the questions.” She tossed her phone into her small purse then slung it over her shoulder before turning toward Santana “Are you ready to get out of here? I am starved.”

 

“Let’s blow this popsicle stand” Santana said with a laugh as she offered her arm out toward her. After Rachel looped their arms together, the two girls made their way out of the studio and to their car, giggling softly as they went.

 

Emily sighed and tossed her phone onto the bed. She looked up toward the sheet again and noticed Paige standing in the doorway. She gave her a little smile “Spying on me?”

 

Paige laughed softly and shook her head as she moved over to her on the bed “I was just making sure you were alright. You seemed a little off before I got pulled away. Is everything okay?”

 

“I was just calling Santana” Emily motioned to her phone then got up off the bed. She moved over to Paige and leaned up on her toes to touch a kiss on her lips “Let’s get back out there. Who knows what these hooligans will get into without supervision.”

 

Paige nodded, letting out a soft laugh and sliding her arm around Emily as they moved back out of the room and rejoined the party.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 


	15. Really? Of course!

“So what did Emily call about?” Rachel glanced up from where she had been picking through her salad to make sure there were no onions in it. Once she was satisfied, her attention shifted to Santana as she gathered a bite on her fork.

 

Santana had already been stuffing food in her mouth by the time the question was posed. She looked up a little wide eyed at the fact that her mouth was full and just shook her head. She lifted her napkin to her mouth to wipe off the sauce from her lips. She chewed as quickly as she could, smirking at Rachel as she did so.

 

Rachel laughed very softly and her hand reached out to touch at Santana’s before rolling her eyes “Don’t choke. You can tell me when you’re done chewing.” She lifted the bite she had gathered and pushed it into her mouth.

 

Santana was finally able to clear her mouth then lifted her glass of wine to take a sip before swallowing and clearing her throat. “She thinks she is ready to have sex with Paige.”

 

Rachel coughed, choking on her bite. That had been the last thing she had expected to hear. Her eyes were watering as she tried her hardest to clear her throat from where the food had slid down without being completely chewed.

 

“Shit” Santana laughed softly, her hand reaching out to lightly pat at Rachel’s back. “I didn’t mean to kill you there, Berry. Here” She offered her some water as she gave her head an amused shake. Sometimes Rachel’s aversion to wanting to talk about sex on any level really entertained her.

 

Rachel finally caught her breath and swallowed down some water before she was able to speak again. She cleared her throat and looked wide eyed up at Santana “She called you to talk about that?”

 

Santana shrugged a little, nodding as she gathered another bite on her fork. “We talk about stuff like that. We always have. The first time she kissed a girl she called me crying because she thought she was going to Hell.” She laughed softly and put the bite in her mouth.

 

Rachel eyed Santana curiously for a moment before shaking her head and looking back at her salad “Well, what did you tell her?”

 

Wiping her mouth, Santana shrugged and swallowed her food “I told her that if she wasn’t ready to talk to Paige about it she probably wasn’t ready to actually go through with it.”

 

“She hasn’t talked to Paige about it?” Rachel frowned a little, lifting her fork but pausing before she put it in her mouth “Shouldn’t she do that first before calling you?”

 

“Right, that is what I said. But apparently every time she makes like a subtle hint toward that Paige kind of talks around it or laughs it off” Santana just shrugged again at that. “She thinks Paige is completely uninterested in her that way.”

 

“Well I doubt that” Rachel huffed out the words with a sound that was almost like a laugh. “Paige is old fashioned and super polite. She is probably thinking about it but doesn’t want to pressure Emily into it if she isn’t ready. I say Emily just be really straight forward with her and tell her how she feels that way there is no confusion left.”

 

“That’s what I said, too” Santana wiped her mouth then dropped her napkin over her plate, signaling that she was done. She lifted the remaining wine with one hand and propped her chin up on her other hand as she turned now to face Rachel a little better “I think it’s pretty great that we would give her the same advice. Are we really that in sync?”

 

Rachel laughed softly and nodded as she lifted her wine as well “It looks like we just might be.” She moved her wine glass toward Santana’s and smiled “That is something to cheers about.”

 

“Indeed” Santana agreed as her glass touched Rachel’s with a light clink. The girls both smiled over the rim of their glasses as they sipped their wine. Once Santana swallowed her drink, she licked her lips and set her glass down before folding her arms and leaning against them on the table “So what do you want to do with the rest of our evening?”

 

“Well” Rachel took in a deep breath, letting out a happy sigh as her hand reached out to slide over one of Santana’s arms “We have to get up early to fly to Chicago so perhaps we should go back to the room, order a movie, maybe some dessert, and call it a night?”

 

Santana fought off an amused smile and rolled her eyes a bit “Wow you have this whole romantic vacation away from everything down. Nothing beats doing exactly what we would do at home but doing it in another city!” She faked enthusiasm before laughing and reaching out to put a hand on Rachel’s leg “Neither of us have been to Vancouver and from what I hear they have a Hell of a night life. Why not go explore a bit?”

 

“San” Rachel cooed softly as she took Santana’s hand between both of hers. She lifted her hands and touched a little kiss to her fingertips “I am not, in any realm, wanting to get inebriated tonight, fool around, pass out, and wake up having to fly hungover.”

 

Santana drew in a deep gasp and put her free hand to her chest as she stared at Rachel with her mouth dropped open. “Rachel Barbra Berry I can’t believe what you are insinuating! I am trying to take my girl out for a night on the town and you think I am trying to get you drunk, take advantage of you, and potentially cause us both pain by hangover in the morning!”

 

Rachel rolled her eyes so hard she was sure she saw the back of her own skull. “Santana Carmen Lopez, I’m not an idiot. Considering we just had a conversation about when you are ready to have sex in a new relationship I know exactly what is cooking in your mind. I also know that you happen to enjoy alcohol as a way of braving yourself up enough to make a move since you are, for some unknown reason, outstandingly shy around me.”

 

Santana’s shock on her face was now more serious. Her head shook and she creased her eyebrows in a bit of a frown “Rachel, I swear I just wanted to go out and see Vancouver with you. There are no ulterior motives here unless you count taking every moment alone with you and cherishing it an ulterior motive.”

 

Rachel suddenly felt guilt swell into her throat. She frowned and looked down in shame. She had been almost sure Santana was trying to get frisky that night but to hear that she had the best intentions made her feel bad. “I’m sorry” Rachel looked up at her with a little pout on her lips “I guess I am still getting used to this whole you actually wanting to spend time with me without some other hidden reason thing.” She lifted her hands again to kiss at Santana’s fingers again “I would really love to go out on the town with you.”

 

Santana just rolled her eyes before laughing very lightly “You are such a dweeb, Berry. You’re lucky I really like you or I would totally be offended that you thought all I wanted was to have sex with you tonight. Trust me, that is not on my mind at all.”

 

“At all?” Rachel perked an eyebrow curiously. She didn’t like the sound of that. She wanted Santana to think about sex with her. She thought about sex with Santana.

 

Seeing the immediate panic taking over Rachel’s face when she posed the question, Santana quickly reached out and put her hand on Rachel’s cheek “Woah, hey, focus here, Rachel. Of course I think about sex with you. I just meant that tonight was about showing you a good time for the sake of seeing you smile and not at all with the only intention to have sex. If it happens, it happens. There is absolutely no pressure here. So take a breath and back up the freaking out express.”

 

Rachel nodded quickly and drew in a deep breath. She closed her eyes and slowly started to calm herself with a few breathing exercises. It took a few moments but she finally felt herself relaxing and slowly she opened her eyes again. When she saw Santana staring at her patiently, she couldn’t help the butterflies that filled her stomach. She gave her a dreamy smile and reached out to cup at her cheek lightly “You are a pretty great girlfriend already and you’ve only been my girlfriend for like three days. I can’t wait to see how much better this gets.”

 

Santana let out a laugh and leaned over to kiss her very lightly “If you like this already, I am going to blow your mind later.” 

 

Rachel couldn’t help but smirk a bit because her mind went right to the gutter. She had definitely heard how satisfied some of Santana’s companions had been and now she couldn’t help but let her mind wonder what exactly Santana had up her sleeve.

 

Santana could tell exactly what Rachel was thinking. She shook her head in amusement and took the moment to slide her card into the check presenter to pay for their meal. She waited until the server took it away before reaching out and putting her hand on Rachel’s leg “Are you about ready to go or do you want to keep sitting here imagining the many ways I can blow your mind?”

 

“What?” Rachel huffed, blushing with a shake of her head. “I wasn’t!” She stumbled over the denial as she reached for her purse. “You wish” She mumbled through a forced breath of a laugh. She looked in her purse and pulled out her card, looking up now with a casual shrug “Let me just pay and we can get going.”

 

“Too late” Santana sang out as the server returned her card with the receipt to sign.

 

“San!” Rachel huffed and dropped her card in her purse. “You know the show is paying for everything. I am supposed to use the corporate card so they can write it off!”

 

“This has nothing to do with the show, Rach” Santana mumbled as she signed the slip then looked up at Rachel with a grin. “This is me taking my girl out. Tonight is on me and if you argue just once I will take you back to the room, lock you inside, and go out all by myself.”

 

Rachel clenched her jaw but didn’t argue. She stood up and tucked her purse under her arm. She reached out her other arm to Santana and put on a forced smile.

 

Santana triumphantly smiled as she stood and slid her arm through Rachel’s. She held her head up high as they started to walk through the building toward where the car waited. “God I love winning.”

 

“You did not win” Rachel huffed and pulled the door open for Santana before following her out onto the street.

 

“Oh my dear Rachel you lost” Santana glanced at her with a nod and a smirk. “You are doing what I want and there is nothing you can do to stop it. That is the very definition of winning.”

 

“Shut up” Rachel grumbled and rolled her eyes as she slid into the car. She moved over to let Santana in and folded her arms in annoyance. She hated when she didn’t get her way. Even more so she hated when Santana got what she wanted in spite of Rachel. She knew it always led to Santana rubbing it in for days as well as it being brought up whenever Santana needed a little boost.

 

Santana snickered as she slid into the seat next to Rachel. God she loved winning. She was going to make sure Rachel never heard the end of it. But for now she would behave because she did genuinely want to enjoy a night out with her girlfriend.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“Everyone is finally gone” Paige said with a relieved sigh as she plopped down on Santana’s bed where Emily was already laying. She turned her head to look at Emily and gave her a little smile “I had a really good time tonight. I am going to have to remember to thank Rachel and Santana for letting us use their place.”

 

Emily nodded sleepily and rolled to her side toward Paige. She yawned as her arm slid around her and pulled until their bodies were pressed together tightly. “I really enjoyed meeting all of your teammates. Now when I cheer them on next season I can yell for them by name.”

 

Paige let out a soft laugh and wrapped her arm around Emily’s waist tightly. She touched a light kiss to her forehead then settled against the pillow “You know they can’t really hear the actual yelling while under water, right? Also that means you would have to do the yelling in person which means you would have to come to the meets.”

 

Emily smiled weakly and although she wanted to look at Paige her eyes were just too heavy to do so “Well maybe I’ll make a trip or two back to see you swim. I mean it’s not that long of a drive.”

 

“You’d really drive over nine hours to come see me swim for like a total of twenty minutes?” Paige bit her bottom lip to fight off the smile that was trying to creep over her features. That might actually be the nicest thing anyone had ever said they’d do for her.

 

“Well I’d get to see you before and after, ideally.” Emily opened her eyes now and found Paige’s gaze on her. She crinkled her nose as her hand reached to lay against Paige’s cheek. She leaned in and touched the gentlest kiss to her lips before nodding slightly “I would definitely plan an entire round trip weekend road trip just to see you for twenty minutes.”

 

Paige shook her head against the pillow and took in a deep breath. She let it out slowly and dipped her head because she just couldn’t handle looking at her. She was afraid her eyes might give away just what that meant to her. “So are you saying that after you go home at the end of the summer we are still going to, well, be something?”

 

Emily frowned a little at Paige’s words. She wondered when she had ever indicated that they would be anything else but something once she left. She propped herself up on her elbow and used her other hand to pull Paige’s eyes up. She nodded when their eyes met and spoke softly but firmly “You are one of the most amazing people I have ever met in my life. The idea of not still talking to you and seeing you when I could once I go back home has never crossed my mind, okay? So we try long distance if that’s what it takes but I don’t want this thing we have to end just because I go back to school.”

 

Paige almost couldn’t handle the intensity of both Emily’s words and the look in her eyes. She swallowed the lump forming in her throat and fought the urge to dip her head again. Instead she drew in a steadying breath and managed a shy smile “I’m so happy to hear that. I know when this started we both knew you had to leave but this whole time I kind of liked living in denial that it was going to happen. But now that it’s getting closer I have been dreading having this conversation because I was sure you were going to tell me that we should just be friends.”

 

“Why would I say that?” Emily asked with a shake of her head. “Paige, I really like you. I mean, really” She laughed at the fact that she was unable to come up with a better word than really before shaking it away and continuing seriously again. “I like you so much I’ve been spending most of the night trying to work up the courage to ask how you felt about me in regards to, um...” She suddenly felt nervous and had to look away. She blushed softly and shrugged her shoulders before mumbling “...being physical.”

 

“What?” Paige asked softly, her eyes dropping to follow Emily’s shy gaze. She didn’t quite hear her and she reached out to lift her face up to find her eyes. She smiled when she caught sight of Emily’s soft eyes and let out a soft sigh “Just talk to me, okay? What were you working up the courage to ask me?”

 

Emily blushed but didn’t look away. She took a moment to look into Paige’s eyes and somehow that calmed her down. She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly before speaking again softly but not in a mumble this time “Do you want to, you know, ever have sex with me?”

 

It was Paige’s turn to blush. She turned more red than Emily, if that was even possible. She let out a soft laugh of surprise and quickly nodded her head “Um, yes.”

 

“You do?” Emily sounded relieved. When she realized how relieved she sounded, she blushed again, and let out a shy giggle “I meant, um...” When she realized that what she had meant was exactly what she said, she bit her lip and shrugged “Really?”

 

“Of course” Paige said quickly. She realized how quickly she said it and shook her head “Of course I would think about that. You are so beautiful and kind and amazing and from the day I met you I have been enamored with you. I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I’ve thought about it more times than I could count.”

 

Emily fought off a happy grin and gave a quick nod. “Me too” She whispered through her blush. She bit at her lip, giggled again, then let out a soft sigh “Then how come every time I’ve made some sort of comment about it you kind of talk around it?”

 

“I’m not very open about stuff like this” Paige admitted with a bit of a defeated sigh escaping her lips. “I didn’t want you to think that all I was interested in was that. I never wanted you to feel pressure about having to do that to keep my attention.” She glanced away and took a breath to calm her blazing cheeks. “I’m also very shy so I like to avoid subjects that make me blush if I can.” She looked back at Emily now and offered her a little half smile “I guess maybe part of me wanted to be sure about how I felt about you and sex often, you know, messes with that clarity.”

 

Emily gave a few understanding nods as a slow smile over took her features. Her hand lifted and she lightly touched at Paige’s cheek, bringing her eyes back to her own. “And how do you feel about me?”

 

Paige shrugged and looked away shyly. She licked at her lips just once then drew in a shaky breath before lifting her eyes back to look at Emily “I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I am completely infatuated with you.”

 

Emily couldn’t fight the smile that over took her features. She somehow managed to hold eye contact with Paige and didn’t even blush, which was an accomplishment for her considering what the girl had just said. She did manage to nod a bit before leaning in to touch a very light kiss to Paige’s mouth “And I’m completely infatuated with you, too.”

 

“Well good” Paige said with a relieved laugh before lifting her hand to cup at Emily’s cheek. She pulled slightly against her as she leaned in and the gap was closed until their lips met again. The kiss was sweet and innocent at first, neither of them having more intention than to just show that the words they had just spoken were true. But after a few long moments of the tender kiss it grew into something more.

 

Emily shifted from how she laid on her side and brought herself closer to Paige. She slid one arm around her waist and pulled until their bodies met again. She then leaned her chest into Paige’s as her lips parted to deepen the kiss. The shift of their bodies together caused Paige to start to lay back against the bed more.

 

Paige didn’t fight it and soon she was on her back with Emily laying half on top of her. This definitely wasn’t the first time they had been in this sort of position. They had engaged in many a deep make out session, including the night Paige had accidentally left the mark on Emily’s neck. So when Emily slid her body over Paige’s, she didn’t think anything of it and simply just wrapped her arms around Emily’s thin hips.

 

Emily let out the softest moan as her body moved over Paige’s. She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt this comfortable with someone. It was so easy for her to get lost in Paige’s kiss. She had to constantly remind herself to slow down and take a step back but at the moment even that was lost. The words from Paige were swirling in her head and her body was responding most.

 

Paige smiled against the kiss before using her teeth to nibble at her bottom lip. There was something about the way Emily kissed her. It was deep and passionate but light and playful. Their lips fit together perfectly, their tongues danced in harmony, and the way their bodies felt together drove Paige crazy.

 

It wasn’t until Emily’s hands were sliding inside the sides of Paige’s light leather jacket that she realized there was more to this than just a kiss. She wasn’t sure if they kept on like this that she would be able to stop. So she broke the kiss and rocked back on Paige just enough to put some space between them and take a deep breath. She licked her lips and smiled down at Paige as her hands worked at pushing the jacket off her arms.

 

“What’s wrong?” Paige breathed out heavily as her eyes opened and she looked at Emily above her. She gave her a shy smile and lifted up to help aid in the removal of her jacket without hesitation.

 

“Nothing” Emily breathed in deeply then let it out with a sigh. She smiled as her eyes drifted to Paige’s newly exposed arms. She had worn a tank top under the leather jacket and now that it had been tossed aside, Emily’s focus was on the tone lines that were made prominent by the fact that Paige was a swimmer. Her hand reached out and a finger lightly traced one of her triceps. “I just needed a breather. I kind of felt myself losing control.”

 

Goosebumps rose on Paige’s flesh at the feel of Emily’s finger on her skin. She closed her eyes and swallowed hard. She nodded in understanding before opening her eyes to look back at Emily above her. A half smile lifted at the corner of her mouth and she just shrugged her shoulders “It’s okay if you do” She lifted her hand to Emily’s cheek, pushing some of her hair behind her ear gently “I’m here to catch you.”

 

Emily bit at her lip and her eyes shifted from where she was watching her finger slide along Paige’s arm to her eyes. She nodded almost shyly before leaning down to kiss her again. It was brief and she pulled back again, this time just enough to catch Paige’s eyes and whisper “Are you sure?”

 

Paige nodded quickly as both hands now moved along Emily’s sides. She offered a quick flicker of a smile before her face turned serious and she returned the soft whisper “I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.”

 

That was all Emily had needed to hear. She had been so nervous and so unsure but after their discussion she knew now that it was right. The two of them were on the same page and now she had to let herself relax. She held a smile until the very last second before her lips touched Paige’s again. This time it was immediately passionate, letting her lips and tongue say the words she had wanted to for so long. The words that told Paige just how badly she wanted her.

 

Paige was taken back by the urgency in Emily’s kiss but she didn’t question it and didn’t pull back. Instead she returned it just as fiercely, not wanting Emily to doubt for a second that she felt the same way for her. She leaned up into her, arms wrapping tightly around her, holding her close, wanting to feel every movement of her body.

 

Emily shivered at the way Paige pulled her body closer. It was almost too much to handle but at the same time it encouraged her. Her hands had found their way to Paige’s amazing arms again but they didn’t stay long. Her fingers craved more and went in search for new skin to explore. Her hands moved over Paige’s thin sides and to her hips before dipping under her tank top and pushing up, exposing Paige’s tight stomach and tone abs. She let out a groan as her fingers danced over the new flesh and muscles, wanting to memorize every dip and valley she found now.

 

Paige’s back arched up off the bed at the feel of Emily’s hands on her. She bit very gently on Emily’s bottom lip and broke the kiss for a moment to draw in a deep breath. She opened her eyes just enough to look at the girl above her and offer a slight smile “That feels good.”

 

“I’ve barely started” Emily said with a giggle. She rocked back so she was sitting on Paige’s hips now as her eyes dropped and her hands worked at the tank top again. This time she moved the material up Paige’s torso until it bunched under her arms. She smiled when Paige gladly sat up to let the shirt come off her head. Once it was tossed aside, Emily’s gaze drifted down over her body again. Her hand moved over her stomach then up her side. She giggled very softly when she realized Paige had a sports bra on. She perked an eyebrow and looked at her curiously “Really?”

 

Paige let out a soft laugh and shrugged a bit “They are comfortable and you never know when you are going to need support in the case of random running or other various exercising.”

 

“It’s cute” Emily smirked before reaching to her own waist and grabbing the hem of her shirt. She pulled it up over her body and head, throwing it onto the floor before her eyes focused back on Paige. She leaned back over her now and brought her lips into a kiss once more before mumbling softly “Please don’t be shy.”

 

Paige nodded her head as their lips once more engaged in a kiss. Though she had been nervous and had wanted to be polite, Emily’s words had sparked her to push further. Her hands now roamed along Emily’s back and along her sides as their lips and tongues tangled. The feel of their bare stomachs pressed together now ignited something in Paige she didn’t know she could feel. It was in that moment that her desire to be with Emily took over and it was as if her body moved by itself now. Her strong arms wrapped tightly around Emily and with barely any effort at all she turned, throwing her weight until she was sliding over Emily and Emily was now pressed to the mattress below her.

 

Emily let out a loud giggle at the shift in position. As her head hit the pillow, she pulled back from the kiss and smirked up at Paige “The fact that you’re strong enough to do that is really, really sexy.”

 

Paige laughed softly as she pressed a new kiss to Emily’s lips briefly “I’m just getting started.” Her lips captured Emily’s again, this time more firmly to hush any more words for the moment. As their tongues slid together, her hands roamed in search for more. Emily had started a fire and Paige was going to let it burn now. Her fingers found the waistband of the tiny jean shorts and easily popped open the button and pulled at the zipper.

 

A shiver danced through Emily’s back at the urgency Paige suddenly showed. She let out a soft groan and lifted her hips without hesitation, letting the material of her shorts be pulled off by Paige and tossed aside. As soon as her legs were freed of the material and she settled back against the bed, her hands reached out and pulled until Paige’s body came back to rest again her own. Once Paige was settled on her again, her hands slid up her back until she found her bra. Fingers traced the material borders before sliding under her bra strap then down her arm slowly, smiling into the kiss at the feel of the muscles she found there again.

 

Goosebumps once more lifted over Paige’s skin at the feel of Emily’s hands on her. Her gut twitched as desire started to knot there. Every brush of fingertips, every pull on their lips, and every time their hips bumped together it knotted her stomach more tightly. As their kiss lingered, hunger rose, and soft moans escaped between brief pauses of their lips. Paige’s hands moved down Emily’s sides, over her slender hips, and along her thighs. Her arms wrapped around Emily’s thighs and lifted them around her own waist, allowing herself to come to rest between her legs, bringing them even closer together.

 

A groan of liking escaped Emily’s lips at the feel of Paige between her legs now. She arched up into her, letting the pressure tease against her for a moment before dropping back to the mattress enough to reach between them. Her fingers pulled at the belt Paige wore, giving a few soft tugs until it unhooked and came open. She smirked against the kiss before popping open the button and zipper, pulling open the jeans, and pushing the material as far down as she could before Paige lifted herself, making it easier for Emily to push them down her legs.

 

Paige broke the kiss to look down between them. She laughed softly as she started to kick her legs a little bit in attempt to get the jeans off of herself. She had to roll to the side and use both hands now to push at the material that had become tangled around her knees. She glanced at Emily with an amused smirk when she was finally able to kick the jeans free “Remind me to wear looser jeans around you from now on.”

 

“Oh come on, I like a bit of a challenge” Emily teased as her hands reached out to slide over Paige’s side. She rolled to her side as well and with a soft pull brought their bodies right up against each other again. She bent her knee and slid it between both of Paige’s legs, smirking as her eyes lifted and she found Paige’s gaze “Now, where were we?” She bit at her lip for just a moment before leaning in and finding her lips again.

 

Paige let out a soft laugh as the kiss was pressed to her mouth. She was glad they could joke through this or she would be extremely nervous. But everything Emily did just encouraged her to keep going. Her hand slid around Emily’s waist and she pulled gently, causing Emily’s leg to bend higher and pressed right between her legs. This got a groan out of Paige and echoed through the quiet loft.

 

Emily smirked triumphantly against the kiss at the sound of the groan. She liked knowing what her actions were doing to Paige. She let her knee bend higher once more and when she again got a groan of liking she felt her heart twitch and her stomach knot. She needed to hear that again. She needed to make Paige feel amazing. It wasn’t about wanting anymore. It had turned into a burning need. So fingers slid along Paige’s back and up under the bra she wore. She pushed until the material could go no more then broke the kiss, letting her eyes come open to look at Paige before whispering hungrily “I need you.”

 

Paige didn’t hesitate. She sat up from where she had been laying and lifted her arms, allowing Emily to lift the material off her body fully. Now left in just her panties she would usually feel self conscious but it wasn’t so this time. Her eyes met Emily’s and the look she held calmed her immediately. She gave her a soft smile then leaned over her, bringing her chest to press into Emily’s, lowering her back to the bed, as their lips once more met.

 

Emily’s hands started to roam about the newly uncovered skin. Her breath had been taken away at the sight of Paige’s full torso but she had not had time to explore it like she had wanted. So now she let her hands do what her eyes didn’t get to and they slid around Paige’s stomach, up over her ribs slowly, all the way up to where her arms met her body. Across thin collarbones then downward her fingers trickled. 

 

Each defined muscle made Emily just a bit weaker to feel. Her touch trembled just slightly as her need grew but she stayed strong, finally brushing a feather light touch around the top of Paige’s breasts before cupping lightly at the supple mounds, squeezing ever so lightly before both thumbs passed just once over her eagerly perked nipples.

 

Paige again groaned deep in her throat at the feel of Emily’s hands so tender against her flesh. She pushed her chest downward, silently urging her to continue. Paige’s own hands took cue from Emily’s touch and had once more started to glide over her slender body. Each pass of Emily’s fingertips over her skin pushed Paige’s own touch forward and soon she was reaching under Emily, grasping the hooks that kept the bra she wore closed, and working the two sides apart. Both hands moved to help guide the straps down Emily’s shoulders, along her arms, and finally away from her body completely.

 

The kiss was broken as the bra was tossed to the floor. Emily blinked up at Paige, her lips holding a very calm smile as she looked at the girl above her. They shared a deep gaze for a few heart beats before Emily nodded and her eyes dropped, taking in the view of the girl over her. Once more her thumbs teased over pink nipples before moving onward, down Paige’s sides, fingers dipping in and out of each toned line along her body.

 

Paige’s eyes dipped when Emily’s did as well. She looked at the darker skin of the girl that lay below and her a smile came to her face. As her fingers danced across her chest and gently traced the curves of her breast she felt herself warm with a new feeling as the contrast of skin became clear to her. It was beautiful. They had held hands numerous times but never had Paige realized how different the tones were until that moment. It was a perfect mix, she thought to herself as her head dipped and her mouth circled one of Emily’s waiting nipples.

 

Emily’s back arched into Paige’s mouth. Her fingers dug into her hips where she had been taking in the feel of Paige’s skin. A soft moan lifted from her lips and her eyes snapped shut as her body ignited. It was such a simple act but it tingled every single nerve in Emily’s body. Just a single roll of Paige’s tongue and Emily was drawing in a deep breath and whispering for more “Please don’t stop.”

 

Stopping was the last thing on Paige’s mind. Her eyes lifted to look at the girl the best she could with her mouth teasing at the flesh between her lips. She could see Emily’s face twitching with little hints of pleasure and that was enough to keep her going forever if Emily wanted. She let her tongue sway back and forth a few more times over the sensitive skin before pulling back and releasing it. When Emily glanced down and caught Paige’s eyes in want for more, she didn’t hesitate to move to the other breast and take that nipple in just the same as the other. 

 

A sense of relief flooded Emily at the feel of Paige’s mouth on her again. It had just been a heartbeat or two but that had been long enough to miss the sensation. But Paige had sensed that and now with her mouth once more against her, Emily felt whole again. Fingers curled slightly against Paige’s hips where she still gripped, silently telling Paige never to leave her like that again, even if it had been just a moment.

 

A soft sound slipped through Paige’s lips at the feel of Emily’s pulling against her. It was to tell her she understood, that she wouldn’t leave her unfulfilled. Again her tongue rolled over and over, teasing the flesh her mouth held captive. Her hands moved now until she found the last bit of material between Emily’s body and her touch. She moved the waistband of the panties down smoothly, in a motion barely noticeable, until Emily lifted her hips and the material was gone. Now the girl beneath her was completely bared to her and every twitch of her body was silent begging for more. 

 

She didn’t hesitate as her hand moved up Emily’s long leg, letting it dip between them to drag a teasing brush of fingers all the way up until her legs came together. Pulling her mouth back now, just for a moment, she caught Emily’s eyes as her fingers slid gently through the slick desire that had gathered between her legs. She gave a single teasing pass and when Emily’s head nodded just slightly Paige returned the nod as a smile tugged at the corner of her lips and her fingers curled, pushing inside the girl firmly.

 

Emily gasped and her hips arched up immediately. Her head rolled back and her eyes closed just for a moment to let herself soak in the sensation before a smile filled her lips and her eyes came open. She lifted her head and looked down her body just enough to see Paige above her, watching her every move carefully as her fingers slid in and out slowly. Emily nodded her head once more, reaching a hand up to touch gently at Paige’s cheek, holding her gaze as they silently fell into a perfect rhythm together.

 

Paige was relieved to see the look Emily held in her eyes. Her smile grew and she licked her lips before leaning down to capture Emily’s mouth in a deep kiss. This immediately brought a groan rolling into her throat. Her hand started to move faster and when Emily’s hips immediately matched the pace a shiver danced through Paige’s body. Every little movement between them was perfect. “You feel so good” Paige mumbled against the kiss as her fingers now started to curl with each new thrust into Emily.

 

Emily nodded her head and bit lightly at Paige’s lip. A light moan slipped from her mouth and she smiled before breaking the kiss completely. Her eyes once more came open and she watched Paige watching her. There was such a gentle intensity in Paige’s eyes, it was something Emily had never experienced before and it made her shiver. There was something different about this. It wasn’t just sex and it wasn’t just two people expressing their attraction toward each other. There was something more than she understood and though it was terrifying it was also completely intoxicating. 

 

Paige could only hold eye contact with Emily for so long without feeling overwhelmed with emotion. The way she looked at her just did something to her that she couldn’t explain. So after a few moments her eyes closed and her head dipped to find the skin against Emily’s neck. She left soft kiss and pulled flesh between her lips just momentarily. She learned her lesson last time. She did not want another lecture about self control. But that was what Emily did to her. She made her completely lose control of herself and she had to admit she liked that.

 

Emily’s hips lifted again when Paige’s fingers found a particularly sensitive spot inside her. She let out a noise that was almost like a yelp but held only pleasure in it’s tone. She bit at her lip as her hands moved over Paige’s back and her sides, taking in the feel of every muscle that flexed with every move Paige made. It was intoxicating the way her body worked. Emily felt as though she could watch it forever. 

 

A hand moved back down to Paige’s waist and this time pushed inside the material of the panties Paige still wore. Frustrated at this, Emily sat up just slightly, enough to be able to guide the material down Paige’s body until they tangle at her thighs. She looked up and caught Paige’s eyes, giving a soft laugh “I needed to feel all of you.”

 

Paige just gave an understanding nod and lifted her legs one at a time until she could kick free the material. Now bare, she again didn’t feel shy. It was something in Emily’s eyes that made her feel more confident than ever now. Once rid of the last remaining clothing, she shifted back over Emily, hand still moving between her legs, and put a knee on each side of one of Emily’s thighs. Now focused on Emily completely again she gave a firmer thrust of her hand inside her, smirking when Emily fell back to the bed completely.

 

“Shit” Emily muttered as her body was paralyzed with pleasure from the firm thrust. She froze a few seconds before regaining sensation everywhere else in her body. She smirked up at Paige as her hips started to move once more with her hand, making sure each movement was just as sharp and needing as Paige’s were. Once the rhythm was again harmonious, Emily moved her hand down Paige’s stomach where it hovered just inches above her. She used her touch to trace slowly over Paige’s skin from her stomach to her hips and finally over her thighs. Just like Paige had done, she showed no hesitation to dip between the other girl’s thighs only to be greeted with the desire that had built in Paige’s body. She bit her lip at the sensation as her fingertips played up and down through the moisture slowly.

 

Emily’s touch caused Paige’s stomach to twitch and her hand to falter momentarily. She had been so worked up that just the simple touch had nearly done her in. Her head fell and she laid it gently against Emily’s shoulder to pull in a few steadying breaths. “Damn it” She grumbled before letting out a laugh. She turned her head and kissed once at Emily’s ear before whispering against it “Do you feel how badly I want you?”

 

“It feels incredible” Emily whispered in return as she guided her fingers teasingly around Paige’s folds. She was enjoying torturing Paige a bit but even more so the reaction she was getting. She could physically feel Paige’s shoulders, hips, and legs trembling at her touch and she had to admit she felt powerful. Paige’s hand inside her had stopped completely, having been rendered motionless at Emily’s touch. This made Emily giggle and she cooed against Paige’s ear “Do you like that?”

 

Paige bit down on Emily’s shoulder sharply and pushed her hips down onto Emily’s hand. She pulled her head back quickly and nodded as her eyes met Emily’s “So much. Please...” She felt her eyes close at another teasing pass and her breath hitch in her throat. She licked at her lips and drew in a slow breath before once more whispering “Please.”

 

Emily wouldn’t tease anymore. On her last pass through the warm folds, her fingers curled and she finally filled Paige with a single motion. Paige’s hips pressed down even more, her head rolled back, and a strangled cry of relief rose into the air. Emily had to admit it was one of the sexiest things she had ever seen. She waited for Paige’s head to roll forward and when their eyes met again, Emily’s hand started to move, stroking in and out of the girl above her slowly, not wanting to overwhelm her right away.

 

The movements caused a tremble to ripple from Paige’s thighs to her shoulders and back again. They were such slow, methodical strokes within her but they felt perfect. She somehow managed to keep her eyes open, watching Emily watch her for a few slow strokes before her own hand came to life again. When she started to push in and out again, Emily gasped once more and just like that they fell back into the perfect rhythm they had so easily found without words or practice.

 

Emily couldn’t help the smile that slid over her lips as both their hands and hips moved in sync. She couldn’t take her eyes off of Paige’s face. Each time she stroked a particularly sensitive spot, Paige’s brow would curl together and her lips would twitch into a smile but her eyes never closed. There was such an intensity building between them both in the way they held each others gaze and the way their bodies moved so fluidly together.

 

Paige shivered again as the intensity flowed between them. She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, smiling very softly when she saw the way Emily’s face twisted in pleasure with her newest thrust inside her. “You feel so good” She whispered softly, leaning down to touch a light kiss to her lips before pulling back just enough to grab her gaze again “Keep going, I’m almost there.”

 

It was like the words sparked something in Emily. She lifted herself onto the elbow of her arm not buried between Paige’s thighs. She brought her chest up to press into Paige’s before capturing her Paige’s lips in a fierce kiss. Her hand inside started to work faster, more firmly and precisely with each push. Fingers curled and prodded into every spot she had so quickly learned made Paige twitch.

 

Paige nearly yelped as the pleasure from Emily’s hand so suddenly started to surge through her. She felt herself tingling in her toes and her fingertips and she had to remind her hand to keep moving, trying to keep up with what Emily was doing to her now. “Shit” She breathed out heavily, smiling weakly against the kiss that Emily had trapped her in. Each thrust from Emily was igniting her from head to toe and she felt herself starting to slip.

 

Emily could feel the way Paige’s body was starting to give way and it only pushed her further. Her hand drove into Paige harder, faster, unrelenting until she could feel the other girl’s world soar into space. She pulled back from the kiss, her chest heaving now with deep breaths as her eyes caught Paige’s. She gave her a nod and let out a husky whisper “Come on, Paige. Let me feel you.”

 

The way Paige’s body reacted to Emily’s words surprised her. There was a sudden jolt that ripped through her body that somehow mixed with where Emily’s fingers pressed inside her and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Her stomach tensed, knotted like a rope tangled at the bottom of an old chest. Her toes curled against the mattress and with just a few more thrusts from Emily her hips started to twitch. She felt herself losing all control until one more move sent her over the edge. Fireworks erupted on the end of each of her nerves from head to toe, sending shots of pleasure radiating from her core to the very ends of the hairs that rose on the back of her neck.

 

The noise that rose from Paige’s lips as her body crashed down in pleasure around Emily’s hand made her smirk triumphantly. Emily watched Paige’s face as she soaked in the way she felt and let her entire body be consumed by satisfaction. She slowed her hand carefully until she was sure Paige’s body could take it and finally slid her fingers from within her. When Paige’s eyes came open and gave her a lazy look of contentment, Emily leaned up just slightly and touched a kiss to her chin “You’re so beautiful.”

 

Paige laughed out very softly, shaking her head a bit before touching a brush of a kiss to Emily’s lips. Her eyes closed again and slowly her head came to rest on Emily’s shoulders. She was trying to catch her breath and regain a semblance of control of herself again. It took a few minutes, which Emily seemed to happily oblige by letting her rest against her shoulder, but Paige finally felt herself calm again. Her head lifted and she found Emily staring at her when her eyes came open. 

 

“You alright?” Emily laughed softly at Paige’s disheveled appearance, lifting her hand to push some of Paige’s hair out of her face.

 

Paige nodded quickly and touched a kiss to her nose “More than alright.”

 

“Good” Emily whispered shyly, suddenly realizing that Paige’s entire demeanor was because of her and feeling a bit modest about it.

 

Paige lifted her free hand and cupped at Emily’s face. She pulled her into a few light kisses before her hand that was still buried inside Emily started to move again slightly “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some unfinished business.”

 

Emily’s entire body tensed at the sudden reminder that it had been consumed with pleasure of its own before Paige’s body had given in. Her eyes snapped shut and her head rolled back lightly as a throaty moan lifted into the air “Oh my god.”

 

It was Paige’s turn to smirk. She had to admit she liked seeing the effect a simple movement could have on Emily. But she didn’t have time to revel in it because she had bigger goals. Her hand started to work quickly inside her again as her free arm wrapped around Emily’s waist and pulled her up against her, holding her in a near sitting position as her hand started to speed up.

 

Both of Emily’s hands reached back to prop herself up against the bed. She used the leverage to lift her hips and move them against Paige’s hand. With each new move and sway she felt her heart racing faster and her body hurtling to the high she was now desperately craving. “Faster” She breathed out heavily, her eyes holding a deep yearning for more. She felt that if they stopped now she might break into a million pieces.

 

Paige nodded quickly to let Emily know she had heard her. Her hand responded too, moving in and out furiously now. Fingers curled, pressed, and teased anywhere she could find. She took notes each time a movement made Emily moan or twitch, wanting to repeat the actions over and over again. As her hand moved, her thumb now reached up and found Emily’s clit, moving it back and forth a few times gently.

 

That was all too much, it seemed. Emily cried out in pleasure at the new sensations mixing with what Paige was already doing to her. Her head rolled back and she let out a few pants as her hips continued to move against Paige’s skilled touch. She felt the heat growing along her thighs and up her stomach and she knew she wouldn’t last much longer. She rolled her head forward and opened her eyes, smiling at Paige between heavy breaths “Just like that.”

 

Again Paige nodded to let Emily know that she had been heard. She didn’t take her eyes off her as each movement continued. Her thumb teased back and forth, her fingers curled up and in, and her hand pulled in and out. Every movement was precise. She bit her bottom lip, eyes staring intensely at Emily was she moved “Come on, Em.”

 

Emily let out a heavy breath and reached up to loop her hand around the back of Paige’s head. She pulled her into a lip-crashing kiss. Her entire body trembled and her hand that still held herself up gripped at the sheets. Her hips froze and back arched as a tremble rolled through her entire body. Her lips broke from the kiss and her head fell back. Each time Paige’s hand drove into her, she let out a half pant, her breath starting to leave her. The next thrust hit just right and she couldn’t hold on anymore. Her thighs trembled, her hips twitched, and every muscle inside her throbbed fiercely.

 

Paige smiled dreamily as she felt Emily’s body finally topple over the edge. She watched every last twitch and breath from the girl before her hand finally slowed and she was able to slide from inside her. She leaned in and gently kissed at Emily’s forehead before both hands moved around her waist and slowly she eased her to her back against the mattress. Once she was settled, Paige shifted to lay on her side beside her. Her hand moved along her thighs and over her stomach before coming to rest on her hip. She propped herself up on her other hand, elbow against the mattress, smiling down at Emily as she regained herself.

 

When Emily realized Paige was watching her, she let out a soft laugh and actually blushed. It was funny how quickly things could go back to normal even after being tangled in passion like they had just been. But now she was giggly and a bit shy again. She reached down and put a hand over the one of Paige’s that rest against her stomach and let out a sigh “I am so glad we talked tonight.”

 

Paige laughed at that and came to rest fully against the mattress. Her head laid on the pillow softly as her eyes closed “So am I.”

 

Emily rolled her head to the side and touched a kiss to Paige’s nose. She lifted her hand and laid it against Paige’s cheek, her thumb running back and forth against her cheek gently “Are you alright?”

 

Paige nodded and cracked her eyes open to look at Emily. She smiled lazily and nudged Emily’s nose with her own before whispering to her softly “I couldn’t be better.” Her arm wrapped around Emily tightly and pulled her as close as physically possible. She let out a happy sigh before a yawn took over. As it passed, she laughed softly but didn’t speak. It was as if Emily knew what the yawn was saying. It had been a long night. She didn’t argue with that as her eyes closed and her body relaxed against Paige’s, the two of them laying in contentment until finally drifting off into a well deserved night of sleep.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	16. The Berlin wall

“Okay, so” Santana stumbled a little bit and let out a laugh. She looked over at Rachel with a look of surprise before locking her arm through Rachel’s a little more tightly and shaking her head “We have hit clubs of all sorts tonight. Good old fashioned pubs, fancy new trendy bars, artsy lounge and bars, dance clubs, and even a coffee shop that turned into a bar after dark.” She gave her hip a little bump into Rachel’s and shrugged “Which has been your favorite spot for the night?”

 

Rachel thought about it for a moment as they stopped at the corner to wait for the crosswalk to signal them to walk across the street. She used her arm linked with Santana’s to hold herself up as she leaned over and reached with her other hand to her foot. She sighed and rubbed the side of it lightly then glanced back at Santana “I think my favorite stop is going to be the hotel. My feet are killing me in these heels.”

 

“Oh come on” Santana said with a laugh and a roll of her eyes “You can’t really tell me that you haven’t soaked in the variety of the city and enjoyed yourself just a little bit tonight.”

 

Rachel nodded and pulled off her heel. She then shifted to her bare foot, took her arm away from Santana, and used it to pull off her other shoe. She stood now just in her nylon clad feet, dangling the heels from her fingers “I have had fun. I really actually liked the bar that served food flavored martinis as appetizers to your appetizers” She laughed at how that sounded then shrugged it away “But I really am ready to call it a night.”

 

Santana looked down at Rachel with a smile that was half amusement and half complete admiration. “Come here” She said softly as she moved in front of Rachel now and after hiking up the bottom of her dress slightly, squatted down a little bit “Get on.”

 

“What are you doing?” Rachel’s eyes went wide in surprise as she watched her girlfriend in front of her.

 

“Giving you a piggy back ride” Santana said as if that should have been the most obvious thing in the world. She glanced over her shoulder then motioned with her chin “Hop on.”

 

“You don’t have to do this” Rachel said with a soft laugh. “I am capable of walking.”

 

“Rachel your feet are killing you” Santana said with a roll of her eyes. “I used to cheer, or did you forget that? I was even the bottom of the friggin pyramid when Sue found out about my boobs. I can hold a tiny ass girl like you on my shoulders for hours. Jump on so I don’t have to hear you complain for the next six blocks.” When Rachel opened her mouth to argue again, Santana narrowed her eyes and scowled, still squatting in front of her “Either get on my back or I will scoop you up and carry you like a caveman.”

 

Rachel rolled her eyes and fought off a smile as she gave in and approached Santana’s back. She thought it was cute how insistent Santana was being. She reached out and handed her heels over then gripped both of Santana’s shoulders and nodded “Okay on the count of three. One...” She lifted on her toes then dropped down and bent her knees in preparation of jumping “Two....” She repeated the actions but bent her knees more knowing she would need more lift. “Three!” With that she sprung upwards, giggling as soon as she hit Santana’s back and wrapped her legs around her tightly. Her arms slid around her neck and she squeaked “Don’t drop me!”

 

Santana barely even flinched when Rachel jumped on her. She was small, that was no secret, but she had never realized how light she was. It was like carrying a blanket made out of cotton balls. She straightened up and bounced a bit to slide Rachel further up her back to a place where she had a good grip on her. She glanced over her shoulder and smiled when she caught Rachel’s eyes “You ready back there?”

 

“I am! Now homeward my steady steed!” Rachel giggled and used her thighs to squeeze at Santana’s sides as if she were urging a horse forward.

 

“Call me a steed one more time...” Santana mumbled with a smirk as she stepped off the curb and headed toward their hotel. They immediately got a few weird looks from the people walking the other direction but she didn’t care. She thought it was funny. Once she hit the other side of the street and turned down the block she looked back over her shoulder “Can you imagine the headlines a paparazzi picture like this would get?” She looked forward to make sure she didn’t walk into anything then let out a laugh, lowering her voice to mimic a sleazy gossip news show anchor “Rachel Berry seen riding her mysterious girlfriend in public! Are there no boundaries for this up and coming starlet? Story at eleven!”

 

Rachel was cackling loudly at Santana. Everything about this was funny to her. She was getting a piggy back ride in downtown Vancouver. Santana’s impression of the celebrity gossip news show was on point. She could imagine the headline and the picture accompanying it and the uproar it would cause. There was absolutely nothing about it that wasn’t hilarious. She leaned forward and kissed Santana’s neck lightly “Now I kind of wish we were in L.A. just to see all the crazy gossip stories about us tomorrow morning.”

 

Santana turned another corner and let out a laugh of her own “You know what we should do? We should totally frame every story that comes out about us from now on. Make like a collage about our relationship according to the media. Then when we have kids we can show them when they ask us how we fell in love.” 

 

Rachel’s heart did a flip in her chest. Not only did Santana just use the words “fell in love” but also just mentioned kids. Two huge things all in one sentence and she said them both so casually? She felt herself going a bit numb as blood rushed through her body. Her ears were tingling as the words echoed over and over in her head. Santana had said the words without prompting? Maybe she really was serious about this.

 

“Rach?” Santana glanced over her shoulder with a laugh as she reached for the door to their hotel and pulled it open with a bit of a grunt. It was a little harder to maneuver with the extra three pounds on her back.

 

“Hmmm?” Rachel shook the thoughts out of her head and offered Santana a quick smile as she reached out to hold the door open so Santana could move them both through the door. “Sorry I was just imagining how funny that would be.”

 

“No you weren’t” Santana said with a laugh, waving at the employees at the front desk with a smile before heading toward the elevator. “You were freaking out about what I said.”

 

“What?” Rachel huffed and tried to cross her arms but remembered her arms were gripping Santana so she just shrugged. “Should I get down?”

 

“Nah” Santana bounced Rachel back up along her back then pressed the call button on the elevator before looking back over her shoulder with a grin “You were freaking out about what I said, just admit it.”

 

Rachel blushed and shook her head a bit. She turned to look the opposite way that Santana was turned, curling her lip up and crinkling her nose. She hated that Santana knew her that well. 

 

“It was just talk, Rachel” Santana mumbled as she stepped onto the elevator once it opened. She pushed the button to their floor then stared at their reflection together when the doors slid closed. “It didn’t really have to mean anything. People talk about that when they are in relationships and I know we have just started ours but we have known each other for years. I thought we could joke about it already.” She shrugged and offered a little half smile to Rachel in the reflection “I didn’t mean to freak you out.”

 

“You didn’t” Rachel said softly. Her hands around Santana’s shoulders moved to wrap a little more tightly and she kissed at Santana’s ear gently “I guess it just kind of hit me that you were serious about this.”

 

“Of course I am” Santana rolled her eyes and stepped off the elevator. She walked all the way down the hall and when they reached their door she finally shifted to slowly lower Rachel to the floor. Once Rachel was standing there beside her, she straightened up and turned to face Rachel with a little grin. She reached her hands out and slowly rubbed them up and down Rachel’s arms gently. “I don’t get into relationships lightly, you of all people should know this. How many real relationships have you seen me in?” She shrugged and lifted her hand to cup at her cheek gently, her eyes locked with Rachel’s deeply, her tone gentle but firm. “I’m in this, Rachel. And I’m not ready for kids or any of that but we can joke about it without it getting all awkward and serious, can’t we? Because like I said the other day, if we can’t joke anymore I can’t do this with you.”

 

Rachel nodded quickly and reached up to take one of Santana’s hands off her arm and held it between both of her small hands. She lifted it to her mouth and kissed at her fingertips before letting out a soft sigh “I’m sorry. I guess I’m not good at relationships. I mean, every time I’ve been romantically involved I’ve felt like I’ve had to walk on egg shells to keep who I was with from thinking I was nuts. I mean I gave Finn a cat calender and that was mild in my mind.” She bit her lip softly, fighting a smile. She had been a bit crazy in her youth. “I couldn’t joke about marriage or kids or anything like that because Finn always got that crazy wide-eyed panicked look on his face. Well, until he actually wanted to get married because he thought that was all he had left in life.” She frowned at that and looked away. She didn’t like thinking about that.

 

“Hey” Santana said softly, her hand moving from Rachel’s cheek to under her chin, pulling until her eyes lifted and met hers again. “You were young when you dated Finn. No teenaged boy wanted to talk about stuff like that. Of course he would freak. And, I mean, eventually you two became friends but you never really got to date as friends, if that makes sense. You always went from wanting each other awkwardly, to dating, to one of you messing it up, to the other hating whoever messed up, to awkwardly avoiding each other, to awkwardly wanting each other again, to dating again. There was never a solid foundation of friendship, just friendship, without tension. I think that is the difference here.”

 

“Because you and I have been friends, just friends without any intentions, for so long you don’t think we have that awkwardness?” Rachel bit her lip and nodded as she thought it over.

 

“Yeah” Santana said bluntly. “It will only get awkward if we make it awkward and I don’t want it to ever be awkward because that’s when you start to lose the friendship and if I remember correctly losing our friendship is the one thing we both feared most, right?” She gave her a soft smile and dropped her hand away from Rachel’s chin lightly.

 

Rachel nodded very slowly as a smile came over her lips. It made sense. Everything about this relationship with Santana was different than anything she had experienced in the past. She liked that. “Okay” Rachel said finally, stepping closer to Santana before leaning up on her toes and kissing her very lightly “You’re right, San. This doesn’t have to be awkward. I am just adjusting to the fact that friendship still remains within the realm of romantic relationship.”

 

“Well it does, baby” Santana smirked, giving Rachel a little nudge with her hip before turning to the door now to unlock it. “Now get your troll ass in the room before someone calls security and they try and take you back to your bridge.”

 

“RUDE” Rachel howled with a laugh as she walked into the room without looking back at Santana. She hated when Santana called her a troll but she knew now it was completely out playfulness and no harmful intent was behind it. That was the only reason she was giggling now and not completely offended. It was a learning process and she was learning that this was part of their friendship within their romantic relationship.

 

Santana smirked in amusement at herself as she kicked the door closed behind her then sauntered deeper into the room. She waited until she was standing at the foot of the bed where Rachel had taken a seat before she dropped the heels she carried with a thunk. “Now” She nodded before leaning over to pull the heels from her own feet one by one before dropping those in the same manner as the others “I think you owe me for carrying you six blocks in heels.”

 

“What?” Rachel laughed, glancing up at Santana between glancing at her legs as she guided her nylons off her knees and ankles carefully so as not to rip them. She still had four days of appearances to make and did not want to have to make an emergency trip to the store for nylons. “You offered to do that of your own free will. Besides what happened to you being able to hold my weight for hours?”

 

“I can still do that” Santana said with a roll of her eyes as she reached behind herself and pulled at the zipper holding her dress around her body. “And I might have offered but you accepted and by accepting you agreed to the terms and conditions and one of those conditions is you owe me.”

 

Rachel let out a ‘pfft’ sound and got to her feet, turning around so Santana could get her zipper started for her since it was a little higher up her back than she could reach. “Although you demanded I get on and gave me no choice to accept or decline, I will play along. What exactly is it that you think I owe you?”

 

Santana’s eyes traced the path of the zipper down Rachel’s back, smiling at the bare skin that was being exposed as it moved. She bit her lower lip when Rachel took control of her own zipper and stepped away, turning around to face her now, looking at her curiously. Santana just shrugged as matter-of-factly as she could and turned away from Rachel to move to her bag to grab out something to sleep in “A foot massage” she said as if it should have been obvious.

 

“Feet are so gross” Rachel whined as she wiggled out of her dress once it was completely unzipped. She stepped out of it delicately then, standing in just her bra and panties, moved to her wardrobe bag she had taken her dress out of earlier and gently started to place the garment back inside it. She would send it for dry cleaning when they got to Chicago in the morning.

 

“Tough” Santana shrugged, pulling on a tshirt to go with just her panties. She had discarded her dress into a pile on the floor which she would stuff in her bag in the morning, probably while Rachel lectured her about taking care of her clothing better. When she turned around and saw Rachel nearly naked with her back to her, she gulped and perked an eyebrow. It wasn’t a crime to look at her girlfriend’s body and enjoy it, right? She hoped not because she was definitely enjoying the view Rachel was offering. “Do you know how hard it is to balance in heels with someone on your back?” She mumbled to try to keep the conversation going.

 

“I thought you were a pro having cheered and all” Rachel said with a laugh as she zipped up her garment bag and turned around to face Santana again. That is when she realized Santana had been staring at her standing there half naked and she blushed. She bit at her lower lip and looked down at herself, crossing her arms before moving toward her bag to find something to cover up with.

 

“I didn’t cheer in heels” Santana said with a frown as she watched Rachel’s demeanor change. She moved over to where she was leaned over her bag and put a hand on her back “Hey, look, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I just, you know, turned around and there you were and I got caught staring for a moment because you’re so beautiful. That’s all.”

 

“It’s fine” Rachel stood upright and pulled a shirt over her head, smiling when her head popped out the top and she could see Santana again. “Look, like you said, this can’t be awkward or it won’t work. I used to change in front of my friend Santana all the time.” She saw the curious look Santana gave her at that and laughed as she brushed hair off her face then reached behind her to unhook her bra and slide it off through the arms of her shirt “Okay not all the time but I have before so that’s no big deal. Although now I know if I do see you looking it’s not because you are silently mocking me but silently wondering what my skin tastes like instead.” She gave a cheerful smile, patted Santana’s head, then bounced off toward the bathroom as innocently as a child skipping to church.

 

Santana nodded at Rachel’s words. She was a little too distracted by thinking about how Rachel’s skin tasted to actually respond though. Why the Hell did she have to go and say it like that? Now all Santana was ever going to think when she sees any amount of skin on Rachel is how it tastes! Santana’s eyes snapped shut and she fell onto the bed with a groan. Rachel Berry was a tease and she knew it. She had no doubt in her mind that Rachel had said what she said in that exact way on purpose just to mess with Santana. It might have been meant as a playful joke but Hell if it hadn’t gotten to Santana just right.

 

Rachel smirked to herself triumphantly in the bathroom mirror when she heard Santana flop onto the bed. It was very rarely she got the better of Santana at her own game. Santana was great at joking, teasing, and playing around. There was no doubt about that. As smart and quick as Rachel could be, she just couldn’t keep up with Santana’s wit most days. But this? Using Santana’s obvious physical attraction toward her to her advantage? Yes this was something Rachel could win every time, she was sure of it. It might not be right but for the moment she didn’t care. She liked winning, especially when it came to Santana Lopez.

 

With a frustrated huff, Santana rolled off the bed and went into the bathroom. She reached for her toothbrush and glanced at Rachel who was right in the middle of her nightly face washing routine. “You know that’s not fair, right?” She mumbled before stuffing her toothbrush with some paste on it into her mouth and started to move it around a bit too vigorously.

 

“What’s not fair?” Rachel blinked at her in the mirror with the biggest puppy dog eyes she could muster even if she knew exactly what Santana meant.

 

Santana rolled her eyes and mumbled around the toothbrush “Teafin me like dat.”

 

“Will you finish brushing your teeth before speaking to me, please? You are spitting on me” Rachel wiped at her cheek over dramatically before rinsing her washcloth. She splashed cool water on her face then stood upright and gave Santana a smirk that showed just how much fun she was having at the moment. She then reached for her eye cream and started to dab it on gently.

 

Santana leaned over, spit in the sink, then turned to look at Rachel in a huff. She still had foamy toothpaste on her lips and chin but she didn’t care “You aren’t funny, Berry! You know your little comment was like the biggest tease in the world. That’s just not fair.”

 

“Why not?” Rachel shrugged, not even blinking as her finger circled her eye and rubbed in the cream. “Is it because you aren’t getting what you want so you are pouting about it? Is it because I am actually getting a leg up on you and your sharp wit and you aren’t used to it? Or is it because you don’t know how to handle the fact that I am in complete control on this issue?”

 

“What issue?” Santana’s brow creased and she stuffed her toothbrush back into her mouth.

 

“Sex” Rachel shrugged casually and set her tube of eye cream back into her toiletry bag before pulling out her brush and starting to run it through her hair.

 

“Dis inn’t-” Santana stopped when Rachel scowled at her for once more talking with her toothbrush in her mouth. She rolled her eyes, finished what she was doing, spit and rinsed, then wiped her mouth clean. “Better?” She asked now that she was done and when Rachel nodded she rolled her eyes and continued “This isn’t about sex, Rachel. We don’t have an issue there. It will happen when it happens and I am totally fine with that. I told you that.” She folded her arms and frowned a little “But you have to be kind to me. I’ve had sex with a girl, I know what I’m missing, and having you flaunt what I want right in front of me knowing you are just flaunting it just isn’t fair.”

 

Rachel just rolled her eyes and set down her brush. She packed all of her things away, except what she would need in the morning, then turned and motioned for Santana to follow her as she moved out of the bathroom and toward the bedroom of their suite. She moved to the bed and sat down, patting the spot next to her and looking at Santana with a smile. She waited until the girl settled beside her before she reached out and took her hand gently “It is only going to get worse when we actually start having sex, San. Because not only will you know what you’re missing, but what you are missing specifically will be me and I will be right in front of you.”

 

Santana glanced down at where Rachel held her hand and just shook her head. Damn it, she was right. She hated when Rachel was right. How did they ever end up as friends? Rachel being right was one of her biggest pet peeves. She let out a sigh and slowly looked up, giving a little shrug “But once we actually start having sex and you tease me after that I will know that you are probably doing it just to work me up only to give into me later. I can handle that. What I can’t handle right now is not knowing when the giving in will be. Again, not complaining or pressuring you. I’m just saying it sucks a whole lot more now than it will in the future because, well, we will have less boundaries in the future than we have now.”

 

“We have boundaries now?” Rachel asked in genuine curiosity now. Santana had preached about everything being the same as it had been when they were just friends so she was interested in what exactly Santana meant by that.

 

“Of course we do, Rach. Through all of our years of friendship and sharing a loft and a bathroom and the many, many times seeing each other in towels there is one line we have never crossed.” Santana lifted her free hand and motioned it between them before drawing an invisible line and shrugging “We haven’t been physical. We’ve started breaking down that Berlin wall with the kissing, obviously, but there is still a huge hurdle we gotta hop over. Once we cross that line I really believe that it will be just as casual and normal as everything else we do together. Maybe not immediately because we definitely won’t be as used to having sex as we are having coffee each morning, but hopefully we will get there.” 

 

She let out a laugh at how that sounded and shook her head “I just mean that, yeah, I want to be able to tease and joke and just carry on as we have for the past couple years. But in regards to sex, we just can’t because we haven’t done that before. So it’s going to take time before it’s okay to use that to even the playing field when we get to joshing around with each other.” She lifted the hand that Rachel held and lightly kissed over Rachel’s knuckles. “Does that make sense?”

 

Rachel nodded very slowly. She had been fighting a blush the entire time and although her cheeks were slightly pink she didn’t feel silly about it when Santana caught sight of it. “I think so” She said softly. “We can call each other names, joke about little annoying habits, and even point out embarrassing things the other has done because we are so familiar with those subjects. But sex is new and we have to earn the right to poke fun at that, too.”

 

“Yeah” Santana said with a nod. “Like, remember when I first moved in and you and Kurt got super pissed when I snooped through all your shit and kicked me out?” She let out a laugh when Rachel rolled her eyes but nodded. She grinned at the memory and shrugged “That was too soon on my part. You were offended rather than amused. But since then you’ve caught me looking through your dresser and just shrugged it off, right?”

 

“Only because it doesn’t surprise me to see anymore. I mean, seriously? After two years  if you haven’t found anything what makes you think I am hiding something?” Rachel laughed very lightly. Santana was quite a character sometimes.

 

“Everyone hides something” Santana said plainly before laughing it off and nodding “But you’re right, it’s because it doesn’t surprise you anymore. Same concept. We have to get used to sex and all the quirks that come with that before we start teasing each other about it.”

 

Rachel gave a single nod and lifted her hand out of Santana’s. She cupped lightly at her cheek and ran her thumb along her cheekbone gently “Okay. But are you sure this isn’t just because you hate being bested by me and are pouting to get your way?” She batted her eyes and pouted out her bottom lip in mocking.

 

“Stop” Santana swatted at Rachel’s hand with a soft giggle. “No! Rachel, will you be serious about this, okay? I am completely alright with you getting the best of me because it happens so rarely it’s like a nice change of pace.” Rachel gasped at that and swatted at Santana’s shoulder but she just kept going through her laughter “But seriously, Rach, this is uncharted territory. Me? I’m totally confident in my sexuality and what I want. I could use my sex appeal to make your head spin without trying but I’m not going to and you know why? Because this is new for you, like completely new, and I respect what you are going through so I’m not going to make it hard on you or frustrate you. That is a surefire way to stunt your progress, your confidence, and make you doubt yourself.”

 

Rachel had to admit that Santana’s reasoning was really sweet. She bit at her bottom lip to fight off a swoony smile as her eyes dropped to look between them. She gave a little nod and took in a deep breath to calm her heart that was flipping around in her chest as butterflies swarmed around it. Santana could be so caring and sweet sometimes and it still caught her off guard. The fact that Santana already knew that she was nervous about having sex with her meant the world to Rachel. She had been dreading having to have that conversation with her and now she didn’t really have to. Santana just understood and that, well, that was more of a relief than she could ever admit. 

 

Her eyes lifted slowly and when she caught Santana’s patient gaze, her smile overtook her features and she gave another little nod “Thank you.”

 

Santana’s smile was soft as she leaned in to touch a light kiss to her lips “Of course, Berry.” She touched another kiss to her lips then shifted to face her better on the bed before wrapping both arms around her tightly and pulling her into a gentle embrace. When Rachel’s body just kind of gave in and leaned completely against Santana, she closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. Rachel trusted her completely and that meant the world to her. She was just so happy that this was working so far. Friendship, communication, and honesty seemed to be the key and they were doing a damn fine job at all three.

 

“For the record” Rachel mumbled against Santana’s neck before pulling out of the embrace just enough to find Santana’s eyes. She lifted a hand and used it to brush some bangs off of Santana’s cheek before giving her a smile “You pouting? Adorable. But you pouting because you want sex? Probably won’t get you any in the future. After the Berlin wall is knocked down, I mean.” 

 

Santana let out a breath of a laugh before pressing a kiss to Rachel’s forehead. “Noted. Pouting when horny is a great way to stay horny.” She pulled back from the embrace and started to look around, patting the bed as she did so “Now where did I put my notebook containing all things Berry-related? I really, really need to add this to my list of how to get laid.”

 

“Are you mocking me?” Rachel pushed her hands against Santana’s chest, breaking the embrace completely now and folding her arms.

 

“Of course” Santana snickered as if it should have been obvious. She smirked when Rachel huffed and leaned over to steal a quick kiss from her lips. “Now can we go to sleep? God you talk so much I’m not going to get any sleep and Chicago is going to be awful!”

 

“Me!?” Rachel gasped in disbelief, trying to hit Santana with a pillow that she had grabbed from the head of the bed but missing which only caused Santana to snicker more. She growled and turned around to crawl up the bed “You are the one that had to have a serious talk about how sex is a no-joking zone.”

 

“Shhhh” Santana breathed out over dramatically as she laid down on her side of the bed with a smirk. “Stop talking chatty. I have been trying to sleep for hours!” She was wailing and putting her acting skills to use now, pretending to be in complete distress over Rachel’s endless ramble even if she was actually not the reason they had just had that long talk.

 

“I am going to suffocate with your own pillow” Rachel growled and hit Santana with her pillow, this time actually connecting. She rolled her eyes and put her pillow back before clicking off the lamp and settling back on the bed and staring at the ceiling.

 

Santana just cackled to herself. She rolled onto her side, slid her arm around Rachel’s waist, then gave a firm pull until her chest was against Rachel’s back. “Suffocate me and you’ll be the cutest prison wife in all the land.”

 

“Whatever. No one would miss you. I’d be doing this Nation a great service, actually” Rachel huffed but didn’t pull out of Santana’s arm. She rolled her eyes but eventually smiled. She was glad they had agreed to keep joking with each other like they had before. She would miss it if it had gone away completely. 

 

“Rude” Santana mumbled before a yawn took over. She let it pass before shaking her head and closing her eyes as she settled on her pillow. She was silent for a moment before pulling her arm around Rachel more tightly and lifting her head just enough to touch a kiss to the back of her neck “Sweet dreams, Rach.”

 

Rachel smiled as goosebumps lifted where Santana’s lips had touched her neck. She hoped she never got used to that sensation. Her arm moved to lay along where Santana’s wrapped around her and she gave a squeeze in a sort of a hug motion before whispering softly “Sweet dreams, San.”

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

The rest of the media tour flew by and before they knew it, Rachel and Santana were finally home. The loft door slid open and Rachel stepped inside with a wide smile “It feels so good to be home.”

 

“It will feel even better when I can shower in my own shower and sleep in my own bed” Santana mumbled from behind Rachel as she stumbled through the door with her arms full of their luggage. She let out a grunt and dropped everything just inside the door before letting out a heavy sigh and glancing around. Everything seemed to be the same as before. She nodded in approval. She knew her cousin would be just fine with the whole throwing a party thing.

 

“I can not wait for that” Rachel said with an agreeing nod as she moved now toward the fireplace to look at the case where her Tony was held. She reached up and checked that it was locked. She then leaned in close trying to see if there were any smudges or fingerprints that she could see on it.

 

“Oh my god” Santana laughed weakly before reaching for the bags and starting to drag them further into the loft. “I swear to god you love that thing more than anything in the world.”

 

“I do not” Rachel said with a roll of her eyes before stepping away once she was satisfied that her Tony had remained untouched and undamaged throughout the party. “I just wanted to make sure no one touched it.”

 

“I told you Em put it in my safe” Santana grunted then gave up on the bags just outside her room. She decided that was far enough. She huffed and looked up at Rachel as she motioned to the bag “What do you even have in here?”

 

“All the swag I got from all my appearances.” Rachel shrugged and walked over to her bag. She leaned down and unzipped it before she started pulling out grab bags, wrapped gifts, and small packages that she had stuffed in there before their flight. She hadn’t wanted to buy another suitcase so she had overloaded the bags they had. “There is some in your bag, too.”

 

“What the Hell?” Santana laughed, her eyes widening more and more each time Rachel drew out another gift she had gotten on their trip. “Where did you get all of this? And more importantly is there anything good?”

 

“There is tons of good stuff” Rachel nodded, setting each new gift on the floor gently. She had them all lined up and smiled at each one fondly before setting it in line with the others. “Most of it is new designer make up or clothing that they want free publicity for so they hope celebrities wear it and get photographed in their stuff.”

 

Santana perked an eyebrow at that. Free make up and clothing? Jackpot. She smirked and leaned down, starting to open each bag just enough to peek into to see what was inside “Why didn’t you tell me about any of this? You know I love free shit.”

 

Rachel rolled her eyes but smiled a little “I was going to wait until we got home to go through it all so you wouldn’t wear any of it out and about on our trip and end up ripping it by giving me a piggy back ride.”

 

Santana laughed as she pulled out a compact and flipped it open “Please you loved the piggy back ride.”

 

“I did” Rachel nodded before standing upright once she was done. She looked at the line of swag she had received and let smiled “Twenty-seven random gift bags or boxes. I will never have to buy make up again.”

 

“Aren’t you just so fancy?” Santana smirked around a new shade of lipstick she was applying from one of the bags. She didn’t even ask, she just went for it. Once she was done she looked back to the little mirror in the compact then up at Rachel, puckering her lips before asking “What do you think?”

 

Rachel smiled down at her and nodded “A little too light for you but not bad.”

 

“Good thing you’re like ghost white” Santana snapped the compact closed with a laugh then dropped both items back into their bags and stood up.

 

“Firstly, I am not ghost white. I have a roommate who makes fun of my naturally light complexion so I’ve started tanning” Rachel huffed and folded her arms with a glare. “And secondly, why do you say it’s a good thing?”

 

Santana stepped over the line of gifts with a smirk on her lips. She slid her hands onto Rachel’s hips then slowly around to her back, pulling her until their waists came together. “Because if I wear this shade...” She whispered, leaning in now to touch a kiss against Rachel’s neck. She pulled back and when she saw the lipstick color left behind on Rachel’s skin, nodded in approval “then I can tell where I’ve been.”

 

Rachel’s eyes closed as a shiver ripped through her at the feel of the kiss to her neck. The end of the media tour had been even more packed full of interviews than the first half so any alone time spent with Santana had been spent relaxing or napping so they still hadn’t cracked through the Berlin wall, as they were now calling it. She was nearly at her breaking point because every day her desire to feel Santana completely was growing. Now that they were home and returning to a regular routine she hoped her stamina returned because she couldn’t stop thinking about it. “Where is Emily?”

 

Though that might have been an odd question to ask right after someone had so obviously turned you on, it didn’t surprise Santana one bit. She still had yet to tell her cousin about herself and Rachel and Rachel knew that. She was asking to ensure they had a little time for a make out session before she got back to the loft. “She said she would be back sometime after lunch. Being as it is only just after ten we have plenty of time for me to leave lip marks all over you if you want?”

 

Rachel bit back a moan and opened her eyes. Her hungry gaze lifted to Santana’s as her hands moved up her arms then slowly wrapped around her shoulders. She nodded very slowly, a slight smirk starting to lift on her lips as she stared at her girlfriend “I think I have about eight more shades of lipstick in those bags that you should totally try out all over my skin. Just to make sure you pick a good shade, of course.”

 

“For science” Santana playfully agreed with a smirk as her hands moved down Rachel’s back and over her ass gently. “That’s what I like about you, Berry. You are always willing to go the extra mile to make sure the problem gets solved.”

 

Rachel giggled as she leaned up to kiss at Santana’s lips just once before whispering “Maybe if we have time I can make a pros and cons list for each color you use.”

 

Santana laughed more heartily now and shook her head “Please never use a pro and con list during semi-dirty talk ever again. That is so not sexy at all.”

 

“Oh come on” Rachel said with a wide grin as her fingers played in the little hairs at the back of Santana’s neck “I bet you I can make a pros and cons list that will blow your mind it’s so sexy.”

 

“Doubtful” Santana shook her head but smirked in amusement. Rachel was such a nerd sometimes. “I’m just going to go shut the door then I’ll be in. You better be ready for the best make out session of your life.” She playfully nipped at Rachel’s lips before letting out a laugh.

 

“Don’t be too long. I have a hankering for some list making now” Rachel teased before returning the kiss.

 

Santana swatted at Rachel’s ass then stepped away from her. She turned toward the loft door but only made it about a half step before she froze. Her eyes went wide and her heart jumped into her throat as she realized her cousin was standing in the door way with a look on her face that told her that she had just seen everything.

 

“What...?” Emily motioned to where the two of them had just been standing then looked at her cousin in shock. “Ew! What did I just walk into?”

 

“Oh please” Santana held up her hands to stop her from continuing. She took a few steps toward her cousin then offered her an overly nice smile “Hi, favorite cousin of mine. How are you? I haven’t seen you in a week how about you come give me a hug and tell me how much you’ve missed me?” She held out her arms to emphasize that Emily should just not ask and come hug her instead.

 

“Santana” Emily mumbled, annoyed at the way her cousin was incapable of owning up to anything. “What is going on?”

 

Santana just rolled her eyes and dropped her arms to her sides. She moved to the door, passed Emily, pushed the heavy metal slab shut, then turned and motioned to where Rachel had already disappeared into her room. “So you remember how I told you I would tell you what happened that day that Rachel and I talked but I never did because we never really had time because I was too busy getting ready for the trip?”

 

Emily nodded and folded her arms as she stared at her cousin.

 

Santana put on another smile, this one more genuine than the one she used when she was avoiding a subject “Well it turns out that we both kind of had a lot of the same thoughts and feelings about each other and, well...” She shrugged and let out a soft laugh “Why don’t you look surprised at that?”

 

Emily just rolled her eyes much like Santana does and laughed “Please. I was the go between for the both of you. Why do you think I backed off you? As soon as I found out Rachel liked you too I realized it was something you two needed to figure out on your own.”

 

“Sneaky” Santana scowled for a split second then gave an impressed shrug “Well done. So I don’t have to tell you we confessed gross gooey feelings for each other then?”

 

Emily shook her head and grinned “No I figured that much out when the two of you were still talking to each other after that night. What I wasn’t sure about was the outcome of that conversation but considering what I just walked in on...”

 

Santana motioned to the spot she and Rachel had been standing in and nodded “Yeah, I mean we decided to just give it a go. Makes sense, right? We know each other well enough to know what we are getting into. Plus it beats pretending not to like each other and walking on egg shells for the rest of our time as roommates.”

 

Emily walked up to Santana and hugged her tightly. She let out a happy sigh as she pulled back and nodded “I’m so happy for the both of you. Now I can relax. It was so exhausting trying to keep both of your feelings secret from the other.”

 

“Thanks” Santana mumbled and gave her cousin a little bump of her hips. “And before you say it-”

 

“I was right” Emily piped up before Santana could finish her thought. She smiled triumphantly in a look that matched the same one Santana got on her face when she had been right about something.

 

“Right about what?” Rachel, who had realized Emily was home by the fact that Santana hadn’t come right to her room and was so obviously talking to someone, asked as she stepped into the kitchen.

 

“You two” Emily motioned between them then turned to the fridge to get out a soda.

 

Santana rolled her eyes then glanced at Rachel “When she first got here she made a stupid comment about how I so obviously liked you and kind of kicked my feelings to the forefront of my mind. So I guess you can thank her for that.”

 

Rachel let out a soft laugh and looked adoringly at Santana’s cousin “What she means to say is you were right and I owe you a huge muffin basket for being such a jerk about it.”

 

“Muffin basket?” Santana smirked and glanced at Rachel out of the side of her eyes. She couldn’t help but be amused at the fact that she had said muffin basket, especially since muffins were often used as nicknames for a certain part of the female anatomy. “I think she already has a muffin basket.”

 

“What do you mean?” Rachel glanced at her curiously.

 

Santana coughed and at the same time mumbled “Paige” before letting out a laugh.

 

Emily blushed at this and looked away. Rachel just swatted at Santana’s arm with a laugh “Don’t be crude! I meant a real basket of-” She stopped when her eyes caught sight of something under a tablecloth between the fridge and the counter. She arched an eyebrow and walked over to it “What in the world?”

 

“Don’t!” Emily lunged to stop her but it was too late. Rachel had ripped off the tablecloth and found the empty keg sitting there. She bit her lip and let out a guilty sigh. She was so busted.

 

Rachel’s jaw clenched in anger and she turned around quickly to find Emily. Her eyes narrowed in a fixed glare. She was physically fuming. Had she been a cartoon character steam would be coming from her ears. “Is this what I think it is?”

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~. 


	17. What are friends for?

“It’s mine” Santana jumped between Rachel and Emily before either one of them could blink. She grabbed Rachel’s shoulders and tried to catch her eyes to calm her down. “I ordered it for the fourth of July party we are having and the guy is obviously really busy with deliveries that day so I told him he could drop it off a few days early. Emily called me and told me about it a few days ago and I forgot to mention it to you.”

 

Rachel went from fire breathing anger ball to calm and collected in two seconds flat. Her face softened and her eyes focused on Santana gently. She took in a deep breath and a relieved smile came to her lips “Oh. I’m sorry. I just thought....”

 

“I know what you thought” Santana offered her a smile as she internally sighed with relief when she realized Rachel wasn’t about to go off on her poor cousin. “But I told you, Em is a good kid. I gave you my word.”

 

Emily just stood there looking at the floor because if she looked up she would feel bad for letting Santana take the blame and blurt out the truth. She was awful with lying. That is why whenever they got caught doing anything bad as kids she let Santana do the talking so they wouldn’t get in trouble.

 

“I should have mentioned it” Santana shrugged and kissed Rachel’s forehead before stepping away from her and half turning to look at Emily. “Thanks for being here when it was dropped off, Em. I owe you.”

 

“Hey guys!” Paige slid the loft door open just then and stepped in. She smiled widely when she saw Rachel and Santana were indeed home and quickly went over to greet them both. She hugged Rachel tightly then offered Santana a pat on the back before stepping over to Emily and sliding her arm around her “How was your trip? Did you guys have a blast? How was California? I bet it’s beautiful. I want to go one day.”

 

“It was awesome” Rachel nodded excitedly. Santana let out a soft sigh of thanks when the subject was adverted from the keg to their trip. Thank god for perfect-timing Paige. She would just have to call her keg guy tomorrow and get him to drop off a full one now that she was apparently having one for their party. She would also have to lecture her cousin on getting rid of evidence.

 

“I have so many pictures. Oh! I have so many grab bags of goodies for you girls. Every show I went on gave me one. You two can pick one as a thank you for watching the loft!” Rachel motioned over to the row of gifts still lined up in the little hallway between the bedrooms and grinned. “Let me go get my phone to show you the pictures!”

 

Rachel bounced off to her room and Paige went over to look at the gift bags. Santana hurried over to her cousin and growled softly “Why didn’t you return the keg?”

 

“He got held up in picking it up the next day and I kind of forgot to call him back to reschedule” Emily whispered quickly before turning and smiling as soon as Rachel came out with her phone. “Did you guys make it to the beach?”

 

“Sadly, no” Rachel frowned. “But we did get to see it from our hotel. Look at this view!” She handed her phone to Emily with a smile “Just swipe through. There are probably like a thousand pictures.” 

 

Paige joined Emily and the two of them huddled around the phone, smiling at each new picture. Santana glanced at Rachel who was watching the girls enjoying her photos and explaining what each one was. A smile came to her lips seeing her girlfriend so happy and a sudden pang of guilt hit her gut. She frowned and reached out to touch Rachel’s arm lightly “Hey, can I talk to you for a second?”

 

“Of course” Rachel smiled then looked back at the girls “Just keep looking. I’ll be right back.” She moved with Santana who was leading her into the hallway outside the loft. When she realized Santana’s demeanor was serious, her brows knitted together in worry and she spoke softly “What’s wrong?”

 

Santana slid the door closed behind her so her cousin wouldn’t hear what was about to be an argument. She looked at Rachel, drew in a deep breath, and let it out slowly “I lied to you.”

 

Rachel’s heart twisted. That wasn’t what she had expected and now her head was reeling with a hundred different things Santana could have lied about with each one being worst than the last. It happened like a flash before her eyes before she managed to put on a fake smile and ask calmly “About what?”

 

“The keg” Santana said plainly, not wanting to beat around the bush. “Look, please don’t get mad. I gave Emily the number to a guy I know who sells and delivers kegs. I also gave her the money. I just wanted her to have fun, you know? It’s summer and she’s just finished her first year of college, she should be partying.”

 

Rachel’s jaw clenched so hard it was a miracle her teeth didn’t shatter. Her eyes turned dark and she stared at Santana so fiercely you’d think she was trying to blow her head up with just her eyes.

 

Santana immediately felt her gut twist with guilt. She took a step toward Rachel but stopped when Rachel just pulled away. She let out a heavy sigh and nodded “I know I messed up but I didn’t think there was any real harm in it. I mean, look, everything is still standing and nothing is missing. She didn’t burn the loft down and there were no fights. Nothing is broken, there are no puke stains on the rugs, and no one is dead as far as I know.”

 

“That is not the point, Santana” Rachel growled the words angrily.

 

“I know” Santana said quickly, holding up her hands half in defense of herself and half to try and keep Rachel calm. “I know. I lied. It was all on me, okay? Please don’t be mad at Emily. I told her it would be alright.”

 

“I can’t believe you would go behind my back and tell your cousin to go against my wishes” Rachel folded her arms across her chest and shook her head. “That is a betrayal of trust, Santana.”

 

“I know” Santana repeated softly hoping Rachel knew just how seriously Santana was taking this. “But I live here too. I pay rent and I keep my stuff pretty clean and I just wanted Emily to feel as comfortable here as she would if she came to my house if I lived alone, okay?”

 

“But you don’t live alone, Santana. You live with me and whether you like it or not there is a level of respect you have to give to me when it comes to our home. We need to discuss things about our home and come to decisions together about it. I expressed very clearly that I didn’t want alcohol present at the party because of the fact that most of those in attendance would be underage. Do you know what could have happened if the cops would have been called?”

 

“Yes” Santana nodded quickly. “It was stupid, okay. I am not denying that and I am not defending my decision to go behind your back. It was disrespectful and I shouldn’t have done it. I take all of the blame. Emily is easily influenced by me and she thought it was okay.” She put a hand to her heart and frowned as sincerity filled her face “Rach, you know I’m rebellious and I do shit without thinking and I think it’s okay to be wreckless sometimes. Honestly, I didn’t think it was a big deal at the time. It was just a little beer, you know? But I was wrong and we were lucky they didn’t get arrested. I promise I will never go behind your back like that again. I just wanted my cousin to have a good time.”

 

Rachel just shook her head. It still amazed her that even after all the years of knowing Santana she was shocked at some of her actions. Sometimes she saw the best in Santana, saw the amazing person she had grown to be and sometimes she saw the same old girl from high school who had no regard for anyone but herself. She wondered if Santana would ever grow out of that. 

 

“Rach?” Santana bit her lip nervously at the amount of time Rachel had stood there silently thinking about what to say. It was never good when Rachel wasn’t talking. For all the times she teased her about talking too much she knew that a silent Rachel Berry was worse than a talking one, especially in cases like this. She reached out and gently put a hand on her shoulder “I’m sorry.”

 

“I’m not mad” Rachel mumbled with a roll of her eyes. She shrugged Santana’s hand off her shoulder and stepped around her toward the loft door. She slid it open and looked back at Santana with another shake of her head “I’m just disappointed.” With that she stepped into the loft and headed straight for her bedroom. She suddenly didn’t feel like being social.

 

Santana hung her head in shame at the last of Rachel’s words. A mad Rachel Berry she could deal with. But a disappointed one? That was like a punch to the gut. Sometimes she forgot she wasn’t still in high school. She hated the thought that she was losing that sense of free will and mischievous adventure that she had so loved about herself when she was younger. But she knew she had to grow up, too. If she wanted this to work with Rachel she really had to start thinking twice about her actions and how they would affect Rachel as well as herself. 

 

When Santana finally walked into the loft both Paige and Emily looked up at her curiously. “What was that about?” Paige asked softly, motioning behind her to where Rachel had disappeared into her room.

 

Santana sighed and pointed to the keg near the fridge. 

 

“Ah” Paige nodded and frowned a bit. “Yeah I totally forgot about that. Is she totally mad?”

 

Santana just shook her head and let out a heavy breath as a hand slid through her hair “She’s more pissed that I lied to her about it than anything.”

 

“Let me talk to her” Paige offered gently. “Maybe I can tell her it wasn’t your fault.”

 

“It’s fine” Santana lifted her hand in a gesture to stop her before offering a weak half smile. “I went behind her back, I will take the heat. Thanks for trying, though.” She moved over to the table and plopped down in one of the chairs. She reached for some of the mail that had piled up while she was gone and started to open it.

 

“Are you sure?” Paige asked softly, feeling bad that Santana seemed so upset about it.

 

“Totally.” Santana glanced up with a more serious smile before looking back at the mail. She tossed them each into piles by level of importance to give to Rachel later, a system that Rachel had taught her when she had first moved in and it had stuck ever since. Once she was done sorting the mail she looked up at Emily who looked guilty and rolled her eyes “Em, it’s fine. We’ve been through worse, trust me.”

 

“I just don’t want you two to break up because I wanted to have a party” Emily mumbled softly through a pout.

 

“Break up?” Paige’s eyes went wide and she looked at Santana with surprise. “What?”

 

Santana laughed and gave her eyes a roll “Yeah we finally figured some shit out and decided to stop being idiots.” Paige smiled widely at the news but Santana barely noticed. She looked at Emily and shook her head “And we won’t break up, Em. She needs some time to cool off and we will work it out so stop worrying about it, okay? Now...” She glanced between the girls before getting up from the chair and moving to the cupboard “Tell me what you two did while were gone.”

 

“Not too much, really” Paige said with a shrug, glancing at Emily with a smile before moving to sit at the table. Emily joined her and Paige put a hand on her leg. “The party was fun, though. The girls are still talking about it.”

 

Santana smiled at that as got up and headed to the microwave. She popped a bag of popcorn into the microwave and started it up. She turned to face the girls as it cooked and shrugged “Nothing fun happened? Nothing exciting? Did you rob a bank or go on a crime spree together?” When both the girls shook their heads, Santana rolled her eyes “Have I taught you nothing, Emily? At least tell me you got into some sex, drugs, and rock and roll?”

 

Emily laughed softly at that and shook her head before glancing at Paige with a bit of a secret smile on her lips “No, not really.”

 

Santana perked an eyebrow at the look that they had shared. She eyed them carefully as a slow smirk slid over her lips. “You two totally had sex.”

 

“What?” Emily squeaked when she spoke the word. She turned red immediately, which was impressive considering her darker skin tone, and shook her head. “Why would you say that?” Paige, meanwhile, was sinking slowly into her seat in attempts to disappear from this conversation.

 

Santana let out a loud chuckle of amusement as the microwave went off. She turned around to grab the bag from inside, shaking it as she strutted over to the table and plopped down with a smirk. She opened the bag and popped a few kernels into her mouth, crunching a few times before lifting her eyebrows playfully a few times “So how was it?”

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Santana stood outside Rachel’s sheet door and let out a heavy sigh. It had been hours since she had disappeared into her room and Santana was starting to fear the worst. Maybe they really would break up? No that was dumb. They had been through far worst than this. She just needed to talk to her. She cleared her throat and leaned against the sheet as she called out through it “Rach? Can I come in?”

 

She waited for a few moments for an answer and when she didn’t get one, she frowned slightly. There was no way she was so mad she wasn’t talking to her, right? No that was dumb. She let out a sigh and spoke louder “Come on, Rach. I just wanna talk.” She waited again and when there was only silence she let out a frustrated grunt. “Oh real mature. I’m coming in and you can’t stop me.”

 

She stormed in like a girl on a mission, her brows curled in a scowl, and her chest puffed out. She was about four steps into the room when she paused and realized Rachel had been silent because she was asleep. Santana’s face immediately softened and she smiled as she moved to the bed. She gently slid into the bed next to Rachel and settled behind her. She touched a kiss to the back of her head then came to rest against the pillow completely. Poor Rachel. She must have been so exhausted from the trip that she passed out as soon as she touched the bed. Their talk could wait, Santana decided. A nap was a far better idea.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Rachel’s eyes came open and she blinked a few times to adjust to the dim light that filled her room. She didn’t even remember going to sleep and now it seemed to be the evening. Oh no. She had so much to do before people started to arrive for the fourth of July! She shot up in a panic and immediately noticed Santana next to her in bed. She turned and gave her a quick shake to her shoulder “Santana, get up!”

 

Santana groaned and batted at the source of the shaking before rolling away. Rachel frowned at that and slid off the bed, moving around the bed to stand in front of Santana on the other side of the mattress “Santana, come on. We have so much to do!” She gave her another shake, this one more firm, causing Santana to bounce up and down. “Get up!”

 

Santana grunted and pushed Rachel away. “What the Hell?” She grumbled then rolled to her back. She yawned loudly and her eyes slowly started to open. When she saw Rachel standing at her side, she groaned and rubbed at an eye “What’s wrong?”

 

“Our loft is a mess. Our bags are still just laying in the hallway. We need to put fresh sheets on your bed and the pull out mattress in the couch. We need to pull out the roll away bed. We need to go grocery shopping. Our guests will be arriving soon” Rachel nodded then turned and left the room.

 

Santana sat up on the bed and looked around a bit confused before she remembered they were having a fourth of July party in two days. She rolled her eyes and got out of bed, stumbling sleepily through the sheet door and over to where Rachel was huffing as she tried to put everything she had pulled out of their bags back into their bags. “So I’m guessing we’re alright?”

 

Rachel rolled her eyes and pulled her heavy bag into her room as she spoke “I’m still upset but, yes, we’re fine. Now will you help me?”

 

“Why are you freaking out?” Santana asked as she took her own bag into Rachel’s room as well. They had decided to keep their luggage in Rachel’s room since Santana’s room would be taken over by guests soon enough. “People aren’t getting in until tomorrow.”

 

“No” Rachel shook her head and once her bag was tucked into her closet she moved back out into the hallway. Santana had to follow quickly to keep up with her as she moved and talked all at once “Quinn is getting in today, remember? She had to come a day early because her apartment was being sprayed for bugs.”

 

“Oh shit” Santana groaned at the reminder. She had totally forgotten, obviously. While Rachel grabbed fresh sheets, Santana moved back through the loft to her room and started to strip her bed. She curled her lip in disgust remembering that Emily and Paige had been naked on her bed while she was gone. She shivered and gagged as she tossed her dirty bedding onto the floor. She was happy for her cousin but she also didn’t need to picture them on her bed. 

 

“Here” Rachel tossed the fresh sheets onto Santana’s bed then moved back through the loft. She reached behind the couch and pulled out the roll away bed they kept back there. She grunted and groaned as she slowly rolled the heavy frame into Santana’s room. She let out a sigh when she finally got it where they needed it and nodded at herself proudly “I will go get sheets for this one, too.”

 

“Wait” Santana called, pausing in the redressing of her bed and glancing up at Rachel. “Who is that for?”

 

“Tina” Rachel said with a shrug before disappearing again. 

 

“Tina is coming?” Santana called loudly so Rachel could hear her.

 

Rachel rolled her eyes but didn’t respond until she came back with a new set of sheets. “Remember she called me in Chicago? I told her we had plenty of room.”

 

“Why is she staying here? Doesn’t she usually stay with Artie?” Santana tossed the fresh pillows to the head of the bed then started to spread out the new blanket.

 

“Artie is off somewhere filming something for his Senior project. Something about getting a head start” Rachel shrugged and started to dress the roll away bed. 

 

“So who is coming?” Santana perked an eyebrow in confusion.

 

“Tina, Quinn and Puck, Kurt but he is obviously staying at his place, and Mercedes and Brittany” Rachel rambled without hesitation as she focused on the bedding. When she was done she looked at Santana with a sigh “We talked about this, remember?”

 

“Yes” Santana said quickly “But I also forgot who all had confirmed. I didn’t think Mercedes and Britt could come?”

 

“They weren’t originally but Mercedes tour wasn’t extended until August so they have a month off” Rachel shrugged then moved out of the room now and into the kitchen. She had a pad of paper and was making a list of the groceries they needed for the party.

 

Santana followed and watched Rachel moving around the kitchen. She bit her lip and let out a sigh before clearing her throat and speaking softly “Do you think it’s going to be weird?”

 

“What?” Rachel asked mindlessly, her focus on the items in the fridge.

 

“Brittany being here” Santana shrugged then looked at her feet.

 

Rachel rolled her eyes and shut the fridge. She glanced at Santana for a moment and gave a shake of her head “That is ancient history, right?”

 

“Of course” Santana nodded quickly.

 

“You’ve both dated people since breaking up, what, two years ago? You two don’t even really talk regularly, do you?”

 

“Not really” Santana said with a shrug.

 

“If she’s really a friend then she will be happy that you are happy regardless of who you are happy with” Rachel moved now to the cabinet they kept dry food in and opened it to continue her list. “Unless you are the one that is going to have a problem with it.”

 

“Of course not” Santana moved over to where Rachel stood and lightly touched at her back. “That’s not going to be a problem. I’m so totally over her. I just didn’t know if it was going to be awkward for you because, well, you know our history. I mean it’s different when you date someone who doesn’t know your exes. But you do and you saw our relationship first hand. I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable or anything.”

 

“I won’t be” Rachel said blandly. She turned around and looked at Santana with a soft seriousness on her face. “I saw your relationship, yes, but I have also lived with you since the two of you called it quits for good and I’ve seen the difference in you. You don’t think about her the way you used to. You don’t mope when something reminds you of her. When you talk on the phone with her you laugh because she’s funny and pleasant and not because you are hiding the pain of unrequited love.” She smiled ever so softly and gave a slight shrug “I’m not worried because I’ve seen the change in you. I’m not worried because the way you used to look at her is now the way you look at me.”

 

Santana couldn’t help but smile at that. Her heart warmed and she felt herself melting a little on the inside. She had no idea Rachel had paid that much attention to her. It just showed how much Rachel really did care about her, even when they were just friends. “You’re right” She whispered, lifting a hand to touch her cheek lightly “The only one on my mind for a long time now has been you and you alone.”

 

“I know” Rachel smiled, leaning up on her toes to touch a kiss to her lips. “That is why it’s not going to be awkward for me.”

 

Santana nodded, still smiling like a big swooning goof as she touched a kiss to her lips in return “Now with that settled how can I help?”

 

“Change the sheets on the pullout bed, please?” Rachel didn’t even hesitate which made Santana laugh. It was funny how easily she moved between serious and sweet and back again.

 

“Yes ma’am” Santana gave a playful salute before moving to the linen closet to get another pair of clean sheets. The two of them worked in silence for a few minutes. Rachel finished the grocery list and Santana finished dressing the pullout bed. Once she was done she gathered all of the dirty linens and was now tossing them into the washer. After adding some soap and closing the lid, Santana turned around and caught sight of Rachel dusting the shelves and a smile overtook her features. They really did work well together. It made her heart fluttered just thinking about how amazingly they functioned. It was moments like this that she wondered how it took them both so long to figure out how good they would be together. It was probably because they were both too stubborn for their own good.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Emily was home by the time Santana and Rachel returned from the grocery store. She had just finished the dishes when they walked in and she immediately moved to help put away the food. The three of them worked in silence, packing the fridge and cabinets with the groceries they had gotten. It all barely fit so it was good it didn’t have to stay there more than a day because it would be hard to maneuver around it for more than that.

 

“So are you sure you are okay with staying at Paige’s while everyone is here?” Santana asked from where she sat at the table, drinking some water. She had one hand on the bottle and the other arm around Rachel’s waist who was planted on her lap.

 

“Of course! Her dorm mate is going home so we will have more than just a couple hours alone.” Emily picked at the sandwich she had made herself after putting everything away.

 

“Alone time, eh?” Santana smirked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. 

 

This made Rachel laugh and swat at Santana lightly “Stop picking on her!”

 

Emily blushed and rolled her eyes “I am regretting telling you.”

 

“You didn’t tell me, I guessed” Santana smirked and took another sip of her water. “Your mistake was calling to tell me you were thinking about it. As soon as I knew it made it kind of obvious.”

 

“Whatever” Emily mumbled around the bite she had stuffed in her mouth.

 

“No sex jokes while our friends are here, okay? I want her to have a good time and if you are embarrassing her the entire time she is going to hide instead of getting to know everyone” Rachel pointed at Santana firmly, chastising her slightly. “Please? These people are our family and she is your family. I want them all to like each other.”

 

Santana over dramatically rolled her eyes but smiled and gave her a nod “Yes, dear.”

 

Emily laughed softly at her cousin’s willingness to please Rachel. She loved seeing this side of Santana. It was something she had never experienced before. It made her happy to see.

 

“Thank you” Rachel cooed softly, cupping at Santana’s face and pulling her into a kiss. They let the kiss linger before pulling back then pecking a few more times. Just as the last kiss ended, the loft door slid open. Both Santana and Rachel looked over at the door, assuming it was Paige. When it was immediately obvious it wasn’t Paige, Rachel jumped up and rushed over with wide eyes “Quinn! Oh my goodness, I thought you were going to call us to come get you from the train station?”

 

“I didn’t want to interrupt what I assume was a crazy whirlwind of cleaning this place in anticipation of our visit” Quinn let out a soft laugh then offered an arm out to Rachel for a hug. The two old friends easily slid into an embrace, both girls smiling happily at the feel of it.

 

“I’m glad you’re here” Rachel said softly into Quinn’s ear before they pulled back and shared a smile. “Well since you’re here, come in.”

 

“Q” Santana said warmly, having stood up to greet her friend after Rachel. She pulled the girl into a hug and again there was a moment where two friends just embraced and enjoyed it. Once they pulled back, Santana laughed and reached for her bag “You’re right. We got back earlier this morning and Rachel was so exhausted she passed out. When she woke up and realized she had slept the day away she started scrambling around here while simultaneously cleaning and appointing duties to me.”

 

“Good to see some things never change” Quinn laughed warmly before her eyes fell on the stranger in the room. She eyed her for a moment then smiled “You must be Emily. I have seen your picture a hundred times at Santana’s but we never managed to meet. So nice to finally meet you.” She offered her hand for a polite shake.

 

“Quinn Fabray” Emily grinned and stood from the table, shaking her hand excitedly. “I am so excited about meeting you. Santana used to tell me all the epic stories about you guys in high school. I’ve always wanted to meet you.”

 

“My reputation precedes me, I guess” Quinn laughed and glanced at Santana curiously. She had no idea Santana had spoken so affectionately about her. Sure they had been pretty inseparable in high school but that didn’t mean they had always been on the best of terms. It was nice to hear that Santana had at least had some good things to say about her in high school.

 

Santana caught Quinn’s look and just shrugged as she rolled her bag into her room. She returned to the kitchen and moved to the table to grab her water bottle again “When is Puck getting in?”

 

“Tomorrow afternoon” Quinn nodded and moved back over to Rachel. She slid her arm around her shoulders and gave her another friendly sideways hug. The girls stood there together like that comfortably, as if they did it every day, as Quinn continued “We were going to meet up at my place and come together but with the spraying for bugs and me having to come early that changed. It’s fine though. That means I get a night with my girls before the boyfriend comes.”

 

“Girls night in!” Rachel pumped her fist excitedly. She gave Quinn a squeeze then looked at Santana with a smile. “We should all get in our pjs, turn on a movie, pop some popcorn, and catch up!”

 

“Wild woman over here” Santana said with a laugh at Rachel, tossing her empty bottle in the trash before turning and looking at Quinn. “I’m up for it if you are, Q. Just no alcohol. We don’t need a repeat of the failed Schuester wedding.”

 

Quinn rolled her eyes and laughed at that before stepping away from Rachel now to take a seat at the table. “God that feels like another lifetime ago.”

 

“What happened at the wedding?” Emily asked curiously, glancing between her cousin and Quinn. She knew how Santana was with booze so anything was possible and she was sure it was one Hell of a story.

 

“Okay so our Glee club teacher was finally marrying the woman he had been in love with for like years, right?” Santana moved to lean against the counter, her eyes lighting up at the chance to retell the story. “But she runs, leaving him at the alter.”

 

Emily gasped and frowned “Poor guy!”

 

“They’re married now so it’s fine. Long story” Rachel said softly, waving her hand to the side to indicate it wasn’t an important detail really.

 

Santana nodded and pointed at Rachel before looking back at Emily to continue “So he decides since the reception is already paid for and all us Glee graduates came into town for the event we might as well party even though he was all sad and heartbroken. So we party” She shrugged with a little laugh before adding “and there was an open bar.”

 

“And we just so happened to have fake I.D.s” Quinn added with a soft laugh. She looked at Santana and smiled “Still looking good, Rosario Cruz.”

 

“You haven’t aged a day, Emily Stark” Santana laughed, giving Quinn a wink. The two friends shared a laugh while Rachel looked on in amusement. She loved how easily they just fell back into their friendship as if no time had passed.

 

“So let me guess, you two got drunk and had a contest to see who could hook up with the richest relative of your teacher?” Emily glanced between the two of them, completely interested in this story.

 

“No” Santana laughed out softly. “That would have been fun though” She paused to give thought to it before waving it off and continuing “No. Q and I decided we were going to be each others date for the night because we were the hottest bitches in there. Also everyone else was all shacked up and it was depressing.”

 

“She was still in love with Brittany at the time” Rachel chimed in with a nod.

 

“And Quinn had a college professor boyfriend” Santana added with a roll of her eyes.

 

Emily looked at Quinn for confirmation. “I had just broken up with my college professor boyfriend” Quinn corrected.

 

“I had a friend who dated our English teacher in high school” Emily said with a shrug. “I guess that’s why that doesn’t shock me.”

 

“Now that’s just wrong” Quinn said with a frown.

 

“Yeah I know” Emily nodded in agreement. “Anyway, everyone else is shacked up so you two are getting drunk and....?”

 

“And...” Santana thought about it for a moment then just kind of laughed “Actually, I don’t really know how it started. We were dancing and being fierce bitches and making fun of people and the next thing I know we are giggling and stumbling into a hotel room.”

 

“The reception was held in the hotel ballroom” Quinn said quickly.

 

Santana nodded then continued “And, I don’t know, one thing lead to another and Q and I ended up...” She shrugged and lifted a hand as if indicating Emily should fill in the blank.

 

“You two?” Emily’s eyes went wide and looked between Quinn and Santana a few times in complete shock. “Wait, I didn’t know you were gay, Quinn.”

 

“I’m not” Quinn said with a soft laugh. “We were drunk and, you know, girls experiment in college...” 

 

“Thank god they do” Santana sang out as her hand lifted in a praising motion.

 

Quinn laughed but kept her eyes on Emily “It’s just something that happened. It was a one time thing.”

 

“Two time thing” Santana corrected, holding up two fingers for emphasis.

 

“Whatever” Quinn smiled and gave her head a shake. “It was one night so I consider it a one time thing.”

 

Rachel, who had been listening quietly, now stared down at where her hands were folded together on top of the table. The story had gone from completely amusing to totally unexpected really quickly and she wasn’t quite sure how to feel about it.

 

Santana was still laughing at the story when her eyes shifted from her cousin over to Rachel to share a smile with her. That was when she noticed Rachel’s eyes downcast and her laughter died immediately. Her brows knitted together and she felt her gut twist in guilt again. Rachel had known about that, right? She thought everyone knew. It wasn’t a big deal. “Hey Rach?” Santana cleared her throat and tried to get her attention “Don’t you have a photo album from that night?”

 

Rachel nodded and looked up at Santana quickly before looking away again “In my room somewhere.”

 

“Let’s go find it” Santana motioned behind her with a forced smile as if she was totally interested in showing Emily the pictures. “Is it on your shelf or in your closet?”

 

“I don’t really know off the top of my head” Rachel shook her head slightly.

 

Santana nodded and started toward her room “Well then come help me look. I want to show Em the pictures.”

 

When Rachel looked up and caught Santana’s eyes, she saw the look that told her she was trying to get her alone to talk to her. She didn’t really feel like it but when Emily chimed in that she would love to see the pictures, Rachel had to go. She let out a sigh and got up from the table. She moved around it quickly, mumbling “Be right back, guys” before walking right by Santana and into her room. Once inside her sheet walls, she walked right over to her shelf and pulled the photo album out, turning to hand it to Santana who had followed right behind her “There.”

 

“Rachel” Santana took the photo album but frowned and reached out to touch her arm. “I thought you knew.”

 

“Obviously not” Rachel whispered softly, folding her arms across her chest tightly and avoiding eye contact.

 

“I am so sorry” Santana shook her head, keeping her voice down so the other two wouldn’t hear. “It’s not like it was a secret. Everyone from glee club knew by the end of the year. At least I thought everyone knew. It was just, like Quinn said, a drunken one night thing. Friends get drunk and hook up. It honestly didn’t mean anything to either of us and neither of us have even thought about it happening again.”

 

Rachel nodded slightly and slowly brought her eyes up to find Santana’s. She saw the sincere look she held on her face and knew she was telling the truth. “I just didn’t know and I guess I kind of...” She shrugged and bit at her lip shyly before admitting in a soft whisper “got jealous.”

 

Santana couldn’t help but smile at the last of Rachel’s words. She lifted her hand to cup at Rachel’s face, cupping her cheek gently before leaning in to kiss her just once “There is nothing to be jealous about, Rachel. Quinn and I love each other in a completely platonic, been through a lot, kind of still could easily hate each other type of way. You have absolutely nothing to worry about.”

 

“I know that” Rachel said with a roll of her eyes. “The days where I was threatened by Quinn Fabray and the potential of her stealing away my significant other are long gone. I’m not worried you will suddenly remember your one night together and decide you want to be with you.”

 

“Then what is it?” Santana asked gently, not wanting to push if it was too sensitive a subject.

 

Rachel blushed very lightly and looked away from Santana to her feet. She just shrugged and drew in a deep breath before looking back to Santana shyly “I was jealous that she’s gotten to, you know, be intimate with you and I haven’t yet.”

 

Santana fought a laugh at Rachel’s words. There wasn’t anything particularly funny about what she had said but Santana found her words sweet and innocent and it was almost too adorable to believe. She cupped her cheek again and shook her head very lightly “We will get there, Rachel, and when we do I have no doubt in the world that it will be a million times better than what happened between Quinn and I. It will be with someone who I am crazy about. I’d rather wait a million years to be with you once than be with Quinn a million more times, okay?”

 

Rachel blushed again, this time because Santana’s words were warming her heart making her stomach flutter. She managed to nod before lifting on her toes to touch a soft, grateful kiss to Santana’s mouth. She hadn’t really been scared Santana would leave her for Quinn but it was always nice to hear the one you were with was just as crazy about you as you were about them. She let the kiss linger for a few long seconds before pulling back and giving her a smile “We’d better get back out there.”

 

Santana gave a single nod and moved to the side, motioning for Rachel to lead the way. She followed her out of the room and back to the kitchen, smiling as she lifted the photo album in triumph “Alright, who wants to take a trip down memory lane?”

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

The night before had been a whirlwind of laughter, sharing stories, and Funny Girl of course. Santana had surprisingly woken before Rachel and like usual started the coffee for everyone. Slowly each girl joined her in the kitchen and after everyone took some time to wake up, the day kicked into full gear. They had guests coming in all day so they needed to be ready, Rachel reminded them all before disappearing to start prepping for the day.

 

Rachel was in the bathroom now, finishing up from her shower when Quinn appeared in the doorway. “Hey Rach?” Quinn spoke softly, as not to startle her.

 

“Oh hey, Quinn!” Rachel lit up at the sight of her friend. She forgot how much she missed the girl until she actually got to see her again. They definitely needed to make more regular visits. “I’m almost done here” She motioned to her toothbrush which she had just applied paste to “Then the bathroom is all yours so you can be all nice and pretty for Noah’s arrival!”

 

“Thanks” Quinn laughed then glanced over her shoulder to where Santana was speaking Spanish into her phone. She looked back into the bathroom and shook her head before stepping inside “But I actually wanted to ask you something.”

 

“Sure” Rachel put her toothbrush in her mouth and started scrubbing away, giving Quinn a smile around the handle to indicate that she was listening.

 

Quinn but her lip lightly and brought her hip to rest against the bathroom counter next to where Rachel stood. “How long have you and Santana been dating?”

 

Rachel stiffened immediately and drew in a sharp breath. In doing so, she breathed in half the foamy toothpaste and it slid down her wind pipe which caused her to start coughing instantly. She leaned forward over the sink and let the excess spit drop from her mouth as she drew in breaths to try and clear the toothpaste from her throat.

 

“Shoot” Quinn hissed to herself and moved to pat Rachel on the back. “I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have asked that when you had anything near your mouth” She let out a laugh as she filled a cup with water and offered it to Rachel.

 

Rachel shook her head and coughed a few more times before taking the water and drinking it slowly. Once she felt like she could breath again normally, she set the cup down, reached for a towel to wipe her mouth, then looked up at Quinn with wide, red eyes. “What are you talking about? Santana and I are just friends.”

 

“Please” Quinn arched a challenging eyebrow and folded her arms as a knowing smirk lifted on her lips. “I have known you two how long? I can tell when you’re in secret relationships. For example, when you are trying to hide who you are dating you stiffen at the mention of them, act nervous whenever they are mentioned, and I saw the way you jerked your hand away from hers when you accidentally touched in the popcorn bowl last night. You are hyper aware of everything concerning the other person which makes it almost impossible for you to hide it.”

 

Rachel tried to roll her eyes in annoyance but it only half worked. She just shrugged and shook her head instead “Maybe I was just tired last night.”

 

“And Santana is soft when she is dating someone” Quinn continued, having guessed Rachel would have denied it. “I mean she is still a bitch to everyone else but when she is around the person she’s into she is total goop. I saw the way she had to not so secretly calm you down last night when you found out about us. I saw the way you two shared a bed last night even though I could have easily taken the pullout and she could have had her own bed. Don’t think I missed all the stolen glances and shy smiles she gave you all night while we were all catching up. And the way she made your coffee this morning? Please, even a blind person could see the way she acts around you.”

 

“For the record, we always make coffee for each other in the morning. We used to do it when Kurt lived here, too. Whoever got up first made the coffee for the others.” Rachel huffed and folded her arms with a bit of a pout.

 

Quinn just laughed a little and reached out to put a hand on Rachel’s shoulder “I’m happy for you two. I mean, I get it. I see the way you two are together. Ever since she’s moved in here she’s been a different person and it’s been good for her. But it’s been good for you, too. You’ve loosened up and relaxed about life in general. So I get it” She nodded and offered a very sincere smile “I won’t say anything to anyone else since it seems like you two aren’t ready for everyone to know yet but I can’t promise they won’t guess. You two should really be more careful with your gooey stolen glances and secret smiles.”

 

Rachel couldn’t help but laugh a bit at the last of Quinn’s words. She was kind of right, they did walk around looking at each other with total dreamy eyes. “Thanks” Rachel mumbled then reached out for a hug. She gave Quinn a quick squeeze then stepped around her with a little nod “And the bathroom is all yours.”

 

Quinn gave a grateful smile and waited until Rachel left to close the door and start getting ready for the day. Rachel just shook her head as she moved through the loft to her bedroom. She paused to look at Santana who was still rambling on in Spanish into her phone. It was probably her mother. When Santana looked up and caught her eyes, they shared a warm smile and Rachel’s gut twisted. Quinn was right. How in the world were they going to hide this from the group of people who knew them best?

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	18. Old friends, new love

Luckily the arrivals of all their guests that day kept everyone distracted enough that neither Santana nor Rachel had any real time to steal glances or act awkwardly hyper aware of each other. It was such a whirlwind of old friends, hugs, laughs, stories, and excitement that no one had any indication that something was going on with Rachel and Santana.

 

Tina was the first to arrive and when she found out she had to share a room with Puck and Quinn she had argued a very good case as to why she should move the pullout bed to Rachel and Santana’s room. “No one is going to be having sex” Santana argued with a roll of her eyes “These aren’t even real walls, Tina. Do you really think any of us want to expose ourselves to everyone else like that? We’re close but we’re not that close.”

 

“I’ve heard Puck having sex with just about everyone he’s ever dated while in Glee” Tina huffed with her arms folded over her chest. She glanced at Quinn and shook her head “Please don’t subject me to that. I just want to have a good time this weekend.”

 

Quinn rolled her eyes but offered a smile “I promise, Tina. Puckerman will be on his best behavior this weekend.”

 

“Fine” Tina conceded then looked at the others in the room. “So who all is coming?”

 

As if on cue, Kurt came strolling through the loft doors and excitement bubbled over again. It was like that all day. As soon as one person got settled in and the chatter died down, another person would arrive. After Kurt, it was Puck who immediately teased that Tina would be hearing, and seeing if she felt so inclined to watch, all of his best moves which sparked another argument that Tina should move the pullout into Rachel’s room. Quinn was again the most adamant about how unnecessary that would be. If she didn’t know any better, Rachel could have sworn Quinn was trying to make sure Santana and herself got at least a little alone time this weekend.

 

After Puck arrived, Santana and Paige had started to cook for the meal that night. Emily had attempted to help but immediately got told no by both girls in unison. It seemed Paige was already far too aware of how awful Emily was in the kitchen. Rachel had attempted to assist as well but got banned by Santana when she insisted on hovering over everything Santana was doing and not so politely correcting her cooking methods. Luckily Quinn once more stepped in and distracted Rachel with questions about her Tony before a fight could break out over the spatula.

 

Puck and Rachel had fetched the long banquet table from the storage closet at the end of the hallway in the building. Each apartment got a small closet located on their floor for external storage and though it wasn’t huge it managed to fit a few vital pieces that Rachel kept around for occasions such as this. She had learned after their first year living here and hosting several holiday get togethers with everyone that a large folding table was a necessity if she wished to continue hosting said events.

 

With the table now set up, it stretched nearly the length of the kitchen and living room. Puck had called the seat closest to the tv, which surprised no one. The table was slowly being filled with snacks for everyone to munch on while they waited for the meal to finish. Everyone was chatting politely, looking through the several photo albums that Rachel had pulled out after Tina found the one from the night before on the couch, and sharing stories of their time in glee with Emily and Paige. 

 

Rachel, on temporary allowance into the kitchen because she was the only one who knew where all the serving dishes were found, smiled as she watched the group mingling effortlessly “I think it’s going well.”

 

“Me too” Santana nodded as she handed over a bowl of salad for Rachel to put in the fridge to keep cool until the rest of the food was ready. “Do you think anyone has noticed anything between us?”

 

Rachel shook her head, keeping her eyes off of Santana just in case she might share what Quinn called a secret smile “I think we’ve been too busy to engage in any stolen glances. But we have to tell them soon.” She nodded to herself as she moved to the table to start setting it up.

 

“I know” Santana wiped her hands on the towel she had been using all day then tossed it onto the counter top. “I still can’t believe Quinn busted us. I mean it’s not like we were hiding it. We just wanted to tell everyone at once so no one felt like they were the last to know. People in this group get offended when that happens.”

 

“Especially Tina” Rachel mumbled with a soft laugh. She smiled as the group started laughing over a picture. It warmed her heart to see almost everyone she loved in one room. “How long until dinner is finished?”

 

“Half hour or so” Santana shrugged and walked over to the oven to look inside. She smiled proudly at the meal that was filling the loft with the delicious scent of home cooking before shutting the door and turning to look at Rachel. Her smile held as she looked the girl up and down and before she even realized it she mumbled to her softly “You look really beautiful today.”

 

Rachel’s lips twitched at the corner into a little half smile. Her eyes were still on the group as she mindlessly set up the table with plates and utensils. She was fighting the urge to look at Santana because she just knew her eyes would give them away. This was the first moment they had really had alone together all day and it was growing increasingly harder not to just look at Santana. She wanted to so badly. “Thank you” She finally muttered as she folded a napkin and placed it on top of a plate.

 

Before Santana could speak again and say something that would undoubtedly break Rachel’s will, the loft door was slid open and in true Diva fashion Mercedes stepped inside with her hands raised and a sashay of her hips “Fear not, Mercedes Jones is finally here!”

 

A round of laughter and applause erupted and the group all got up to greet her. Right behind her was Brittany, as bright and bubbly as ever, bouncing in and sliding the door closed. She didn’t even get a word out before she was consumed by a group hug that everyone had kind of just converged into without even talking about it. It was funny how this group of people still worked as one unit even after spending so much time apart living their own separate lives.

 

“Aww the band’s back together!” Puck cooed as he squeezed his arms tightly around whoever he was touching. The group all laughed and slowly pulled back from the hug. Mercedes was immediately grabbed by Tina who wanted to know all about hew new album and Quinn kept hold of Brittany’s hand as the two fell into a soft excited conversation.

 

Brittany’s attention span was only interested in Quinn for about five seconds though. When her eyes lifted and she saw a familiar face standing nearby she squeaked in excitement and lifted her arms out for a hug “M&M!”

 

“Cherry Britter!” Emily squeaked just as happily and the two girls nearly leaped at each other. They embraced in an excited hug for a few happy seconds before pulling back and both letting out a giggle.

 

“Cherry Britter?” Quinn asked, fighting off an amused laugh.

 

“Like cherry fritter? It’s, you know, a doughnut or something” Emily shrugged and gave Brittany another side hug. “I haven’t seen you in years!”

 

“I know! Look at how hot you are” Brittany stepped back and held Emily at arms length, taking all the time she wanted to look her over slowly. “I don’t know what your family did back in history to get such good genes but it worked.”

 

Emily let out a loud laugh and gave her head an amused shake. Everyone else just kind of stared in awe and confusion. Everyone but Santana who now moved over to the girls with a chuckle on her lips “Hey, if I didn’t know any better I would think you liked her more than me.”

 

“Nonsense” Brittany grinned and quickly wrapped her arms around Santana. Both girls closed their eyes and gripped tightly to the other. Even through everything they had experienced together they remained friends first and that would never change.

 

As the hug finally broke, Santana stepped back and offered her friend a more warm smile now “You look good, B. I guess that’s what happens when you’re dancing your ass of on the regular for a mega star like Mercedes Jones!”

 

Brittany nodded with another laugh and glanced around to look at Mercedes with a proud smile. She really was so happy for her friend and all the success she had found. She was just lucky that Mercedes had needed backup dancers for her tour or she wasn’t sure what she would be doing now.

 

“Wait, so you and Emily know each other?” Rachel motioned between Brittany and Emily curiously.

 

“Of course we do. I’ve known Emily just about as long as I’ve known Santana. We used to hang out all the time when we were younger.”

 

“Britt practically lived at my house from eighth grade until I graduated” Santana said with a little shrug. “I would even take her to Emily’s whenever I’d go there for the weekends.”

 

“I didn’t know you had such a hot cousin” Puck said with a bit of a smirk on his lips. “The Lopez genes are a gift to this Earth.”

 

Quinn whacked Puck on the back of the head for that. Emily just blushed shyly and shook her head “Fields, actually. I mean, I’m half Lopez. My mom and Santana’s mom are sisters but my last name is Fields, not Lopez.”

 

“You’re still hot” Puck mumbled then flinched out of Quinn’s reach just in case. Quinn just rolled her eyes and smirked at that.

 

“Who is this?” Mercedes motioned to a very awkward looking Paige standing just outside the circle of friends.

 

Everyone turned and looked at Paige which made her kind of shrink back a little. Though she had been introduced to Quinn, Tina, and Puck already she had kind of been lost in the excitement of the last two guests arriving. Rachel frowned a little and moved to take Paige’s arm, pulling her until she joined the group then smiled up at her “This is my friend Paige. Paige, this is Mercedes and Brittany.”

 

Paige gave a shy wave then looked over at Mercedes and smiled nervously “I love your music.”

 

“I like her” Mercedes pointed to Paige with a laugh before moving across the group and offering a hand for her to shake “Thank you so much. It’s always nice to meet a fan but even more so a new member of the group.”

 

“How long have you and Rachel been friends?” Brittany, who was already eating one of the appetizers that had been set out, asked.

 

“Almost a year?” Paige glanced at Rachel with a shrug. “We met early in the school year last year at the animal shelter.”

 

Brittany just nodded “How long have you two been dating?”

 

“What? No!” Paige went red and looked at Rachel with a quick shake of her head. 

 

Rachel let out a soft laugh and shook her head as well as she put a hand on Paige’s arm to calm her down “No, Britt, Paige and I are just friends.”

 

“Well you’re dating someone because you’re glowing and I just assumed it was Paige since she’s spending the holiday here instead of at home with her family.” Brittany spoke so nonchalantly, as if it just made sense.

 

Rachel blushed when Brittany pointed out that she was glowing. How in the world was it that obvious that she was in a relationship? It had been just over a week it wasn’t like her entire appearance shouted that she was happily involved, was it?

 

Seeing Rachel blush, Santana quickly cleared her throat and gave Brittany a soft nudge “No, B, Paige is Emily’s girlfriend.” She motioned between her cousin and Paige, giving them both a smile. “That is why she is spending the holiday with us instead of back home.”

 

“Plus I swim every day at school and even though the year hasn’t started yet we have optional team workouts and I want to stay in top form for the new season” Paige nodded and offered the blonde girl a smile. “Do you like swimming?”

 

Brittany shrugged and set down the plate of chips she had been crunching on before looking at Rachel “So where’s your boyfriend then?”

 

“What?” Rachel’s eyes went wide and she let out a nervous laugh. “Brittany what makes you think I have a boyfriend? I am just happy you’re all here and we’re celebrating our Nation’s birthday, and...” She realized that everyone in the group, except for those who already knew who she was dating, were staring at her. So she just put on a smile and motioned with her hand toward the fireplace display “Who wants to see my Tony?”

 

That seemed to be enough to get Brittany to drop the subject for now. The group started rambling excitedly about the Tony as Rachel moved to the case to take it out for everyone to see. As everyone hovered around and started asking a million questions, Quinn approached Santana, who had stayed back near the kitchen, and smirked “Our friends aren’t dumb. You two have to tell them.”

 

“I know” Santana mumbled with a shake of her head. “God, I always knew B was smart but who knew she was so intuitive? I didn’t even think she liked Rachel that much.”

 

Quinn just laughed and gave Santana a nudge with her hip “Believe it or not we all kind of became this super family unit who know each other a little more than we should.” She glanced at Santana and when their eyes met her face softened and she nodded “They will be happy for you two. Just tell them.”

 

Santana nodded and looked away. She didn’t know why she was so nervous about telling these people that she was happy. They had been nothing but supportive of her through the years. Any time any two people from their glee club had hooked up the rest of the group just kind of shrugged it off because it was no real surprise. But would they feel the same about her and Rachel? Because if she was being honest this was the last thing she had ever expected so she could only imagine how completely out of the blue it would seem to everyone else. She hoped Quinn was right, though, because if they weren’t happy about it she could only imagine how that would affect her and Rachel. They both held the opinion of this group in such high regards that if they didn’t approve it might be what killed their relationship before it really got the chance to take off.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

They were now in the middle of the dinner that Santana had spent a good portion of the day preparing for them all. The silence that had fallen over the loft as they had all dug into the food was now slowly dissipating as people started to grow full and returned to conversation around the table. Rachel sat the the head of the table, of course, and smiled as she watched her little family fall so comfortably into each other again. It was like fate, she thought. No matter the time that had passed or the space between them, when this group converged in one place they went right back to functioning as family all over again.

 

Rachel stood and cleared her throat, clapping her hands lightly to get everyone’s attention “Friends! If I may?” There were automatic groans from Puck, Santana, and Mercedes. It was like a knee jerk reflex whenever Rachel made a speech. It wasn’t even out of malice anymore it was just what happened when she stood up. 

 

Rachel, so used to the groans, didn’t skip a beat as she spoke “I just wanted to say how happy I am to have everyone here to celebrate the only holiday in the summer that I actually like.”

 

“Is it because you get to get wasted and play with fire?” Puck asked with that cheeky smirk on his face.

 

“It’s because without this great Nation being founded we would all live in overly oppressed countries and none of us would have met and all of our talents would be squandered” Rachel glared at him playfully then let out a laugh and continued. “As I was saying, nothing gives me greater pleasure than when this little band of misfits comes together as family. And though we are short a few staple members-”

 

“Artie is away being a weird film student” Tina chimed in with a nod, in case everyone didn’t know.

 

“And Sam is spending the summer with his family in Kentucky” Mercedes added with a nod, which got a few nods from the others because they had all wondered what he was doing but no one had asked.

 

“Mike has an internship that he can’t miss” Puck shrugged. He only knew that because he had accidentally called Mike last week and got to talking about the fourth of July.

 

“And we don’t talk about Blaine anymore” Kurt chipped in with a slightly bitter tone. Brittany frowned at that and rubbed his back lightly.

 

“And Finn” Rachel looked upwards and lifted her cup in silence. Everyone followed suit, except Paige and Emily who didn’t know what was going on. There was a moment of silence before Rachel smiled and brought her eyes back to the table. “We will always be a family. Whether together like this or off living our amazing lives it’s nice to know that no matter what I have people I can count on.”

 

“Preach” Mercedes called out and lifted her cup in a cheers type fashion. The others followed suit and after they all shared in a drink, the cups were set back to the table and everyone went back to what they had been doing before Rachel had interrupted.

 

“Wait” Santana shot up from her chair so quickly it almost toppled backwards. Everyone looked at her in surprise because she wasn’t really much for speeches. She was great at long insulting rants pointing out everything annoying about someone’s very being but she didn’t really do speeches. So the fact that she had so suddenly called for attention caught everyone off guard. No one more so than Rachel who was staring at her in what could only be described as horror.

 

Realizing what she had just done, Santana suddenly felt nervous. She just stood there looking at everyone looking at her and she so desperately wished she hadn’t shot up like she had. She wanted to sit back down and make a joke but nothing was coming to her. All she could see was Quinn staring at her, her eyes silently reminding her that she had to tell the group about her and Rachel. The words echoed in her head. She closed her eyes and shook them away, suddenly feeling her mouth go dry. She wasn’t sure she could do this.

 

“Is she gonna hurl?” Puck asked with a snicker which earned him an elbow to the ribs from Quinn.

 

“Here” Rachel stood up next to Santana, offering her a glass of water. “Are you okay?” Her concern was warranted and not out of character. Everyone else was kind of thinking the same thing.

 

Santana nodded and took a drink of the water. It only helped for a second, though, and her mouth was dry again. She took in another drink and once she swallowed it, cleared her throat and looked back up at the group “Rachel and I are dating” She blurted it out so quickly the words almost ran together into one larger word.

 

Jaws dropped. Tina dropped the fork she had been holding. Mercedes gasped. Brittany choked on her drink. Puck just got that little smirk he got when he thought something was hot. Quinn smiled. She was glad Santana had told them even if it had been completely graceless.

 

Kurt just patted Brittany’s back as she coughed and sputtered over the drink she had choked on. He turned and looked at the girls with a smirk that was half knowing and half relieved “Well it’s about time.”

 

“What?” Both Rachel and Santana said at the same time as their jaws dropped open now.

 

Kurt just did that light airy laugh and waved his hand to the side “I’ve seen it coming for years now. I know a little something about secret crushes and Santana has had it bad for Rachel pretty much this entire time.”

 

“What?” Santana sounded a little more annoyed now. Her arms folded and she plopped back down into her seat with a near pout on her lips. “I have not. I didn’t even know I was gay until junior year. Most of that time was spent thinking I was only gay for Britt.” She motioned to her old friend and shrugged “You can’t seriously sit here and tell me I had a crush on Rachel when I didn’t even like her half the time.”

 

“It makes sense” Tina chimed in now with a nod. “I remember a few random comments you made in jest that I thought were just that. But now that he mentions it I can totally see what he means.”

 

“And you two did always have killer musical chemistry” Mercedes added with a nod.

 

“That is ridiculous” Santana glanced at Rachel then back to the group “We are both just so talented that of course we would have killer chemistry when we sing. It’s like putting Beyonce and Lady Gaga together. It’s a no brainer that it’s gonna be good.”

 

“No this was something different” Mercedes continued in on her argument. “It was more than just two talents colliding.”

 

“So Emotional” Quinn now threw her hat into the ring with a little smile. “The song itself is about secret lovers which should have been a red flag to us all especially after you two killed it like you did.”

 

“That so happens to be a classic Whitney hit” Rachel now stepped in to help Santana in her defense. She couldn’t believe every interaction in the past was now being put on trial.

 

“And we nailed it because of our mutual love for Whitney” Santana added with a nod.

 

“Are you really trying to deny this right now?” Kurt arched an eyebrow and looked between the two of them with pure amusement on his face. “I’m trying to say I’m happy for you two. I’m glad you finally figured it out because it’s been obvious for so long.”

 

“It has not!” Santana huffed, growing more perturbed every time Kurt said that.

 

“It kind of has” Emily spoke now, which made everyone’s head turn to look at her. She bit her lip shyly when she realized she had everyone’s attention but she managed to push forward “Santana used to call me every Friday night and tell me about her week at school. She talked about cheer, glee, any kids she made cry, but two things stood out to me most during those phone calls. The times she cried over Brittany and how she lit up when she spoke about how annoying Rachel could be.”

 

Santana blushed when Emily mentioned her tearful conversations about Brittany. She had been going through a rough time and she knew the one person she could trust with her secret and all of her feelings about it was her cousin. She had done a good job and kept them secret until now. She glanced at Brittany then quickly down to her plate. She couldn’t defend herself now. Everyone knew about Brittany and how she had felt and the struggle she had gone through. Though she had been fairly strong through it all, everyone assumed she cried in private. She was human after all. But to hear it now just kind of brought a new truth to what Kurt was saying. Emily had no reason to lie and if Santana was so open about Brittany then it served well to believe that what she said about Rachel to her cousin had been just as candid and truthful.

 

“I’m sorry” Emily mumbled and looked at her plate too when she saw the way Santana kind of sunk in her seat. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you or pick on you or make you mad. I just kind of agree with Kurt. I’ve known for years, too.” This wasn’t really news to Santana. The first thing Emily had said to Santana when she had arrived at the beginning of summer was how she so obviously liked Rachel. This was all kind of Emily’s fault. Emily served as the nagging truth that Santana had not wanted to acknowledge.

 

Santana just shrugged and looked up at the table to where her cousin sat. “It’s cool, Em” She mumbled and offered a smile before looking over to Kurt and shaking her head “I guess I just wasn’t as aware of it as others were. And anyway what does it matter now? I figured it out eventually.”

 

“Thank god you did” Kurt said with a soft laugh. “Why do you think I moved out? If I had stuck around forever you two would have danced around this subject until the day you died alone and in denial.”

 

Santana rolled her eyes and glanced over at Rachel next to her. She motioned to the group of people who were all staring at them and saying that what was happening had been obvious to everyone else but her for years and shrugged “Did you know about this?”

 

“Me?” Rachel put a hand to her heart and gasped softly “You have got to be kidding me! Do you really think that if I was involved in some secret group who were all waiting for you to realize you liked me I would have lasted this long? I would have marched right up to you and demand you just accept it so we could move on and win Nationals.” She smiled proudly and glanced at the rest of the group “My priorities were obviously in the right order our Senior year. I guess that explains why it took everyone else so long to get to my level.”

 

“Oh boy” Quinn let out a soft laugh. “Here comes an epic speech about how Rachel saved our lazy butts from embarrassing ourselves at Nationals all over again.”

 

“This coming from the girl who was the actual reason we embarrassed ourselves the year before” Mercedes perked an eyebrow and folded her arms firmly.

 

Paige and Emily were just soaking everything in. It was such a weird dynamic this group held. They spoke like a family to one another, bringing up things that were funny, embarrassing, or just downright still fresh wounds to everyone. Yet no one was yelling or crying. It seemed they enjoyed poking at their past together even if there was a sort of lingering tension about it all.

 

“I did not embarrass us!” Rachel denied vehemently. “That was all Finn! I was there to win. He was the one that messed it all up.”

 

“Remember how pissed Santana was?” Puck snickered to himself at the thought. “We all thought she was going to strangle Rachel in her sleep that night.” He rubbed at his chin and perked an eyebrow now “But it makes sense now. She was pissed about Finn slobbering all over her girl.”

 

The group started to laugh at that. Some nodded in agreement and Tina, who sat next to Santana, gave her a playful nudge.

 

“Okay, seriously” Santana stood up from the table and gathered up a few of the plates around her. “Can we stop taking every little thing from my past and turning into some off the wall proof of how I’ve always liked Rachel and talk about something else?”

 

The laughter died down and a few people looked away looking a bit guilty. They hadn’t meant to upset Santana, not really. It was rare they got the chance to pick on her because she was always so untouchable so they were taking advantage of it. But now most of them in the group just felt bad.

 

“Dessert” Rachel broke the sort of awkward tension that had fallen over the room. She stood and gave a little clap before gathering some of the dishes as well. “We are all going to move to the roof to enjoy our dessert!”

 

“The roof?” Mercedes asked curiously.

 

“It’s the middle of the summer so it’s a nice night out. We are having ice cream sandwiches. What better place than to enjoy an ice cream sandwich than in the middle of a nice summer night? Hence, the roof” Rachel pointed upwards to indicate where the roof was, as if anyone needed a reminder. She then gave a few claps toward the group “Up, up, up! Emily will lead the way. I will be up shortly with a box of ice cream sandwiches. Until then...” She pointed firmly at Puck and shook her head “Do not light my building on fire.”

 

“Hey” Puck faked offense and held his hands up in mock surprise. “I don’t even have matches on me!”

 

“There’s a fire pit up there” Emily said with a soft laugh. “I am sure it was a preemptive warning.”

 

“Fire pit?” Puck’s eyes lit up and he quickly moved around the table to the loft door. He slid it open in one easy flick of his arm then turned and motioned with his head “Why the Hell are you dorks dragging your asses? Let’s go!”

 

Rachel rolled her eyes but smiled very softly at her old friend. It was nice to know that even thought Puck was now a serious adult in the armed forces he still had his childlike enthusiasm. 

 

“Do you need any help?” Paige offered as she approached Rachel with a hand full of dishes.

 

“Nope” Rachel grinned and took the dishes from her. “You go ahead with the rest of them. Just make sure no one does anything stupid before I can make it out there.”

 

Paige nodded in understanding then headed for the door. Most of the group had filed out after Puck and were heading up the steps toward the roof door. Paige slid the loft door shut behind her before jogging to catch up with them.

 

The loft was eerily quiet now. The empty table seemed almost haunted with the bones of the meal strewn about. Rachel smiled at that. It had been a successful meal. She turned to set the dishes near the sink and caught sight of a quietly stewing Santana. She was scrubbing the remnants of the food out of the pans and into the garbage, mumbling what Rachel was sure were curse words to herself under her breath. 

 

She let out a soft sigh and walked over to Santana, handing her a new pan once she finished with the one she was giving a verbal and physical lashing to. “Are you okay?” She asked softly, folding her arms once the pan had been taken from her.

 

“I’m fine” Santana muttered as she scraped the last bit of burnt cheese from the side of the pan.

 

“You seem fine” Rachel said sarcastically with a little shrug before turning and heading back to the table. She gathered up more dishes and brought them back to the kitchen before looking at Santana again. “San, don’t let them get to you. I mean, you know they are just teasing you because you teased them for so long. They are doing it out of love for you, that’s all.”

 

“Rachel” Santana growled, looking up from where she was scraping gravy out of the bottom of a pan. “It’s fine. I get it. They saw their chance to poke fun at me and they took it. I would have done the same. Had Sam been going on about how he just now realized his impressions are terrible I would have probably gone into a five minute montage of every horrible impression he ever did around me for emphasis.”

 

“Then why are you so...” Rachel shrugged and motioned to Santana’s very demeanor.

 

“Because” Santana sighed and put down the last pan. She folded her arms and looked up at Rachel with a look on her face that almost looked pained. She rolled her eyes looked up toward where all their friends were gathered on the roof and shrugged “I don’t like the thought of what I was going through being a joke to them. As if it was oh so easy for me to see if I hadn’t been so...” She shook her head and moved back toward the table to get more dishes “....so me all through high school. It’s like they are saying had I been a decent person I would have realized a lot sooner that I was gay and maybe I would have been nicer and everything would have been simpler or something.”

 

“San” Rachel breathed out through a frown. She moved over to her girlfriend and touched lightly at her back. “I don’t think they were saying that at all. I mean, I know that most of them don’t really understand the sort of self discovery you went through. It’s hard. I can’t even imagine how terrifying it was for you. But I think they see what you are now and how your fear and confusion seemed so....useless compared to how happy you are now, you know? They see the person you are now and how everything turned out fine and I don’t think they understand the struggle you went through to get to where you are so they poke fun a little bit because to them it’s no big deal. Maybe it was obvious to them and it seemed silly that you cared so much. They can’t be faulted for not fully understanding something they have never been through.”

 

“Kurt gets it” Santana turned around from the sink and looked at Rachel with that pained look still. “He was the one that instigated the whole thing, too! If anyone, he should have been on my side. He should have defended me and said that it’s not always easy to figure things out. But he didn’t. He was the one saying it was obvious. You know how stupid that makes me feel? Like he is some superior gay just because he has always been so in tune with who he had a crush on.”

 

“He’s just Kurt” Rachel said with a shrug. Her hand moved up and down Santana’s back slowly, trying to calm her in some way. She couldn’t really say she understood the process herself because even though she was there for Kurt and there for Santana, she hadn’t really ever experienced it. She just kind of realized one day she had feelings for her best friend and went from there. It was never about being afraid of people making fun of her for it. It just kind of happened for her. So she hoped Santana didn’t think she was trying to be a know it all about it. She wasn’t. She was just trying to bring an understanding to every side of this situation.

 

Santana just rolled her eyes at that before grabbing a towel and heading to the table to wipe it down. “He’s always kind of acted like the superior gay. I swear he thinks he is at the forefront of the gay right’s movement every time he farts.”

 

Rachel bit back a laugh and just nodded slightly “I’m sorry he hurt your feelings by pointing out what was apparently obvious to everyone but you and I.”

 

“It was not obvious” Santana mumbled as she scrubbed the table firmly. “And fucking Emily” She growled loudly before straightening up and looking at Rachel in despair “She had to go and open her big mouth about my crying over Brittany! I mean how awkward is that?”

 

Rachel just shrugged her shoulders as she watched Santana start to take her frustrations out on a spot on the table “It wasn’t awkward for me, if that is what you are worried about. Like we talked about last night, I am very much aware of your history. I saw it all unfold just like everyone else here. It doesn’t surprise me to hear you had a few rough times through it all. I don’t think anyone is surprised.”

 

Santana just grunted and used the towel to whack the table top before she straightened again. She moved back into the kitchen and hung the towel up before looking at Rachel with a bit of a pout “I hate showing weakness. You of all people should know this. It’s embarrassing when people point out moments in time where I wasn’t at the top of my game. It makes me feel stupid. So the combination of Emily telling everyone I cried over Brittany and Kurt acting like I was blind not to see what was happening in my own mind just sent me over the edge.”

 

“It’s okay” Rachel shook her head and reached out to touch at Santana’s arm. “Those people love you, okay? They have seen you at your very best and at your very worst. They have held you up when you didn’t think you could stand and they have also been knocked down by you when they thought they could trust you. We have all betrayed each other for no reason other than our own selfish motives. We have come together against all odds and risen to the top. We have been at the highest of highs and lowest of lows together. Through it all, we are all still willing to come together and celebrate each other. That’s because we love each other for the people we all are. That includes any moment of weakness you might have had even if it was impossibly minuscule. They aren’t judging you, they are celebrating you.”

 

Santana rolled her eyes and reached out to push Rachel softly because she knew she was right “God you are so gross when you get gooey over them.” She let out a soft laugh then moved over to the fridge to fetch the boxes of ice cream sandwiches. Once her arms were loaded, she turned and looked at Rachel and when their eyes met her lips twitched into a momentary smile of gratitude “I’m still annoyed about it but I guess you’re right. Let’s get this ice cream up there before they start the place on fire.”

 

Rachel smiled widely at that, giving a quick nod. She was so glad she had managed to defuse a potentially awkward situation where Santana got so irritated she yelled at everyone and kicked them out. “I’m actually surprised we haven’t heard the fire alarm going off yet. This is record time for Noah.”

 

Santana muffled a laugh and waited for Rachel to slide the loft door open since her arms were full. “I’m sure he’s working on it.”

 

“Then we better hurry” Rachel nodded, following Santana as they moved down the small corridor of the building toward the stairs that lead to the roof. Rachel once more opened the door for Santana then fell in step behind her when she headed upwards.

 

“I can’t promise not to snap if someone brings up my obvious crush on you in high school again” Santana mumbled just outside the roof door.

 

“Hopefully they will be too busy enjoying their ice cream to care” Rachel said with a shrug before pushing open the last door and letting Santana lead the way outside.

 

As soon as the girls stepped outside with the boxes of dessert there was a cheer from the group. Puck got up from where he was leaned over the fire pit feeding it various items he found around the roof to see if they would burn or not. Emily was standing near by, watching the fire carefully just in case Puck tried something dangerous. Paige was near Emily, talking to Tina about small town life compared to big city living. Mercedes, Brittany, Kurt, and Quinn were gathered together chatting about the tour. Brittany was trying to convince Quinn to skip her last year of college and go on tour with them.

 

“Come and get it” Rachel called as Santana set the boxes down on the little table she had brought up there just after moving in. As soon as the boxes were down, there was a swarm of hands ripping at them. It was like a pack of hungry dogs or something. Rachel let out a laugh as she stepped back, grabbing Santana to pull her out of the way as well “There is plenty for everyone so there is no need to shove. Noah!” She pointed at Puck and shook her head “You can not have an entire box to yourself! You will be sick.”

 

“Is that a challenge?” Puck smirked, dancing his eyebrows on his forehead playfully.

 

“That is common sense” Quinn grumbled and snatched the box away from him. She handed him two then set the box back on the table before turning to kiss his cheek “And don’t try and toast your ice cream only to get another sandwich. I can already tell you that won’t work.”

 

“Buzzkill” Puck frowned but turned to head back to the small fire he had going in the fire pit.

 

Everyone else got themselves some dessert then dispersed around the roof. It seemed they had all forgotten about the conversation inside. That was a relief to Santana. Seeing them all drop the subject so easily and move onto other things made it possible for her to forget about it too. She was glad she wouldn’t have to yell at anyone. 

 

Rachel gathered the empty boxes once everyone seemed to have some ice cream and took them over to Puck to burn in his fire, which earned her an excited hug. Santana laughed at that before looking around the roof at everyone. Paige and Emily were huddled together on one of the lawn chairs, their eyes skyward, pointing at the stars as they ate their ice cream. Quinn and Tina were now standing near the fire talking. She wasn’t sure what about but she could almost swear she heard a very heated “Brown is totally an Ivy League!” from Tina. Mercedes and Kurt were on another lawn chair looking at what were probably some of Kurt’s designs on his phone. Then there was Brittany. She had taken her ice cream and moved to sit near the edge of the building just outside the group. She looked a little sullen as she stared over the edge, carefully taking nibbles from her ice cream bar.

 

“Hey” Santana said softly as she approached her friend. She didn’t want to startle her and make her drop her ice cream. 

 

“Hey” Brittany looked up and offered her a bright smile. “Thanks for dinner, by the way. I don’t think I heard anyone thank you. It is really awesome that you guys do stuff like this for all of us.”

 

“Ah it’s no problem” Santana shrugged and pretended to dust her shoulder off before sitting on the edge of the building like Brittany was. She looked down to the streets below and smiled “Remember when we tried to spit on people from our hotel when we came here for Nationals?”

 

Brittany let out a laugh and nodded as she looked down as well. “Remember when I dropped my phone tied to my bra because I thought it would work like a parachute but it actually just shattered into a thousand pieces when it hit the ground?”

 

Santana let out a loud laugh at that and looked up at her friend with pure amusement “Oh my god I totally forgot about that! That was one of the funniest thing I had ever seen.”

 

Brittany smiled brightly at Santana’s laughter. It was good to hear it. They hadn’t talked in a long time. That was mostly because Brittany had been so busy with the tour. “I got in so much trouble when I got home.”

 

“I told you that I would have taken the blame for you” Santana said with a little shrug.

 

“It’s alright” Brittany held her smile and looked back over the edge “They weren’t mad for too long. My parents never really stay mad at me.”

 

“The Brittany effect” Santana said fondly, nodding in understanding. “I remember that. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t stay mad at you. I don’t think anyone could, really. How did you do that?”

 

Brittany just lifted both shoulders in an over exaggerated shrug and batted her big blue eyes at Santana “I have no idea.”

 

“And now I know” Santana chuckled at how adorable Brittany looked doing that. It was exactly how Brittany did it. She just played innocent so well that people simply could not stay mad at her. She was pretty innocent about a lot of it but Santana also knew how smart Brittany was and that the girl used everyone else’s habit of underestimating her to her advantage. 

 

A silence fell over the girls as their smiles faded and their gazes returned to the streets below. It wasn’t uncomfortable, the opposite of that actually. It felt really nice to be able to sit near each other, to talk and joke, and not have it be painfully unbearable on the inside. At least that’s how it felt for Santana.

 

“So hey” Santana broke the silence after a moment and looked back up to her friend. “I know it all kind of happened really quickly and unexpectedly down there at dinner but I wanted to make sure everything was alright.”

 

“Everything is wonderful, Santana” Brittany’s sincerity could be seen from space with how brightly it shone in her eyes. “I am so, so happy for you. And Rachel too, of course! I’ve always really enjoyed the fact that you two became such good friends after high school. She’s been good for you.”

 

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” Santana smirked and looked over her shoulder to where Quinn was standing. It seemed the two people she had known the longest must be seeing something in her that she didn’t know was there. It was good, though, so she wouldn’t fight it. “But yes, she has been” Santana finally nodded as she looked back at Brittany.

 

“You shouldn’t feel guilty for being happy with her, San” Brittany nodded, setting a hand on Santana’s leg now gently. “I haven’t seen you this radiantly happy for a long time. Even when we were together it wasn’t like this. She has something about her that is just made to make you happy.”

 

“You think so?” Santana perked an eyebrow curiously at that. She had always thought the only thing Rachel Berry held inside her for Santana was the gift of absolute annoyance. Maybe these people were right. Maybe with their outside perspective they had a much better view of what was really going on. She liked the thought of that. 

 

“I know so” Brittany said with a firm nod. “I mean you are better with her. You smile more, you’re calmer, you believe in yourself in a way no one has ever been able to get you to before. She brings out the part of you that you still don’t believe exists. The part of you that believes that you deserve to be happy.”

 

“You helped put that part of me in motion, you know?” Santana said softly, looking at her old friend with admiration in her eyes. “Don’t give her all the credit. You were the first to believe in me. You were the first to show me how awesome I could be. If I hadn’t had you I don’t think I would have ever discovered who I really am.”

 

“Maybe not” Brittany shrugged gently. “I am proud to know I will always be a part of the person you have become, San. But you’ve grown into an entirely new person without me, too, and a lot of that is because of the friendship you had with Rachel. Don’t ever discredit that, okay?”

 

Santana nodded again quickly before moving a bit closer to her old friend “I’ve always known you were a genius, Britt.”

 

Brittany let out a soft laugh and opened her arms to Santana. The two girls shared a brief hug before pulling back and meeting each others eyes with a soft smile on their lips “You were the first to tell me how smart I was. Who knew you were so right?”

 

Santana let out a soft laugh then stood up from the edge of the building with a nod “I knew you were smart. I could have never guessed you were a math savant, though.” She offered her hand to her friend to help her up from the side of the building.

 

Brittany took her hand with a grin and pulled until she was standing. She then shifted her hand in Santana’s until their pinkies linked together lightly. She gave her friend a little bump of her hip and motioned toward where the rest of the group had gathered around the now blazing fire “Shall we?”

 

Santana nodded quickly then lifted their hands together, giving a squeeze with her pinky before letting them drop and swing freely between them “Friends forever?”

 

“Always and forever, San.” With that the two girls joined the group and immediately split off. Santana went to Rachel, sliding her arm around her and touching a kiss to the side of her head. Brittany wrapped her arms around Quinn from behind and leaned her head on her shoulder. There under the dim stars above New York City the group of friends laughed and talked the night away with the quiet understanding that no matter what happened and what changed everything would somehow always remain the same.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.


	19. A little less conversation

Eventually the night wound down and everyone slowly started to give into the exhaustion caused by the long day of reunions, teasing each other, and Puck trying to start everything within reach on fire. When Rachel had reminded them all that she had a very busy day planned for them tomorrow to celebrate their Independence, the irony of that fact not lost on anyone, they had all gotten to bed without much fuss. They all knew when Rachel Berry had a busy day planned she meant she had every second planned and trying to keep up with little sleep was impossible.

 

With everyone in bed and the chatter slowly dying, the loft was now eerily quiet. There were a few shuffles here and there from people moving in bed but that was about it. Rachel smiled to herself at the sound of silence. She was like a proud mother after all her babies were happy in bed. Nothing brought her more joy than being able to celebrate with this group of people. 

 

After a yawn took over her entire body, she let out a happy sigh and settled her head against Santana’s chest. Her eyes closed and she smiled as the arm that laid loosely around Santana’s waist gave a soft squeeze “Did you have fun today?”

 

“I did” Santana nodded against her pillow, eyes closed, fingers gently dancing along Rachel’s back. “I am even more excited about tomorrow. After everything that has happened this summer I am looking forward to a normal day where you’re not a Tony winner and I’m not your mysterious maybe girlfriend.” She let out a soft laugh at that “We have had quite a crazy summer so far, haven’t we?”

 

Rachel nodded and let out a soft laugh herself “That we most certainly have. A little normalcy will be nice. Although with this group of people we both know normal is not the way to describe them.”

 

“Yeah but all the not normalness is exactly what’s normal in the group so I think it still counts.” Santana grinned and opened her eyes to glance down at Rachel. She dipped her chin just slightly, kissing the top of her head before settling back down on the pillow.

 

Rachel smiled very softly at the kiss to the top of her head. It was still crazy to her that this was really happening. That somehow she and Santana had fallen together like this. So effortlessly and yet, according to everyone they knew, so very slowly. But all good things take time, right? She was silent for a few long moments before she looked up from where she was laying on Santana and cleared her throat softly “Hey San?”

 

“Mmm, yeah?” Santana mumbled, having already started to doze off when they had fallen silent. She was exhausted.

 

Rachel bit her lip, slightly nervous to ask what she wanted to ask because it could potentially start an argument and that was the last thing she wanted to do. She lifted her head so she could look at Santana and finally spoke very softly “What did you and Brittany talk about on the roof?”

 

Santana kept her eyes closed for a few seconds at the question. She took the few seconds to think it over carefully before finally she brought her eyes open. She focused on Rachel’s face immediately and offered her a very soft smile “Us, mostly.”

 

“Mostly?” Rachel put her hand on Santana’s chest then laid her chin on top of it, her eyes never once leaving Santana’s gaze to show that she was calm and not at all interested in making a big deal out of this subject.

 

“Mostly” Santana repeated with a little nod of her head. She lifted an arm up under her head to prop herself up a bit so she could see Rachel a little better. She lifted her other hand off Rachel’s back and used it to push some hair from her eyes “We also reminisced about when we were here for Nationals.”

 

Rachel couldn’t help but smile at the mention of her first trip to New York. It had been one of the most amazing and crazy things she had ever experienced. “That feels like a different lifetime, doesn’t it?”

 

Santana nodded in agreement as her fingers slid back through Rachel’s hair “So much has changed since then. I’m not sure any of us are even close to being the same person we were back then.”

 

“I am” Rachel said with a little nod of her head. “I’m less naive about things in life but my goals haven’t changed. Well, I mean, my goal of winning a Tony has been accomplished so now I have to decide whether I should try for another or go for a Grammy next...”

 

Santana laughed softly at that and shook her head “A Grammy now?” She just nodded a bit before shrugging “Alright but I swear to God if I miss you winning that one I am going to throw a fit.”

 

“Me too” Rachel smiled before lifting herself over Santana just enough to touch a kiss to her lips. She then settled back against Santana’s chest and still staring at her, she let out a soft sigh “So that’s all you and Brittany talked about?”

 

Santana, figuring Rachel wasn’t done with the Brittany subject, just gave an amused smirk and nodded “Pretty much, yes.” Rachel nodded slowly but the look on her face showed that she was still thinking about it. Santana smiled and moved her fingers through Rachel’s hair again “What’s on your mind, Berry?”

 

“I just..” Rachel drew in a deep breath then let it out slowly before shrugging “You know I trust you when you say that whole thing is done but there is also a small part of me that is super insecure-”

 

“You? Insecure?” Santana gasped playfully then let out a soft laugh. She saw the pout on Rachel’s face and her smile faded away. “Hey” She whispered softly, her eyes starting gently into Rachel’s “Okay, you want to know why I went over to see if Brittany was okay with everything?”

 

Rachel bit her lower lip, a bit ashamed in herself for worrying, but nodded anyway.

 

“Firstly” Santana started immediately, having already known Rachel would have said yes “Brittany and I have been friends for longer than I can remember. I will always care about her feelings and maybe it’s habit but I kind of go into auto drive when I think she might be upset.”

 

“That’s understandable” Rachel said softly.

 

Santana nodded, glad to see that Rachel seemed to be willing to listen to her reasoning without jumping to conclusions. She definitely wasn’t the same Rachel Berry she had been the first time this group had come to New York, no matter what she thought. “So when I saw her sitting there I thought she might be upset. I wanted to make sure she was okay and not because it would make me feel bad if she felt bad but because...” She trailed off as she thought about how to put it. Her eyes shifted about a bit as she thought and when she finally figured out how she wanted to explain it, she brought her eyes back down to find Rachel’s awaiting gaze.

 

“When I started seeing Dani and I told Brittany about it, she said she was happy for me. Back then, that was the last thing I had wanted to hear because there was a part of me that hoped maybe Brittany would see me moving on and wake up, you know?” She shrugged slightly but didn’t look away from Rachel. She wanted to show her words were sincere. “But tonight when I went to talk to Brittany, I wanted to see how she felt not in the hope that she was secretly jealous but out of the hope that she was genuinely happy for me. And she was” Santana gave a little smile as her fingers moved down Rachel’s back gently “And hearing that she was genuinely happy for me, for us, made me happy too because in that moment it was like...” She shrugged and let out a sigh “Closure, I guess.”

 

“Closure?” Rachel perked an eyebrow slightly. “I didn’t know you still needed it.”

 

“I didn’t” Santana said with a shake of her head. “I mean, not in the way you are thinking. I’m over her, Rachel. I have been over her for a long time. There is no doubt in my mind that Brittany and I will never be anything more than friends ever again. The closure I got was to my own doubts and fears.”

 

Rachel gave her head a tiny shake “I don’t get it.”

 

“I think for so long I’ve been afraid of moving on because I never thought I fully could. I thought that no matter how much time had passed and no matter how great the next person I might date was that I would always hold back because they weren’t Brittany. As if no one could compare to what she and I had, you know?” Santana’s lips twitched into a smile as her voice dropped to nearly a whisper before continuing “But that doubt is gone now. Hearing she was happy for us didn’t hurt me. It freed me. I didn’t want her to be jealous. There was no deep down undying hope that maybe Brittany would change her mind. It was one friend being happy for another friend. For the first time since we broke up I knew I was going to be able to be completely happy without her.”

 

Rachel fought the smile that was growing on her lips because of Santana’s words. It was a short lived fight though and soon her lips were spread into a wide grin that stretched nearly ear to ear. “I like the sound of that.”

 

“Me too” Santana let out a soft laugh at just how adorable Rachel was at the moment. She lifted her head as her fingers moved to Rachel’s chin and pulled until their faces were just an inch apart “But do you know what I like the sound of even better?”

 

“Hmm what?” Rachel whispered, smiling in anticipation now.

 

“Me telling you that you, Rachel Berry, are the reason for that happiness” Santana whispered the words on a breath out and though they were nearly inaudible the silence of the loft made them sound like a yell. Just as the words tumbled from her mouth her lips closed the gap between them and captured any response Rachel might have had in a searing kiss.

 

Rachel was caught off guard by both the kiss and the words. There was a shiver that danced through her spine as her lips were consumed. The words seeped into her skin and seemed to ignite every nerve in her body. It was like a rush of pure energy that surged through her body and came together at her lips. What Santana had said to her sent a sensation through her that she hadn’t felt before and now as her lips parted to return the kiss she was trying to pass that feeling back to Santana so she could feel it too.

 

The moan that lifted from Santana’s lips showed that Rachel had succeeded in sharing the sensation that was coursing through her. She wasn’t sure where it had come from. It took her by surprise and after just a few brief seconds of sharing it with Rachel she had to pull back from the kiss. She blinked and drew in a deep breath, licking her lips slowly before letting out a trembling whisper “What was that?”

 

Rachel just shook her head, a soft smile coming to her lips as her hand lifted to rest against Santana’s cheek “I don’t know. The words you said and the way you kissed me just touched something inside me and...” She shrugged, letting out a heavy breath “I don’t think I’ve ever felt that before.”

 

“Felt what?” Santana asked still in a whisper. There was no need to speak any louder with how close they were laying together. “Because whatever that was, I want to feel it again.”

 

Rachel let out the softest giggle at that and nodded in agreement “It felt incredible, didn’t it?”

 

Santana nodded and licked over her lips again “I should totally say nice things to you more often if that’s the reaction I get.”

 

Rachel just shook her head at that, still smiling but less out of amusement and more out of admiration for the girl she was laying against “It wasn’t just saying nice things to me, San. It was that you meant them. You weren’t just saying them to appease me. You were sincere.”

 

“Of course I was” Santana lifted a hand to brush her fingers against Rachel’s cheek gently, watching the path her fingers took. “Rachel I don’t have any reason not to be honest with you. You know me too well to know when I’m lying anyway. So why not just be honest? I’ve spent too much of my life in denial and where has it gotten me?” Her thumb passed over Rachel’s bottom lip and a smile twitched at the corner of her mouth “I could have missed out on something incredible because of it. I’m done hiding things. I don’t have a reason to anymore.”

 

Santana’s fingers left a tingle everywhere they glided over Rachel’s skin. She had to close her eyes and draw in a deep breath to try and keep her focus on what Santana was saying. She was glad she managed to do so because what she was saying was just as incredible as her earlier words. She nodded her head and brought her eyes open again only to find Santana’s deep eyes staring right into her soul. “San?”

 

“Yeah?” Santana smiled very softly. As simple as it was, hearing Rachel say her name gave her butterflies.

 

“You’re going to have to stop.” Rachel nodded quickly, her voice trembling when she spoke.

 

“Stop what?” Santana’s brows knitted together in concern now, wondering what she had done wrong.

 

“Everything” Rachel swallowed. “The words you’re saying and the way you’re touching me is too much. If you don’t stop I am most definitely going to be breaking your word to Tina.”

 

“My word to Tina?” Santana perked an eyebrow now with an amused smirk lifting on her lips.

 

“You promised her no one was going to be having sex this weekend” The last of Rachel’s words barely made it out of her mouth. She shivered at her own words but somehow managed to keep her eyes locked with Santana’s.

 

Both of Santana’s eyebrows lifted on her forehead. She drew in a slow breath then let it out even slower before her hand that cupped Rachel’s cheek moved down along her neck “I am not going to apologize for being honest with you. I will stop talking, though, if that is what you really want.”

 

Rachel nodded quickly before leaning in to touch a few light kisses to Santana’s lips “Don’t ever apologize for being honest with me” She mumbled between soft pecks. On the last word she captured Santana’s lips in a more firm kiss, letting it linger. Though Santana hadn’t really said anything particularly sweet again, that same overwhelming sensation from before surged through Rachel as they kissed. She shifted now to hold herself over Santana so she was no longer laying against her. She lifted a hand to cup at Santana’s cheek, holding her in the kiss for as long as she could possibly stand it before the electric feeling moving through her overwhelmed her and she had to pull back.

 

Santana was breathless when the kiss ended. She had to draw in a few long, steadying breaths before she was able to open her eyes and find Rachel above her. She let out a breathless laugh and licked over her lips as her hand moved to slide along Rachel’s side lightly “Not that I am complaining because that kiss was incredibly hot but you never said you wanted me to stop talking...”

 

Rachel rolled her eyes and ran a thumb along Santana’s cheek “Are you always so clueless?”

 

“No” Santana said with scoff and a smile “But I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page because I would really hate to think one thing and you be thinking another and things get awkward when we-”

 

“Santana” Rachel cut her off, shaking her head in amusement “We’re on the same page.”

 

“Are you sure?” Santana breathed out softly, now suddenly a little nervous.

 

Rachel nodded quickly, licking over her lips again before giving her a smile.

 

Santana returned the nod as both hands moved down to grip at Rachel’s hips tightly now. She drew in a deep breath and let it out in a happy sigh “Okay. I just wanted to make sure because I knew you were nervous and I would never want to pressure you. You just said that thing about what I told Tina and I wasn’t trying to just assume you had totally made up your mind so I wanted to make sure-”

 

“You talk too much, Lopez” Rachel said with a smirk before leaning down and sealing anymore words that Santana might have left to say. She was done talking. The way she felt when Santana kissed her had made the decision for her. It felt more right than she had words for. So she wouldn’t talk about it anymore. She would show Santana just how amazing she made her feel.

 

Santana wouldn’t talk anymore. It was obvious Rachel was done talking and if Rachel Berry was done talking that meant there was no reason to talk. The way that Rachel was kissing her said everything that needed to be said. So instead of words, she conversed with Rachel through the kiss. Lips parted, tongues slid together, and soft moans lifted into the night. This was going to be the most important conversation they’ve ever had.

 

Rachel was glad when Santana gave into the kiss. She didn’t want to hesitate anymore. Her stomach was filled with butterflies and her body filled with what could only be described as need. She needed to feel Santana’s words flowing through her body. She needed to use her own body to tell Santana how she felt. She needed to express everything that had been going through her from the moment she realized she had feelings for Santana. The only way to do that was the only way they hadn’t been able to before. So she shifted her entire body over Santana now, putting a knee on each side of Santana’s hips and leaned against her, letting their bodies press together as she tilted her head and deepened the kiss.

 

A shiver moved through Santana’s body at the way Rachel felt pressed against her. As her tongue teased along Rachel’s her hands moved down the smaller girl’s sides to her hips. She gripped there gently, pulling her even closer before moving down both of Rachel’s legs where they straddled her, letting her fingers soak in the feel of the silky skin they slid over.

 

Goosebumps rose where Santana touched her. Her hips pressed down against Santana more firmly, silently begging for more of her touch. Each second they were tangled in a kiss and each new pass of Santana’s fingers were pushing Rachel forward. She needed more. Any doubt she might have had was dissipating each time she felt Santana’s heart beating against where their chests were pressed together. 

 

When Rachel’s hips pressed down again, a moan lifted from Santana’s mouth. Each move of her tiny hips pressed and teased against her in the perfect way. It was astounding to her that Rachel had never actually done this before. She was forced to pull from the kiss to catch her breath, trying to remain as calm as possible so she didn’t rush Rachel. Even if she said she was sure, the last thing Santana wanted to do was move too fast.

 

When the kiss broke, Rachel sat up slightly and licked at her lips as she caught her breath. “Are you okay?” She asked softly, suddenly worried she had done something wrong.

 

Santana laughed and nodded her head as her hands moved back up Rachel’s legs and over her ass. “I’m fine. I just needed a breath.” She licked over her lips and her hands moved off Rachel’s ass and up the back of the large tshirt she had worn to bed “Are you sure you’ve never done this before because you’re doing everything right so far.”

 

Rachel smiled and rolled her eyes slightly “Though I’ve never been with a woman, I know the basics. I’m sure I will fill in the blanks as I go. Now...” She reached down to the bottom of her shirt and pulled it up her body and over her head. She tossed it aside, leaving her now in just her tiny panties. She smirked and shrugged her shoulders “Girls like boobs, right?”

 

The look of shock on Santana’s face was priceless. She just stared up at a suddenly topless Rachel Berry. That was the last thing she had expected to happen. When Rachel posed her question, she managed to nod quickly and smile almost shyly “Most definitely, yes. Wow” She let out a heavy breath and just shook her head, unable to take her eyes off of the girl above her “You’re beautiful.”

 

Now Rachel felt shy. That feeling that had surged through her after Santana had told her she was the reason she was happy rose again quickly and washed the shyness away. It was replaced with that need to share that feeling with Santana again and she smiled softly “Thank you” She whispered as she leaned over her for another kiss, this one less frantic but just as passionate as the ones before.

 

Santana could barely catch her breath before Rachel’s lips touched hers again. As her lips took the kiss Rachel offered, her hands now moved to explore all of the skin that had been exposed to her. Fingers brushed over the dips and valleys of Rachel’s back, her touch so light it was like feathers. It was almost as if she was afraid to touch too hard, as if she were dreaming and Rachel could disintegrate under her touch at any moment.

 

The way Santana was touching her brought a field of goosebumps to her skin. She couldn’t remember if she had ever been touched like that. It was delicate and careful but confident and eager. There was something deep and intense about her touch even if it was so light she could barely feel it at all. Her back lit up with streaks of fire everywhere Santana’s fingers traced. It was almost too much but at the same time it only served to prove that she was right. This was right. This was the moment.

 

Santana’s fingers danced softly over Rachel’s skin. She traced each rib bone along her back then over her shoulder blades lightly. Her fingers trembled with every move of her fingers, with every inch of skin she consumed. Down over her shoulders and along her arms slowly before her eyes came open and she pulled back from the kiss. She licked her lips and drew in a steadying breath and she whispered softly “Rachel...”

 

Rachel blinked when the kiss was broken and she heard her name. She licked at her lips and pulled back just enough to meet Santana’s eyes, biting at her lower lip nervously, thinking she might have changed her mind “Yeah, San?” She let out a sigh as her hand moved to cup at her cheek very lightly.

 

Santana smiled up at her, lifting a hand to cup at her cheek as well, shaking her head slightly “I just wanted to...” She licked her lips and now shifted a bit to lean up off the pillow. She wiggled back and forth a little bit as she gripped at her shirt. Once she was finally able to gather enough material she started to pull it up her body “Even the score.”

 

“Here” Rachel said with a little giggle, reaching down to take the material she had bunched up and started to pull it. She watched as every inch of Santana came into view and once the shirt finally passed off her body and was tossed to the floor, Rachel drew in a deep breath as her eyes soaked in the girl beneath her. She smiled as her hand immediately moved to slide over Santana’s chest, right between her breasts, before she let out a happy sigh and lifted her eyes to look at Santana “Wow.”

 

Santana wasn’t shy when it came to sex. In fact one of her favorite things in the world was watching whoever she was hooking up at her take their first look at her body. But right now? It was different. It was new and it was a bit nerve wracking. For the first time in longer than she could remember she was nervous to see the reaction of who she was hooking up with. So when Rachel spoke the single word, she smiled shyly and shrugged her shoulders as her hands moved to rest on Rachel’s hips “Is that a good wow?”

 

Rachel nodded quickly, fighting a smile at the vulnerable look of uncertainty on Santana’s face. It was maybe only the second time in her life she had seen Santana anything less than completely confident. It was flattering and adorable all at once “A great wow” She finally whispered, hopefully putting to rest Santana’s fears. Her eyes dropped and she looked down again, this time studying the path that her fingers took as they moved around the bare chest. She grinned as she moved her hand all the way down to Santana’s belly button than back up slowly. Her eyes flickered up to Santana’s before nervously letting her fingers brush along the curve of one of her breasts lightly “They’re very nice.”

 

Santana swallowed down a moan when she felt Rachel’s fingers on her body. When her touch brushed along her breast, she nodded her head and smiled at Rachel’s words “Well they better be I paid a lot for them.”

 

Rachel frowned a little and her hand paused as she looked back to Santana’s gaze “I never understood why you did that.”

 

Santana shrugged and her smile faded “I know I was really great at hiding it but I had a lot of insecurity in high school.”

 

“Everyone did” Rachel said with a little nod. “But you still had time to grow. Do you ever regret it?”

 

Santana shrugged and propped herself up on her elbows, her eyes shifting to look down at her chest. She didn’t think about it, like ever. “No” Santana finally decided, looking up at Rachel now with a smile. With the way she had lifted herself on her elbows she was now within reach and used it to lean in to kiss Rachel just once. “Besides, I could get them removed if I ever needed to. And why are you giving me crap anyway? You almost got a nose job.”

 

“I’m not giving you crap” Rachel said with a quick shake of her head, lifting a hand to rest against Santana’s cheek lightly “I was simply curious. I’ve never felt it was appropriate to ask considering, well, why in the world would I ever talk about your boobs so casually?”

 

“Because we’re friends” Santana said with a laugh. She slid up more so she was sitting upright. She used an arm to wrap around Rachel to keep her so she was sitting on her lap, keeping them pressed tightly together in the shift. “Now” She whispered softly, smirking as she started to kiss over Rachel’s neck slowly. “Are you going to grill me about my tits or are you going to enjoy them?”

 

Rachel giggled at the feel of Santana’s lips on her neck. She nodded her head as her fingers moved through Santana’s hair then down her back slowly “Well I guess I might as well enjoy them since they are there and you don’t have a shirt on.”

 

“Finally. I thought I was going to have to throw myself at you” Santana mumbled against her neck before closing her lips around the skin there, giving a very light suck.

 

Rachel squeaked and pulled back, shaking her head in amusement as her hands moved up to cup Santana’s face in both hands “Don’t you dare. I go back to the play on Monday. Plus wouldn’t that be really hypocritical of you considering you nearly killed Paige for doing that to Emily?”

 

“Shhhh” Santana bit her lip to fight a laugh as she looked around them. She was quiet for a moment before looking back at Rachel with wide eyes “Did you forget we have a loft full of our oldest friends? You can’t just go squeaking and getting us caught like that.”

 

Rachel rolled her eyes and gave her a smirk “No biting. No hickey giving. If you promise me that I promise you no more squeaking.”

 

“Deal” Santana nodded and leaned in to kiss at her lips just once. “But when we’re alone you are in big trouble.” Her eyebrows danced playfully on her forehead and her hands moved along Rachel’s back lightly. “Now kiss me, please. You’re half naked on top of me and it’s driving me a little crazy.”

 

Rachel just smirked again and used her grip on Santana’s face to pull her into a fierce kiss. She liked that she could have that effect on her because quite frankly Santana was having the exact same effect on her as well. So she did what they both wanted and she kissed Santana with everything she had, once more erasing any doubt that she wanted anything else but this.

 

Santana shivered at the feel of the kiss from Rachel again. God she couldn’t remember the last time she had felt like this when someone kissed her. Maybe she never had. That thought sent another shockwave of a shiver through her and a moan lifted from her lips. Even if they just sat there and kissed all night she would be happy. Rachel Berry was one Hell of a kisser.

 

Just kissing is not what Rachel had in mind and she made that clear as soon as her hands dropped away from Santana’s face. Her fingers slid slowly along Santana’s neck and over her collar bone before dipping lower. Her hand cupped tenderly at her breast at first, not sure exactly what kind of pressure Santana liked. She could only go off what she knew she liked herself and hope that Santana would correct her. So she continued to cup gently as her thumb moved back and forth over her nipple lightly.

 

Santana’s back arched at the feel of Rachel’s hand against her chest. God was she good at everything the first time she tried it? Of course she was. How annoying. Santana laughed at herself for that thought and pulled back from the kiss to look up at Rachel. When Rachel’s hand stopped and her face looked panicked at the laugh, her eyes went wide and she quickly shook her head “I wasn’t laughing at you. God, no. That felt amazing. I was just laughing because you were so good at that and it’s annoying how you are good at everything you try.”

 

Rachel let out a relieved sigh and lifted her hand back to her breast “I thought I had already messed up.”

 

“God no” Santana smiled, her eyes dropping to watch Rachel’s hand on her breast again. She bit her lip to fight a moan as the tiny fingers teased her, playing lightly back and forth over her nipple, and tracing the curves slowly. She licked her lips and slowly looked back to Rachel with a dark hunger growing in her eyes “That feels so good, Rach.”

 

Rachel smiled shyly at the praise. She bit her lip to fight a smile as her eyes landed on Santana’s. The way she was looking at her made her breath catch in her throat and she had to quickly look away. She looked down at what she was doing, nodding her head at herself as her fingers continued to explore. “I’ve got to admit, they are really nice.”

 

“I think you said that” Santana whispered, her hand sliding up along Rachel’s side now. She kept her eyes locked on Rachel’s face even if she wasn’t looking at her. As another shiver moved through her and the nipple Rachel teased fully perked now, her own hand moved to cup at Rachel’s breast. She licked at her lips as her hand cupped lightly, immediately letting her thumb pass back and forth across her nipple, smiling when it perked instantly under her touch.

 

Rachel drew in a sharp breath and her eyes lifted to find Santana’s who was still watching her. She smiled when their eyes met and gave her head a little nod. She didn’t say anything she just leaned in and once more swept Santana’s lips up in a deeply passionate and needing kiss.

 

The next few moments were a blur of fingers teasing over breasts, lips, teeth, and tongues working hungrily together, and bodies writhing against each other. All hesitations were gone, melted under the fingertips that brushed over skin and fingers that tugged eagerly at each other for more. Soon Santana needed air and she broke the kiss once more. She didn’t pause though and her mouth moved down Rachel’s neck, scraping lightly but not biting even though she really wanted to. Her lips continued to move and soon Rachel was leaning back, welcoming her mouth to continue. Without hesitation Santana’s mouth moved until her lips parted and she swept a nipple between her lips gently.

 

Rachel’s head rolled back and she breathed out a heavy sigh. Her back arched and a shiver moved from where Santana’s mouth was working all the way to her toes. When she managed to roll her head forward, she smiled down at the view that was afforded to her. “That feels so good.”

 

Santana smiled against her chest and glanced upwards. When she noticed Rachel watching her, she let out a soft laugh and the nipple slipped from her lips. She nodded her head and without speaking just moved to the other breast, repeating her actions and sweeping that nipple into her mouth just like before, this time watching Rachel’s face twist in pleasure as she did so.

 

Rachel’s eyes snapped shut and she let out a trembling moan. Her hand moved down through Santana’s hair and along her back gently until her fingers found the top of the panties she still wore. She drew in a deep breath and before she could back down pushed at the material until she could no longer reach.

 

Santana pulled back from Rachel’s chest and looked down at where Rachel’s fingers were stretching to push at her panties. She smiled softly and lifted her hips to help her move the article off her body. They got about as far as her thighs before Rachel realized she was going to have to get off her lap to accomplish her goal. Santana laughed and looked up at Rachel, nodding as she grabbed her waist as Rachel started to shift “Careful.”

 

“I have extraordinary balance” Rachel mumbled as she lifted just one leg and moved to the side just enough to be able to pass the material all the way down Santana’s legs. Once she discarded them she moved to straddle Santana again but was stopped by Santana’s firm hands. She frowned and perked an eyebrow slightly “What’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing” Santana smiled, her eyes dropping to where her hands were now already pulling at Rachel’s panties. “I just figured since you were up...” She bit her lip and looked up, trying to read Rachel’s reaction before she would continue.

 

“Good idea. Two birds with one stone” Rachel smiled shyly and kept herself lifted to allow for Santana to remove the last piece of clothing that remained between them. She watched them move down her legs and be tossed aside once freed from her body. Now realizing they were both completely naked, Rachel felt a little shy all of the sudden. 

 

Picking up on Rachel’s hesitation, Santana’s hands moved slowly along her legs and to her waist, her eyes lifting to find Rachel’s eyes “You know it’s not too late to back out, right?”

 

“No” Rachel shook her head quickly and shifted to straddle Santana again. She bit her bottom lip lightly as she lowered herself to sit against her completely. When their bare skin touched, her eyes flickered closed and she let out a very soft sigh. It wasn’t the first time she had ever been pressed against someone naked but it was the first time she had been naked with a woman, with Santana, and it was igniting every single nerve in a way she had never felt before.

 

Santana smiled tenderly as Rachel settled back on her lap. The two of them sat upright together, faces just inches apart, their chests pressed tightly to one another. She licked her lips and leaned up just enough to close the gap between their lips, touching just a single kiss before she whispered to her “I’ll let you lead. Just let me know if it’s too much?”

 

Rachel nodded, one arm sliding around Santana’s back slowly as the other lifted to cup at her cheek lightly. She stared into her eyes deeply, smiling as their lips touched again “I’m ready.”

 

“Okay” Santana whispered back. Her eyes lingered open on Rachel for a few long seconds before slowly closing as she brought her lips to Rachel’s again. It was a slower kiss, more careful than before, but still full of need and passion. Her heart was thundering in her chest each time her nipples brushed against Rachel’s. Every breath she drew in caused a tease to her chest and as much as she enjoyed it she was keeping the kiss slow so as not to rush Rachel.

 

Rachel was glad for that. She was ready and she knew this was right but she was also more nervous than she wanted to admit. It was almost like being a virgin all over again but instead of not really knowing what to expect and being completely insecure about how she looked naked she was nervous about messing up or not being very good at it. So she was fine to just kiss and feel their bodies pressing together until she felt confident enough to move forward.

 

Santana shivered at the pure intimacy and intensity that was building between them. The kiss was intense. The feel of their bodies pressed together was almost completely innocent if not for the fact that they were naked. It was a picture of two people who cared for each other and wanted to express that to the other through the most basic human instinct. It was so tender and beautiful and Santana wasn’t sure she had felt anything like this before. This was possibly the first time she had ever grown so aroused by something as simple as kissing.

 

Rachel’s hand dipped between them, letting her fingers trickle down Santana’s body like a tiny waterfall. When her fingers reached Santana’s waist her touch move across her stomach and to her hip. Her fingers curled there, gripping at her lightly, pulling until their bodies were even closer together. Her touch was trembling now and she had to break the kiss again. She pulled in a deep breath, licked her lips, and smiled when she caught Santana’s curious eyes. She didn’t speak though. Her hand instead reached for Santana’s and without even blinking moved their hands together between her legs, guiding Santana’s fingers up against herself.

 

A sharp breath was drawn in by Santana when she felt where Rachel had guided her hand. She nodded in understanding though and let out a shaky breath, offering her a little smile. Rachel’s hand left hers and she immediately moved her fingers against her softly, sweeping back and forth through the needing heat that had gathered there for her. With each pass her fingers trembled less and her smile grew more and more.

 

Rachel fought closing her eyes at the feel of Santana’s touch. It felt more amazing than she could say but she wanted to see Santana’s face. She wanted to hold that eye contact, to share in the moment in every intimate way that she could imagine. Each pass against her caused tiny trembles of her back and thighs but she didn’t pull away. She just watched Santana watching her and after a few moments of making sure the other was fully ready, Rachel gave a nod, silently telling her to continue.

 

Santana didn’t need to be told twice. She had been reassured throughout this entire encounter and with the nod from Rachel she had the all the assurance she needed. She lifted her chin just enough to find Rachel’s lips and placed the tiniest brush of a kiss there just as her fingers curled and she gently slid inside her.

 

Rachel’s eyes snapped shut. As badly as she had wanted to share that eye contact with Santana, the feeling of her sliding inside her had overwhelmed her. So she had dropped her head forward, letting her forehead rest against Santana’s, letting out slow, trembling breaths. When Santana’s fingers started to move, a moan lifted from her mouth and a small smile flickered at the corner of her lips. It wasn’t as terrifying as she thought it might be and she now felt a bit silly for having been so nervous about taking this step.

 

Santana’s eyes never once left Rachel. As her fingers started to move, she watched for any sign of pause from the girl. When all she saw was a smile, Santana felt her heart flip in her chest. This was good. Rachel was alright and she wasn’t telling her to stop. A new wave of confidence surged through Santana and she let herself relax as she let habit take over. Her hand started to move a bit more quickly and her fingers began their skilled exploration within Rachel, searching for every last spot that would drive the girl wild.

 

When Santana’s fingers started to move more steadily, Rachel’s eyes came open and she straightened up on her lap. She glanced down through the small space between their bodies and watched how Santana’s hand moved between her legs. She smiled at the view, finding it sexier than she could have ever imagined she would. “That feels good” She whispered softly before beginning to move her hips in rhythm with Santana’s hand.

 

Santana smiled up at Rachel when her hips began to move. Of course she would be able to match her rhythm so easily, she was just that coordinated. Maybe what their friends had said earlier held some truth, too. Maybe they had a chemistry between them that just worked so easily. She smiled at the thought. With how effortlessly both her hand and Rachel’s hips were matching pace that might just be true.

 

“You can go faster” Rachel breathed out softly as her eyes lifted to find Santana’s steady gaze on her. Her lips creased into a smile and she nodded “Harder too, if you like. I’m okay, you’re not going to hurt me.”

 

Santana knew Rachel wasn’t a virgin but that didn’t mean she didn’t have her concerns. Rachel was so tiny and at times seemed so completely delicate. She wasn’t sure what kind of limits the girl held and she had wanted to be careful with her. But Rachel’s words were so sure, so confident, and Santana couldn’t deny how sexy that was. “Are you sure?” She breathed out against her lips before placing a soft peck there.

 

“Completely” Rachel smiled, returning the soft kiss as her hands moved down Santana’s sides slowly. 

 

That was all Santana needed to hear. Her hand paused just long enough for her other arm to steady Rachel against her as she shifted. She used her strength lingering from cheer and lifted herself out of her sitting position. She held Rachel tightly against her as she lowered her back to the bed and brought herself over her once she was settled to the mattress. She smirked down at Rachel’s shocked face and let out a soft laugh before leaning over her and capturing her lips in a fierce kiss. As soon as their lips touched again, Santana’s hand still buried inside her started to move with more focus, more intent. She had the leverage now and she was going to use it to her advantage. If Rachel wanted everything she had to offer, she would give it to her.

 

To say she was surprised at the sudden shift of position was an understatement. But she had barely had time to adjust to laying back when Santana’s hand had started moving again. This caused a gasp to escape her lips and her hips to arch up off the bed slightly. Santana was somehow deeper within her, somehow able to touch more of her, and it was already serving to drive her crazy.

 

The reaction from Rachel’s body was incredible. Santana licked her lips as she pulled from the kiss and held herself just above Rachel, watching her face twitch and her body jerk each time she drove her fingers into a new spot inside her. Each thrust inside brought new sensations to Rachel and Santana’s heart raced with delight at the tiny noises starting to rise from her lips. She noted which spot got which reaction and soon she had mapped out the path that got her the greatest response.

 

Rachel was completely helpless, it seemed. Her body was not under her control and she never thought she would like that fact so much but she did. Each time Santana dove into her a new wave of pleasure moved through her and ignited parts of her she hadn’t known she could feel. She did the best she could to keep her hips moving with Santana’s hand but it was a battle she was quickly losing. Her body was trembling and her muscles seemed to have gone completely weak. All she could manage to do was pant and twitch her legs around Santana’s hand every so often.

 

Rachel’s pants were growing louder and Santana moved over her a bit more, bringing her lips down over hers to touch light kisses there in hopes of cutting off the noises “Shhhh” She breathed out softly, smiling triumphantly at the fact that she was driving her crazy enough that she had no regard for the volume of the noises she was making. “You have to be quiet, Rach.”

 

Rachel’s eyes came open and she scowled up at Santana with a shake of her head as her hand lifted and gripped at the back of Santana’s neck “I swear to god if you don’t stop telling me to be quiet I’m going scream.”

 

“Well that defeats the purpose” Santana mused before touching another kiss to her lips. When Rachel let out another loud pant, Santana just smirked in amusement “Just don’t try and say I didn’t warn you.”

 

“Shut up” Rachel growled as her fingers curled in Santana’s hair and gave a little pull. It was brief and her grip loosened to allow her hand to slide out of her hair and down her back. With another few thrusts from Santana, her fingers were curling and she was drawing her nails over her flesh. Her eyes snapped closed and her head fell back as pleasure consumed her “Oh my god.”

 

The way Rachel’s reserve was crumbling and her body was slowly loosing itself was like music to Santana’s ears. Each new push of her hand and each new curl of her fingers brought a tremble around her movements and she loved it. There was a certain sense of power she got knowing that she was doing this to Rachel Berry, the one girl in her life she never thought she’d ever get to unravel like this. Her lips touched to Rachel’s again and she whispered softly “Get ready to scream.”

 

Rachel wasn’t sure what Santana meant by that considering she had just told her to be quiet but as soon as she felt Santana’s thumb tease over her clit without warning, she understood. She didn’t scream, though. She managed to somehow clamp her mouth shut around Santana’s shoulder, biting firmly to keep her cries muffled. Her body clenched up into Santana, almost curling around her if that could have been physically possible. Both arms wrapped around her back, both hands gripped into her flesh, and her legs closed tightly around Santana’s hand. As heat shot through her stomach and thighs she wasn’t sure she would be able to hold out much longer.

 

The bite against Santana’s neck caused a hiss but that was it. She had pretty much expected that reaction. She held a victorious smirk on her lips as her hand continued to move. Each time her fingers curled, her thumb teased back and forth. She did small circles then soft flickers and firm rubs. Each new tweak against her clit caused Rachel’s body to tremble harder and grip tighter to Santana. It was only a matter of moments now, Santana knew, and she wouldn’t stop until she knew Rachel had been driven over the edge.

 

Rachel’s teeth released Santana’s flesh but her nails did not. Streaks of scratches were sure to be seen after all was said and done but she didn’t care and with how Santana was continuing on she didn’t seem to care either. As Santana continued to work, Rachel knew she was done for. She had lost control of her body early and now as the heat that had built in her stomach and thighs rose she knew it was only a matter of moments before all control was resigned. Before she could give another thought to it, Santana’s fingers curled into a spot Rachel wasn’t sure she had known existed before and her entire body ceased. She drew in a breath and held it for what felt like hours but it was only a heartbeat or two. Then her body twitched. Her legs trembled and closed even tighter around Santana’s hand. The knot that had formed in her stomach unraveled at an alarming rate and Rachel was gone. Sparks of pleasure radiated from her core and consumed every inch of her from head to toe.

 

Rachel went completely stiff and gave a few violent twitches. Santana slid an arm under her waist and held her tightly against herself. Her hand slowed but did not stop. She wouldn’t stop until she knew Rachel had ridden out every last ounce of pleasure that was coursing through her. A smile came to her lips at each little moan that rolled out of Rachel’s mouth as the tremors that had taken over her body started to weaken and her twitches started to fade. Santana just continued to hold her tightly, letting her know that she was there with her, seeing her through it so to speak.When she felt Rachel’s body go from tense to weak in her arms was when her hand stopped completely and she brought herself to rest against Rachel’s spent body.

 

Rachel could feel nothing. She felt like her entire body had gone to sleep and was now waking up causing tingles to radiate through every inch of her. Her fingers that had dug into Santana’s body had released her and her arms had fallen to her sides. Her head had rolled back and came to rest on the mattress. She was pretty sure her back was pressed into the cool sheets below her but she couldn’t be sure. All she could feel was the tingles and the burning of her chest as she drew in deep breaths to try and find some semblance of control in her body again.

 

As Rachel laid beneath her and drew in steadying breaths, Santana slowly lifted herself above her. Her arm that had slid beneath her now moved out and allowed for her hand to trace along her side. The hand that had been buried within her now gently laid on one of her thighs, rubbing lightly as if trying to bring feelings back to it. She smiled down at Rachel and very gently leaned over her to place a kiss to her cheek before leaning into her ear to whisper “Just breathe. I’m right here.”

 

Rachel nodded to the words and licked her lips quickly. The sound of Santana’s voice had brought her back into her self and she started to regain feeling. The tingling started to fade and she was left with a warm, relaxed sensation through her entire body. A smile slowly rose on her lips and her eyes managed to finally flicker open. When she focused and saw Santana above her, watching her carefully, almost concerned, Rachel just shook her head and lifted a hand to touch at her cheek tenderly “I’m alright.”

 

Santana let out a soft laugh, nodding her head against Rachel’s hand on her cheek “I figured you were. I mean I’ve never heard of a girl dying via orgasm but there is a first for everything.”

 

Rachel let out a low laugh, which was replaced by a groan when she realized how sore her abs already were. “You only wish you were good enough to kill me.”

 

Santana smirked at that “The way you were laying there afterwards leads me to believe I’m not far off.”

 

Rachel just rolled her eyes at that. She couldn’t fight the amused smirk on her lips as her hand dropped away from Santana’s face and she just gave a very uninterested shrug “Eh.”

 

Santana gasped and pushed up off the bed to lift herself off of Rachel and bring herself back to sitting on her own feet. “That was so fucking rude” Santana laughed and jabbed Rachel roughly in the stomach which she knew was aching already. “You can go sleep on the couch for that.”

 

Rachel half laugh, half groaned and reached up for Santana with a pout on her face “No come back I was kidding. You know I hate when you get cocky, I had to knock you down a few pegs.”

 

Santana shook her head and gave her eyes a roll as she reached down and grabbed Rachel’s hand. She pulled at her until she was sitting up on the bed then slid her arms around her waist to hold here there since she was pretty sure Rachel couldn’t do that on her own. “You should really be nicer to someone who just rocked your world like that.”

 

Rachel nodded, a dreamy smile on her lips as her arms lazy wrapped around Santana’s shoulders and she leaned in to touch a kiss against her mouth “My apologizes. How can I ever repay you?”

 

Santana smirked a bit at that and returned the soft peck before mumbling against her lips “I’ll think of something I’m sure.”

 

“Good. Let me know when you do” Rachel mumbled with her lips against Santana’s. The two of them nodded then let their lips take over for a moment. The kisses were short and sweet, tender and caring. Neither of them wanting any thing more than to share in a few delicate kisses together. 

 

After a few moments, Santana pulled back enough to find Rachel’s eyes and offered her a smile “Now I heard this really annoying control freak has our entire day planned out tomorrow so we should definitely get some sleep so she doesn’t yell at us for dragging our feet in the morning.”

 

Rachel laughed very softly as her fingers played in the back of Santana’s hair “I hate people like that. How can you stand being around her?”

 

Santana just shrugged as her lips curled into a smile “It must be fate because I can’t escape her no matter how hard I try.”

 

Rachel gasped playfully and gave a little tug to Santana’s hair. Nothing harsh, just light and playful as a form of sort of revenge even if she wasn’t at all offended by her words. “I’m sure she’s just as sick of you hanging around.”

 

“I doubt it. I’m awesome” Santana sing songed then touch another kiss to her lips. She moved now, shifting to lay back against the bed, pulling Rachel down with her. Once she was settled, she reached for the sheet to pull over their naked bodies. It wasn’t that she was ashamed and needed to cover them together but rather the fact that they had a house full of people who could barge in on them at anytime. Though she had no reserves about people seeing her naked, she knew Rachel did and she wanted to protect that at all costs.

 

Rachel sighed happily as she settled in against Santana’s chest. She smiled as the sheet came to rest on her and her arm wrapped tightly around Santana’s waist. She was quiet for a long time, thinking about the night and everything that had happened. After a moment she lifted her head and looked up at Santana “Are you sure you don’t want me to do anything for you?”

 

Santana looked down at Rachel with a perked eyebrow. She let out the softest laugh and gave her head a shake “I’m totally content, Rach. Besides, when all that happens I want this loft to be empty and it to be the middle of the day so we have hours and hours to kill.”

 

Rachel blushed slightly but just nodded. Her head laid back against Santana’s chest and she smiled “But why would we need hours? You said yourself I’m good at everything I try.”

 

An amused smirk lifted on Santana’s lips and she let out a breath of a laugh “I have so much to teach you about sex with women.”

 

Rachel bit her lip at that. She had to admit she liked the sound of that and if whatever Santana had in mind was anything comparable to what had happened that night she definitely couldn’t wait to see what was in store. So she just nodded in acceptance and gave Santana a soft squeeze “Goodnight, San.”

 

“Night, Rach” Santana mumbled, returning the soft squeeze before letting her body relax completely. Something told her she was going to have the best night’s sleep she’s had in a very long while.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	20. Forever New Directions

Rachel yawned heavily as the alarm on her phone went off. She rolled away from Santana and reached over to turn it off before moving back to her back. A smile came to her lips as the events of the night before flooded back to her. That had really happened. Her head rolled to the side and she caught sight of a still sleeping Santana. She looked so peaceful. She rolled toward her again, placed a kiss on her cheek, then moved to get off the bed.

 

“Don’t go” Santana groaned softly, her hand reaching out blindly toward Rachel since her eyes were still closed. She had heard the alarm going off but had hoped that if she had ignored it they could just stay in bed all day.

 

“We have to get up” Rachel glanced over her shoulder with a soft laugh before moving through her room toward her dresser. “We have an entire day of activities planned!”

 

“No you have an entire day planned. I want to lay here and enjoy my day off. I swear we have been going non-stop all summer long.” Santana rolled to her side and pulled the sheet over herself tightly. She frowned and her eyes came open slowly. She knew that now that she was awake she wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep, especially since Rachel wasn’t beside her anymore.

 

“You’ll enjoy today, I promise.” Rachel gathered an outfit to wear and placed it on the end of the bed before leaning down to pull her discarded shirt from the night before back over her body. Once she was covered, she searched for a pair of shorts to go with it. They had guests, after all, and she did not feel like giving any of them a free show if her shirt crept up her legs.

 

Santana was still pouting as she watched Rachel move around the room. “I am already not enjoying today. It’s early, you’re out of bed, you’re not naked anymore, and you haven’t even given me a kiss. Today sucks.”

 

“You are so cranky in the morning” Rachel said with a roll of her eyes and a laugh. She moved over to where Santana lay in bed and leaned over to touch a kiss against her forehead. “There. Will you get up and start getting ready now?”

 

“No” Santana whined out playfully as her arms quickly wrapped around Rachel and swept her off her feet. She laughed as the girl squeaked and tumbled back into bed with her. Once she had Rachel trapped on top of her, she grinned widely “Okay, today is getting better. Don’t you wanna see how good it could be if we just stayed here all day.”

 

“Santana I swear” Rachel shook her head, laughing very softly as she tried to push away and out of her arms. When that only caused Santana to tighten her grip, she frowned and gave a weak thump of her fist against her chest “Let me go! I need to go make coffee for everyone then get in the shower!”

 

“Can I come with?” Santana perked up at the mention of the shower.

 

Rachel rolled her eyes at that “If I say yes will you get out of bed?”

 

“Yes” Santana nodded, lifting her hand to give her a playful salute “Scout’s honor.”

 

“You were never a scout” Rachel said with another roll of her eyes. She placed a kiss to her lips then pushed with both hands until she felt Santana’s grip loosen “Yes, you can come shower with me.” When Santana relented her hold, Rachel slipped off the bed and went over to where Santana’s shirt was piled on the floor. She tossed at it at her and grinned “But no funny business.”

 

“That is so not fair” Santana, who was sitting up in bed now, let out a laugh and caught the shirt that was tossed at her. “No deal. I am staying in bed.”

 

“No, you asked if you could shower with me. There was no implication of funny business. You made the deal already and if you don’t stick to your half of the deal I will never let you engage in funny business with me again.” Rachel gave her a wide grin, tossed her a pair of shorts, then bounced toward the sheet door of her room. “Now hurry up.”

 

“I’ll show you funny business” Santana grumbled under her breath as she pulled on the shirt and shorts before sliding out of bed. She stumbled over to where Rachel waited near the door and scowled slightly at Rachel’s stupid happy smile. She hated when Rachel got her way. 

 

Rachel just slid her arm through Santana’s and pulled her out of the sheet door and down toward the kitchen. She was bouncing happily along, excited about what the day held for their little group of friends. Maybe it was because of what had happened the night before. Either way, she was in a fabulous mood.

 

That was until they stepped into the kitchen and were greeted with a round of applause by the others that were staying in their loft. Leading the way, of course, was Puck with a stupid smirk on his lips. Quinn, Mercedes, and Brittany all joined in the applause. The only one not clapping was Tina who stood near the kitchen table with her arms folded, looking a bit annoyed.

 

Santana smirked and glanced down at Rachel in amusement. She knew exactly what they were doing and she thought it was hilarious. Rachel, on the other hand, paused mid step and stared at everyone with a bit of confusion on her face “What in the world?”

 

“Nice show last night, ladies” Puck still smirked as he spoke. “Very classy. Not too loud but just enough that we all knew exactly what was happening.”

 

“Oh my god” Rachel turned and hid her face against Santana. Her cheeks were burning with embarrassment so brightly she wasn’t sure they would ever fully go back to their nature skin tone.

 

Santana just laughed and looked down at Rachel who was pressed against her. She leaned in and kissed the top of her head before shrugging “You guys are all pervs for listening in on us.”

 

“Oh please” Quinn rolled her eyes, sipping at the coffee that had already been made for the group. She was still on college time, she had been up for an hour already. College Quinn really did give Rachel a run for her money when it came to starting her day early now. “You have thin sheet walls and an open ceiling. Did you really think we wouldn’t hear? We could have heard someone farting in China with how well sound carries in here.”

 

Santana just lifted a shoulder in a shrug. She wasn’t surprised. She had heard her own fair share of intimacies since living here. “Just so you know it was totally not my fault. She started it.” She pointed down at Rachel and let out a laugh.

 

“Shut up” Rachel groaned, turning into Santana completely now. She was so embarrassed she wanted to die. It was bad enough when someone she lived with heard her but having pretty much her entire group of friends hear? She was totally mortified.

 

Santana just rolled her eyes and looked back at the group. She pointed at Puck, who looked the most amused, and shook her head in a silent warning for him to drop this immediately. She didn’t care but apparently Rachel did so she would do whatever it took to make this as less awkward for her as she could. She glanced back at Rachel and rubbed softly along her back “Do you want to skip coffee and go straight for the shower?”

 

Rachel nodded her head quickly but didn’t look up. If she kept her entire face hidden she wouldn’t have to look at her friends. She wouldn’t have to see them looking at her and knowing what she had done the night before. Yes, everyone knew she wasn’t a virgin but that didn’t make them hearing her engage in such acts any less horrifying.

 

Santana just laughed and scooped her arms around Rachel tightly. She lifted her up just enough to be able to move with her since Rachel’s feet didn’t seem to want to walk anymore. She shuffled awkwardly in front of everyone all the way through the kitchen to the bathroom. Once inside, she kicked the door closed and moved to set Rachel on the counter near the sink. “Alright, we’re alone. You can unhook yourself from me now.”

 

Rachel pouted as she slowly let go of Santana and brought her face back into view for the first time in several minutes. Her skin was still a soft pink color as her eyes lifted to find Santana looking at her “That was awful, San. They all know!”

 

“Okay first of all you are dating me, Rachel. I am pretty sure they all just assumed we had already done it.” Santana spoke softly, not wanting to make light of Rachel’s embarrassment but wanting to lay down the facts at the same time. “Secondly, I told you you were being too loud last night.”

 

Rachel’s pout only grew and she swatted at Santana’s chest “This isn’t funny! I am mortified.”

 

“I’m not trying to be funny” Santana shook her head as her hands moved down Rachel’s arms soothingly. “I’ve heard you have sex with Brody and as disgusting as it was I also realized that it is just a part of sharing a living space with someone. And, come on, how many times did we hear Kurt and Blaine?” Her lip curled in disgust thinking about how awful that had been. “Remember the time we walked in on Kurt and that shady ass Santa? I am still slightly scarred for life because of that.”

 

“Me too” Rachel admitted and though she still pouted she did smile for a moment.

 

“See? Babe, it’s totally normal to be heard while having sex, especially while sharing a home with others. Although none of them live here, we were sharing our home, and it was kind of a joint effort when we decided to throw caution to the wind and just go for it last night. Trust me, none of them are judging you. Like Tina said, she’s heard Puck having sex more times than she can count. I think it’s just kind of expected in this group.”

 

“Poor Tina” Rachel shook her head slightly at that. “She didn’t even stand a chance this weekend did she?”

 

Santana let out a laugh and shook her head “With Puckerman and me in the same place with our sexy ladies by our sides? Not a chance in Hell.” She reached up and smoothed her hand over Rachel’s still slightly messy bed head and gave her a little smile “I am sure they will have dropped it by the time you are done with your shower.”

 

“Doubtful” Rachel mumbled, pouting again. She sighed and slid off the counter, moving over to the shower now and starting the water. “But I don’t have time to wallow any longer. We have an entire day planned out. So...” She reached down and slid her shirt up off her body, smiling before tossing it so it landed on Santana’s head “Are you coming in or what?”

 

Santana perked an eyebrow as she slowly pulled the shirt off her head. She took a moment to look over Rachel’s bare torso before nodding slowly. She liked that Rachel already felt comfortable enough to undress around her in the daylight now. That only worked to Santana’s advantage. “But no funny business” Santana pointed at her firmly, mocking the way Rachel had said it earlier.

 

Rachel just rolled her eyes and kicked off her shorts before stepping into the shower. “As if you can help yourself” She called out playfully before disappearing under the stream of water.

 

Santana smirked at that as she quickly undressed herself to join her. It was true, it would be hard to resist. But she knew when all was said and done they did have a schedule to adhere to and if no funny business in the shower resulted in them being on time and Rachel not complaining that they were late all day she would behave. But as soon as they were schedule free, Rachel was in big trouble.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

The group sat in the middle of Central Park now, spread out over three large blankets in various states of fullness from their picnic. Puck was laying with his head in Quinn’s lap, already dozing off from the mix of the warm sun and the good food he had eaten. Quinn’s fingers slid through his hair mindlessly as she spoke softly with Brittany who was laying on her stomach with her head in her hands. Mercedes was propped up on one arm, the other holding the phone to her ear chatting away. Tina, Kurt, and Santana were deeply enthralled in a discussion about success because of college versus success in spite of college. Rachel stood nearby, smiling at her little family after having made a trip to the garbage to dispose of everything that wasn’t reusable from the meal.

 

“Mercedes didn’t go to college” Santana motioned to the girl a few feet away from her and shrugged. “I went to college for like half a year and hated every second of it. Now look at me. I’ve been in a movie.”

 

“An indy” Tina rolled her eyes at that. “What are you going to do if that flops?”

 

“Keep trying” Santana said plainly before glancing at Kurt. “Kurt dropped out, too.”

 

“I did not” Kurt said with a shake of his head. When Santana looked at him curiously, he just shrugged “I just decided to take some time off once I got a designer interested in my line. It is very time consuming and I was starting to slip in my classes. So I decided at the end of fall semester last year to put school aside until I was done.”

 

Santana nodded slowly at that “Sure, sure. And when exactly are you planning on going back?”

 

“This fall” Kurt nodded quickly. “I am sure I will be done by then.”

 

Santana just rolled her eyes and looked back at Tina with a nod “Kurt dropped out and he is doing just fine too. In the meantime, what are you doing with your life?”

 

“Studying!” Tina scoffed, throwing her hand up in the air in frustration. “I am getting a degree so I can get a good job and have a career. Of course I still want to perform but what if that doesn’t happen? I don’t want to be a singing waitress for the rest of my life.”

 

“Hey” Santana barked now, sitting up fully and puffing out her chest a bit defensively. “I pay my bills, on time. I am not living under the dollar of my parents. I am doing something I love and while I wait for that to become my full time job I have to make a living somehow. There is no shame in what I do for money. It could be worse, I could be a stripper.”

 

“Ladies” Kurt clapped softly to grab their attention. “Rachel is coming back so I’d drop this subject really quickly.”

 

“What are we talking about?” Rachel asked with a grin as she sat on the blanket next to Santana. She wrapped her arm through Santana’s and looked at Tina and Kurt then back to Santana with a smile.

 

“I was just asking what Santana’s long term plan was” Tina said with a shrug. She had gotten really fed up with being told to be quiet in high school and being ignored in high school so she had started telling it like it was and it had really felt good.

 

Rachel frowned a bit and looked at her girlfriend curiously. She knew Santana absolutely hated when someone asked her what her future held. She had been uncertain about it in high school and she was still pretty uncertain about it today. Yeah she had made leaps and bounds toward a career in show business but she hadn’t had the success she thought she deserved and Rachel knew that bugged her.

 

Santana just shrugged and shifted so she was no longer looking at Tina and rather more facing Quinn who was on her right side. “What are we doing next?” She asked Rachel even though her face was turned away from those who she sat on the blanket with.

 

“Well” Rachel said with a quick glare at Tina before turning to face Santana better since they were now engaged in a conversation. “There are supposed to be performances here in the park from now until dusk. Then it will be time for the fireworks display.”

 

Santana nodded and glanced back at Rachel. “So you had us get up early to go to a parade, watch an elementary school put on a retelling of the founding of our Nation, have a picnic in the park, and watch a boring orchestra perform for eight hours?”

 

“It’s not an orchestra” Rachel said with a frown. She lifted her hand to her cheek, pulling slightly until Santana’s face turned toward hers. “San, don’t be grumpy with me. We are all just trying to enjoy the day together.”

 

“I’m not being grumpy” Santana grumbled and looked away from her girlfriend. “I just want to go for a walk.” She pushed herself up off the blanket now and got to her feet. She brushed off the few blades of grass that had gathered on her through her mindless plucking while talking with Tina and Kurt. “I’m going to go find Paige and Emily. They said they were going to look for ice cream for dessert.”

 

“Do you want me to come?” Rachel asked softly, looking a bit sad that Santana was acting how she was because of what Tina had said.

 

“No, stay here. I’ll bring you something back.” Santana waved her off then turned to step over Brittany who was still laying on her stomach.

 

“Can I come, San?” Brittany glanced up at her and smiled “You’ll need help carrying all that ice cream.”

 

“What ice cream?” Santana perked an eyebrow curiously.

 

“Who wants ice cream!?” Brittany hollered as she climbed to her feet with astounding speed.

 

Puck raised his hand. Quinn looked up and nodded. Mercedes, somehow through her phone conversation, heard the question and gave a wave. Kurt’s hand shot up and so did Tina’s, though a bit more timidly. Rachel grinned up at Santana because she already knew her girlfriend was bringing her some. Santana looked over at Brittany like she might actually slap her before putting a forced smile on her face “Great. Be right back.”

 

“I want chocolate” Puck called after them but Santana just reached behind her and flipped him off as she and Brittany carefully moved through the ever growing collection of blankets strewn out across the park. By night fall it would be so packed in the park it would be impossible to navigate without stepping on someone.

 

The two friends stayed quiet until they left the grassy area and found one of the sidewalks that wound about the park. Brittany looked over at Santana with a smile before sliding her arm through Santana’s at the elbow “You shouldn’t listen to her.”

 

“What do you mean?” Santana mumbled, her eyes looking this way and that, searching for both her cousin and some ice cream.

 

“Tina” Brittany said softly as she stared straight ahead to where they were walking. They had always worked well together when they walked. Either arm in arm or pinky in pinky, Brittany was always eyes forward and Santana was always looking around them for whatever reason. She liked to be aware of her surroundings and Brittany liked to make sure they didn’t run into anything.

 

Santana shrugged at Brittany. She was quiet for a few moments as she scanned the park and when she failed to see any indication of ice cream being in the vicinity, she sighed and glanced at her friend “She’s kind of just saying what everyone else is thinking.”

 

“That is not true, San” Brittany shook her head and looked at her friend now. She pulled on her arm to bring her to a stop before turning her to bring them face to face. “She is just jealous that everyone else has already found a level of success that she hasn’t.”

 

“Quinn hasn’t” Santana motioned back in the general area of where they had left their friends. “She’s in her last year of college, too. I’m sure she probably thinks I’m an idiot for dropping out to chase a career in acting just like Tina does.”

 

“If they do then screw them” Brittany shook her head and offered her friend a smile. “San, you are one of the most amazingly talented people I have ever met and I’m not just saying that because of how long we have been friends. I know Rachel Berry. I know Mercedes Jones. You are just as talented as they are and anyone who doesn’t agree is obviously blind, deaf, or both. You were just as big of a star in glee club as they were and you know it.”

 

“This isn’t glee anymore, Britt. This is real life and in real life I’m leaps and bounds behind everyone else.” 

 

“I don’t think so at all” Brittany shook her head and held her gentle smile. “You just made a movie and so what if it wasn’t a huge budget film. No one makes a huge budget film their first try. You are working at becoming what you love. Rachel worked since she was three to get on Broadway. I’m sure Mercedes sang into her hairbrush when she was six. They’ve had to earn it and you’re doing the exact same thing. You just started a little later, that’s all.”

 

Santana gave a little nod at that. She was right. Brittany was always right. “Then why do I feel like I’m never going to accomplish anything worthwhile?”

 

“Because you’re entering what would be your last year of college when every single other person in the history of the world feels the exact same way. Whether you graduate with honors or go straight to work after high school this is the age when human beings start to question everything in their life. It’s called an existential crisis and twenty-two is the most common age that it happens at.”

 

Santana perked an eyebrow at Brittany. She knew she was smart but this was like beyond Brittany smart. This was book smart. “How do you know all of this?”

 

“I’m taking night classes” Brittany said proudly. “I think I want to be a guidance counselor like Miss P was in high school. Only I think I want to do it for kids in college because I can’t stand teenagers.” She let out a laugh and shrugged a bit. “Do you remember when you basically talked me out of going back to MIT because I hated it and it didn’t make me happy?”

 

Santana nodded at that “God, yes. I had never seen you hate life for one moment but with that chalk in your hand you looked like you had had the life sucked out of you.”

 

“Well I think that’s when I decided I wanted to be a counselor to college kids. I really wish someone would have pulled me aside and talked me out of going to MIT just because I was good at math. It wasn’t what I wanted to do. I just got sucked in because it felt nice to be good at something that people thought was worthwhile. No one ever praised me for being good at dancing like they did for being good at math.”

 

“I did” Santana frowned a little. “I’ve always loved your dancing.”

 

“I know” Brittany smiled gently, looping her arm through Santana’s once more before starting along the sidewalk with her again. “But having strangers praise me? It felt nice. Until it didn’t. I just wish someone I didn’t really know but still cared about me would have guided me back on the right path.”

 

“So because you hated college so much you want to advise kids to hate it too?” Santana let out a soft laugh, giving her hip a bump against Brittany’s playfully. “I’m just kidding. I think that is a pretty awesome idea, Britt. College isn’t for everyone and I think that kids who feel like they are failing need someone to remind them that sometimes failing is just another way of succeeding.”

 

“Exactly” Brittany said with a soft laugh. “So I looked up some online courses and took those. Now I have a private tutor that comes with me on the road who gives me all my assignments and such. It’s hard because I’m usually exhausted from dancing but it will be worth it. I love dancing, I do, but I know that Mercedes won’t be touring forever and then what?” She shrugged and looked back at Santana “I have to have another job lined up. I might get a job as a waitress like you or maybe something at a bookstore. Just something to pay my bills, like you said to Tina, until my real dream is achieved.”

 

Santana smiled very softly at that. It was nice to know that not everyone around her had their future set completely. Sure, Brittany had a plan but it wasn’t going to work immediately. It was a lot like her own plan. Just pay the bills until she got a job doing what she loved. It would take some time but it would be worth it in the end. “Thanks, B.”

 

Brittany just nodded and offered a return nudge with her hip “It’s my job, San.” She let out a laugh and rolled her eyes “Well not right now, but one day.”

 

“You’re already pretty good at it. Remind me to come to you the next time I’m having an extraterrestrial crisis.” Santana smirked, knowing she had said it wrong.

 

Brittany just let out a loud laugh and glanced at her friend “Your first session will be free.”

 

“Hey guys!” Emily, who had seen them through the crowd, came walking up with an excited wave. “Where are you two going?”

 

“The group wants ice cream” Santana mumbled, looking at Brittany with a playful scowl. “So I thought since you and Paige went off looking for it I could find you and get them all something to stuff in their mouths for a while.”

 

Emily just nodded and motioned to a stand across the way “Well Paige is over there getting us some. I am sure she wouldn’t mind you jumping in with her.”

 

“Thanks” Santana paused and turned so her arm slid out of Brittany’s. “How about you two head back to the others and let them know we will be over in a few. I will make Paige help me carry everything.”

 

“You sure?” Brittany eyed her carefully.

 

“I’m fine, Britt” Santana smiled sincerely and gave a nod of her head. “Now go.”

 

That was all Brittany needed to hear. She smiled and looped her arm through Emily’s, the girls giggling as they happily started to skip back toward the group.

 

Santana watched them go before smiling and shaking her head a bit. She had missed her best friend so much. As much as she adored Rachel on just a friendship level, she simply did not know Santana as well as Brittany did. No one did. She was sure with time Rachel could reach that level but sometimes just having your oldest and dearest friend talk some sense into you was exactly what you needed. She was so glad her and Brittany were mended. She wasn’t sure what she would do if they had remained awkward around each other for the rest of their lives.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

After delivering the ice cream to everyone, Paige and Santana had found spots on the blanket and rejoined the group. A soft chatter fell over everyone as the licked their sweet treat in the hot summer heat. It was nice to just relax, Santana had thought as she ate her ice cream. It was nice to indulge in a little normalcy with the lunatics she called friends.

 

Rachel had wanted to make sure everything was okay with them. It took about five seconds before she knew they were fine. She had asked if Santana was alright, Santana had grabbed her face and kissed her, and that had been that. Good. The last thing they needed was more bickering. Tina and Mercedes had gotten into an argument over what the state flower of New York was while Santana had been getting ice cream. How any of them became friends through all the fighting was an actual miracle.

 

Once the ice cream was devoured, the first act had started on the small stage set up in the park. It was a boring orchestra, which Santana made sure to point out obnoxiously to Rachel. But it was alright. It wasn’t too loud and the group continued whatever conversations they had been having when the music had started.

 

Somewhere between the orchestra and the high school band, Puck had dozed off in the heat. Santana took the opportunity to get a bit of revenge for him embarrassing Rachel that morning. She had learned it had been him that had urged the group to do the round of applause when they walked out of their room so now Santana was going to get even. She dug in her small purse and pulled out the marker she used at work to mark expiration dates on stuff, smirking as she did so.

 

“I have absolutely no part in this” Quinn had protested with her hands raised in innocence. But she didn’t exactly say no and when Santana moved over to start drawing on Puck she didn’t bat her hand away either. In fact, she was heard giggling a few times at Santana’s artwork. But if Puck got mad, Quinn had no part in this. What a softie, Santana thought. Old Quinn would have proudly claimed her part in this little prank and probably even taken credit for the huge penis Santana drew on his cheek. Funny what love did to a person. Love or maturity, one of the two.

 

Everyone got a turn to draw something on Puck. Tina blacked one of his eyes so it looked like he had been in a fight. Mercedes wrote the words ‘dong lover’ on his forehead. Kurt improved on the penis Santana had drawn, giving it a more realistic look since he was the expert and all. Quinn drew a heart on his chin. Rachel just drew a gold star on the cheek not taken over by a penis. Paige drew a frowny face and signed her name because she wanted to partake but also felt bad because she didn’t know him. Emily drew a Hitler mustache. Brittany filled in Puck’s sideburns to look like mutton chops. 

 

All of them took turns laying on Quinn’s other leg and taking a picture next to the passed out piece of art. Santana flipped off the camera, of course. Rachel kissed Puck’s cheek next to her gold star. Emily and Paige laid with a head on each side of Puck’s and grinned widely. Kurt pretended to be picking Puck’s nose. Mercedes threw up a peace sign. Tina used her hair to make it look like Puck had long hair. Brittany pretended she was about to lick his ear. Quinn just sat there and let everyone pose in her lap before finally calling it quits and telling everyone to leave him alone. She was going to hear it, she was sure, but for the moment it was hilarious. She did sneak a picture of passed out Puck to use as her phone wallpaper.

 

Once the fun of doodling on Puck was done, everyone settled back together and started chatting again. Rachel checked the time on her phone and a smile came to her lips. It was almost six already and that meant it was almost time. She got to her feet, which made a few people look at her curiously but none more so than Santana. “Where you going?”

 

“Nature calls” Rachel said with a smile. “I will be back soon.”

 

Santana just nodded at that and gave her a smile as she bounced off down the sidewalk. She let out a laugh and turned to look back at Brittany’s hair that was in her hands. She had been braiding her hair as the two of them talked about the time Lord Tubbington almost got them arrested for shoplifting in eighth grade.

 

“Wait, your cat almost got you arrested?” Paige looked between the two girls, shaking her head in disbelief as her fingers threaded through Emily’s hair who was laying in her lap.

 

“I had a very rebellious cat” Brittany said so casually it almost seemed to be a normal thing to say.

 

Paige looked down at Emily and perked an eyebrow “Did you ever meet this cat?”

 

Emily nodded just once “Once. He was sick so Brittany made Santana make him a hospital bed in her closet so she could still sleep over but be close to him in case he needed anything.”

 

Paige just nodded and looked back at Santana and Brittany across from her. She had never heard anything more weird in her entire life.

 

“He had a girlfriend cat once” Tina chimed in from where she laid on her back watching a football pass through the sky every time it was tossed across the park. “But I am pretty sure he ate her.”

 

“That is still undetermined” Brittany shrugged. “I like to think the best of him and I think he just decided it wasn’t working so he told her to leave in the middle of the night to spare me a painful goodbye.”

 

Mercedes just stifled a laugh “Whatever helps you sleep at night, girl.”

 

There was a groan as Puck rolled over in Quinn’s lap. The entire group froze and looked at him. He slowly blinked his eyes open and let out a huge yawn. When he realized everyone was staring at him, he let out a laugh and rubbed his eye, which only served to smear the ink Tina had left there around his face more. “Damn, do I have a dick on my face or something? Why are you all staring?”

 

Before anyone could give away that he did indeed have a dick on his face, the speakers that were attached to the microphone of the small stage broke in with a scratchy announcement:

 

“Ladies and gentleman, we are so pleased to have you all out here to celebrate our Independence day!”

 

The crowd cheered.

 

“Now we have quite a treat for you all today. Fresh off a recent Tony award win, I’d like to present to you all Miss Rachel Berry!”

 

The crowd cheered just about as loud for Rachel as they did for the words Independence Day proving that there was not a large Broadway following gathered there that afternoon.

 

Santana sat upright and turned to look at the stage. Sure enough a tiny form approached the microphone with her bright smile. She took the mic from the man who had announced her and gave him a nod of thanks before stepping up closer to the edge of the stage.

 

“Good evening ladies and gentleman. It is such a pleasure to be with you here tonight. Now I know a large part of you probably have no clue who I am. Those of you who do, congratulations you are very well cultured.”

 

She paused for a laugh. Santana and the rest of her friends laughed because that was so Rachel Berry of her. There were a few loud laughs toward the front but most of the laughter was sporadic throughout the crowd.

 

Rachel just grinned, having appreciated the loud laughs toward the front of the stage. “Anyway, for those of you who don’t know I am Rachel Berry and like John so kindly informed you all, I have recently been award a Tony for my appearance on Broadway. For those of you who don’t know, a Tony is like an Oscar or a Grammy but awarded to those in live theater.”

 

There were a few more applause. Probably from the same group of fans near the front. Santana stood on her knees now and squinted trying to see who it was. Probably a group of young gay theater nerds from a local high school. She would almost put money on it.

 

“Don’t worry, I’m not here to put on a play so those of you already starting to doze off again can pay attention. I’m talking to you, Noah.” Rachel giggled at that. She was so funny.

 

The group looked at Puck and gave him a few playful shoves of teasing. He just rolled his eyes and nodded “Berry got jokes. Did she get them from you, Lopez?”

 

“Shh, dick face” Santana smirked and put a finger to her lips to hush him as Rachel went on.

 

“I am here to raise awareness for a cause very near and dear to my heart, though. The arts in high schools is not an option but a necessity. Children today crave the chance to explore their creativity and if we take things like music, theater, dance, and arts akin to photography away from our kids they will have no outlet to explore that creativity. When kids don’t have an outlet they turn all of that positive potential into negativity and that is when they start to get in trouble. A recent survey of former at-risk kids shows that a whopping 67% of them admitted they would have stayed out of trouble had they had something to do after school. That number is astounding! But it doesn’t have to be. I am here today to ask you all to vote NO on 112 in the next election. With a simple vote of NO the funding for arts in the schools will be saved and your children will have a reason to stay out of trouble.”

 

There were a few confused glances around the crowd. This was not entertaining at all. A few people had already lost interest and started chatting again. Santana just perked an eyebrow and looked at her friends who looked just as shocked as her “Did you know about this?” Quinn asked softly.

 

“No” Santana let out a huff of a laugh. “I had no idea.” She looked back at the stage then nodded before looking back to Quinn “You know what? I bet you her publicist is responsible. They’ve had her on this media blitz for the show ever since she won her Tony. I bet this is all part of it. Raise awareness for theater programs and more people will come see the show. She told me they are trying to get another six months out of it.”

 

“That’s good, right?” Quinn shrugged, looking back to the stage too.

 

“I think so. I don’t know” Santana shrugged. “But this sucks. I feel like they are just abusing their power over Rachel. She just loves the show so much she is willing to do whatever it takes and that means spouting off political bullshit if need be. She is terrified of getting fired.”

 

“Anyway” Rachel continued without even a hiccup even though she could see the crowd growing restless. “As a member of my high school’s glee club I am living proof of the success that can come from the arts.” She grinned happily at that “And I would like to introduce you to a very special group of people who are living proof as well.” She motioned through the crowd as a spotlight from seemingly nowhere lit up her friends where they sat on the blanket.

 

“What the Hell?” Santana winced at the sudden light hitting her face. The rest of the group did the same. Some of them looked like deer in a headlight. What did Rachel have up her sleeve?

 

“Ladies and gentlemen I would like to present to you, all the way from Lima Ohio, a group of misfits who used the arts to climb all the way to the top and win a National Show Choir Championship right here in New York City! Give it up for my glee club, the New Directions!” Rachel bounced on her toes and started to clap wildly. Her applause got the rest of the crowd clapping too. Everyone had their attention on the group because they all thought it was part of the show.

 

The rest of the group looked at each other, shaking their heads. “She can’t be serious right now” Mercedes mumbled as her jaw sat dropped open slightly. 

 

“She is insane if she thinks I’m getting up there” Quinn motioned toward the stage.

 

“Come on, guys!” Rachel called from the stage. When she could see no one was moving, she started to chant into the microphone. “New Directions! New Directions! New Directions!” Soon the crowd was chanting too and the people near them where clapping and trying to get them to join her.

 

“She’s insane” Quinn mumbled in shock. They all kind of looked around at each other before settling their eyes on Santana. 

 

“What?” Santana huffed, folding her arms. “I had nothing to do with this!”

 

“Go” Emily whispered, giving Santana a nudge. “She wants you guys to sing!”

 

“You go” Santana snarled and shook her head.

 

Just then the first few chords of “Don’t Stop Believin’” started to play and everyone in the group looked at the stage. “Damn it” Puck grumbled and started getting to his feet.

 

“Wait, you’re going?” Tina asked with wide eyes.

 

“We have to. Berry isn’t going to stop until we do” Puck motioned to the stage then held out his hand to Quinn “It won’t kill us. It could be fun.”

 

“You stay” Santana said quickly as she got to her feet and put her hands on Puck’s shoulders. 

 

“No way. I’m going. This is our jam, dudes.”

 

“You have a dick on your face” Santana mumbled, trying not to laugh.

 

Puck looked at the group and as they all kind of avoided eye contact and muffled laughs, he let out a laugh of his own and shrugged “It will make some kick ass newspaper headlines.”

 

“You’re insane” Quinn mumbled again before got to her feet. She turned to the others and nodded “We better just get it over with.” With that, the rest of the group got to their feet. Emily lit up with excitement and watched as they all took each others hands and made their way through the crowd that was now roaring with excitement for this group to make it to the stage. 

 

“This is gonna be so cool” Emily clapped and looked at Paige with a grin. “Are you excited?”

 

“I just can’t believe he is going up there with a penis on his face” Paige mumbled with a shake of her head.

 

The group finally made it to the front and were lead around the back to where the stage was. Rachel had somehow gotten just the intro of the song to loop through while they had moved through the crowd and was waiting excitedly on stage. She had moved the mic to the side and was now standing under one of the many stage lights that had come on for their performance. 

 

“You’re dead” Santana pointed at Rachel with a laugh as soon as they met in the middle of the stage. The rest of the group wasn’t far behind her and soon they were all huddled around Rachel, all of them talking at once about how they were all individually going to strangle Rachel in her sleep for this.

 

“Oh you love it” Rachel said with a grin. “Now here’s the plan...”

 

After detailing who would get what parts in the song and reminding them of the simple choreography, the group dispersed across the stage and Rachel gave a nod to the sound technician waiting for his cue. With a nod of her head, the version of the song that Mr. Schue had mixed for them for Regionals their first year started up and as if it had been just yesterday the group fell into perfect sync with one another.

 

It was like they had been practicing together everyday. Each person moved on stage flawlessly. Each new line or part was sang by the next person with a seamless transition from the last. They were smiling at each other, at the crowd, and obviously having an incredible time. There wasn’t a doubt in the world that this group of people loved to perform. If Rachel wanted to get the message about the arts being important across, she nailed it by inviting this group on stage. Their performance was inspiring and by the end of it there would probably be a hundred kids begging their parents to let them sign up for glee club.

 

As the song ended and they all struck their final pose, the crowd went wild. There was an energy much like when they had finished with their Nationals performance three years ago. It was hard to think that was the last time that this group has competed together. As they all huffed and puffed and the lights went dark, a few laughs were heard. First from Rachel then Quinn then Santana. As the laughter rose and the group broke their poses, everyone gave in as the group was all chuckling and throwing hugs at each other. Arms and bodies went this way and that, offering hugs to anyone they could get their hands on. It was moments like this that proved that no matter what this group would always be bonded together as one.

 

“Now wasn’t that fun?” Rachel asked as she broke away from the hugs and started toward the steps to the backstage area. They were being ushered off to make room for the next act that would take place soon.

 

“I can’t believe you got us to do that” Kurt said with a smile as he hopped off the last step and onto the grass below.

 

“You are one crazy girl, boo” Mercedes added with a nod. “But yeah, that was fun.”

 

“I forgot how much fun that was” Quinn was beaming as she slid her arm around Rachel and gave her another quick hug. “Thanks for the reminder.”

 

“We should make a pact” Rachel said quickly, looking at everyone in the group. Before anyone could ask what she meant, she continued “We should promise to do that like once a year. I know we are all busy and as we get older and start jobs and families it is going to be harder and harder but if we promise that at least once a year, maybe at Christmas or Easter or something, we get together and perform then we can always stay close.”

 

“Rachel we will always be close anyway” Tina said with a little nod. “You are all my best friends.”

 

“I know” Rachel said with a little shrug. “But wouldn’t it be amazing to show our growing families just why we’re so close?”

 

“What are we going to do? Perform for your dads every year?” Kurt perked an eyebrow at that. He wouldn’t mind but he would get bored of that year in and year out.

 

“No” Rachel said with a quick shake of her head. “We pick a day every year that works for everyone or mostly everyone and then we pick a place. We can come here or go to California or even back to Ohio. We pick where ever is easiest for the majority of us and then I’ll setup a performance. Maybe in a parade or at an old folks home or even a community theater. If I have learned one thing from my years of auditioning it is that there is always somewhere holding some event in need of some kind of entertainment. You just have to find it.”

 

The group kind of looked around at each other. It was obvious they were all fighting off smiles at the sound of Rachel’s plan. They knew that some of them wouldn’t be able to attend each time but as long as the majority of the group joined in that’s what it was all about, right? Keep alive their love for performing and their love for each other as the years went by.

 

“I’m in” Santana finally broke the silence and gave a little nod. She looked at Rachel and offered her a very sweet smile “No matter what direction life takes us in we will always be the New Directions.”

 

“Wow Rachel has rubbed off on you” Mercedes said with an astonished laugh but nodded “Count me in too, boo.”

 

“Me too” Tina said excitedly and put her hand in the middle of the group. One by one everyone else followed as they agreed to the plan. Soon everyone’s hand were piled together in their usual show circle and they were all smiling at each other, looking from person to person.

 

“On three” Rachel said with a nod. She counted slowly and even though they hadn’t discussed what they were going to say on three, as soon as she hit the number, the group collectively lifted their hands toward the sky and shouted excitedly “New Directions!”

 

The group all laughed and exchanged a few more hugs before they finally left the backstage area and headed back to their blankets. The day had been long and gotten off to a bit of a rough start but for the most part each and every person in the group had had an amazing day. As they settled back on the blankets to enjoy the rest of the evening’s festivities, each one silently hoped that Rachel’s plan could work. That each year they could come together and celebrate what had made them a family in the first place. Their collective love for performing together.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	21. One big happy family

**Six months later...**

 

“Paige!” Santana knocked heavily on the door that was just across the hallway from her own bedroom door. When Rachel had gotten her bonus for winning her Tony she had insisted that they get real walls in the loft. She had wanted to put it all in the vacation fund but Santana wouldn’t let her. She had argued that it would mean Rachel paid for the vacation and Santana just kind of contributed what she could. Santana wanted it to be as even as possible so Rachel had decided to get real walls instead. 

 

Even if Santana had argued that she should chip in too, Rachel wouldn’t let her. It had turned into a fight but eventually Rachel had used the fact that it was her money and she could do whatever she wanted with it. Santana had given in only because fighting over money was the last thing she wanted to do. It was like the number one reason relationships ended and they just weren’t that petty.

 

“I’m coming!” Paige called out loudly in response to the knocks at her door. When the knocking stopped, she smiled and looked back at the mirror. She wanted to look good that night. It was Rachel’s last show and they were all going out to support her. There was even going to be a wrap party afterwards that they were all invited to.

 

“Hurry up!” Santana called to the door before turning and heading to the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror and smirked at how hot she looked before she started to look through her scattered jewelry cup for some earrings to wear.

 

“Emily is meeting us there?” Paige called out as she left her room and headed toward where she kept her shoes near the door. 

 

“Yeah. She is going to the theater straight from the airport.” Santana clipped her earrings on then stepped back and looked herself over again. She looked good. Her hair was wavy, flowing down her back and shoulders, just the way Rachel liked it. She had gone for Rachel’s favorite little black dress and matching heels. She had to look good that night. Since they had gone public with their relationship there was hardly a moment where they were out of the spotlight when then were out together. With the play wrapping that night there was going to be even more press than usual. She had hated it at first but now she was used to it.

 

“You ready?” Paige asked as she slipped on her own heels. When Santana walked out of the bathroom, Paige looked her over and she let out a soft laugh before pointing at herself “Okay one of us is going to have to change.”

 

“Yeah, you are” Santana said with a nod, motioning to Paige and the small black dress she had put on for the occasion.

 

“Why me?” Paige’s eyebrows knitted together in a frown as her arms folded tightly.

 

“I’m older” Santana shrugged. “I look better in black than you do” She motioned to Paige and laughed softly. “I don’t know, because I said so. Just go change!”

 

Paige would argue but she knew she wouldn’t win and they had to be at the theater soon. So she just rolled her eyes and let out a huff as she marched back to her room to find another dress. 

 

Paige had been living in the loft with Rachel and Santana for just about a month now. Emily and Paige had kept their relationship when both had returned to their own colleges in the fall and after traveling back and forth between Ohio and New York both agreed it wasn’t enough. So after talking to Rachel and Santana both, they decided that if they were still together by Thanksgiving that Emily would transfer to a school in New York and the two of them would move in with Rachel and Santana.

 

Rachel had been all for it. She thought it would be great to have her friend Paige nearby and she liked the idea of getting to know Emily better. Santana, of course, had fought the idea at first. She had actually liked the fact that she and Rachel had the place to themselves. But eventually Rachel and Emily had worn her down and, if she had to admit it now, she did like the idea of being close to Emily.

 

Emily had just finished moving in that day. Her parents had come from Ohio to bring the last of her things. That is why Emily had to run to the airport. She had to drop her parents off for their flight before she would make her way to see Rachel’s show for the last time that night.

 

“How’s this?” Paige stepped out of her room now in a suit. She had decided to forego the dress idea altogether and pulled out her old dress suit she had worn to a high school dance back in the day. She ran her hands over herself to smooth out a few creases then looked at Santana with a grin.

 

Santana glanced up from where she had been searching for her keys in her little clutch purse to look at Paige. She did a quick double take and when her eyes landed on the girl for a second time an eyebrow perked and a smile came to her lips “Not too shabby, McCullers.”

 

Paige smiled shyly and moved to grab her phone off the table near the door. To get a genuine compliment from Santana Lopez was a gift and she wouldn’t take it lightly “Thanks.”

 

Santana looked the girl over once more before letting out a laugh and pulling at the loft door “Are you ready?”

 

“Let’s roll” Paige said with a nod. She motioned for Santana to lead the way and soon they were headed out of the building and toward the car that Rachel had sent to pick them up.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

As the cast gathered on stage for their final curtain call, the crowd went wild. There were warm applause all around, a few yells and hollers, and a sudden shower of flowers. As the secondary actors took their bows then stepped back to let the main actors take their bows the applause just got louder. When Rachel stepped forward to the crowd to take her solo bow there was a roar from the crowd. There was no doubt that it had been Rachel Berry that had made this show what it had been. 

 

Rachel stood on the stage, spotlight shining down on her, and hands to her heart. She was fighting off tears as the overwhelming love from the crowd poured onto her. This was what she had wanted from the time she was three years old. This had been her goal her entire life. This moment made every slushie in high school worth it. It made every tear she had cried in high school worth it. This moment made every hater worth it. This is what she had been meant for in her life and she would never forget it. She couldn’t wait to get another chance to feel this moment again.

 

As the applause died and the actors finally disappeared before the curtains, the crowd all started to shuffle out of the theater. Paige, Emily, and Santana all just stayed seated. They were in no hurry to leave. They had to wait for Rachel. So they stayed seated and watched everyone else move out and on with their lives.

 

It was a while later when Santana pushed her way into Rachel’s dressing room with the other two girls behind her. She smiled when she saw Rachel at her vanity and moved right over to her “You were amazing, baby. Even I cried tonight at the last song.”

 

Rachel turned around and looked up at Santana and frowned. There were tears in her eyes and she gave her head a shake “I don’t want this to end, San. Did you hear that ovation at the end?”

 

“It was incredible” Santana said with a frown as she leaned down in front of Rachel and slid her hands along her legs lightly. “But it wasn’t your last one. You are a Tony winning actress. You already have offers coming at you. You will be back on that stage in no time.”

 

Rachel just pouted out her bottom lip and lifted a hand to wipe at a stray tear “But it won’t be the same. This is my first show and it was an original. What if every show I do from now on isn’t as good?”

 

“Then they aren’t as good” Santana said with a shrug. “But that doesn’t mean they are bad. You got lucky with this show. It doesn’t make something you do in the future less amazing. It just means this was special. Trust me, Rach, anything you do from here on out will undoubtedly be amazing because it will be you up on that stage each night. You aren’t capable of doing anything any less than amazingly.”

 

Rachel just kept pouting. She let out a sigh and turned back to face her mirror on her vanity. She used a wipe to start removing her stage makeup, her eyes still full of unshed tears. “What if I never get another show?”

 

Santana let out a huff of a laugh and stood back up. She shook her head and looked at the other girls behind her with a smirk before looking at Rachel through the mirror “Now you’re just talking crazy. You already have an audition for when we get back from Sundance.”

 

“Oh I forgot about that” Emily said with a wide smile. She had an arm around Paige and was leaning into her slightly. “When is that again?”

 

“Next week” Santana smiled almost shyly and tried to shrug as if it were no big deal.

 

“Are you excited? Your first film festival!” Emily bit her lip and fought the urge to squeak.

 

Santana just nodded and shrugged again “What I am excited about right now is this wrap party.” She looked back at Rachel and offered her a loving smile “So hurry up so we can get our party on. You’ve worked hard, you deserve it.”

 

Rachel just rolled her eyes but managed to smile. Santana was right, as always. She did have an audition. She would definitely get another part on Broadway. Most of all, she had earned the right to have a little fun. Between school and the play the last year she had barely had time to enjoy herself. She was going to enjoy her time off and let Santana take the spotlight.

 

She turned in her chair again as she started to brush through her hair. She looked up at the other girls and gave them a little smile “You all look very lovely tonight. Paige...” Rachel nodded and motioned to the girl “The suit is fantastic. You should wear them more often.”

 

Paige blushed slightly and looked down at herself with a shrug “I don’t have a lot of reason to dress up like this but I will keep that in mind.”

 

“Speaking of” Santana said with a quick nod “You two have to pack at least one nice outfit for the premiere. It’s not like a real red carpet like in Hollywood, but there will be a small one with photographers and interviewers and such so I want you two to look good since you will be my guests.”

 

“We’ve got it covered” Emily said with a smile.

 

“Good” Santana nodded then looked back down at Rachel with a grin “Now hurry your ass up. I want to know what exactly happens at a wrap party!”

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

The wrap party was unlike anything these girls had really seen before. There were celebrities everywhere. There were reporters and cameras everywhere they turned. There was food and an open bar and people bursting out into random song. Okay, so it kind of looked like when the Glee club had a drunken party and pretended to interview each other but this was a lot more fun. Santana was having a blast. She imagined this was what it had been like after the Tony’s and was glad she was getting the chance to experience this with Rachel. 

 

“Take it easy, you two” Santana pointed at Paige and Emily who were just turning away from the bar with new drinks.

 

“Oh come on, we have a car to take us home. How many of these parties do you think we’re going to get to go to?” Emily let out a laugh and took a sip of her drink. 

 

Santana rolled her eyes and waved her hand to the side “Just don’t make an ass of yourself. You have to remember that what you do now reflects on Rachel.”

 

“We know” Paige said with a smile. “We won’t do anything to embarrass her.”

 

Just then, Rachel’s co-star walked up and slid his arms around both Paige and Emily’s shoulders “I heard you two love karaoke! You must sing with us!” He motioned to a tiny stage where a group of people were already cuing up music and grabbing microphones.

 

Paige laughed and agreed with a nod. Before Emily could argue she was being pulled in that direction. She glanced back at Santana with a look that was crying out for help but it was no good. As soon as they reached the group she was swallowed by arms as they all grabbed her and tried to convince her to sing a song.

 

Santana just laughed and turned away from her cousin’s pleading eyes. She knew she would be alright. She glanced around and wondered where Rachel had been pulled off to. She had been in demand all night. From interviewers to cast mates to other celebrities wanting to praise her, Rachel had been completely occupied. It was fine. Santana wanted Rachel to enjoy every moment of this. She had earned it.

 

“Miss Lopez” A voice came from behind Santana and she turned around quickly to find the source. Behind her just a few feet away was a small, middle aged woman she didn’t recognize. She perked an eyebrow and glanced around as if maybe that wasn’t the source of the voice. But when the woman gave her a wave and a smile, she knew it had come from her.

 

“Yeah?” Santana asked curiously as she moved over to the woman carefully. She knew people knew her name now but that didn’t mean she got a lot of attention whenever she wasn’t near Rachel.

 

“My name is Misty Gunn and I am a reporter for ‘Filmmaker’. It’s a magazine about independent films. I was wondering if you have a moment to speak with me?”

 

Santana glanced around again before looking at the smaller girl. She eyed her carefully and after deciding she seemed pretty harmless, and legitimate considering she did have a press badge on, gave her a nod “Sure.”

 

The woman smiled and motioned for Santana to move to a table nearby. She sat and pulled out a small voice recorder and notepad. She looked up at Santana who had yet to sit and nodded to the seat near her “I just have a few questions about your upcoming film. It won’t take long, I promise.”

 

Santana finally slid into the seat near the woman and set down her drink. She eyed her as she prepared her notepad and turned on her recorder. Santana arched an eyebrow at how official it all seemed. She wondered if the girl had come specifically for her or had just managed to get the chance to talk to her and decided to take it.

 

“So, first of all, I want to say thank you so much for sitting down with me. There is a lot of buzz around your movie. It is premiering next week at the Sundance Film Festival, right?”

 

Santana nodded and smiled widely “It is. We are all very excited for the world to see it.”

 

“Have you seen it already?”

 

“I have” Santana slid her finger along the glass that held her drink. “I don’t want to toot my own horn but it’s pretty amazing.”

 

The woman took a moment to take a note then looked back at Santana and smiled “Can you tease with anything? Anything you can say that will want to make people to go see it?”

 

“Let me just tell you this. This story has more twists than an order of curly fries. If you like mystery and you like gore, then this is the film for you. You might actually find yourself sleeping with the lights on after you see it, it’s that good at finding that place inside us all where our deepest fears live and ripping the lid right off it.”

 

The woman smiled and made another note before looking back up. She looked around now and motioned to the room they were in before looking at Santana “This is your first movie but it looks like you are already getting a taste of the celebrity lifestyle.”

 

Santana let out a laugh at that and shook her head “This is my first party like this.”

 

“But your name is out there and it’s attached to the star of the play that closed tonight” Misty smiled and wrote something down “How does it feel to know that your name is already helping this movie gain steam?”

 

Santana frowned a little at the question “I know that a lot of people are proud to know their name is what is getting attention but that has nothing to do with this-” She motioned around them then looked back to the woman “I’ve known Rachel since high school. I would never use her name to make myself famous or whatever you’re insinuating here.”

 

“I would never insinuate that” Misty shook her head quickly. “Forgive me. I was simply asking how you felt knowing that you are the driving force behind the buzz of this movie. An unknown actress has never helped bring a movie to light like you have.”

 

Santana frowned and looked around herself. She really wished Rachel would come save her. But alas she was nowhere to be seen. She sighed and looked back at the woman with a shrug “Look, I love Rachel and I knew going into a relationship with her that we would be in the public eye together. Did I for one moment think that using her notoriety would help this movie? Not once. But since it has, I am not going to say it’s a bad thing. I want this movie to do well, I put my heart and soul into making it. So if my dating Rachel is helping, then so be it. But I will never use my relationship as a vehicle to gain attention.”

 

“Of course not” Misty nodded and made another note. She reached out and turned off the voice recorder and frowned slightly “I am sorry to have upset you. I do want to thank you for the interview and I will most likely see you at Sundance.”

 

“You didn’t upset me” Santana mumbled as she stood with the woman as she gathered her stuff.

 

“Have a nice evening, Miss Lopez” Misty offered her hand out for a shake before quickly turning and rushing off.

 

Santana had started after her but was stopped by a hand on her arm. She turned her head to see who it was and instantly smiled when she saw Rachel beside her. 

 

“What was that all about?” Rachel asked, looking a bit concerned at what she had just seen happen.

 

“She was a reporter for some independent film magazine” Santana said with a shrug. “I think I offended her or something because she suddenly rushed off.” She stared in the direction of where the older lady had disappeared before looking back at Rachel with another shrug “Whatever. It doesn’t matter.”

 

“Do you think it’s smart to offend someone interviewing you about your upcoming movie?” Rachel perked an eyebrow at that.

 

“It’s fine. Doesn’t even matter. What matters is tonight” Santana slid her arm around Rachel and turned with her until they were facing toward the party now. “Let’s just have some fun. This is your night.” She wasn’t too worried. She was sure the story wouldn’t even get printed because the interview had literally taken about two minutes. And if it did, oh well. She wasn’t going to get in the habit of playing nice just to save face in Hollywood. If people didn’t like her attitude she didn’t care. She wasn’t going to suck up just so people would see her movie.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

It was a week later and the girls had all just settled into their hotel suites in Park City, Utah where the film festival was held each year. It was the middle of January so it was freezing. Not that it was much of a change in weather considering New York had just seen a blizzard the day before they had all left. That didn’t stop them all from bundling up head to toe before stepping out to explore the city.

 

The premiere of Santana’s movie wasn’t set until the day after they had arrived so the girls had taken the chance to see the city around them. They had explored all of the shopping, walked along the streets among the crowds of fans in relative anonymity, and taken way too many pictures of the group standing near all the random art statues that adorned the small town.

 

After a day of sight seeing and blending in, they had all dressed to impress in order to attend numerous parties that were being held by various celebrities and production companies. Santana got invited through her director, cast mates, and producers of her film. Rachel got invited because she was a Tony award winner. Between the two of them they had invites to pretty much any party going on and they took advantage of as many as possible.

 

After a long night of partying and mingling, the four girls made their way back to their hotel to call it a night. They had been given two rooms, thankfully. Santana had not wanted to hear Paige and Emily drunkenly hiding the fact that they were fooling around. It was bad enough to hear it at home but having to hear it in the same hotel room? She would not have been happy if that had been the case.

 

The morning of the premiere, Santana had been pulled out of bed at the crack of daylight to start preparations. She had about a billion appearances to make before the movie would even have it’s premiere that night. She had to sit and do interview after interview with her co-star. She was only about two hours in when she started getting sick of hearing the same questions over and over again. Luckily Rachel was there to remind her to just smile, breathe, and be polite. This was, after all, part of being in movies. 

 

When lunch came, Santana thought she might get a break but that was not the case. As she tried to eat the provided meal, she was being primped and touched up. She almost snapped and told all of the hair and make up people to leave her alone for five seconds, but again Rachel was there to remind her that this was part of the job. Once the movie premiered that evening the bulk of this would all be over with and they could go back to their quasi normal lives in New York.

 

Santana envied Paige and Emily. They were out and about, hopping from movie to movie, mingling with other celebrities, and probably already drinking. She had to remind herself it would all be worth it in the end. She would get to party that night and have everyone singing her praises. That is what got her through the day. That and the look of pride on Rachel’s face every time she looked at her.

 

When the interviews finally ended and Santana was allowed to leave and go get ready for the evening, she nearly knocked the light guy over in her haste to leave. She had grabbed Rachel, said a quick “see ya later” to her co-stars and bolted. She could not wait to get back to the hotel and relax for five minutes without someone asking her a question or touching up her lipstick. If those hair and makeup people came anywhere near her while she was getting ready for the premiere she was sure she would have an Incredible Hulk type fit of rage.

 

Santana let out a heavy sigh of relief once they were in their hotel room. She walked right over to the bed and dropped onto it face first. She bounced a few times on the mattress then reached for a pillow to pull under her head. “I want to sleep for seven days. I am so exhausted” She mumbled as her head hit the soft pillow. It felt so good. She never wanted to move from that spot.

 

“Oh come on it hasn’t been that bad” Rachel gave a chipper smile as she kicked off her shoes and shrugged out of her heavy coat. She had been having an incredible time that morning watching Santana talk about the movie. It was amazing to be on the other side of things. 

 

“Not that bad?” Santana grumbled against the pillow, her eyes closed now as her body started to relax. “Have you ever been asked the same damn question a hundred times in the span of like five hours?”

 

“Well, no” Rachel shrugged and moved to sit on the side of the bed next to Santana. She reached out and put a hand on her back, rubbing it soothingly “But you know they are all told by their bosses which questions to ask, right? A lot of publications need to know the basics of each movie like your favorite scene to shoot, your favorite thing about the movie, and what it was like to work with your co-stars. It’s the type of things that readers like.”

 

“So can’t they just all read the same interview so I only have to answer each question once?” Santana let out a sigh and hugged the pillow. She was so tired she wasn’t sure she would be able to stay up through the premiere.

 

“Will you just appreciate all of this?” Rachel said with a soft laugh. Her hand moved now to unzip the top that Santana had put on for the press junket that morning. Her hands pushed the two sides of the top aside and started to lightly rub at Santana’s back. “Just take a few deep breaths and relax a little bit, okay? You have some time before we have to head to the premiere so let’s forget about it.”

 

Santana nodded in agreement as she sighed happily at the feel of Rachel’s hands on her back “That is definitely helping.”

 

Rachel smirked a little bit as her hands slid off her back and down over her ass lightly. She slowly traced the length of her thighs and calves until she reached the shoes Santana had worn. They were boots, for all the snow, but they were also wedges so she was sure Santana’s feet were aching. She started to unlace them one by one, her eyes glancing here and there up toward the side of Santana’s face “I was hoping you’d say that.”

 

“Say what?” Santana perked an eyebrow now and lifted her head off the pillow. One eye peeked open and she looked down at Rachel undoing her boots.

 

“That I was helping” Rachel said with a coy little shrug as she dropped Santana’s second boot to the floor then slowly looked up at Santana with a smirk. “Because I had an idea to help you relax.”

 

“Oh really?” Santana smirked at the way Rachel was looking at her. She had something working in her mind and Santana definitely had an idea of what she was thinking. She slowly rolled from laying on her stomach and propped herself up on her elbows to look at Rachel better. The motion caused her top to fall off her body and she smirked at that, raising a challenging eyebrow at Rachel now.

 

Rachel bit her lip as her eyes fell on Santana’s now bare chest. She nodded her head slowly as she moved now to crawl over Santana. With a hand and a knee on each side of Santana’s body she slowly moved over her looking like a cat stalking it’s prey “I think I know a thing or two about how to relax you by now.”

 

“Oh, you think?” Santana bit her lip, fighting a smirk as she watched the way Rachel crept over her. She had to admit it was one of the sexiest things she had ever seen. But she was trying to play it cool so she gave an uninterested shrug “I don’t think I believe you.”

 

“No?” Rachel arched an eyebrow as her hands moved along Santana’s thighs slowly. Each inch that her fingers moved pushed up the material of the tight skirt Santana had worn that day. She licked slowly at her lips, her eyes holding contact with Santana’s as the material of her skirt gathered around her waist now “Well if you don’t think I can help...”

 

Santana fought a shiver at the feel of Rachel’s fingers on her thighs. That mixed with the look in her eyes was making it hard for her to keep playing it cool. She bit at her bottom lip and tried to look completely bored by what Rachel was doing “I mean if you want to try it’s up to you...”

 

Rachel just let out a soft laugh at that. She rocked back so she was sitting on Santana’s legs. Her eyes finally broke the stare down she had held with Santana but only to move to where her hands were working. She made sure the material of the skirt was completely out of her way before she started to peel Santana’s nylons down her hips “Will you lift your ass, please? It would make this a lot easier.”

 

Santana smirked as her hips lifted and allowed for the material to pass off her hips and down her thighs now “You know you could just take the skirt off and save yourself some time. I have to change out of it for the premiere anyway.”

 

“What fun would that be?” Rachel rolled her eyes as she shimmied the nylons all the way down Santana’s legs until she had to move to remove them completely. Once they were free of her body, she tossed them aside then looked back to Santana with a smirk. “Now will you stop talking and relax?”

 

“I would if you would hurry up and start helping me” Santana mumbled as her eyes took in the way Rachel once more crawled up over her body.

 

“I thought you didn’t think I knew how to relax you?” Rachel fought a smirk with a bite to her bottom lip. Her eyes found Santana’s gaze on her and she slowly licked over her lips. Her hands moved up the length of Santana’s legs until reaching her thighs and not too gently pushed them apart.

 

“Well I said you could try if you-” Santana was cut off by the sudden dip of Rachel’s head and the feel of her tongue sweeping against her folds. She let out a long sigh and closed her eyes as her thighs pulled apart wider “Shit, Berry.”

 

Rachel smirked against her at the words from Santana. She never grew tired of knowing she could render her practically speechless. She let her tongue move up through her folds slowly, almost painfully so, making sure to tease and taste every inch of Santana that she could.

 

“Jesus” Santana’s head fell back and it took everything in her not to drop from her elbows and lay back on the mattress. She forced her eyes open so she could watch Rachel work between her legs. God she never got tired of that sight.

 

Rachel let out a soft hum of liking against Santana as she slowly teased up and down through her folds. Her eyes lifted and she saw the way Santana was watching her and it only spurred her on more. She knew how much Santana loved when she did this. As their eyes made contact her tongue moved up and she gently teased the tip against Santana’s clit now, smirking as she did so.

 

Santana pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth as her hips jerked at the sensations from Rachel’s tongue. It was almost killing her how painstakingly slowly she was moving. “That feels so good, Rach.”

 

Rachel let out a moan to acknowledge Santana’s words before her eyes closed and her tongue moved again. This time as her tongue passed between her folds she pushed inside of Santana completely. She licked in a circle a few times before curling her tongue and giving it a few quick flicks up and down.

 

“Shit” Santana couldn’t help it now and she fell back completely on the mattress. Her hips lifted into Rachel’s mouth as a hand dropped to her head. Her fingers gripped tightly at her long brown locks as a throaty moan lifted from her lips.

 

Another hum of liking lifted from Rachel’s mouth as her tongue moved. She flicked back and forth, up and down, swirling it in soft circles a few times before moving it out again. This time her tongue stroked up and down Santana’s folds but it was not slow like before. Her strokes were more urgent, more focused. She knew what she needed to do to drive Santana wild and she wasn’t going to stop until she accomplished it.

 

Santana’s fingers tugged gently at the hair she held in her hand. Her hips were rocking ever so slightly against Rachel’s mouth and her breathing was starting to grow heavy. “Just like that” She mumbled every time Rachel’s tongue teased against her clit. The way her mouth was moving was managing to tease every nerve in the best way possible and Santana wasn’t sure if she could hold out much longer.

 

Rachel now moved her mouth to focus on Santana’s clit. She sucked it between her teeth, teased it back and forth, up and down, and gave soft sucks against it. As she did that a hand dipped under her chin and she gently slipped a finger inside Santana. With each stroke in, her finger curled upward and her tongue flickered faster. 

 

Santana’s body gave a shudder when Rachel put a finger inside her. It was almost too much the way Rachel was touching every spot that drove her wild. She drew in a deep breath and managed to lift back onto her elbow so she could look down at her girlfriend “So close, baby. Keep going.”

 

Rachel had no intention of stopping. In fact, Santana’s words only made her move faster. Her hand was moving in and out of Santana furiously now, thrusting so hard Santana’s body jolted. Her mouth had her clit trapped, working so feverishly with flickers of her tongue and sucks between her lips that she could almost feel each nerve twitching.

 

A strangled cry of pleasure left Santana’s lips and her eyes snapped shut. She fell back against the bed again and lifted her hips. She started to twitch and jerk, making it almost impossible for Rachel’s mouth to stay on her but she somehow managed it. The continuous assault sent shivers through her thighs and tied a knot in her stomach. She knew she wouldn’t last much longer now.

 

Rachel knew it, too. Though Santana’s hips were jerking erratically against her mouth she managed to keep with the continuous stimulation. As soon as she felt Santana’s hand pull at her hair and her hips freeze she knew she was victorious.

 

Santana’s hips jerked one last time before she felt the knot in her stomach untwist and release suddenly. Her legs closed tightly around Rachel’s head and her back arched off the bed. She let out a loud cry as her body trembled with pleasure as it coursed through her body from head to toe.

 

Rachel smirked when she felt Santana’s legs close around her head. She laid a few kisses against her folds before turning her head and kissing along her inner thigh lightly. She managed to free her head from between her legs and let out a soft laugh at the way Santana’s body had fallen still against the mattress. She licked over her lips slowly before moving up to kiss Santana’s bare stomach just once “So how do you feel now?”

 

Santana let out a tired laugh and nodded her head against the pillow “Relaxed.”

 

Rachel laughed too before pushing herself up off the bed completely now “And you doubted me.”

 

“Not for a second” Santana whispered, her eyes coming open now to catch Rachel moving away from the bed. She frowned a little as her body started to come down from the high it had been on “Where are you going?”

 

“Shower” Rachel said with a shrug, glancing back at Santana with a smile. “I need to be fresh and clean for the premiere.”

 

Santana pouted and sat up slightly, looking over herself and how she was only wearing a skirt pushed up to her stomach. “You’re just gonna blow me and leave?”

 

Rachel rolled her eyes at the term Santana had used and shook her head “You could always join me?” She arched an eyebrow curiously at Santana before bolting off toward the bathroom.

 

Santana gasped and let out a laugh as she scrambled off the bed and followed suit toward the bathroom. They had some time to kill before hair and make up arrived anyway. Besides, Rachel was right. They needed to be fresh and clean for the premiere.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“Okay so how this works is...” Santana’s publicist, which she had hired solely to help her through this whole movie premiere business, was rambling on about how the girls would exit the car and go down the makeshift red carpet. She gave instructions about how long to pose for photographers, where to stand, and reminded them all not to talk to anyone shouting out questions. The question and answer portion after the movie was made for that.

 

Santana wasn’t paying attention. She was too busy pouring each of the girls a cup of champagne while they waited in the car. There was a line of cars that were dropping off celebrities and cast and crew members to the premiere. It was funny because this was just an independent film festival but each year it turned more into a real Hollywood event than the year before. She was one of the main stars so she was scheduled to appear in the middle of all the arrivals because it would give her the most exposure. Late-coming photographers wouldn’t miss her and the ones that left early to go find good seats in the theater wouldn’t miss her. It was perfect timing, so said her publicist.

 

Rachel was skimming the current issue of ‘Filmmaker’ that she had picked up earlier that day. She had seen a bunch of important people carrying it around so she decided to grab a copy and read through it. She wanted to know what the independent movie crowd was interested in.

 

“Here, babe” Santana whispered softly, nudging her to take the cup of champagne. Once Rachel took her cup, Santana smiled and looked at the other girls. She lifted her cup and made a cheers motion toward Emily, Paige, and her publicist “Here’s to the craziest thing I have ever experienced in my life.”

 

The other girls laughed then took a drink. Her publicist just set down the cup and continued talking even though no one was listening. Paige slid her arm around Emily and gave her a smile “Isn’t this crazy exciting? I can’t believe I am going to a movie premiere.”

 

“Let alone a movie that has my cousin in it!” Emily agreed with a laugh as she lifted her cup toward Paige for another cheers. “I am so glad you’re here. I can’t imagine doing this without you. I’d probably be on the phone constantly so it would almost be like you were here.”

 

Paige just smiled softly and gave her head a shake “I wouldn’t have missed this for the world, Em.” The two girls shared a smile before leaning into each other for a soft kiss.

 

Santana rolled her eyes then looked at Rachel beside her. She hadn’t touched her champagne. Instead she was intensely staring into the magazine in her hands. Santana perked an eyebrow at that and leaned closer, looking to see what had her attention. “What did you find?”

 

Rachel smiled slightly and bent the page open enough to show Santana. There looking up at them was a picture of a blood-soaked Santana, a still from the movie, and the title of the movie. “It’s just a little snippet introducing the movie, the director, the stars, and the premiere date. But look...” She pointed under Santana’s name and started to read the passage that had been included.

 

“If the name Santana Lopez sounds familiar you must be up on your gossip. Buzz around her and recent Tony award winner Rachel Berry started last summer after Berry’s victory speech at the awards pointed to her as one of her major inspirations. Speculation of the nature of their relationship started to swirl but it wasn’t until later in the year that the two of them confirmed they were romantically involved. Since then the two of have been attached at the hip and you couldn’t mention one without the other being brought up. When asked about how this has helped bring attention to the film, Lopez had this to say-”

 

Santana grabbed the magazine out of Rachel’s hands and shook her head a bit “I can’t believe she used any of this interview! I didn’t think I had said anything of interest.”

 

“Give it back” Rachel said with a laugh, pulling the pages back into her grasp. She smiled as her eyes found where she had left off then continued reading. “Lopez had this to say: ‘Look, I love Rachel and I knew going into a relationship with her that we would be in the public eye together. Did I for one moment think that using her notoriety would help this movie? Not once. But since it has, I am not going to say it’s a bad thing. I want this movie to do well, I put my heart and soul into making it. So if my dating Rachel is helping, then so be it. But I will never use my relationship as a vehicle to gain attention.’”

 

Rachel looked up at Santana after reading the passage with a dreamy smile on her lips “Did you mean what you said?”

 

Santana nodded and pulled the magazine out of her hands again as her eyes dropped to the pages to read over the passage again “Of course I did. You know I would never use you to get ahead. I’m so over that part of my life.”

 

“Not that” Rachel shook her head and put her hand over the pages, blocking the words from Santana’s view. She used her other hand to pull at Santana’s chin until her eyes lifted and met Rachel’s. She smiled and gave her head a little shake “Did you mean the part about loving me?”

 

Santana blinked just once and her eyes flickered down to the magazine. She hadn’t even realized when giving the interview that she had said that. She had said it so naturally, as if it were common knowledge. She had been terrified to tell Rachel how her feelings had progressed because she was still, for some reason, afraid Rachel didn’t feel the same. But the fact that she could tell a complete stranger that? It made it a little easier to admit to herself. 

 

She finally nodded and let out a breath of a laugh as her eyes lifted back to find Rachel still staring at her lovingly “Of course I meant that. You know I love you, Rachel.”

 

“I know” Rachel squeaked out, tears already starting to slide down her cheeks as emotion swelled through her. “But you’ve never said that before.”

 

Santana just shrugged shyly and leaned in to kiss at her lips just once “I guess I was afraid to.”

 

“You’re an idiot” Rachel mumbled before letting out a laugh and wiping a tear off her cheek. “You know I love you, too, Santana.”

 

Santana nodded her head quickly as a tear now moved down her cheek “Yeah, I was kind of hoping you did.”

 

Rachel just shook her head and moved her hand to the back of Santana’s head, pulling her into a firm, deep kiss. 

 

“Awww” Emily cooed from across the car, her smile so wide it spread across her entire face. “I think we just witnessed the first time they said I love you.”

 

“That was the most awkward thing I have ever seen” Paige mumbled with a soft laugh. She glanced at Emily with a smile, kissed her cheek, then lifted her champagne in the air “To Rachel and Santana, the most unorthodox couple I have ever known!”

 

Rachel let out a giggle as the kiss broke and she turned to look at Paige and Emily. She lifted her cup of champagne and nodded in agreement to the toast “There is nothing traditional about us, that’s for sure.”

 

“And I like it that way” Santana smirked, lifting her cup to cheers the others before taking a swallow and setting her cup to the side.

 

“Alright ladies, are you ready?” The publicist asked, looking around the circle. She saw the streaks of mascara down both Rachel and Santana’s cheeks and let out a sigh. “Here” She pulled out a compact for the girls and rolled her eyes “Touch yourselves up. We’re out next and you need to look like a million bucks.”

 

Rachel bit her lip shyly and took the makeup. She turned and started to lightly pat Santana’s cheeks to cover the streaks “I guess that was a really bad time for that, huh?”

 

Santana shook her head, smiling down at the girl as she patted her cheeks “We’ve never had great timing about anything.”

 

“So true” Rachel did the last few touches then nodded to indicate Santana looked good. She then turned the mirror on herself and started to cover her own streaks. The publicist was giving Santana a run down of what to expect for the tenth time and Rachel fought a laugh at the annoyed look on Santana’s face. If she managed to get through the rest of the night without punching someone it would be a miracle.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

After the movie, the cast and crew had participated in a brief question and answer session. Most of the questions had been directed toward the director and writer since both Santana and her co-star were pretty unknown. Once it had finished all of the VIPs and their guests were ushered to the ballroom of the theater for the after party.

 

Santana had been pulled aside by her director and they were in the middle of a conversation about the film itself and all of the good buzz he had been hearing about it already. It seemed that though horror films were always an iffy route, especially in the independent scene, their film was already gaining a lot of positive attention.

 

“Oh, hey” Santana interrupted her director when she noticed Rachel approaching her. She turned and reached out her hand, smiling when Rachel took it and stepped up next to her. “Roger, this is Rachel.”

 

“Ah so you are why my star was distracted the entire time?” The man, who was no older than Santana nor Rachel, gave her a wide smile and held out his hand “It is lovely to finally meet you.”

 

Rachel giggled softly and gave the man a warm handshake. “And you. Though Santana might have been distracted by me, she didn’t shut up about you once she returned home so I suppose it was a fair trade.”

 

“Okay” Santana rolled her eyes and let out a light laugh “Firstly, I was not distracted the entire time! Just the night of the Tonys because I really wished I was there.”

 

“Oh so all the times I had to pull you off your phone had nothing to do with this stunning beauty here?” Roger motioned to Rachel with a smirk.

 

Santana shook her head and looked down at her feet. If she was capable of a soft blush, it would have been visible. But, blessed be her genes and her ability to hide the bit of pink that rose in her cheeks. She rolled her eyes and looked up at Rachel, who was staring at her because she knew the truth. “Oh my god” Santana laughed almost shyly and looked away from both of them now “Okay so who needs another drink?”

 

“I think it’s adorable” Rachel cooed as her arm slid around Santana’s back now and rubbed it softly. She looked at the man standing near them and shrugged “The funniest part about it all was we weren’t even together back then. It was just Santana’s huge crush on me coming out to distract her.”

 

“Okay!” Santana yelped even louder and now the blood rushing to her cheeks glowed brightly in a rare blush sighting. “So, Roger, you were saying something about producers being interested in picking up the movie for distribution?”

 

Roger chuckled lightly at how flustered Santana had become. She had been so quiet and stoic during her time filming. She kept to herself and though she wasn’t unpleasant she hadn’t let her guard down enough to really let her personality shine. So seeing her now with Rachel was a real treat for him and he knew he had picked the right person to be the face of his movie. He wouldn’t pick on her anymore, though, and simply nodded and moved onto Santana’s now preferred subject “I have heard a few companies are interested, yes.”

 

The conversation continued for about ten minutes before Roger had to excuse himself to go talk to someone in one of the companies he had mentioned. Santana had never realized how much work it took to get your film seen and she respected everyone on the cast and crew so much more now that she had experienced it first hand.

 

“Do you want another drink?” Santana asked Rachel softly as they moved through the crowded ballroom together. Though the room itself was large, made specifically for large events such as this, it was still rather filled. It seemed their movie was one of the “must-see films” of the festival and it had gathered quite a crowd.

 

“I think I’m alright” Rachel said with a nod, motioning with her glass to show she still had half of it left. There was an open bar and people seemed to be taking advantage of it but Rachel didn’t want to get too drunk. She wanted to remember this night. It was the biggest night of Santana’s life thus far and she wanted to remember as much of it as possible.

 

It seemed Santana had the same thought because she had only had one drink as well. She was taking in her surroundings and enjoying every second of it. She never knew if she would ever experience anything like this again so she wanted to make sure to take advantage of the moment.

 

“Wait” Santana paused when they hit a clearing in the crowd and looked around. After a moment, concern painted over her features and she glanced down at Rachel “Have you seen Paige and Emily recently?”

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Emily giggled softly as she wound her way through the crowd, her hand clutching onto Paige’s tightly.

 

“Where are we going?” Paige asked with a bit of concern in her tone. Emily had just grabbed her hand and tugged her along without a word.

 

“You’ll see” Emily said with a quick nod, never once taking her eyes off her goal. She excused herself through a few people and out of the ballroom altogether. They moved into a little side hallway that lead to bathrooms, the coat room, and the exits. Though they were not in a crowd anymore Emily still clutched Paige’s hand tightly.

 

“Wait, we aren’t leaving are we? Don’t you think we should tell Santana and Rachel?” Paige frowned and glanced around when she noticed they were no longer in the main party area.

 

“No” Emily glanced back at Paige now and shook her head. “Just trust me.”

 

Paige drew in a deep breath and shut her mouth. She wanted to know where they were going but Emily seemed determined and calm so she would just follow her lead and hope for the best.

 

They reached the coat room and Emily paused outside the door. She looked both ways down the hallway and once she noticed the coast was clear gave Paige a quick tug and pulled her into the room behind her.

 

“You know they have someone to get our coats for us, right?” Paige whispered now as if talking any louder would get them busted. 

 

Emily let out a soft laugh as she navigated through the coats “We don’t need our coats.”

 

“Then what are we doin-”

 

Paige was cut off when Emily stopped and pulled at her so fiercely she spun around. Before she could even gain her balance Emily had her pinned against the back wall of the dark coat room and was pressing her lips to her hungrily. She let out a soft moan into the kiss and let it linger for just a moment before finally managing to pull her lips free and look at Emily with a weak smile “Not that I’m complaining but what was that for?”

 

“I have been staring at you in this suit all night” Emily whispered, her eyes locked with Paige’s as her hands moved down the front of her body. “I couldn’t take it anymore. I just had to have you.”

 

Paige shivered at the feel of Emily’s hands running along her torso. Her eyes flickered closed and she drew in a deep breath to try and steady herself. She gave just a single nod of understanding and a small smile curled at the corner of her lips “I apologize for making tonight difficult for you.”

 

“Don’t you dare apologize” Emily whispered as she leaned into her, lips nearly touching for a kiss but pausing just a breath away. When she spoke again her words were felt in each breath she exhaled “Just enjoy.”

 

Before Paige could comment again, her lips were being trapped by Emily’s. A tremble moved through her from the point of the kiss all the way to her toes. As her lips parted to welcome the hungry kiss, she felt Emily’s fingers tugging at the waist of her slacks and she had to fight off another moan. Had she known Emily would react like this she would have worn a suit a lot sooner.

 

Emily smiled against the kiss when Paige didn’t fight her. She tilted her head against Paige and deepened the kiss, letting her tongue tease against Paige’s as her hands worked. They were on a mission and within just a few moments she had the buttons undone and the zipper pushed down. Without hesitation her hand pushed into the opening she had created and gently let her fingers tease up and down along the front of the panties Paige had worn that evening.

 

Another moan lifted from Paige’s lips. Her hips pushed forward, begging for more of Emily’s touch. Though she had always thought sneaking away to fool around was tacky, she was starting to second guess that. Each time Emily’s fingers teased against her, her heart leaped and her body cried out for more. Each time they heard a noise just outside the coat room door her body heated more. The thought to stop never once crossed her mind, much to her own surprise.

 

Emily smirked against the kiss at how responsive Paige had been. Not once had she argued it. With each pass of her fingers she felt how much Paige’s body liked what they were doing and that was the biggest surprise of all. She loved that it had taken no convincing at all. So with a few more slow teasing passes, her fingers moved to the side, pushed the material of the panties out of the way, slid up through Paige’s welcoming hot folds just once, and dove inside her eager body.

 

Paige’s lips broke from the kiss and her head fell back against the wall. She let out a soft yelp of pleasure then bit at her bottom lip to hold back anymore noise. She couldn’t explain what was happening to her body but only that she liked it more than she had ever expected she would.

 

Emily smiled at the way Paige reacted to her. Slowly as her hand worked in and out, fingers curling and pressing into all of her nerves, her other hand lifted and gently covered Paige’s mouth. “Shhhh” She breathed out softly, moving her lips now to lay against her ear before she spoke again “You have to be quiet.”

 

Paige nodded her head furiously against Emily’s hand. She made no move to uncover her mouth. She liked it. She liked the way Emily had taken charge without hesitation. She liked the way Emily’s need for her had taken over in a way that she would not be denied. Everything about this was unexpectedly sexy and Paige wouldn’t fight it. She would be an idiot to stop it because her body was crying out for every new sensation.

 

Emily lightly bit at Paige’s ear as her hand inside her started to move more quickly. She knew they had to be quick or chance someone coming for a coat and being caught. So knowing now that Paige was completely for this, her hand picked up speed. Soon she had a furious rhythm going, in and out, fingers curling and scissoring, leaving no needing part untouched.

 

Even with Emily’s hand over her mouth Paige managed to breath out a heavy moan. Her hips were now moving perfectly with Emily’s hand. Her legs were growing weaker each time Emily thrust into her. She had to reach out to grasp something to hold herself up. One hand managed to find the rod where the coats hung and grip tightly to it. The other wound itself around Emily’s waist and tugged at her dress. She held so tightly her fingers ached.

 

Emily nodded quickly as she felt Paige’s body starting to fall apart. She knew she was close. She pulled back enough to watch the way Paige’s face was twisting in pleasure. A smile curled at the corner of her lips with each ragged breath Paige drew in and let out shakily. “Come on, Paige. Come for me.”

 

Paige licked at her lips quickly and drew in another deep breath. Her head rolled forward just enough for her to catch sight of Emily watching her. There was something intense in the way Emily looked at her. Such determination and fire in her eyes. It shook Paige to the very core. She felt her stomach knot up and she knew she couldn’t hold back now. “Just a little more, Em.”

 

Emily smiled and leaned in to touch a brief kiss to her lips. It was swift, just a peck, but as she did so she also changed the angel of her hand and her fingers found the one spot she knew drove Paige wild. She thrust into the spot a few times quickly, her movements focused and unwavering as she pulled from the kiss wanting to see Paige unravel completely. 

 

She did. That was all she had needed and Emily knew it. The focused strokes were enough to cause the knot in Paige’s stomach to quickly unravel. She felt her hips twitch once, twice, and her body soon followed. Her legs trembled, her back arched, and her hips moved with Emily’s skilled fingers as the wave of pleasure rushed through her. She let the heat soak into her body from head to toe, riding out every last ounce of pleasure until she could no longer move. Finally her body fell limp against the wall and had Emily not had her entire weight against her she might have slid to the floor.

 

But Emily quickly moved her arm around Paige’s waist and pulled her against herself. She held there tightly, feeling the way Paige’s body trembled against her. She smiled to herself and kissed a trail of soft pecks along her neck softly until she reached her ear. She let out the softest giggle before nibbling at her lobe. “That was hot.”

 

Paige let out a tired laugh and nodded against Emily’s cheek. She turned her head and placed a lazy kiss to Emily’s ear before letting out a pleased hum. “Remind me to wear a suit for every fancy thing we ever have to do for the rest of our lives.”

 

Emily giggled again and pulled back enough to find Paige’s eyes. “Deal” She leaned in and kissed her once more before pulling back just enough to let Paige find her footing. She held her arm around her waist until she was sure Paige was steady. She then moved both hands to her waist and started to fix her zipper and buttons “Now let’s go out there and pretend like nothing happened.”

 

Paige let out a soft laugh and reached down to tuck her shirt back into her pants once Emily had her all done up again. She straightened herself up then looked at Emily with a bit of a smirk. She lifted her hand and pushed some of her hair behind her ear “You somehow have sex hair.”

 

Emily blushed at that and gave her shoulders a slight shrug “I guess I really dedicated myself to the cause.” She lifted her hands and started to smooth down her hair.

 

Paige stopped her and gave her head a shake “Leave it. It’s pretty sexy.”

 

Emily bit her lip and nodded, dropping her hands from her hair before reaching out to slide her fingers through Paige’s. She let her gaze linger on her for another moment before she turned and started out of the coat room, both of them with knowing little smirks on their lips as the rejoined the party with the knowledge that not a single person knew of their dirty little side journey.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“There you are” Rachel came up behind Emily who had stopped by the bar to get another drink. She put a hand on her back then stepped around to face her, a frown on her lips “Santana and I have been looking all over for you. We thought you got lost.”

 

“We just went to the bathroom” Emily said with a calm shrug of her shoulders. When her drink was handed over she smiled at the man thankfully then turned away from the bar to face Rachel. “You wouldn’t believe how long the bathroom lines are. I almost peed in the hallway.”

 

Rachel eyed the girl up and down just once and lifted an eyebrow curiously at her appearance. Her dress was wrinkled and her hair disheveled. Giving a shake of her head, she turned and motioned for Emily to follow “Santana is over here.”

 

Emily bit her lip at the way Rachel looked at her. She knew she was busted and if Rachel could tell what they had done there would be no doubt her cousin could tell, too. She glanced over her shoulder at Paige who was following close behind and pouted out her bottom lip.

 

Paige just gave her a little half smile. Hey she had no regrets. Besides, Santana had promised to butt out of their sex life so who cares if she knew, right?

 

The three of them wound their way through the crowd until they found Santana again. Rachel slid her arm through Santana’s softly and gave her a squeeze “I found them.”

 

Santana turned from where she had been listening to two tech geeks talk about lighting a certain scene. As soon as her eyes fell on her cousin and Paige, her jaw dropped and she let out a sort of disgusted laugh “Are you two kidding me right now?”

 

Emily blushed and looked at her feet. Paige bit at her bottom lip and fought a smirk. When she had first met Santana, she had been intimidated by her and had really wanted to impress her. After knowing her for six months and living with her over the past month she now found it amusing every time Santana was annoyed. Maybe that is why Rachel had stuck it out as long as she had, annoying Santana was fun!

 

Santana just rolled her eyes as the two of them stood there silently, pretending like nothing was wrong. She looked over at Rachel and motioned with her a shake of her head “Why didn’t you think of that?”

 

Rachel gasped and playfully swatted at Santana’s chest before letting out a laugh. “So the hotel wasn’t enough for you?”   
  


Santana smirked and slid her arm around Rachel gently, pulling her close and kissing the side of her head before whispering against her ear “Baby, you know I can never get enough of you.”  

 

“Santana” Roger approached suddenly from the crowd and gave her a wide grin. Rachel was thankful for the sudden interruption so Santana couldn’t see her blush. He reached his hand out and took hold of one of hers, giving it an excited squeeze “I wanted you to be one of the first to know. One of the distribution companies has made a bid. If all goes well the film should be signed for release by the end of the day.”

 

“What?” Santana’s eyes went wide and she glanced at Rachel, who was beaming proudly at her girlfriend. She looked around her and saw both Emily and Paige grinning too. She shook her head and looked back at her director with a shrug “Does that mean what I think it does?”

 

Roger nodded excitedly “People are going to see this film. The distributors said a big part of the reason they were interested was you. They loved your performance and they are interested in releasing the film because they believe you are going to blow up.” He let out a soft laugh and patted Santana on the back “You’re going to be a hit.”

 

Santana just blinked. She was in a bit of shock. She had thought she had done decently on the film but never thought anyone else would think so. Now she was going to be seen by thousands across the country? She couldn’t believe it. 

 

“I’m so proud of you” Rachel whispered as soon as Roger excused himself to go find the other actors to tell them the good news. She took both of Santana’s hands in hers and gave them a tight squeeze “I knew you could do it, San. All your hard work and patience is paying off.”

 

“Wow, San” Emily grabbed her cousin and gave her a tight hug before letting her go. “This is so awesome! My cousin is going to be a movie star!”

 

“Congrats” Paige said with a nod, giving Santana’s shoulder a squeeze. “It really is a great movie.”

 

Santana just shook her head. Her eyes had blurred into tunnel vision as she looked around at her loved ones congratulating her. She wasn’t sure this was real. She shook her head and blinked her eyes to clear up her vision. When she did so her gaze landed on Rachel, still smiling proudly at her, and she smiled weakly “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. People have to actually see the movie first.”

 

“They will” Rachel said with an excited nod. She leaned up on her toes and kissed Santana quickly before dropping back to her feet. She gave a sort of bouncy shrug and squeezed Santana’s hands again. “What do you want to do now?”

 

Santana just shrugged and looked around at the other girls again. All of her dreams were seemingly coming true. She was finally making strides forward in her acting career, she had a girlfriend she loved, and she couldn’t think of a single thing she wanted at the moment. So she just let out a soft laugh, looked at Rachel with a grin, and lifted a single shoulder in a shrug “Can we go home?”

 

Rachel perked an eyebrow but nodded very slowly. A soft smile spread over her lips and she offered out her arm for Santana to take hold of “I think that is a great idea.”

 


End file.
